Tag Archives: Success
Falling Down
Do you find yourself frustrated when you keep trying something over and over again only to feel like you’re getting nowhere? I must confess, I’ve felt that way often. But I had an epiphany one day in yoga class that gave me a whole new perspective. I suddenly realized the one thing that was consistently missing in my many attempts. This week’s video post is about that one thing, which has proven to be valuable not only on my yoga mat, but in the rest of my life as well.
When you’re done watching the video, scroll down for more resources on “falling over”.
Here’s what I said in the video:
I’ve been working on trying to do a handstand for a really long time. And it took me a long time before I would even try. I would see people doing it and think “Wow that’s really cool, but I can’t imagine I would ever be able to do that”. And then gradually, I thought, “You know what? I want to do this. I’m going to try this.”
So, I started off by kicking one foot up and just didn’t get far enough. Kicked another foot up and just wasn’t getting anywhere. And I thought “How do people do this?”
The yoga instructor pulled me aside one day and said, “You know Diane, if you really want to get up there, you have to be not afraid of falling over.” And I thought “Falling over! I don’t want to fall over.” So I took that home and I thought about it and I kept watching people.
And I thought “You know what, so what if I fall over – I know how to fall into a backbend. I’m going to try it, what the heck!”.
So the next time, I kicked up further and higher than I’ve ever kicked up, and guess what – I fell over. Splat, right on my back. Just then, the man sitting next to me on his mat said, “Wow, you’re a risk taker.” And I replied [after thinking about it for a minute] “… yeah, I am.”
Real success is achieved when falling down simply becomes part of the process.
For more on “falling over”:
The Pinocchio Principle: Becoming the Leader You Were Born to Be
Let it Rip – Pushing Past Polished (published 8/1/11 on the Women Speakers Association blog)
Bouncing Back: Perseverance Personified
Strive image by Robert Balazik from Dreamstime.
In Search of Greatness: Finding Your Zone
Last night Tom Petty was in town and I was lucky enough to get a last minute opportunity to watch him perform. Chuck Berry – at age 83 – was the opening act. He moved and grooved and belted out his tunes with just as much energy and passion that he did fifty years ago. And then TP and the Heartbreakers took the stage. They rocked the house. People were out of their seats from the very first song and transported to a place that transcended time and space – where worries, tension and stress simply melt away.
I love to watch people who have mastered their craft enter their zones. They are mesmerizing. Uplifting. Inspiring. Fascinating to watch. And their energy is contagious. They have the ability to connect with people they’ve never even seen before and somehow leave them in a better state than they were before. Their impact on us remains long after we have parted ways.
It’s easy to see this state of grace in people who perform – like musicians, actors, athletes, speakers, dancers, etc. But any of us can get into a zone that allows us to experience a state of flow, where we become one with the work in such a way that it can feel effortless and transformational. And that can have a powerful impact on everyone around us as well.
As I watched Tom Petty perform, I noticed three major things about him that I believe are key to finding your zone – no matter who you are or what you do.
(1) Don’t take yourself too seriously.
“It’s all right if you love me. It’s all right if you don’t.” Classic line from a classic Tom Petty song. I imagine the first time he performed, he probably cared a lot about what people thought of him. Most of us have gotten hooked into worrying about the opinion of others at one time or another. Wanting to win approval and admiration isn’t a crime. And there is nothing wrong with desiring success. But getting too attached to it can have adverse effects. It’ll trip you up and keep you from entering your zone. There is a sweet spot that Tom Petty and other great masters of their crafts have found – one that allows them to play at success without becoming preoccupied with it. The paradox is that letting go of the intense need for success seems to have a way of somehow unlocking the gates for it to come in – and it makes everything a lot more fun.
(2) Be WHERE you are.
The timeless place Tom Petty transported his audience to was largely a product of his own ability to completely immerse himself in what was taking place around him in each moment. He could not have been more present. In this state, we do not fret over things that happened yesterday or worry about what might happen tomorrow. We simply allow things to unfold around us in such a way that we can remain tuned in and turned on. We connect with our intuition. We act on our insights and learn to improvise. Rather than waiting for the “right opportunity” to do what we love, we begin where we are and allow everything that we do to be an expression of love in and of itself. And we create a space that connects us to others in profound ways.
(3) Be WHO you are.
