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How to Cross the Brink of Change
Are you at your wits end in your job, career, relationship, life in general? Experiencing delays, frustration, confusion, and even a little fear? Well, you might be closer to achieving something amazing than you think.
This week’s video post continues the play by play in the life of a caterpillar that I started on last week’s post, only this time from the inside of the cocoon (or chrysalis, if you want to be technically correct). I hope you enjoy it!
What the caterpillar calls the end of the world the master calls a butterfly.
– Richard Bach
How to Survive and Thrive in Change and Chaos
We have all experienced times of pressure, anxiety and sudden change.
When jobs are tenuous or organizations are restructuring, it might feel as though life itself is turning upside down. Frustration and turmoil is a common response to this kind of uncertainty and disorientation. It can lead to exhaustion and hopelessness. But consider this as you think about the things in your life and career that may feel as though they are spinning out of control…
What if the only thing standing in your way of perfect peace, true productivity and the satisfaction of living a life of purpose – was your thinking?
I know it may feel as though you are at the mercy of your circumstances. However, even in the worst of situations you have more control than you might realize. One of the key attributes embodied by extraordinary leaders in all walks of life is encapsulated in the word “responsibility” – not just in a moral or ethical sense of being accountable for our actions, but also – and perhaps just as essential in times of change and chaos – remembering that there is wisdom in recognizing that we have the ability to choose our response. And that the response we choose will have a resounding impact on ourselves and everyone around us.
Start with awareness.
The greatest change agents start by recognizing what they have to work with before they can create change that will be sustained. They assess their environment to determine what the best entry point for that change is before they make their move. They don’t waste their time worrying about things that are truly out of their control, like changing the weather. Instead, they focus their attention and energy on those things that they do have the ability to influence and start there.
Extraordinary leaders know that the most powerful and sustainable change must start from within themselves.
Watch your stories.
The thing that fascinates me about a seemingly chaotic state of affairs is not so much what is happening, but the stories we are telling ourselves about what it means — and the impact those stories are having on the way we are responding to it. When we react to things with fear, we end up amplifying that which we are afraid of and adding to the anxiety. Our fears drive us to act in ways that keep us from acting on our intuition and finding the answers that will truly serve us. Sometimes, we end up behaving in ways that make our fictional stories become real.
As an example, when you tell yourself a story about what is happening that leaves you feeling threatened, you may find yourself closing up and treating others with suspicion and mistrust. The way you are behaving toward people may well provoke a response in them that appears to validate your fearful story. However, in this scenario, it is very likely that their behavior is more of a reaction to the actions your story led you to take than anything else.
Our fearful stories are like the viruses we protect our computers from.
These nasty viruses are often embedded in emails that pique our curiosity or rouse our fear. When we unwittingly activate them, they spread often uncontrollably and we risk passing them to the computer of our friends, associates and countless others. The viruses corrupt our systems until they no longer function effectively. Like computer viruses, our stories have a way of spinning us out of control and interfering with our ability to rise up to our challenges to find the opportunity that is always there waiting for us to discover and leverage it.
Our rational minds want answers and security.
They need to figure everything out and almost automatically occupy themselves with trying to sort through data to arrive at conclusions. The problem is that our minds are plugging imaginary variables into the equation that end up further exacerbating the anxiety we are already experiencing. When they are done with one variable, they plug in another and the churning continues, leaving us with an uneasiness that keeps us on edge.
What’s the worst that can happen?
In the grip of this madness, sometimes the best thing you can do is indulge your mind with a variable that will allow it to do its thing. Go ahead and plug in the worst case scenario. If the worst possible thing happened, what would you do? Alloy yourself to sit with that question for awhile. Let the fear move through you and keep asking the question, what would I do that would allow everything to be OK? If you sit long enough with your question, you will arrive at some workable alternatives and reconnect with that part of yourself that is strong, resourceful and resilient.
Armed with the knowledge that you will be OK in the worst of scenarios, you can come back into the present and recognize your fearful thoughts for what they are – fearful thoughts. One of the best pieces of advice I ever got, which I pass along frequently is don’t believe everything you think.
You have everything you need.
In the present moment, devoid of your stories about variables that are truly unknown, you are OK. And when new events begin to unfold, if you stay in the moment and access your inner wisdom, you will know exactly what you need to do – or not to do – to be OK then too. And as you go about your daily life in this way, your calm resolve will permeate your interactions with others and through your example, you will help others to rise up to their challenges in ways that unearth the greatness in themselves as well.
