Why Being Stuck on Autopilot will Keep You Locked in Overwhelm – and How to Break Out of It

 

I’ve been thinking lately about how much time we all tend to spend stuck on autopilot.  You know, that state where you’re going through the motions, checking boxes, running around doing things… but not really accomplishing all that much.

It’s a state of unconsciousness that leaves you wondering where the day went.  Sometimes you may not even remember what you ate for lunch, or how the time just got sucked away.

And when you have a lot on your plate, being stuck in autopilot also means you’ll likely end your days in frustration about how little you got accomplished.  And wake up the next day feeling like you’re already behind.

But what if there’s a way to break out of that rut and get back on a path that is not only productive, but enjoyable and satisfying as well?

This week’s video will give you some tips for consciously reclaiming your day and effectively accomplishing your most important tasks with ease and grace.

FULL TRANSCRIPT

Hi there. Diane Bolden, executive coach and author of the Pinocchio Principle: Becoming a Real Leader –How to Unleash Genius in Yourself and Those You Lead.

Have you ever gotten to the end of a day where you felt like you just didn’t do the things that you really wanted to get done? And then you wake up the next morning feeling like you’re already behind and perpetuating that same state of overwhelm, that frustration, that irritation that you had the day before.

Why autopilot is a problem

It’s really easy to get stuck in autopilot. And the problem with autopilot is whatever it is that you’re doing is going to be repeated on an ongoing basis. Checking boxes and trying to get through the day and feeling overwhelmed doesn’t necessarily bode itself well to high levels of productivity, to creativity, to ingenuity or to satisfaction and fulfillment.

But what if you could break through that? What if you could have an entirely different experience? What if you could interrupt that autopilot pattern and in its place access a zone where you’re productive or you’re enjoying the work that you’re doing or you’re able to access creativity and think outside of the box?

Well, today I want to share with you a tip that you can try to do just that.

The physical laws that contribute to autopilot and overwhelm

Autopilot is largely a product of the law of inertia which essentially states that an object will remain in motion or at rest unless acted upon by an external force in a way that changes the trajectory. So, if you need to change your trajectory, you’ve got to do a bit of a pattern interrupt.

And there’s another reason why this is so important and that is another law of physics, that basically states things that are similar attract each other. And it’s not necessarily just things, but also thoughts. So, when you’re in a state of overwhelm, when you’re in a state of frustration and irritation and worry and anxiety, chances are likely that you’re going to continue to think in ways that perpetuate that state and you’re going to continue to act in ways that perpetuate that state as well. And if you’re not getting results, you’re likely to continue not getting results and then fretting about having not achieved all the things you really wanted to do.

When you’re stuck in autopilot and overwhelm, try a pattern interrupt

When you do a pattern interrupt, essentially, the best thing to do is to flash forward and to start with the end in mind – to identify for yourself, what would it feel like if you were to get to the end of your day and actually accomplish what you set out to do? Can you imagine feeling that rush of gratitude, of satisfaction, of accomplishment? Can you imagine being able to end your workday and go on to spend time with your family or your friends in a way that you weren’t distracted by the things that were still gnawing at you from work?

Start with the end in mind

Take that feeling a step further. Try and identify – what are the most critical things that you need to have done today? And try to pick no more than three to five things that are really, really important to you. Now take some time to do a little writing – not about the tasks that have yet to be done but see if you can flash forward to the end of your day. See if you can envision that you’ve time traveled and that you’re already the version of yourself that has achieved those critical things you identified that are on your list.

See if you can write a note back to the current version of yourself, sharing with yourself how grateful you are that you were able to accomplish what really needed to be done and how much easier it was than you thought it would be, how relaxed and relieved you feel that you actually accomplished what needed to be done, and how grateful you are for the experience. See if you can capture that. Have fun with it, embellish it a little bit.

And when you’re done, go back to consciously starting your day from a whole different mindset and see what happens.

Bonus tip for when you’re stuck on autopilot

I can give you a tip that will help you to continue to perpetuate this new state of conscious intentional visioning all through your day. I encourage you to work in 50-minute spurts. Set a timer if you need to. Work for 50 minutes. See if you can focus yourself intently on whatever it is that you’re about to do. And at the end of 50 minutes, take at least 5 to 10 minutes to give yourself a little bit of a break. Get up and stretch. Walk around, maybe go outside, take some deep breaths, grab a glass of water, listen to some music, whatever it is that you need to do to give yourself a little bit of a rest and then to come back to your task feeling a little more refreshed.

