When Life Throws You Curve Balls… Use Them to Improve Your Game

Have you experienced a lot of change and/or challenge recently?

The last several weeks/months ushered in a series of unfortunate events in my life that had me reeling a bit.  But I learned a few things in the process that helped me get through it all and bounce back stronger. Thought I’d share that in this week’s video…

As Robert Frost once said, “The best way out is always through.” I’ve learned that some of life’s richest lessons are learned through adversity. And what you learn in your personal life benefits you professionally (and vice versa).

We tend to want to move through unpleasant circumstances as quickly as possible, but there is something to be said for pausing long enough to absorb the wisdom they awaken within you. Because those situations always come with gifts that must be unwrapped to be fully received.

If you’re grappling with a challenge right now, I wish you peace, courage, resilience, and faith. You’ve likely been through worse – and you’ll come out the other side better.

Here’s to using life’s curve balls to improve your game!

How to Keep Your Dream Alive (despite doubt, hesitation and other obstacles)

 

Do you have a vision you aspire to make real? No matter what the day/week/month brings… hold strong and continue to breathe life into it. And don’t let your doubt or hesitation steal its fire.

As children, most of us received mixed messages. You may have been encouraged to follow your heart and give life to your dreams in addition to being conditioned to be practical, hedge your bets, and take the safest route. Over time, many of us have allowed the roar of public opinion – that often tells us our dreams are frivolous, selfish, and unlikely to come to fruition – to silence that small still voice within.

But those among us who have risen against their odds have learned to reverse that process and believe in themselves and their dreams despite the overwhelming evidence around them that would suggest that success is improbable.

“If you lose hope, somehow you lose the vitality that keeps life moving, you lost that courage to be, that quality that helps you go on in spite of it all.

And so today I still have a dream.”

~ Martin Luther King

The beginning of each year brings with it the question of what you will focus your time, energy, and resources on accomplishing. It is an optimal time to reacquaint yourself with your dreams and visions, your purpose and values, and the question of how you can become a living example of that which you most admire.

You may be quite sure of what it is you would like to create, do, have, or become. Or perhaps you have only small pieces of a bigger puzzle that has not yet come together.

We all have different talents and strengths, diverse styles and passions – along with a unique combination of experiences (for better or worse) that allows us to discover and apply them to create something bigger than ourselves. You may not know exactly what form it will take, but if you pay attention to the whispers and yearnings of your heart, you’ll begin to make out the shape of something that beckons to you.

The power of your dream will be bolstered by the degree to which your vision expands beyond your own interests to those of others around you. Spend some time contemplating where you feel most drawn and why.

When you land on something that will allow your gifts to align with those of others to accomplish complementary goals, you’ll join forces with something much greater than yourself. It will lift you up when your energy is low and sustain you through moments of doubt and fear.

If you’d like some support in learning how you can leverage your unique style to best connect and collaborate with others to make your vision real, take advantage of a special Happy New Year offer.

For a limited time when you enroll in the Leverage Your Style Behavioral Style Self Study, you’ll have complimentary access to Navigating Change, Challenge & Uncertainty: How to Unleash Extraordinary Performance in Unchartered Territory. Go to www.MeetChangeWithStyle.com for more information (including the curriculum for each course) and to enroll.

You’ll also receive a research-backed, highly validated Target Training International assessment that’ll provide you with a comprehensive 20+ page report about your specific style, including your strengths and areas of opportunity.

Here’s to the power of YOUR dream!

Maximize the Possibility of the New Year (and minimize potential pitfalls)

 

The beginning of each year invites us to consider how we can dig deeper, reach higher, and unleash more potential in ourselves and those we lead.  It begs the question…

How can you maximize the possibility of the New Year… while working through the change, challenge, and uncertainty it brings?

Making the most of what’s possible begins with self-awareness.  Since we all approach opportunities and challenges differently, what is natural for one person may not work for another.

But with an understanding of how to leverage your strengths and sidestep your pitfalls, you can find and execute your own winning strategy.  You’ll minimize the time it takes you to get things done and maximize your effectiveness in getting results.

And if you can couple that self-awareness with an understanding of how to best work with the unique style of others, you’ll find and leverage opportunities to better collaborate with others and influence them to be a part of what you are creating.

When you blend that with an ability to navigate change with ease and grace, you’ll expand your horizons, your reach, and your impact.

For a limited time, you can take advantage of two courses designed to help you do just that – for the price of one…

When you enroll in the Leveraging Your Style DISC Behavioral Style Self-Study (which includes a comprehensive, research-backed TTI assessment), you’ll receive complimentary access to Navigating Change, Challenge & Uncertainty: How to Unleash Unprecedented Performance in Unchartered Territory.  You’ll also have an opportunity to enhance your experience with a one-on-one coaching session with me at a special rate.