For more tips on navigating through change and uncertainty, check out my book, The Pinocchio Principle ~ Becoming a Real Leader, available on Amazon.com and BarnesandNoble.com.
How to Navigate Sudden Change
Ever notice that just when you get comfortable, life has a way of shaking things up? Some people seem to enjoy change more than others. Most of us prefer to be the ones doing the changing – it brings newness along with a sense of control – we are at the helms, steadfastly steering our ships. But imagine if you will, that a massive wave summoned by a hurricane has ripped the captain’s wheel right off the ship and you are left clinging to something that no longer has any power. The tighter you grip it, the less energy you have to deal with your circumstances in a way that will truly serve you (and everyone around you as well).
At times like these, we often pray for the storm to pass – for things to revert back to the way they were – or for a specific course of events that we believe would be life’s perfect solution. These solutions are based on what we think we know – which is largely a product of what we have already seen and experienced. And relying upon the patterns and strategies that worked for us in the past is often inadequate for our present and emerging challenges.
The world is changing and so are we.
We tend to strive for comfort and familiarity, even when what’s comfortable isn’t necessarily effective or even satisfying anymore. We wish and pray that the chaos be removed and order be restored. But often life’s little disturbances are exactly what we need to reach our true potential and escape complacency. Perhaps as Eckhardt Tolle wrote in The Power of Now, “…what’s appears to be in the way IS the way.”
Stormy seas (and life’s sudden surprises) have a way of testing our resolve and our resiliency. Pressure brings out our extremes – for better or worse. And fear does funny things to people. At its worst, it produces panic – a physical state that literally disables the brain’s ability to think clearly. At one extreme a person is frozen by fear and at the other he will thrash about like a drowning victim who pulls his rescuers under the water with him. The key to surviving a seeming assault of this kind is learning to relax and stay calmly aware of our surroundings so that we can identify and creatively utilize the resources at our disposal.
One of the most critical resources in our control when all else seems beyond it is our perspective.
The way in which we view things determines the story we tell ourselves about what’s happening, which directly influences the responses we will have. If we believe we are helpless victims at the mercy of something that seeks to destroy us, we will become bitter, resentful and apathetic. In this state our true power remains dormant. We collude with our view of reality to create a condition that validates our doomsday stories and sink even deeper into the abyss. Those who try to rescue us from our self imposed paralysis risk being dragged beneath the current created by our own negativity.
If, however, we view our predicaments as adventures and see them as opportunities to give things all we’ve got, we reach deeply within ourselves and tap reserves of courage, wisdom and ingenuity we never realized we had. In the proverbial belly of the whale we find our inner grit and creatively rise up to life’s challenges in ways that transform us and everyone around us as well. We become the heroes of our own stories.
Regardless of who you are and what you do, there will come a time when the plateau you have been walking upon takes a steep turn in one direction or the other and you will be required to do something that stretches you beyond your usual way of doing things.
Perhaps it will be in your career. The work that fulfilled you at one point in your life may no longer be enough. You might find yourself doing something very well but suddenly devoid of the gusto you once did it with. It could be the company you keep – people who at one time shared your interests and passions but who you suddenly find yourself no longer wanting to spend a lot of time with. Maybe it will be your lifestyle. The objects and material possessions you that once gave you joy could one day feel more like clutter or distractions. These things become like shells that the hermit crab has outgrown. The crab must release its previous home and step bravely and vulnerably into the unknown in order to find something more spacious.
The quest for a new shell and even the new shell itself may feel daunting, clumsy and overwhelming. But the act of letting go of the old to make room for the new allows us to evolve and realize our true potential. Anything less will ultimately become imprisoning. When we allow ourselves room to grow, life’s little and big disturbances are not so daunting. We know there is more to us than meets the eye and finally step into our own greatness. And as we do this for ourselves, we model the way for others to do the same.
For more tips on navigating through change and uncertainty, check out my book, The Pinocchio Principle ~ Becoming a Real Leader, available on Amazon.com and BarnesandNoble.com.
Making Your Change Stick
Have you ever bought a piece of exercise equipment that ultimately became a place to hang your laundry? How about fresh vegetables that rotted at the bottom of your refrigerator while you ended up consuming fast food instead? Do you have any “how to” or personal/professional development books on your shelves that you never actually finished (or read at all)?