And before you jump in for another 50 minutes, take a moment and review what you wrote to yourself – that letter from your future self talking about how great you felt after you accomplished all those things and get into that state of feeling. Get into that state of having already accomplished it so that now when you go back to actually doing it, it’s almost as though you’re reliving the memory of what it took in order to get there.

Try it for yourself

As I always tell people, don’t believe what I’m saying because I’m telling you. Try it for yourself and see what happens. I can almost guarantee you that you’ll accomplish a lot more than you thought you could just by starting with the end in mind, interrupting that pattern of autopilot so that you can be more conscious and intentional with your day.

A Simple Little Secret for Overcoming Inertia

Is there something you’ve been wanting to do that you just can’t get yourself to take action on?  You may dream and scheme and even have a plan for moving forward.  But for whatever reason you just haven’t been able to execute it.  Overcoming inertia is a common challenge, and it can keep you from living your dreams.  But it doesn’t have to.

You’re probably familiar with the law of inertia.  According to Merriam Webster, inertia is “…the inherent property of a body that makes it oppose a force that would cause a change in its motion. A body at rest and a body in motion both oppose forces that might cause acceleration.”

So, anytime you aspire to do something different, whether changing a habit or behavior, beginning a new endeavor, or creating anything – overcoming inertia is going to be a necessary and unavoidable part of the process.

It’s a powerful force.  Because it’ll lead you to believe that whatever you are about to do is going to be hard. And you may end up telling yourself stories that’ll keep you stuck.  You might convince yourself that whatever you are about to do is too complicated. Or that it’ll require too much work. Or that you don’t have the talent, energy, or wherewithal to endure it.

But what if the secret to overcoming inertia is to actually use the principle of inertia itself?

What if all you had to do to launch your new endeavor, habit, behavior, creation – or whatever you aspire to do – is just take some small action?

What if you don’t need to have it all figured out? …all your ducks in a row? …a multi-phase plan that maps every requirement, every step, and every contingency?

What if all you need to do is just START something?

Open a word doc and start writing.  Pick up the phone and make a call.  Go for a walk. Just get into action – and create new momentum – that is in alignment with whatever you ultimately want to accomplish.

If inertia is a force that leads us to continue doing what we’ve done before, by definition even the tiniest change in trajectory will begin to create a new force in a different direction.

Perhaps in this way, the smallest of actions can ultimately lead to the biggest of changes.

I experienced the power of this myself a few weeks ago, on a cold February day.  And on a whim, I filmed a little video to capture my epiphany…

FULL TRANSCRIPT

Hi, Diane Bolden, executive coach and author of “The Pinocchio Principle: Becoming a Real Leader.” And I just finished my morning ride. The thought hit me to shoot a video.

It’s cold here in Phoenix, which is crazy. I know. Wa, wa. But it was 35 degrees this morning, which is cold in Phoenix in February. And I did not want to get out of bed.  And I did not want to ride the exercise bike.  But I did it.

And I had an insight while I was riding that I wanted to share with you. What I realized is that it was hard to get on the bike because I was cold and I had to push through that resistance.

But now I’m warm. I’m actually kind of hot.

And I was thinking about how this is kind of like a metaphor for life… because whenever you start something new, you feel kind of cold.  And you don’t want to.  And there’s a lot of resistance.

[NOTE:  Starting something new requires overcoming inertia – the momentum of whatever you were doing before that may be keeping you from doing what you’d like to do next.  But… you can use the force of inertial to overcome inertia.]

And the more you give yourself to it – the more you allow yourself to kind of be in the game and push, (and I don’t mean push in a negative way, I just mean to get warm, to get your feet wet, to start something somewhere), what’s interesting is the environment doesn’t change…

It’s still very cold outside, and in here, but my body’s warmer and I have the ability to do things that I couldn’t do when I first woke up. And isn’t that just the same thing with life?

We start off and we’re cold. The environment doesn’t change, the circumstances don’t change. But if you allow yourself to get in the game and to get a little warm, and to move a little bit, you might find that you change.

And when you do, you’re capable of doing things you maybe didn’t think you could.

Ever Feel Like Work is a Chore?

 

A third of your time on the planet is spent at work.  Why would you do something that makes you feel… dead before your time?

So many of us feel like work is a chore, which Merriam Webster defines as “an unpleasant but necessary task”.  It gets lumped in there with all the other things we dread but make ourselves do anyway ­– washing dishes, picking up the dog (or cat) poop, taking out the trash.

