How to Get What You Really Want

“What do you really want?”

I ask my clients and myself this question. We answer:

• I want things to go my way.
• I want to come out on top.
• I more wins and fewer losses.
• I want my problems to disappear.
• I want to be profitable.
• I want to be successful.
• I want to be respected.

All understandable, relatable.

But the follow-up question is just as important.

“What would that give you?”

This one stumps people. But the answer is usually something about getting peace of mind, satisfaction, happiness and a feeling that all is as it should be in the world.

What if you could have that now?

Sign you up, right?

It starts by recognizing that that the quality of your day – the feeling of getting what you want – is a direct reflection of your thoughts.

Here’s an example of what I mean.

You are about to go into a high-pressure meeting.

You know what you need to do to come out on top. Of course, you want to win, you want to be respected and your agenda dictates that the meeting must unfold in a certain way. Already your mind has created a definition of winning, of GETTING WHAT YOU WANT, that involves you playing your part and others in the meeting playing the part you have imagined for them.

If things don’t go exactly the way you envision, you are disappointed.

You may feel disrespected. If they do go your way, and someone else loses in the process because they must bow to your agenda, then the victory of that win is likely to fade quickly, leading you to seek another win.

What if you go into that same high-pressure meeting with a different mindset?

A mindset that views the meeting through the lens of all parties winning – even if the way to do that was not part of your original agenda? Go into the meeting seeking the best solution for everyone and watch what happens.

Up leveling your mindset allows you to see new possibilities and get better results.

Your mind will begin to entertain the thought that there could actually be a solution in which everyone wins. As a result, you will listen more intently. You will ask different questions. You will be more genuinely interested in what others have to say, because they are an important part of your solution. You will show respect others, and in so doing receive respect.

If you hold the intention of a meeting that everyone walks away from feeling better than when it started, you’ll go into that meeting with a quiet confidence, faith, trust and patience. You’ll take comfort in the wisdom of the group. You’ll start to find you are NOW getting what you want.

It sounds too easy.

Magical even. It’s no wonder since we’re conditioned to believe that we have to do something to get what we want, whether that’s money, respect or peace.

Let’s start again.

Think about whatever your mind if most occupied with and ask the question, What do I really want?

And then, what would that give me?

Take those questions to a higher level, one in which everyone involved benefits in some way.

Feel the ultimate end state as though it has already happened, even though you have no idea how it will happen. Can you rest in the certainty that things will happen in everyone’s best interest?

Let it flow.

Then as you go about your day or face this situation, let your actions flow from the state of mind you wish to achieve. Over time, you’ll realize that instead of having to see it to believe it, what you see will be a direct reflection of what you believe. Allow yourself to believe in the highest possible good for everyone, let go of how it will happen and watch miracles unfold in your life and those of everyone around you.

You won’t have to do anything to achieve that peace of mind, satisfaction and a feeling that all is as it should be because you already possess it.

This process is just one of the many techniques taught in The Pinocchio Principle Unleashed: The Real Leader’s Guide to Accessing the Freedom & Flow of Your Authentic Genius to help you get the results you want with less stress and greater fulfillment. This exclusive 13-week leadership development program kicks off the week of April 1st and is limited to the first 25 people who enroll. Reserve your spot today!

Getting Connected ~ What Intuition and the Internet Have in Common

“Intuition will tell the thinking mind where to look next.”  ~ Jonas Salk

I have been marveling a lot lately over the power of the internet.  I feel so old when I explain to my kids that when I was in school, doing a research paper meant spending hours in a library pouring over books and periodicals to get the required information.  Now, all they need to complete their papers and projects is a computer that has internet access.  The idea that you can tap into a vast reservoir of data, selectively identify what you want to read about, and have it delivered to your screen in a matter of seconds is truly amazing.  And now, it’s so commonplace that most of us no longer really think all that much about it – we just expect it.

And then I began to realize that this process of connecting to something bigger is not unlike what we do when we move from using logical, analytical thought to a more intuitive knowing – going from our heads to our guts. When we are in our heads, we utilize the data that we can see, feel, touch, hear, and taste.  It’s a lot like being in a library or using a computer that is off line – we only have access to the data that is stored in the immediate vicinity – much of which can be irrelevant or outdated.  And we often have to do a lot of manual work to get it.  We spend a lot of time trying to figure stuff out and make things happen the way we think they should.  When they don’t, we tend to get frustrated, try harder to get everything to fit, and ultimately feel as though we just keep hitting walls.  The frustration can lead us to cut ourselves off even more from our intuition, which like the internet, has access to far greater things than what we might realize.

When we access our intuition, we hook up to knowledge that goes beyond what we can immediately see, feel, hear, touch or taste. We can access information that links us to others – which allows us to feel connected to them – to hear not only the words they are saying, but also what they are not saying but feeling.  We can access information that is in the realm of possibilities – about opportunities that are all around us and what we might need to do to leverage and act on them.  We can also access warnings about options that are not in our best interest or will lead us to experience something that is not aligned with where we most want to go.  When we are in our heads, we are inclined to resist or overlook these promptings because they are not “rational” or explainable.

I believe that  our connection to something greater than ourselves allows us to not only receive data, but also to send it – in much the same way we do a search on the internet. When we are in need of a given piece of data, we enter a search term and then receive a variety of links that give us more information about that subject.  Similarly, when we decide on an overarching intention, like wanting clarity, peace, or a mutually satisfying resolution to conflict or challenge, we send a signal to the vast field beyond our heads that gathers information and energy aligned with that intention and brings it into our awareness. We access a field of infinite creativity and wisdom from which some of the greatest inventions and ideas of our time originated.

For some people the information delivered via intuition is easily decoded, like words on a screen.  But for most of us, it is delivered in the form of an inkling, a feeling or a strong prompting to do one thing or another.  Or perhaps it might come in the form of a sign or object that takes on increased meaning – or an experience that in some way relays information, like seeing a movie or having a conversation with another person that is somehow related to our inquiry or intention. When we act on these promptings, things have a way of falling into place such that our intention comes to pass.

Unlike our computers, I believe we are always connected to this larger field, whether we want to be or not.  When we acknowledge and rely on this connection, keeping our thoughts focused on what we want most in life, we will experience a sense of flow, peace and deep satisfaction that comes from experiences we draw to ourselves that match those thoughts. When we fail to recognize the power of this connection, and allow our minds to become consumed with frustration, doubt, anxiety and fear, this same dynamic seems to draw to us additional data, experiences and challenges that match our state of mind – and we find ourselves mired deeper and deeper in frustration.

So the next time you catch yourself feeling anxious  or stressed about anything – frustrated over not being able to solve a problem, resolve a conflict, address an emerging issue or challenge – make a conscious decision to move from your head to your gut, and then balance the two.   Decide what you want to experience and let that be your guiding intention. Your gut intuition will allow you access to ideas and possibilities that are just outside the boundaries of your mind, and your head will help you process and act on that information in a way that brings you the results you desire.

Copyright Synchronistics Coaching & Consulting 2010.  All rights reserved.

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