Sadly, I can answer yes to all of these questions. I also own more cookbooks than many gourmet chefs do – most of which have unfortunately never seen the light of my kitchen. It’s a mysterious phenomenon. I buy all of these things with good intentions, and it feels good to purchase them, as though I am one step closer to achieving some kind of goal for myself. But somewhere in the execution stage, things often go awry (or never go at all).
This is not unlike what many of my clients experience when they are in the midst of trying to make a change. They know what they want, and in some cases have read articles and books or attended classes to learn step by step processes – and even made some progress. But for whatever reason they often find themselves falling back into old patterns that keep them from achieving the success they seek.
Perhaps it is a leader in the midst of trying to be more strategic that gets sucked into doing operational tasks that should really be delegated to others. Or someone working on channeling his passion and energy into influencing people by inspiring them gets frustrated and ends up relying on his authority (or his temper) to get what he wants.
Whatever the change that people seek, they are bound to experience resistance and frustration in the midst of transitioning from an old pattern into a more productive, constructive and effective one.
The good news, I always tell people, is that if you are frustrated that you have been unable to make progress, you have actually made more progress than you realize.
At the very least, you have recognized that your current behavior is simply not working for you anymore, and are immersed in feeling the negative impact that behavior is having on your effectiveness. Without experiencing the pain of a behavior we want to change, there is very little likelihood that we will be motivated to do what it takes to get where we want to go.
And the first step to making any kind of change is to become aware of the patterns and habits we are currently falling into, so that we can interrupt the knee jerk reaction that compels us to keep engaging in them.
You see, the part of self improvement that most people are accustomed to is that which entails learning a new skill. As Abraham Maslow pointed out many years ago, we start out in a phase of unconscious incompetence, where we don’t even know what we don’t know.
In this phase, we may believe the change we want to make should be easier than not. My preteen kids, for instance, believe they can drive cars because they do it all the time in their video games.
The second learning stage we reach is conscious incompetence, where we realize how very little we actually do know – which is what will happen the first time my children actually get behind the wheel of a real car (just like it did for me so many years ago).
This is a painful and often humiliating phase that makes reverting back to the habits and patterns we do know – but are trying to move away from – all the more enticing.
The third learning stage is conscious competence, where we begin to achieve success in learning and executing a new skill – but we have to work at it, sometimes peeking at our notes to remember what to do next and/or how to do it correctly.
I remember that when I learned how to drive a stick shift, I initially had to tape a diagram onto the dashboard that reminded me where each gear was, and make each shift with deliberate and focused intention.
The fourth stage is unconscious competence, where we know something so well, we no longer need to think about it much – which is where most people are when they attempt to text, talk on the phone, eat and do all kinds of other crazy things while they are driving.
We get to the place where the thing we are doing comes so naturally , we may even feel as though we could do it in our sleep.
While this four stage learning process is often acknowledged as being vital to learning new things, we often overlook the fact that making a change also requires us to unlearn old things.
In other words, the behavior most people are trying to change is so engrained that they are at the stage of unconscious competence with it: it kicks in without them even realizing it – because to a large degree it is on automatic pilot.
Until we learn to dismantle the old behaviors, the impulses and conditioned actions will always threaten to override our deliberate efforts at implementing something new – especially if it flies in the face of what we did before.
Q. So how do you dismantle old behavior?
A. You have to start at the phase the old behavior is at (unconscious competence) and move backwards.
Before we can make the change we seek, we have to become aware of the degree to which the old behavior kicks in without us even realizing it. And once we realize it, we have successfully moved down the ladder from unconscious competence to conscious competence – where we are doing what we are doing, but with awareness.
This is exactly the phase people are at when they feel consumed with frustration at not being able to make the change they seek. They have begun to realize just how strong their impulse to do what they’ve always done is and how often it kicks in.
Combine this with the frustration people experience at the stage of conscious incompetence while becoming proficient with a new behavior – where they are painfully aware of just how much they don’t know – and it’s no wonder people have such difficulty making lasting change.
But the intersection between conscious competence with an old behavior, and conscious incompetence with a new behavior is the very threshold at which change happens. If we can just stick with it long enough and continue to pay attention, we can catch ourselves in the midst of engaging in an old behavior and interrupt the pattern.