It’s interesting that Webster’s definition of the word “work’ has a similar connotation: “a task or tasks to be undertaken; something a person has to do”.

So, you could argue that the words “work” and “chore” go hand in hand.  And if your previous experiences validate a belief that work is a chore the association will be even stronger.  So strong that it leads to a common expectation that work is a necessary evil, a thing to be endured, something laborious and heavy.

Neuroscientific research has shown us that it is often our expectations themselves that shape our experience of reality.  And that can keep you stuck in a perpetual loop of believing that work is a chore and a resulting experience that proves it to be true.

Over time, perpetual loops feel a lot like hamster wheels – you’ll expend a ton of energy, feel a lot of frustration, and not really get anywhere.

(And if you are a leader, you may be unintentionally setting that tone for your whole organization.)

But you can turn that all around and change your world for the better.  It doesn’t require a lobotomy.  And it doesn’t necessarily mean you need to quit your job.  This video will give you a glimpse of just how easy that simple shift could be.

 

 

If you want more on revitalizing your work from the inside out, consider enrolling in the spring session of The Pinocchio Principle Unleashed: The Real Leader’s Guide to Accessing the Freedom & Flow of Your Authentic Genius.  This exclusive 12-week leadership development program is now in its 7^th year, with over a hundred happy alumni.

Participants for this video-based, small group coaching program are carefully selected and capped at no more than ten.  Registration will open on February 15^th, and priority will be given to those on the waiting list.  For more information or to be considered for enrollment, go to www.UnleashtheExtraordinary.com.

The Way We’ve Been Working Isn’t Working Any More

 

Are you familiar with what’s being called The Great Resignation?  With resignations and job openings at an all time high, companies are competing to hire and retain top talent.  But much of that talent is feeling overwhelmed, overextended and burned out.

Because THE WAY WE’VE BEEN WORKING ISN’T WORKING ANY MORE.

We are at an unprecedented time with regard to work/life integration challenges.  Telecommuting allowed us more time at home, but for many it blurred the lines between our work and personal lives, skewing it toward work and leaving many feeling chewed up and spit out.

While it’s becoming clear we cannot go back to the way things were, we must find a way to chart a path that’ll get us where we really want to go – and redesign the way we work from the inside out.

There has never been a better opportunity for leaders to rise up and blaze a new trail.  But before they can lead others, they must first do it for themselves.  This video was created for those who feel compelled to answer that call.

Are you one of them?

Watch the video to find out, then visit www.UnleashtheExtraordinary.com for more details.

Does Your Work Life Need Resuscitating?

I have always been amazed by the number of people who think of work as a necessary evil — simply what must be done to earn a paycheck. For so many who toil through their workday, the primary goal is to make it to the weekend so they can really live.

Going through the motions, working day after day with others whose hearts and minds they seldom truly connect with, they withhold the very parts of themselves that make them come alive.

For some it wasn’t always this way. Many began their careers ignited with passion and optimism, only to find that their flames began to flicker as they encountered obstacle after obstacle that kept them from achieving what they believed would be success.

Succumbing to the unwritten rules of the organizations and other environments they found themselves in, which suggested they needed to act or think in a certain way to get ahead, they may have slowly sold out on their dreams and relegated themselves to quiet complacency.

Many of us were not brought up to expect that work would be fun or gratifying in any way – nor should it be. That’s why they call it work, you may have been told. As a result, you may have never really expected much from your career or professional life. And as the saying goes, life has a way of living up to your expectations.

Most of us have learned how to turn ourselves on and off at will, in an effort to spare ourselves the pain of disappointment or frustration — or to maintain what we have come to believe is a professional demeanor. It is not uncommon to hear people say that they are very different at work than they are at home.

Those golden parts of yourself that you think you are protecting suffer when you don’t let them breathe and interact in the very realms that allow you to learn who you are and what you are here to do in the world.

You miss the chance to become a part of something greater than yourself. And the organizations and communities you are a part of miss out on the unique contribution you have the potential to make.

You can no longer afford to fragment yourself in this way, denying the fulfillment of your secret dreams and talents and downplaying the insights you have about what you can do to make life better — for yourself, and everyone around you.

As more and more of us feel the pain that accompanies the denial of our spirits, we have begun to realize that the time has come for us to bring the totality of who we are to what we do, no matter our vocation, title or role.

