Unhatched

This week’s video post is a short and rather candid one.  It was a Wednesday morning and my coach/videographer  and I were preparing for a day of shooting videos.  I was telling her about something that was bothering me and the fear that it brought about —and before I knew it, she hit the record button.

Since the topic of our conversation was the butterfly habitat that I have been blogging about for the last couple of weeks (see On the Verge of Transformation and On the Brink of Change), I thought perhaps it was fitting to go ahead and post this one too.  Maybe it’ll strike a chord with you.

Here’s what I said in the video:

One thing that bothered me this week is the butterfly cocoon (chrysalis) that had yet to hatch never hatched.  And I realized  it’s not going to hatch.  So I took it out to the garden and laid it there.

I didn’t realize how much it bothered me until one day I was running and all of a sudden this ball of emotion came out and I realized that what I am most afraid of is being the caterpillar in the cocoon that dies in the cocoon and never emerges — that has undergone a transformation but kept it so hidden that the world never gets to see that.

I feel all of this energy coming inside of me that I think is a result of taking the downtime and asking the questions, and working through my demons – and getting some clarity on needing to be a voice and needing to really help people and get out there and talk about this stuff that everyone is going through, but nobody seems to want to admit.

There’s part of it that’s guilt, like I don’t feel like I’m doing enough.  And I was gripped by this intense moment of sadness that if I deny this call, I’m going to end up like that butterfly in the cocoon that never hatched. And, I think that would be the saddest thing in the world and so that was my prayer that day – “God please don’t let me die in the cocoon”.

For more on change and transformation:

The Pinocchio Principle: Becoming the Leader You Were Born to Be (book) 

Busting Out of the Box (workshop)

On the Brink of Change 

On the Verge of Transformation

Taking Your Leap, Part I & Part II

Bridging the Gap Between No More and Not Yet

Are You at a Crossroads?

Confused mind picture by ktsdesign from  Bigstock Photo.

On the Brink of Change

Are you at your wits end in your job, career, relationship, life in general? Experiencing delays, frustration, confusion, and even a little fear? Well, you might be closer to achieving something amazing than you think.

My last post, On the Verge of Transformation, featured an interview with a caterpillar.  The above video continues the play by play in the life of a caterpillar, only this time from the inside of the cocoon (or chrysalis, if you want to be technically correct). I hope you enjoy it!

Here’s what I said in the video:

My daughter has this butterfly pavilion that we’ve been raising butterflies in. It’s been days since all the other chrysalises hatched.  In fact, we let nine butterflies go out in the garden the other day.  But there’s one that’s still in there, in its cocoon.  We look at it every day hoping that we’ll catch it as its just emerging and it’s still in there.

I know it’s not dead because when I push on the side of the habitat, the chrysalis shakes gently, which is something that I learned they do to ward off predators. And, I can’t help but think how often we feel this way:  we’re in this cocoon, there’s all kinds of change that’s happening, we’re not really sure which direction is up, and we’re the last one. For some of us, it takes longer than others.

If you’re feeling like you’re stuck in the cocoon, I think it’s probably very uncommon.  And uncomfortable.

I read a story about a man who actually saw a butterfly trying to get out of the cocoon and used scissors to try to gently help the butterfly out. The butterfly fell out of the cocoon and it’s body was small and shriveled.  It just kind of stumbled around on the ground and was finally just still.

What this man learned later was that to get out of the cocoon, the butterfly has to encounter the resistance. In the act of bumping up and busting out of the cocoon, the butterfly’s body fills up with fluid that it needs in order to spread its wings and be free and to turn into the beautiful creature that it is.

It’s such a great reminder to us that just when we feel things are at their darkest, and everything’s closing in and you just can’t take another minute of it — maybe that’s when we’re the closest to actually being ready to bust out. And maybe instead of thinking of all the resistance as overwhelming and exhausting, we can think of it as that final push we need to give in order to just break through into something wonderful that’s just been waiting for us.

For more on change and transformation:

The Pinocchio Principle: Becoming the Leader You Were Born to Be (book) 

Busting Out of the Box (workshop)

 On the Verge of Transformation

Taking Your Leap, Part I & Part II

Bridging the Gap Between No More and Not Yet

Are You at a Crossroads?

Crazy businessman picture by Stephane Durocher from Dreamstime.

On the Verge of Transformation

Do you ever feel like you are in the middle of some kind of transformation, but not yet clear on exactly where you are going and what form things are going to take?  Speaking from my own experience, it can be a bit unnerving when you are in the thick of it.  You may feel as though you’ll never find your way through.

They say it helps to find inspiration from those who have gone before you.  On that note, the above video, On the Verge of Transformation, features an interview with a caterpillar.  I hope you enjoy it.

Here is what I said in the video:

These live caterpillars came in the mail the other day.  My daughter is going to start a butterfly habitat.  And when they arrived they were really little — teeny, tiny things.  Just a couple of days ago, they started climbing up to the top.  You might be able to see, they are starting to hang from the lid.

And I found myself staring at these guys the other day as they were still caterpillars crawling around, wondering if they had any idea what is going to happen to them — that their whole life as they know it is going to end — and if they felt fear.  And I wonder, if I could interview a little caterpillar, what would it tell me if I said,

“Hey, do you have any fear about what’s going to happen to you?”

He’d probably look at me and say “Why would I have fear?”

“Because everything you know is about to end.”

And he’d probably say, “Says who?”

And if I said, “But you have no idea what’s going to happen!”

And he could say, “Neither do you.”

And look, they are totally surrendered.  If ever there was a position of surrender, it would be hanging upside down while your entire body dissolves into mucus and nothingness and is completely reconstituted — and then to have to find your way out of the chrysalis all on your own.  And yet, they do it all the time.  It’s part of nature.  And they have no fear.

The thought occurred to me that we are always going through our process all the time too.  And we get scared, because we have stories about all the things we are going to lose and all the stuff we are going to suffer at.  Yet, maybe we can take a cue from the caterpillar.  Maybe I can have a little bit of comfort and faith in knowing that just totally surrendering to the process could result in something fantastic and beyond anything I ever could have imagined.

For more on change and transformation:

The Pinocchio Principle: Becoming the Leader You Were Born to Be (book) 

Busting Out of the Box (workshop)

Taking Your Leap, Part I & Part II

Bridging the Gap Between No More and Not Yet

Are You at a Crossroads?

Photo by Colin Stitt from Dreamstime.