The more often we do this, the better we get at it – and eventually we can move the old behavior from conscious competence to conscious incompetence – where we are deliberately choosing not to engage in it anymore. At the same time, we can move up the ladder with our new behavior – from conscious incompetence to conscious competence – the stage at which we achieve some success with applying what we are learning.
The bottom line is that change is hard. And it takes time. We need to give ourselves credit for showing up and keep on plugging away. Thomas Edison once said, “Many of life’s failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up.”
I like to tell a story in my workshops that illustrates the process of making a change. You may have heard it before:
A guy walks down a street and falls into a hole. He is not happy about it and feels like a victim.
The next day, he walks down the same street and falls into the hole again. He is frustrated with himself, because he knew better.
On the third day, he walks down that street, begins to fall into the hole again, catches himself, and manages to avoid it.
On the fourth day, he walks down the street, sees the hole and consciously steps around it.
On the fifth day, he walks down another street.
Will Rogers once said, “If you find yourself in a hole, stop digging.” I would echo his advice and add – become aware of the fact that YOU are holding the shovel. Use it to get yourself out of the hole. And before too long, you will learn to take another street.
The above article contains excerpts from my book, The Pinocchio Principle: Becoming the Leader You Were Born to Be, available on Amazon.com and BarnesandNoble.com.
Navigating Sudden Change
Ever notice that just when you get comfortable, life has a way of shaking things up? Some people seem to enjoy change more than others. Most of us prefer to be the ones doing the changing – it brings newness along with a sense of control – we are at the helms, steadfastly steering our ships. But imagine if you will, that a massive wave summoned by a hurricane has ripped the captain’s wheel right off the ship and you are left clinging to something that no longer has any power. The tighter you grip it, the less energy you have to deal with your circumstances in a way that will truly serve you (and everyone around you as well).
At times like these, we often pray for the storm to pass – for things to revert back to the way they were – or for a specific course of events that we believe would be life’s perfect solution. These solutions are based on what we think we know – which is largely a product of what we have already seen and experienced. And relying upon the patterns and strategies that worked for us in the past is often inadequate for our present and emerging challenges.
The world is changing and so are we.
We tend to strive for comfort and familiarity, even when what’s comfortable isn’t necessarily effective or even satisfying anymore. We wish and pray that the chaos be removed and order be restored. But often life’s little disturbances are exactly what we need to reach our true potential and escape complacency. Perhaps as Eckhardt Tolle wrote in The Power of Now, “…what’s appears to be in the way IS the way.”
Stormy seas (and life’s sudden surprises) have a way of testing our resolve and our resiliency. Pressure brings out our extremes – for better or worse. And fear does funny things to people. At its worst, it produces panic – a physical state that literally disables the brain’s ability to think clearly. At one extreme a person is frozen by fear and at the other he will thrash about like a drowning victim who pulls his rescuers under the water with him. The key to surviving a seeming assault of this kind is learning to relax and stay calmly aware of our surroundings so that we can identify and creatively utilize the resources at our disposal.
One of the most critical resources in our control when all else seems beyond it is our perspective. The way in which we view things determines the story we tell ourselves about what’s happening, which directly influences the responses we will have. If we believe we are helpless victims at the mercy of something that seeks to destroy us, we will become bitter, resentful and apathetic. In this state our true power remains dormant. We collude with our view of reality to create a condition that validates our doomsday stories and sink even deeper into the abyss. Those who try to rescue us from our self imposed paralysis risk being dragged beneath the current created by our own negativity.
If, however, we view our predicaments as adventures and see them as opportunities to give things all we’ve got, we reach deeply within ourselves and tap reserves of courage, wisdom and ingenuity we never realized we had. In the proverbial belly of the whale we find our inner grit and creatively rise up to life’s challenges in ways that transform us and everyone around us as well. We become the heroes of our own stories.
Regardless of who you are and what you do, there will come a time when the plateau you have been walking upon takes a steep turn in one direction or the other and you will be required to do something that stretches you beyond your usual way of doing things.