There are people among us who have the ability to snap us out of our trances — our states of quiet desperation — and help us bring more of who we truly are to everything that we do.

They can do this for others because they have done it for themselves. They are called “real leaders”. And they exist at all levels of organizations, regardless of their titles or roles.

Real Leaders inspire others to perform at their very best,

because they themselves are inspired.

When was the last time you felt inspired in your work? When was the last time you had passion for your career? What is it that allows you to feel a sense of wonder and contribution to something bigger?

If you have lost touch with that, do yourself and everyone around you a favor and take some time to reconnect with it. You have something deep inside that you are uniquely qualified and put on this earth to create or do.

When you were young, the energy of your dreams likely propelled you along your path — sometimes blindly, but it gets you off your duff and into action.

You’ve likely experienced hardships along the way and it may have felt at times as though you were failing again and again. Life throws you curve balls and you can find yourself feeling beaten down and doing what you can to just get by, running from one crisis to another and sometimes going in circles.

At some point, you will be tempted to check out and take an easier path – one that allows you to go numb and somewhat unconscious. It may work for a while, but over time you’ll begin to feel the misery that comes along with abandoning your dreams and letting your passion take the back seat.

What would it take for you to get excited about what you are doing right now? What is the bigger why of the work you do every day?  Who does it serve, and how?

If you can’t answer that question, do some digging. When you can connect those dots to a bigger picture, you may find that what you thought was insignificant is quite meaningful – and a vital piece of a larger puzzle you are meant to help assemble.

As you recognize your part and the value you provide, perhaps you’ll be inspired to bring a little more of who you are to what you do by playing more fully, being more present, and connecting more deeply with those who rely on you.

Your passion is like a hidden well with unlimited reserves – tapping that well will allow it to grow exponentially. And as you unleash it in your work, you will draw out something extraordinary in every human being that comes into contact with it. That is the essence of real leadership.

We are beginning to awaken to our unique calls to service, creativity and innovation. As you find ways to unleash your distinctive talents and passions at work, you will significantly increase the quality of your own life, as well as the lives of everyone around you.

If you are interested in learning more about how to revitalize your life – both on and off the job, I encourage you to consider enrolling for the fall session of The Pinocchio Principle Unleashed: The Real Leader’s Guide to Accessing the Freedom & Flow of Your Authentic Genius, kicking off the week of April 18th.

This 13-week leadership development program is designed to help high achieving professionals bring out their very best performance in such a way that fills them up rather than depleting them – and allows them to make a bigger impact doing meaningful, inspiring work while leading others to do the same.

Enrollment is now open and will be limited to 9 people. To ensure the very best group dynamics, participants are hand selected after talking with Diane in a brief chemistry call to determine if the program is the right fit.  If you are interested in enrolling, click here to schedule your chemistry call.

The Art of Conscious Living and Why it is Essential to Leadership

Every once in awhile I treat myself to a massage.

It is especially enjoyable when my muscles are sore. I make a special effort to be as aware of every little sensation as I can – so that nothing escapes my perception. I want to completely immerse myself in the experience and enjoy every second of it.

And when I do this, I have often felt as though it might be possible to slow time down. While this is likely not possible, I do think being intensely present allows us to fill each second of our time with more awareness, more enjoyment and more of life’s sweetness than ever.

I contrast this to how I have felt at the end of a long day.

Faced with somewhat banal or unpleasant activities as being stuck in traffic, cleaning up after our pets, or getting a cavity filled, I’ve found that I can disengage altogether and occupy my mind with other things. And when I do, things seem to have a way of speeding up. The whole experience becomes distant and a bit blurred. I can drive all the way home and not be able to recall a single landmark I passed along the way.

Knowing I can slow down or speed up time for myself like this is interesting to me.

But what is even more intriguing – and somewhat unsettling – is the thought of how much of my life has been spent somewhere between these two extremes, on a kind of auto pilot. How many times when talking with a friend has my mind been somewhere else – reviewing my “to do” list, thinking of what I could cook for dinner, or even determining what I want to say next?

How many times when my kids came proudly marching into the house to show me their latest artwork did I half-heartedly glanced up from what I was doing and offer feigned enthusiasm? What I missed in those moments is something I can never get back.

I used to think it was vital to capture special times on film.

When my kids were young I was intent on capturing photos and video at the kids’ recitals, ball games, or during vacations and holiday dinners.  Then one day I realized I was so caught up in getting the perfect shots that I missed those precious moments altogether. And it’s never quite the same when you watch the replay.

