What Happened to Me When the Bottom Fell Out

A little over a year ago, the bottom dropped out of my business.  Many of my biggest contracts came to an end, and it seemed nothing I tried was getting anywhere.  The programs I designed weren’t filling, or would run into major snags just as they were about to get off the ground.  I had no desire to go out and drum up more business – couldn’t figure out what I wanted to do at all.  It seemed none of the things that used to fill me up were working anymore. None of my old strategies had any teeth or traction.  I was lost and discouraged.

The book I had published earlier in the year wasn’t selling the way I wanted it to, which made sense given that I had done very little if any promotion.  It just didn’t feel right.  Nothing really felt right.   I spent months worrying about what was happening to me, trying to find a foothold, and making myself crazy with a huge list of “shoulds” that I couldn’t get myself to do.  I beat myself up pretty bad.  And then I decided the heck with it.  I would accept whatever it was that was happening and just go with it.

One thing I began to enjoy was working with video.  After helping my long time coach and friend Vickie Champion with a video for one of her blogs, she turned the camera on me and pushed the record button before I even knew what I was going to say.  And it was fun – even though it wasn’t quite comfortable with (or very good at) it yet.  We filmed a lot of little video vignettes for my blog and then one day decided to work on something a little more substantive.  We had no idea what was about to unfold.

It started out as a video complement to my book, The Pinocchio Principle: Becoming the Leader You Were Born to Be.  But it evolved into something neither one of us saw coming.  I was tapping creative reserves I didn’t even know I had.  And I was venturing out of my comfort zone – way out.  I threw mainstream to the wind and got a little goofy.

Pinocchio became Pistachio, and I went into character as Jiminea Cricketesia, Voice of Intuition. I dawned a black felt hat, clown vest and a crazy white shirt with ridiculously flared sleeves.  The story we were telling was my own.  And it is the story of so many people I have worked with and continue to work with over the years who have hit a wall trying to play a game that cannot be won – chasing after versions of so called “success” that left them feeling empty and wanting more out of life.  It is a story of the journey that ends the futile search and shines the way to true happiness and lasting fulfillment.

Today, I am thrilled to have the chance to share this series, On the Road to Real: The Adventures of Pistachio with you.  For years I have wanted to provide something that would allow people to get in touch with their own intuition and find their answers in an affordable, impactful way that doesn’t require a huge time commitment.  And that is exactly what this series is – in fact, we are so passionate about helping as many people as possible that we’ve decided to allow people to set their own price for it.

So, if anything I wrote about resonated with you – if you feel like you are running in circles, disenchanted with your work or personal life, or on the verge of a profound transformation that has left you wondering what’s next, I invite you to check this video series out at OnTheRoadtoReal.com/Adventures-of-Pistachio/.  Let me know what you think.  And if you know of anyone who might benefit, spread the word.

“Do not go where the path may lead;

go instead where there is no path and leave a trail.”

~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

Thin rope image courtesy of Idea go at FreeDigitalPhotos.net.

Unhatched

This week’s video post is a short and rather candid one.  It was a Wednesday morning and my coach/videographer  and I were preparing for a day of shooting videos.  I was telling her about something that was bothering me and the fear that it brought about —and before I knew it, she hit the record button.

Since the topic of our conversation was the butterfly habitat that I have been blogging about for the last couple of weeks (see On the Verge of Transformation and On the Brink of Change), I thought perhaps it was fitting to go ahead and post this one too.  Maybe it’ll strike a chord with you.

Here’s what I said in the video:

One thing that bothered me this week is the butterfly cocoon (chrysalis) that had yet to hatch never hatched.  And I realized  it’s not going to hatch.  So I took it out to the garden and laid it there.

I didn’t realize how much it bothered me until one day I was running and all of a sudden this ball of emotion came out and I realized that what I am most afraid of is being the caterpillar in the cocoon that dies in the cocoon and never emerges — that has undergone a transformation but kept it so hidden that the world never gets to see that.

I feel all of this energy coming inside of me that I think is a result of taking the downtime and asking the questions, and working through my demons – and getting some clarity on needing to be a voice and needing to really help people and get out there and talk about this stuff that everyone is going through, but nobody seems to want to admit.

There’s part of it that’s guilt, like I don’t feel like I’m doing enough.  And I was gripped by this intense moment of sadness that if I deny this call, I’m going to end up like that butterfly in the cocoon that never hatched. And, I think that would be the saddest thing in the world and so that was my prayer that day – “God please don’t let me die in the cocoon”.