Perhaps it will be in your career. The work that fulfilled you at one point in your life may no longer be enough. You might find yourself doing something very well but suddenly devoid of the gusto you once did it with. It could be the company you keep – people who at one time shared your interests and passions but who you suddenly find yourself no longer wanting to spend a lot of time with. Maybe it will be your lifestyle. The objects and material possessions you that once gave you joy could one day feel more like clutter or distractions. These things become like shells that the hermit crab has outgrown. The crab must release its previous home and step bravely and vulnerably into the unknown in order to find something more spacious.
The quest for a new shell and even the new shell itself may feel daunting, clumsy and overwhelming. But the act of letting go of the old to make room for the new allows us to evolve and realize our true potential. Anything less will ultimately become imprisoning. When we allow ourselves room to grow, life’s little and big disturbances are not so daunting. We know there is more to us than meets the eye and finally step into our own greatness. And as we do this for ourselves, we model the way for others to do the same.
The above article contains excerpts from my new book, The Pinocchio Principle: Becoming the Leader You Were Born to Be, available on Amazon.com and BarnesandNoble.com.
For more on Navigating Sudden Change:
Ship photo by 1971yes from Bigstock.com.
Hermit crab photo by porbital from FreeDigitalPhotos.net.
Surviving and Thriving in Change and Chaos
What if the only thing standing in your way of perfect peace, true productivity and the satisfaction of living a life of purpose – was your thinking?
Many of us are experiencing a great deal of pressure, anxiety and sudden change. Jobs are tenuous, organizations are restructuring, and it might feel as though life itself is turning upside down. Frustration and turmoil is a common response to this kind of uncertainty and disorientation. It can lead to exhaustion and hopelessness. But consider this as you think about the things in your life and career that may feel as though they are spinning out of control…
What if everything is perfect just the way it is?
No, I haven’t gone off the deep end. Bear with me here… One of the key attributes embodied by extraordinary leaders in all walks of life is encapsulated in the word “responsibility” – not just in a moral or ethical sense of being accountable for our actions, but also – and perhaps just as essential in times of change and chaos – remembering that there is wisdom in recognizing that we have the ability to choose our response – and that the response we choose will have a resounding impact on ourselves and everyone around us.
The greatest of change agents start by recognizing what they have to work with before they can create change that will be sustained. They assess their environment to determine what the best entry point for that change is before they make their move. They don’t waste their time worrying about things that are truly out of their control, like changing the weather. Instead, they focus their attention and energy on those things that they do have the ability to influence and start there. The greatest of leaders know that the most powerful and sustainable change must start from within themselves.
The thing that fascinates me about a seemingly chaotic state of affairs is not so much what is happening, but the stories we are telling ourselves about what it means and the impact those stories are having on the way we are responding to it. When we react to things with fear, we end up amplifying that which we are afraid of and adding to the anxiety. Our fears drive us to act in ways that keep us from acting on our intuition and finding the answers that will truly serve us. Sometimes, we end up behaving in ways that make our fictional stories become real.
As an example, when you tell yourself a story about what is happening that leaves you feeling threatened, you may find yourself closing up and treating others with suspicion and mistrust. The way you are behaving toward people may well provoke a response in them that appears to validate your fearful story. However, in this scenario, it is very likely that their behavior is more of a reaction to the actions your story led you to take than anything else.
Our fearful stories are like the viruses we protect our computers from. These nasty viruses are often embedded in emails that pique our curiosity or rouse our fear. When we unwittingly activate them, they spread often uncontrollably and we risk passing them to the computer of our friends, associates and countless others. The viruses corrupt our systems until they no longer function effectively. Like computer viruses, our stories have a way of spinning us out of control and interfering with our ability to rise up to our challenges to find the opportunity that is always there waiting for us to discover and leverage it.
Our rational minds want answers and security. They need to figure everything out and almost automatically occupy themselves with trying to sort through data to arrive at conclusions. The problem is that our minds are plugging imaginary variables into the equation that end up further exacerbating the anxiety we are already experiencing. When they are done with one variable, they plug in another and the churning continues, leaving us with an uneasiness that keeps us on edge.
In the grip of this madness, sometimes the best thing you can do is indulge your mind with a variable that will allow it to do its thing. Go ahead and plug in the worst case scenario. If the worst possible thing happened, what would you do? Alloy yourself to sit with that question for awhile. Let the fear move through you and keep asking the question, what would I do that would allow everything to be OK? If you sit long enough with your question, you will arrive at some workable alternatives and reconnect with that part of yourself that is strong, resourceful and resilient.