So I started resisting the urge to reach for my camera.

Instead, I made it a point to simply immerse myself in whatever was going on. And I believe the quality of my memories has improved significantly – even if I don’t have a lot of photos or videos to show for it.

What if we lived more often with the presence of not wanting to miss a thing?

How much stronger would we connect with each other? How much more of our special moments together would we actually experience and enjoy? How much more trust could we inspire and cultivate? How much more joy could we create?

How many more problems would we solve with solutions that addressed those little things that previously escaped our awareness and came back to bite us? How much more of our very selves could we bring to everything we do and everyone we are with? And how much better the world would be because of it!

Perhaps as we become more aware of the degree to which we are really showing up, we can begin to gauge how much of our lives we are truly living.  And then we can consciously create – and enjoy – lives worth living for.

Conscious living is akin to engagement, a topic about which much has been written over the last several years. It is the lifeblood of not only enjoying our work and bringing our very best to it, but also to creating thriving organizational cultures that lead people to come alive, attract raving customers and allow people and organizations to stand out in the marketplace.

If you are interested in increasing your own level of engagement, presence and vitality (and learning how to help others do it too), consider joining me in the spring session of The Pinocchio Principle Unleashed: The Real Leader’s Guide to Accessing the Freedom & Flow of Your Authentic Genius.  

This 13-week leadership development program is designed to help high achieving professionals bring out their very best performance in such a way that fills them up rather than depleting them – and allows them to make a bigger impact doing meaningful, inspiring work while leading others to do the same. 

The program will kick off in late April and go through early June. Registration has opened for those on the waiting list and will soon be available to a wider audience.  Enrollment is limited to 9 people.  To ensure the very best group dynamics, I now personally select participants after talking with them in a brief (20-30 minute) chemistry call to determine whether the program is the right fit.

If you are interested in joining the spring session, you can click here to schedule your chemistry call.

How to (Finally) Get Your Most Important Work Done

Is there something vital that you’ve been meaning to get to that seems just out of reach? A juicy project, initiative or undertaking that you’re passionate about – that could potentially make a big impact on your career, in your organization, or simply on another human being?

If you’re like most people, the answer is yes. We all tend to have something relatively important we’ve been putting off – for lack of time, energy, focus (or a combination of all three). Sometimes it keeps slipping because other people’s projects and requests tend to take priority.

But more often than not, these critical tasks and projects are in a perpetual state of incompletion because we simply have not gotten serious about carving out time (and energy) to do them. They tend to have a few things in common:

• They require you to think creatively – to bring into form something that did not previously exist or to solve a problem that doesn’t have easy answers.
• It seems the time it will take to do them is greater than the time you have available.
• The thought of jumping in makes you mildly uncomfortable, leading you to be all too inclined to put other things ahead of them.

I know, because the article you are now reading fell into that category for me. So, in effect I wrote this as much for my own benefit as yours.

Below are three simple tips to help you get off the dime and get those essential projects rolling.

(1) Make the decision to stop talking/thinking/planning and start DOING.

The word decision derives from the Latin “decidere”, which literally means “to cut off,” from de- “off” + ceadere “to cut”. Making a decision means cutting yourself off from other options. In the words of Mr. Miyagi from The Karate Kid, “There is no try, only do.”

Sometimes you can kick start yourself by using this logic in reverse. What if the option you cut yourself off from was the completion of this important task/project/initiative? What would be the impact on your life if you did not do it? How would you feel? And what would the effect be on others?

If you were to flash forward another week/month/year/decade, and you still hadn’t done this thing that has likely been gently (or not so gently) nudging you forward, would you be okay with that?

Conversely, what is there to gain by going all in? How would you benefit? How will the work you are on the verge of doing enrich the lives of others or make a difference in a way that matters? Flash forward and imagine that you have completed it. How would you feel? And what kind of impact would it have on the world around you?

William James once said, “Nothing is so fatiguing as the eternal hanging on of an uncompleted task.” Sometimes the very incompletion of a task that has meaning and significance for us is more exhausting than the energy required to actually do it. So, make the decision today to cut yourself off from other options and move into action.

This leads us to the next tip.

(2) Block time and hold it sacred.

Now that you’ve made the decision to get that precious piece of work done, you must dedicate time to do it. Contrary to what you may believe, you don’t necessarily need to have large, uninterrupted chunks of time to make progress. Even the smallest of actions you can take will begin creating momentum that will move you closer to your finish line.