Go to MeetChangeWithStyle.com for more information and to view the details of each course, including the curriculum.

Take advantage of this exclusive opportunity to leverage your unique style to open new doors for yourself and those you lead. 

Change is inevitable.  But when nothing is certain, anything is possible.

Here’s to making 2024 your best year yet!

Diane

P.S.  This course combination is also available to bring in-house to your organization. Email Support@DianeBolden.com for more information.

 

 

How to Brave the Discomfort of Growth… and Make 2024 Your Year

 

Happy New Year!  It’s a time for new beginnings and new chapters – one that invites us to think bigger and grow larger.

Can you remember the last time you did something that was out of your comfort zone?

It’s something most of us don’t do all that often, because going beyond that which you’ve previously done is universally challenging.

All too often, we see something that beckons – perhaps something that we know will be good for us, and yet we resist.

Going beyond what is comfortable and familiar is a lot like stretching a muscle. 

You might move tentatively into it and then hit a wall of discomfort. And when you’re in it, a myriad of unsettling thoughts and fears may barrage you – “I’m no good at this…,” “this was a bad idea…” “I’m wasting my time…” and on and on.

The resistance itself seems to intensify the discomfort. It can lead you tighten up, literally and figuratively, and block yourself from moving into the experience.

But if you can remain patient and open – if you can allow yourself this initial period of discomfort and stay present with it, relaxing into it and breathing through it, you might be surprised at the results you experience.

Stretching allows us to expand beyond our previous constraints.

Think of the last time you tried something really different – something new and exciting and kind of terrifying all at the same time. If you stayed with it despite your initial resistance, chances are that over time the discomfort gave way to exhilaration and eventually, perhaps deep gratification.

And the longer you kept at it, the easier and more satisfying it became.

Now’s the time to step into the future you most want to create.

We’re all capable of so much more than we realize, and the time has come for us to stand taller, reach higher, and be willing to open ourselves up to allow our greatest work to emerge. Don’t be fooled into thinking that going outside your comfort zone is merely a self-serving exercise that can wait until you have more confidence or time.

In fact, there is no better way to increase your confidence than by taking this kind of action despite your fear and discomfort.

Your future self (and those you lead) will thank you.

That kind of courageous exploration enriches not only yourself but everyone who will benefit from the gifts you uncover and give form to. When you resist growth, you cheat more than just yourself. And when you expand, you allow yourself to truly lead – in whatever form that leadership will take.

Here’s to stretching yourself to achieve new heights in this brand new, shiny new year!  Wishing you and yours a bright, beautiful 2024!

Diane

The One Gift Everyone Needs Most (and No One Gets Enough Of)

 

Regardless of your holiday budget, there’s a gift you can share that transcends all others and won’t cost you a thing. One could argue it’s the one thing that no one gets enough of and everyone needs the most…

It’s the gift of presence, a state that allows us to truly bring out the best in ourselves so that we can do the same for others.

When you give presence, everyone benefits – including you.

You can experience it wherever you are — whether in a meeting, running an errand, sitting at your desk, or in a conversation. It has the power to transform the way you experience your daily life and what it allows you to create for yourself and others — without really DOING anything at all.

Can you recall the last time you felt totally and completely attended to?

Chances are it wasn’t when someone was giving you advice or telling you what to do. It may not have even been when someone was serving you or watching you tear open a gift. Yet when we think of giving something to others our minds often immediately jump to what we can do, say or buy for someone. Many times, the best gift we can give someone is that of our presence.

What exactly is presence?

The word present derives from the Latin past participle praesse meaning “to be before one”. It’s a state of being that’s achieved when you’re truly in the moment, allowing it to unfold without judging it, labeling it, or getting lost in your thoughts about what it means or what you believe should be happening next (or instead).

Presence allows us to cut through the clamor of our preoccupations, worries and fears so that our true selves can emerge. It’s a gateway through which our intuition and inner wisdom enters and expresses itself. A moment of presence is a state of grace that allows us to receive powerful insights that help us make the most of our opportunities and rise to our challenges in creative ways.

It’s a gift that keeps on giving.

 In these moments of presence, you’ll experience things on a different level – one that allows you to respond from a deeper, wiser part of yourself. And when you are with others, listening deeply and making them the center of your attention you will bring out that deeper, wiser part of them as well.

This is why the best leaders have learned to become comfortable with silence, to listen more than they talk, and to allow themselves to become instruments that help others to recognize their own greatness – not necessarily through anything that say or do, but rather through moments of presence that are created and shared with others.

In a world where everything moves so fast and people often feel overlooked and unheard, presence is one of the greatest gifts you can give.

It has the capacity to transform ordinary everyday life into precious moments that’ll become treasured memories. And since it’s a gift that’ll give as much to you as it will to others, it makes giving as wonderful as getting – no matter the time of year.