Armed with the knowledge that you will be OK even if the worst possible thing happens, you can come back into the present and recognize your fearful thoughts for what they are – fearful thoughts. One of the best pieces of advice I ever got, which I pass along frequently is don’t believe everything you think.
In the present moment, devoid of your stories about variables that are truly unknown, you are OK. And when new events begin to unfold, if you stay in the moment and access your inner wisdom, you will know exactly what you need to do – or not to do – to be OK then too. And as you go about your daily life in this way, your calm resolve will permeate your interactions with others and through your example, you will help others to rise up to their challenges in ways that unearth the greatness in themselves as well.
The above article contains excerpts from my new book, The Pinocchio Principle: Becoming the Leader You Were Born to Be, available on Amazon.com and BarnesandNoble.com.
For more on Surviving and Thriving in Change and Chaos:
The Pinocchio Principle: Becoming the Leader You Were Born to Be
Finding Your Answer In the Midst of Chaos
Photo #1 by Kirill Zdorov from Dreamstime.com. Photo #2 by Valeriy Khromov from Dreamstime.com.
Unhatched
This week’s video post is a short and rather candid one. It was a Wednesday morning and my coach/videographer and I were preparing for a day of shooting videos. I was telling her about something that was bothering me and the fear that it brought about —and before I knew it, she hit the record button.
Since the topic of our conversation was the butterfly habitat that I have been blogging about for the last couple of weeks (see On the Verge of Transformation and On the Brink of Change), I thought perhaps it was fitting to go ahead and post this one too. Maybe it’ll strike a chord with you.
Here’s what I said in the video:
One thing that bothered me this week is the butterfly cocoon (chrysalis) that had yet to hatch never hatched. And I realized it’s not going to hatch. So I took it out to the garden and laid it there.
I didn’t realize how much it bothered me until one day I was running and all of a sudden this ball of emotion came out and I realized that what I am most afraid of is being the caterpillar in the cocoon that dies in the cocoon and never emerges — that has undergone a transformation but kept it so hidden that the world never gets to see that.
I feel all of this energy coming inside of me that I think is a result of taking the downtime and asking the questions, and working through my demons – and getting some clarity on needing to be a voice and needing to really help people and get out there and talk about this stuff that everyone is going through, but nobody seems to want to admit.
There’s part of it that’s guilt, like I don’t feel like I’m doing enough. And I was gripped by this intense moment of sadness that if I deny this call, I’m going to end up like that butterfly in the cocoon that never hatched. And, I think that would be the saddest thing in the world and so that was my prayer that day – “God please don’t let me die in the cocoon”.
For more on change and transformation:
The Pinocchio Principle: Becoming the Leader You Were Born to Be (book)
Busting Out of the Box (workshop)
On the Verge of Transformation
Taking Your Leap, Part I & Part II
Bridging the Gap Between No More and Not Yet
Confused mind picture by ktsdesign from Bigstock Photo.
On the Brink of Change
Are you at your wits end in your job, career, relationship, life in general? Experiencing delays, frustration, confusion, and even a little fear? Well, you might be closer to achieving something amazing than you think.
My last post, On the Verge of Transformation, featured an interview with a caterpillar. The above video continues the play by play in the life of a caterpillar, only this time from the inside of the cocoon (or chrysalis, if you want to be technically correct). I hope you enjoy it!
Here’s what I said in the video:
My daughter has this butterfly pavilion that we’ve been raising butterflies in. It’s been days since all the other chrysalises hatched. In fact, we let nine butterflies go out in the garden the other day. But there’s one that’s still in there, in its cocoon. We look at it every day hoping that we’ll catch it as its just emerging and it’s still in there.
I know it’s not dead because when I push on the side of the habitat, the chrysalis shakes gently, which is something that I learned they do to ward off predators. And, I can’t help but think how often we feel this way: we’re in this cocoon, there’s all kinds of change that’s happening, we’re not really sure which direction is up, and we’re the last one. For some of us, it takes longer than others.
If you’re feeling like you’re stuck in the cocoon, I think it’s probably very uncommon. And uncomfortable.
I read a story about a man who actually saw a butterfly trying to get out of the cocoon and used scissors to try to gently help the butterfly out. The butterfly fell out of the cocoon and it’s body was small and shriveled. It just kind of stumbled around on the ground and was finally just still.