For more on change and transformation:

The Pinocchio Principle: Becoming the Leader You Were Born to Be (book) 

Busting Out of the Box (workshop)

On the Brink of Change 

On the Verge of Transformation

Taking Your Leap, Part I & Part II

Bridging the Gap Between No More and Not Yet

Are You at a Crossroads?

Confused mind picture by ktsdesign from  Bigstock Photo.

On the Brink of Change

Are you at your wits end in your job, career, relationship, life in general? Experiencing delays, frustration, confusion, and even a little fear? Well, you might be closer to achieving something amazing than you think.

My last post, On the Verge of Transformation, featured an interview with a caterpillar.  The above video continues the play by play in the life of a caterpillar, only this time from the inside of the cocoon (or chrysalis, if you want to be technically correct). I hope you enjoy it!

Here’s what I said in the video:

My daughter has this butterfly pavilion that we’ve been raising butterflies in. It’s been days since all the other chrysalises hatched.  In fact, we let nine butterflies go out in the garden the other day.  But there’s one that’s still in there, in its cocoon.  We look at it every day hoping that we’ll catch it as its just emerging and it’s still in there.

I know it’s not dead because when I push on the side of the habitat, the chrysalis shakes gently, which is something that I learned they do to ward off predators. And, I can’t help but think how often we feel this way:  we’re in this cocoon, there’s all kinds of change that’s happening, we’re not really sure which direction is up, and we’re the last one. For some of us, it takes longer than others.

If you’re feeling like you’re stuck in the cocoon, I think it’s probably very uncommon.  And uncomfortable.

I read a story about a man who actually saw a butterfly trying to get out of the cocoon and used scissors to try to gently help the butterfly out. The butterfly fell out of the cocoon and it’s body was small and shriveled.  It just kind of stumbled around on the ground and was finally just still.

What this man learned later was that to get out of the cocoon, the butterfly has to encounter the resistance. In the act of bumping up and busting out of the cocoon, the butterfly’s body fills up with fluid that it needs in order to spread its wings and be free and to turn into the beautiful creature that it is.

It’s such a great reminder to us that just when we feel things are at their darkest, and everything’s closing in and you just can’t take another minute of it — maybe that’s when we’re the closest to actually being ready to bust out. And maybe instead of thinking of all the resistance as overwhelming and exhausting, we can think of it as that final push we need to give in order to just break through into something wonderful that’s just been waiting for us.

For more on change and transformation:

The Pinocchio Principle: Becoming the Leader You Were Born to Be (book) 

Busting Out of the Box (workshop)

 On the Verge of Transformation

Taking Your Leap, Part I & Part II

Bridging the Gap Between No More and Not Yet

Are You at a Crossroads?

Crazy businessman picture by Stephane Durocher from Dreamstime.

On the Verge of Transformation

Do you ever feel like you are in the middle of some kind of transformation, but not yet clear on exactly where you are going and what form things are going to take?  Speaking from my own experience, it can be a bit unnerving when you are in the thick of it.  You may feel as though you’ll never find your way through.

They say it helps to find inspiration from those who have gone before you.  On that note, the above video, On the Verge of Transformation, features an interview with a caterpillar.  I hope you enjoy it.

Here is what I said in the video:

These live caterpillars came in the mail the other day.  My daughter is going to start a butterfly habitat.  And when they arrived they were really little — teeny, tiny things.  Just a couple of days ago, they started climbing up to the top.  You might be able to see, they are starting to hang from the lid.

And I found myself staring at these guys the other day as they were still caterpillars crawling around, wondering if they had any idea what is going to happen to them — that their whole life as they know it is going to end — and if they felt fear.  And I wonder, if I could interview a little caterpillar, what would it tell me if I said,

“Hey, do you have any fear about what’s going to happen to you?”

He’d probably look at me and say “Why would I have fear?”

“Because everything you know is about to end.”

And he’d probably say, “Says who?”

And if I said, “But you have no idea what’s going to happen!”

And he could say, “Neither do you.”

And look, they are totally surrendered.  If ever there was a position of surrender, it would be hanging upside down while your entire body dissolves into mucus and nothingness and is completely reconstituted — and then to have to find your way out of the chrysalis all on your own.  And yet, they do it all the time.  It’s part of nature.  And they have no fear.