Here’s to your presence! Wishing you and yours a beautiful holiday.

 

It’s Not What You Do – It’s the Way that You Do It…

 

Ahh December.  Twinkle lights on trees and rooftops, the smell of wood burning in fireplaces, a refreshing chill in the air…  and of course, a whole slew of things to do that can tip the scales for people who were already feeling overwhelmed with work (and maybe even life itself).

How You Do Things is as Important as What You Do (…maybe even more so)

It’s tempting to approach all those things the way you do items on a checklist – just power through them in the most efficient way possible.  The risk of that, however, is that you’ll relegate yourself to a kind of “autopilot” state, where you’re going through the motions with your head and your hands but not really your heart.

And when that happens, the things you do can feel empty – for yourself and others too.

Never Underestimate the Power of Presence

I’m convinced that when people receive what we give them, they experience the energy we put into it.  You’ve probably had someone tell you to have a good day while looking at their phone or multi-tasking.  It just doesn’t have the same impact as it does when they look you in the eye and are truly with you, sharing a feeling and not just words that sound good.

The end of the year brings into focus what really matters in our lives.

November leads us to think about what we are grateful for.  December allows us to spend time with those we love, both giving and receiving in ways that create and perpetuate joy.  And as we move closer to January, we do well to reflect on what we most want to experience, accomplish, or become in the new year.

It’s a time that calls us to be present – and to pour our very selves into what matters most.

Honor What’s Most Important

You may not be able to DO everything on your list (most of us never really can).  Instead, take some time to identify what is really important to you.

What are the things you care so much about that it’s worth slowing down to pour enough of yourself into them that people are moved by the experience?  Those things you give yourself to wholeheartedly will be the game changers in both your personal and your professional life.

So be intentional.  Start now.  Today. 

What matters most to you?  And how can you be completely present and intentional in a way that allows others to truly experience the magnitude of what you have to offer?

Because when you do, what you give to others will enrich your own life as much as it does theirs.

 

How an Attitude of Gratitude Can Transform Your Work – and Your Life

 

Though Thanksgiving is behind us, taking an attitude of gratitude into our everyday lives pays great dividends – both personally and professionally.  Gratitude allows us to see beyond life’s little (and big) trials and tribulations to find openings where we previously only saw obstacles.  It allows us to move past annoyance and irritation to find something redeeming in people and situations.  And it has the power to transform frustration into appreciation.

It’s scientifically proven…

There is scientific evidence that our thoughts and focus can influence our perception, behavior, and outcomes.  When you consciously shift into a state of gratitude, your heightened level of focus will allow you to see solutions, opportunities, and possibilities you might otherwise miss – and act in ways that free you from constraints that previously held you back.

Notice what you’re focusing on.

Your brain allocates resources to process information more deeply about whatever you focus your attention on.  And it will prioritize that information over other stimuli.  The process is called selective perception.  While it is natural to focus on things that exasperate us, allowing attention to linger there will likely lead you to continue to take in information that just further upsets you.  And in that state, your ability to effectively respond is greatly diminished.

Focus on what you most want to see.

But you can turn that around with deliberate and conscious intention.  The same principle applies, so taking in information that allows you to find something to be grateful for will allow you to see and focus more deeply on constructive elements things in situations and people that you can build on.  It’ll lead you to place your attention on things you can positively impact.

Make an attitude of gratitude part of your neural network.

The more often you deliberately shift your attention from frustration to appreciation, the more your cognitive and behavioral patterns become hardwired in ways that increase your resourcefulness and ingenuity.  This process, which involves adaptive structural and functional changes to the brain is called neuroplasticity.

So next time you find yourself annoyed by someone or something, find something (anything) to be grateful for – and watch how the way it leads you to respond provides you and everyone around you even more to be grateful for.

 

 

What if You Could Transform Conflict Into Collaboration?

 

We’ve all been there – something happens that pushes your buttons, and frustration begins to seep in.  You might tell yourself a story about why the other person is acting in ways that seem intentionally insensitive or disrespectful.  And that story will likely put fuel on your fire.  Worse yet, believing your story could lead you to act in ways that create combustion.

And before you know it, you’re in a full-blown conflict.

This week’s article, A Matter of Style – How to Turn Conflict into Collaboration, just published in Brainz Magazine, will help you to prevent this kind of conflict from emerging.  You’ll learn five specific tips to transform situations wrought with frustration into opportunities for creating cooperation and synergy.

And if you’re interested in learning more about how to best connect, communicate and collaborate with others, go to LearnYourStyle.com to take a two-minute quiz that’ll determine what is likely your most dominant behavioral style.   Along with your results, I’ll send you information about your unique style and tips on how you can leverage it to maximize your effectiveness, influence, and impact.

Here’s to making the best of situations that may otherwise bring out the worst!