Break bigger projects into smaller milestones and get into the practice of using whatever time you have to take action toward your goals. Challenge your assumptions on how long things will take to get done. Interrupt that chatter in your head that has you believing you don’t have time to make a dent in something by simply moving into action in spite of it. Just get started.

Reserve larger chunks of time by scheduling meetings with yourself. Consider sending yourself a meeting notice, complete with a subject line and an agenda that spells out your objectives in the body of the message. This will serve to direct your attention and focus to what you have the power to accomplish in the time you have reserved.

Regard these meetings you schedule with yourself the same way you would a meeting with a client or your boss. If despite your best efforts, something else must be scheduled in its place, don’t just delete it from your calendar. Find an alternative date and time in the same way you would another appointment that you are committed to.

If upon looking at your calendar it seems there is simply no time available, challenge yourself to use the discernment necessary to create it. What can you delegate, defer or dump? How can you simplify the things that may not require as much time as you thought they would? What things are you involved in that in the scheme of things really aren’t true priorities?

Now that you have allocated time to work on those precious projects, let’s talk about how you can create the kind of space you’ll need to make good progress on them.

(3) Maximize your FOCUS and PRODUCTIVITY.

During the time you have set aside to do that important work that has previously eluded you, it is likely there will be a multitude of things competing for your attention.  We are conditioned to believe that taking time for ourselves is indulgent. But in many cases, it is the most generous thing you can do because it allows you to engage in the kind of work that is of greatest service to others.

Despite that fact, many of us are all too quick to defer those projects that bring us the greatest joy to meet the urgent requests of someone or something that is demanding our attention.

Sometimes that is an actual person standing in front of us, but often it is the little ding that tells us an email has landed in our inbox, or the ring of the phone that we are conditioned to answer without even thinking, or the lure of social media or internet surfing that sucks up immeasurable amounts of time that we’ll never get back.

So, it is essential to consciously and intentionally eliminate distractions and create the kind of setting that is most conducive to enhancing your focus and productivity. Close your Outlook or Gmail and your browsers as well. Make the decision not to answer the phone.

Shut your door (if you have one) and/or communicate with others to manage their expectations about when you will become available. If you have the option, you may even consider going to a remote location like a coffee shop or restaurant where you are less likely to be disturbed.

Notice what environment leads you to find your zone of productivity. Some prefer a completely quiet space, while others enjoy ambient sounds around them. Some like music in the background or the sound of water.

Set a timer and designate anywhere from thirty to fifty minutes to do a “sprint” of work followed by a five to ten minute break that allows you to relax, take some deep breaths, move your body, get a drink of water and/or rest your eyes. Research shows this practice will dramatically increase your productivity (and I have validated that through my own experience as well.)

One of my favorite apps is Focus at Will, which offers a variety of background music and sounds that are designed to keep your brain at the right focus level by increasing beta and theta brainwave activity. The program allows you to set a timer, at which point the background sound will stop signaling time for a break.

A few words on why your most important work shouldn’t wait another minute…

We are all conditioned to move so fast from one thing to another checking boxes that it becomes all too easy to sacrifice the strategic in favor of the operational. Those juicy projects and creative visions that beckon to us in our quiet moments are vital not only to our sanity and sense of meaning and purpose, but also to the very future of our organizations and the lives of the people they serve.

The most extraordinary leaders (at all levels of both small and large organizations) heed these calls to break out of business as usual by tending to work that has real significance.  In so doing, they experience the rich rewards of fulfilling work that makes a bigger, more sustainable impact in the world.

If you would like to learn how to break out of business as usual to do YOUR best work – in a way that fills you up AND allows you to move the needle, consider joining me in the spring session of The Pinocchio Principle Unleashed: The Real Leader’s Guide to Accessing the Freedom & Flow of Your Authentic Genius. This exclusive 13-week leadership development experience goes beneath the surface of what most programs deliver, to help you learn to unleash genius in yourself and those you lead.

The program will kick off in late April and go through mid-July. Enrollment will be limited to eight participants.  Join the waiting list to have access to registration before it opens to the public.

Why Believing Is Seeing – Regardless Of Proof

One day when my kids were younger, they had a play date with some friends. I heard one of them telling the other that Santa Claus wasn’t real. My son, who was eight years old at the time, vehemently defended the jolly old man, with elaborate explanations of why something not easily proven was worth believing in anyway.