What this man learned later was that to get out of the cocoon, the butterfly has to encounter the resistance. In the act of bumping up and busting out of the cocoon, the butterfly’s body fills up with fluid that it needs in order to spread its wings and be free and to turn into the beautiful creature that it is.
It’s such a great reminder to us that just when we feel things are at their darkest, and everything’s closing in and you just can’t take another minute of it — maybe that’s when we’re the closest to actually being ready to bust out. And maybe instead of thinking of all the resistance as overwhelming and exhausting, we can think of it as that final push we need to give in order to just break through into something wonderful that’s just been waiting for us.
For more on change and transformation:
The Pinocchio Principle: Becoming the Leader You Were Born to Be (book)
Busting Out of the Box (workshop)
On the Verge of Transformation
Taking Your Leap, Part I & Part II
Bridging the Gap Between No More and Not Yet
Crazy businessman picture by Stephane Durocher from Dreamstime.
On the Verge of Transformation
Do you ever feel like you are in the middle of some kind of transformation, but not yet clear on exactly where you are going and what form things are going to take? Speaking from my own experience, it can be a bit unnerving when you are in the thick of it. You may feel as though you’ll never find your way through.
They say it helps to find inspiration from those who have gone before you. On that note, the above video, On the Verge of Transformation, features an interview with a caterpillar. I hope you enjoy it.
Here is what I said in the video:
These live caterpillars came in the mail the other day. My daughter is going to start a butterfly habitat. And when they arrived they were really little — teeny, tiny things. Just a couple of days ago, they started climbing up to the top. You might be able to see, they are starting to hang from the lid.
And I found myself staring at these guys the other day as they were still caterpillars crawling around, wondering if they had any idea what is going to happen to them — that their whole life as they know it is going to end — and if they felt fear. And I wonder, if I could interview a little caterpillar, what would it tell me if I said,
“Hey, do you have any fear about what’s going to happen to you?”
He’d probably look at me and say “Why would I have fear?”
“Because everything you know is about to end.”
And he’d probably say, “Says who?”
And if I said, “But you have no idea what’s going to happen!”
And he could say, “Neither do you.”
And look, they are totally surrendered. If ever there was a position of surrender, it would be hanging upside down while your entire body dissolves into mucus and nothingness and is completely reconstituted — and then to have to find your way out of the chrysalis all on your own. And yet, they do it all the time. It’s part of nature. And they have no fear.
The thought occurred to me that we are always going through our process all the time too. And we get scared, because we have stories about all the things we are going to lose and all the stuff we are going to suffer at. Yet, maybe we can take a cue from the caterpillar. Maybe I can have a little bit of comfort and faith in knowing that just totally surrendering to the process could result in something fantastic and beyond anything I ever could have imagined.
For more on change and transformation:
The Pinocchio Principle: Becoming the Leader You Were Born to Be (book)
Busting Out of the Box (workshop)
Taking Your Leap, Part I & Part II
Bridging the Gap Between No More and Not Yet
Photo by Colin Stitt from Dreamstime.
Busting Out of the Box
Are you on the verge of something big? Contemplating a change? Or in the midst of one? Ready to light it up and blow the lid off what you’ve previously been able to do — and lead others to do the same?
If so, chances are good that you have encountered RESISTANCE. It might feel like you keep hitting walls or even like the walls are closing in on you. Those walls are part of a box surrounding you that keeps you from your greatest work.
But with a lot of willingness and a little help, YOU CAN BUST THROUGH IT!
If you are a business professional in a formal or informal leadership position that is ready to bust through your box and lead others do the same, check out my new program, Busting Out of the Box. It combines three of the most powerful learning formats that I know of and that my clients have told me they’ve benefitted most from, and it will be custom tailored to fit the unique needs of each small group of five to eight people who participate…
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Personalized One on One Coaching Kickoff
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Interactive Five Hour Small Group Workshop (to be held in the Phoenix area)
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Four Ongoing 90 Minute Group Mastermind Sessions
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Follow up Individualized, Personalized Coaching
WHAT WILL YOU GAIN BY PARTICIPATING?
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Breakthrough results
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Issue resolution
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Individualized attention
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Group synergy
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Focus, accountability and support
For more information, go to www.BustingOutoftheBox.com. For dates, times and locations, call (602) 889-2329.