Tom Petty’s voice is distinctive. And so is his style. Maybe he found it immediately. Maybe, like many of us, he started out by emulating someone else before he discovered that what came naturally to him worked better than anything else he tried. Great artists often learn by studying and duplicating the work of other artists. But the best of the best eventually break out of the mold and find their unique form. The same is true for each of us. We begin our lives by learning from and mirroring others, but at some point the time comes for us to step into and embrace our uniqueness. Gradually, we learn to trust that the gifts we have each been given are there for a reason and find ways to put them to use. As we believe in ourselves and our ability to contribute to something greater than ourselves, our work – like that of Tom Petty and Chuck Berry – becomes an inspiration to others.
As I was leaving the stadium after the concert had ended, I noticed a man on the street playing his heart out on a tenor sax. Taped to the pole he was standing next to was a large cardboard sign on which was written in bold black letters the words:
“YOU HAVE GREATNESS WITHIN YOU.
SHARE IT WITH THE WORLD.
BELIEVE IN YOURSELF AND YOUR DREAMS
AND THEY WILL COME TRUE.”
I couldn’t agree more.
My new book, The Pinocchio Principle ~ Becoming Real: Authentic Leadership for the 21st Century is about unleashing your greatness. It will be released on January 11, 2011 and will soon be available to pre-order. Stay tuned for more information and subscribe to my free monthly ezine at www.DianeBolden.com to hear about free upcoming events, videos and teleseminars.
Though comments are currently closed, please feel free to email me at Diane@DianeBolden.com with your feedback, questions and thoughts. Have a specific challenge you’d like to see a post written about? Let me know. I’d love to hear from you!
The Art of Affluence
A few weeks ago in a karate class I heard a marvelous Zen story that spoke to the incessant yearning we all feel from time to time to be more, do more, and have more. This desire at times gives us the strength we need to power through some of life’s most imposing obstacles. At other times, it has a way of creating obstacles of its own. How can we use our aspirations in ways that work for us, and help others in the process? That is the subject of an article called The Art of Affluence that I wrote for my February ezine. Below is an excerpt with a link to the full article. I hope you enjoy it!
A wise master was walking along the sandy banks of a lazy river, breathing deeply, enjoying the feel of sunshine on his skin, and taking in the beauty all around him. Just across the river one of his students was walking anxiously back and forth, scanning the perimeter of the river and the surrounding land. When the student saw his master, he began waving his arms and shouting, “Master! Master!” The Master looked up and waited silently for his student to continue. “Master,” said his student, “How do I get to the other side?” The master simply replied, “You are already there!”
One of the many things this Zen story speaks to is the desire we all have to be more, do more, and have more. And one thing people throughout history can’t ever seem to get enough of is money.
Wealth has been used as a scorecard for success throughout the ages. From its conception, its lure has led many to do things that are not in the best interests of others. We have been conditioned to believe that it is the key to freedom, happiness, and security. People often take jobs that are not truly aligned with their talents because they fear that without them, they will not have the money they need to satisfy their basic needs. Many seek positions of leadership because of the increased pay it has to offer and all the things they could buy as a result.
Money has also allowed organizations and people to expand their level of influence, improve the quality of services and products they offer, and attract key talent that will allow their visions to become reality. It allows programs to be created and perpetuated that improve the quality of life within communities and the world at large. It pays our bills and puts food on the table. And it allows us to travel and buy things of beauty and utility that can become the source of inspiration and joy.
There is nothing wrong with wealth, just as there is nothing wrong with prestige, power or pride. The key is the manner in which these needs are met, and where the desire for them originates. If the aspiration is for a greater purpose – one that is not solely self serving, the desire is aligned with a higher good and the resulting outcome will be as well.
If the motive is not in the best interests of others, it is more aligned with ego and likely to lead to objectionable behavior, such as greed, envy, insensitivity, arrogance, and paranoia. Those who attain what they seek in an effort to serve others are far more likely to sustain it. Those whose motives and tactics are more aligned with serving themselves alone will live in fear of the inevitable loss of their fleeting success.
Often people are drawn to formal positions of leadership for what they have to offer – power, control, prestige, and higher pay. These things feed the ego, which would have us believe our inherent value is equated with them and that the more we have, do or achieve, the more successful we are. The problem is that no matter how much power, control, prestige, and money we acquire, it never seems to be enough. Life becomes a series of races, battles, and games to be won with little time left to savor the victories, which are often short lived. Click here for the full article.
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