It reminded me of my own childhood.

I had to laugh, as I flashed back to one of my own experiences with a little girl in my neighborhood who made fun of me for believing that a fat man in a red coat actually came down my chimney every year. I was so mad that, when she wasn’t looking, I broke all her crayons and put them back in the box (and spent the rest of the holiday season worrying that I had just put myself on the naughty list).

I have since learned that it is okay if everyone doesn’t believe what I do.

And if he hasn’t already, my son will learn that too. But he is the one who taught me something that day. I was buoyed by his unwavering belief and faith in something he’s never really seen and inspired by his example.

I can’t help but believe that those who trust in something magical will experience that magic in ways the skeptics will not. And I think the same is true in life.

There will always be someone around to tell us what cannot be done.

And there will also always be people who, upon being so told, will do it anyway. Their faith, determination, and belief in something they have yet to see will allow them to persevere until their dreams become reality.

One of my favorite authors on personal and spiritual growth, Alan Cohen, once said “You do not need to get others to believe in your truth. You just need to live it.”

Trust, faith, and perseverance go a long way.

In a world where much is uncertain and the old success formulas no longer seem to work, I believe it is more important than ever to trust in what we know to be true in our hearts, even if our minds cannot figure it all out. It may go against what we have been conditioned to believe, see, and do – but perhaps this makes it even more important.

To bust out of old paradigms that keep us from realizing our greatness, perhaps we need to stop questioning what is possible and start challenging our limits instead. As we do, we will begin to make manifest that which we previously only dreamed was possible and, through our example, show others the way to rise.

Wishing you the happiest of holidays and a bright blessed New Year!

 

If you want to enjoy more meaning and fulfillment along with stellar results all year round (both at work and at home),  The Pinocchio Principle Unleashed:  The Real Leader’s Guide to Accessing the Freedom & Flow of Your Authentic Genius can help you achieve it.

This exclusive 13-week leadership development experience goes beneath the surface of what most programs deliver, to help you learn to unleash genius in yourself and those you lead.

The Spring 2022 session will kick off in April.  Enrollment will be limited to eight participants.  Join the waiting list to have access to registration before it opens to the public.

Wishing you and yours a beautiful and blessed holiday!

 

 

 

 

 

How to Create Moments of Meaning (Even in the Midst of Mania)

“You ready for the holidays?”

It’s a question people often ask each other this time of year. I don’t know if I’m ever ready – from the standpoint of having all the boxes checked, anyway.

I know there are people out there – you may be one of them – who finished their holiday shopping weeks ago, had their houses beautifully decorated on or before Thanksgiving day, and seem to find the time to send handmade cards to everyone they know. I have secretly dreamt of being one of those people, and maybe someday I will be.

I tend to identify more with those still scurrying around at the last minute. You know, the ones dashing to the mall on Christmas eve for that one last present they forgot about and return home to feverishly wrap gifts before people come over – all the while swearing that next year will be different.

What I really long for is to simply enjoy every aspect of the holidays.

It is a season of giving, sharing, and celebrating something bigger than ourselves. It brings us together and transforms our everyday lives into something sacred.

And this opportunity is always available to us.

With every gift we buy or wrap, every card we send, or every decoration we hang, we have the ability to infuse it with presence – our ability to be truly engaged not only with whatever it is we are doing, but with the bigger reason of WHY we are doing it – even if we get a late start.

Perhaps the ideal is not in being able to do more things sooner, but to put more of ourselves into the things we are able to do now despite whatever circumstances we find ourselves in.

When people pour their hearts into whatever they are doing, you can feel it. 

The cards that arrive in our mailbox that have been perfunctorily generated don’t seem to move us as much as those people have taken the time to hand write something on – even if it is just our name. Likewise, the gifts that had some element of thought in them often end up meaning more to us than those someone spent a lot of money on. The true spirit of giving is more about the spirit than the gift itself.

And the spirit of giving and celebration doesn’t have to end in December.

We have the ability to enrich every moment of our lives with it. Albert Camus once said, “Real generosity toward the future lies in giving all to the present.” That means forgetting about all our preoccupations and busyness and being right here, right now – truly engaged in the purpose of whatever it is we are doing and deeply connected to whoever we are with.

In business and in life, this practice separates the most truly prosperous and successful people from all the rest. They have a knack for making others feel valued and for infusing meaning into whatever it is they do or invite others to do. They spend their time doing what is most important and pour their hearts and souls into it. As a result, they are living examples of whatever they believe most strongly in.