The thought occurred to me that we are always going through our process all the time too.  And we get scared, because we have stories about all the things we are going to lose and all the stuff we are going to suffer at.  Yet, maybe we can take a cue from the caterpillar.  Maybe I can have a little bit of comfort and faith in knowing that just totally surrendering to the process could result in something fantastic and beyond anything I ever could have imagined.

For more on change and transformation:

The Pinocchio Principle: Becoming the Leader You Were Born to Be (book) 

Busting Out of the Box (workshop)

Taking Your Leap, Part I & Part II

Bridging the Gap Between No More and Not Yet

Are You at a Crossroads?

Photo by Colin Stitt from Dreamstime.

Taking Your Leap, Part II

This post is the second in a two part article on listening to and answering your call to greatness.  (Click here for Part I.)  It is also an excerpt from my new book, The Pinocchio Principle: Becoming the Leader You Were Born to Be.

If you are ready to take your leap, I invite you to call me at (602) 889-2329 for a complimentary coaching session to see how I can support you through your transformation. Next week, I’ll post information about a new program I am rolling out specifically designed to help you bust through the barriers that keep you from your greatest work.

Taking Your Leap, Part II

Anytime you make a decision to go out of your comfort zone, to do something that is new or unusual for you, you will most likely experience a tinge of fear, hesitation, or anxiety. This fear may lead you to question your ability, your likelihood of succeeding, and the possibility of your demise – whatever that may mean for you. It is essential to realize that this fear is a part of your journey as a leader.

It is not necessary to overcome this fear. The key is to use it in ways that serve you, rather than hold you back. Remember the last time you stood on a high dive? You may have felt flip flops in your stomach or a strange surge of energy through your core. Perhaps you turned around and climbed back down. Or maybe you stepped forward, entered the unknown, and bravely leaped off the board.

After having done it once, depending on your experience, it may have been a bit easier for you to repeat the experience. As leaders, we are repeatedly called to dive into the unknown, in spite of our fears about it. We must use the fear to inform us of the dangers, and to provide us with data that will help us make good decisions. But we must not allow this fear to make our decisions for us.

Having faced our fear and moved forward in spite of it, the experience may be positive or negative. Regardless of the outcome, we must acknowledge the progress we have made. If our experience is less than desirable, we can evaluate it and learn from it. Having had the experience, we are wiser for it – far more than we would be if we simply continued to contemplate taking that leap or safely learn from the experience of others instead. And if we are successful, we can build on this experience and use it as a platform for further growth.

There will always be an abundance of people who will tell you why things cannot be done, what there is to fear, and why it is just not worth the risk. Let them speak, but do not be swayed by their doubt. It is based on their own experience of the world, not yours. If you are to lead, you must set the example for others so that they can see that even when you take a risk and fail, you have moved forward and began progress in a direction that would have otherwise been stunted. If you believe you cannot succeed, you may be right. But if you believe you can, you are halfway there.

When was the last time you took a risk to experience something that has been calling to you – something that you know in your heart is for your highest good (and that of others as well)? What happened when you did? What did you learn? And how have you grown as a result?

What is calling to you now? And what small, sweet step can you take to bring you closer to experiencing the exhilaration of moving bravely in a direction that might just take you and others around you to a new level of mastery?

For more on taking your leap:

The Pinocchio Principle:  Becoming the Leader You Were Born to Be

Bridging the Gap Between No More and Not Yet

Are You at a Crossroads?

Jumping Man image by Kashak from Bigstock.com, 2011.  Diving Board Image by Carrie Owens from Bigstock.com, 2007.

Taking Your Leap, Part I

This week’s post is the first of a two part article on listening to and answering your call to greatness. It is also an excerpt from my new book, The Pinocchio Principle: Becoming the Leader You Were Born to Be. If you are ready to take your leap, I invite you to call me at (602) 889-2329 for a complimentary coaching session to see how I can support you through your transformation. Stay tuned to hear more about a new program I am getting ready to roll out specifically designed to help you bust through the barriers that keep you from your greatest work.

Taking Your Leap, Part I

The call to something bigger is often ushered in by a period of discomfort, where one slowly begins to realize that the outer world does not match the inner one. We may begin to feel a sort of incongruence accompanied by increasing awareness of our current course of events and what it is all for. A greater purpose looms in the background, but the way things are set up doesn’t quite allow that vision to live. And so it is time for a change.

Some call this an awakening. Others call it a crisis. It is a doorway to greater meaning and contribution, and the beginning of a transformation that happens from the inside out.