Perhaps this is the true art of giving, living, and leading – one that transcends holidays and spills over into our everyday lives.

And maybe it’s never too late to start.

If you want to enjoy more meaning and fulfillment along with stellar results all year round (both at work and at home),  The Pinocchio Principle Unleashed:  The Real Leader’s Guide to Accessing the Freedom & Flow of Your Authentic Genius can help you achieve it.

This exclusive 13-week leadership development experience goes beneath the surface of what most programs deliver, to help you learn to unleash genius in yourself and those you lead.

The Spring 2022 session will kick off in March.  Enrollment will be limited to eight participants.  Join the waiting list to have access to registration before it opens to the public.

Wishing you and yours a beautiful and blessed holiday season!

 

 

 

How to Leverage the Power of Gratitude in Your Career

The Thanksgiving season naturally lends itself to recognizing what we have to be grateful for. Health, family, friends, and prosperity are among the most commonly cited blessings. What comes most easily to mind are the warm, fuzzy areas of our lives that naturally lend themselves to feelings of appreciation.

But the power of gratitude reaches far beyond those things that bring immediate smiles to our faces.

And leveraging this power requires that we embrace not only the happy times but also the tougher experiences we’ve had that we would often rather forget about. Because the most challenging times in our lives and our careers are often accompanied by some of the richest blessings.

• That proposal that you worked day and night on but ended up going nowhere.
• The difficult customer/coworker/boss/direct report that continually pushed all your buttons.
• The presentation you made that didn’t have the impact you would have liked.
• The restructuring in your division that took you to the edges of your comfort zone and required you to navigate through uncertainty that was as unfamiliar as it was unsettling.

These things that push us to our edges come bearing gifts.

And we tend to move so quickly that we fail to pause long enough to unpack those blessings and truly integrate them. But when we do, we often realize in hindsight that these less than ideal circumstances allow us to grow, to become stronger, to more resilient, more compassionate, more insightful, more wise.

The circumstances themselves pass, but the gifts remain.

Cultivating this deeper level of gratitude allows us to contemplate the idea that perhaps life isn’t happening to us, but rather for us. These challenges that test our patience, push us to our edges, and appear to be nothing more than irritating obstacles are often the very things we need in order to become the best versions of ourselves.

It’s easier to see the perfect order of things in retrospect.

Can you think of a challenge you faced in the recent (or not so recent) past that stretched your limits? Consider for a moment what you learned as a result of that experience. What did the experience itself require that you activate within yourself to successfully move through it? And how did it make you a better leader? A stronger performer? A wiser and more compassionate person?

The reason these insights come to us in hindsight is that our thinking settles.

When we are not so frazzled and pressured by the need for an immediate response, or plagued by worried and doubt, the static that prevented us from seeing and appreciating the deeper purpose and significance subsides. And there is space for gratitude to emerge.

Gratitude, yes for all the things that are going well in our lives – our health, the precious people in our lives, our prosperity – but also gratitude for the experiences that allow us to see who we really are when our backs are to the wall, to step up and into our true potential, to realize ourselves to be much stronger and more capable than we thought we were.

What if you could leverage the power of hindsight in the present?

What if you could learn to look beyond the tangle of thoughts that may have you in a knot as you approach a current or emerging challenge – with the knowing that this unsettling, less than optimal situation also comes bearing gifts and blessings?

What if instead of focusing on the uncertainty of the situation and the external circumstances you could turn your attention to the knowing that you have what it takes to rise up to this and any other challenge? All you have to do is look to your past for evidence that it is there.

If you take it a step further, you can become grateful for the situations and circumstances you previously wished would go away.   Because you know that along with the struggle, they provide you with gateways that invite you to discover and unearth who you really are. This approach allows you to face your challenges with curiosity, playfulness and grace – mindsets that catalyze insight, creativity, and the resilience you need to find your way and emerge victorious.

Now that’s something to be grateful for.

Using the wisdom of hindsight in the present is just one approach I teach in  The Pinocchio Principle Unleashed: The Real Leader’s Guide to Accessing the Freedom & Flow of Your Authentic Genius  to help high achieving executives appreciate and leverage the perfect order of their most challenging experiences to unleash their greatness.

The Spring 2022 session will kick off in March.  Enrollment will be limited to eight participants and offered to those on the waiting list before registration opens to the public.