Diane

P.S. – Did you catch last week’s Doodly video on how to better understand and work with people’s differing styles?  If not, you can watch it here.

How to Connect, Communicate & Collaborate with Greater Influence & Impact

 

Are there people in your office (or your life) that drive you nuts because they insist on doing things so differently than you do?

We’re led to believe we should treat others the way we want to be treated.  But if one person’s preferences are another’s irritations, using that approach to connect, communicate and collaborate doesn’t always work very well…

When people don’t say and do things the way you’d like them to, you might believe they are intentionally trying to make you crazy – when in reality they are just operating with a style that is different than yours.

This week’s video will give you a leg up on understanding people’s differing styles in a way that’ll transform frustration into appreciation, collaboration and synergy.

And if you’d like to find out what is likely YOUR most dominant behavioral style, take this complimentary 14-question quiz.  Along with your results, I’ll provide you with tips to help you not only understand but also LEVERAGE your unique style to maximize your effectiveness, influence and impact – with others who are both similar to and different from you.

Here’s to your success!

Diane

P.S.  If you know of others who might like to learn about their style  – and how to best connect, communicate and collaborate with others too, you can direct them to www.LearnYourStyle.com to take the complimentary quiz as well.

Overcome Your Limiting Beliefs and Create Your Desired Future

 

It’s pretty indisputable… to create and experience your desired future, you must overcome your limiting beliefs.

Eleanor Roosevelt once said, “The future depends on those who believe in the beauty of their dreams”.  And according to Mahatma Gandhi, “The future depends on what we do in the present.”

I think they are both right.

The thing is, most of us are so busy running around fighting fires that we don’t give a whole lot of thought to what we’d like to create.  And even when we do, those dreams and visions are sometimes accompanied by hesitation, doubt, and even resistance.

The good news is that when your most formidable obstacles are self-generated, you most certainly have the power to rise above them.

In this week’s video, I’ll share some tips on how you can overcome your limiting beliefs that might otherwise stop you in your tracks (or keep you from starting at all) – so that you can move confidently toward the future you most want to experience.

Here’s to the beauty of YOUR dream!

Diane

P.S. The content of this week’s video was drawn from a workshop for visionary and heart centered leaders I recently presented at a Board Retreat for a client.  If you’re interested in bringing a workshop or webinar into your organization, contact us at support@DianeBolden.com.

 FULL TRANSCRIPT:

Hi, Diane Bolden, executive coach and author of The Pinocchio Principle: Becoming a Real Leader – How to Unleash Genius in Yourself and Those You Lead.

A couple weeks ago, I facilitated a workshop for heart-centered and visionary leaders at a retreat for one of my clients. Retreats are such a great way to get a bigger perspective and to begin to connect the dots of where you’re at, where it is you most want to go, what you’re learning along the way, what’s beckoning to you.

But you know what? You don’t have to get away or go someplace fancy in order to have a retreat. You can start by doing that right here, right now.

And it is something that you have to make a conscious decision to do because often, we’re so busy running around, fighting fires, dealing with the crisis of the day that we don’t stop to think about what is it we most want and what we might need to do in order to get it.

Sometimes when you think about what it is that you want, you might experience a feeling of resistance or dread or heaviness – and that’s to be expected because anytime you endeavor to do something that goes beyond your comfort zone and requires that you do something that you haven’t done before, you’re going to be met with resistance.

Oftentimes though, the resistance that we feel is something that we associate with the task and our chances of actually being able to accomplish it, when, in reality, those feelings are really just a product of what we’re thinking about the vision that we’re entertaining in our minds. And that thinking, when you’re not aware of it, tends to run the show…

Thinking that goes something like this, ” I don’t have the time to do that.” When you’re not aware of that limiting belief, you’ll end up acting in ways that make it true because you won’t take the time or make the time.

You might believe something like, ” I’m not really sure I’m cut out to do that,” or, “I don’t know what it is I would need to know” in order to pull that off,” or, “I would have to have everything all figured out, and I am nowhere near being able to do that.” When you believe those things, again, they stop you before you’ll ever even start because if you believe that you don’t have the ability to pull something off, why would you even bother trying?

You might believe something like, “I’m not really sure I can get people to support me.” And again, with that belief, you’re likely not to even ask because you feel like you already know what the answer will be.

The thing is, when you become conscious of what the limiting beliefs are that create that heaviness and tend to stop you in your tracks, you can begin to challenge them. Once you’re aware of limiting beliefs, they tend to lose their power over you.  Awareness opens the door that allows you to overcome your limiting beliefs.  Once you’re aware of a thought that isn’t serving you (and perhaps isn’t even true), you can replace it with something better.

If you think about a belief like, “I don’t really have the time to do that,” you might recognize, “You know what? I may not have the time to do all of it right away, but I do have the time to take a couple steps here and there – and I can make the time to do it regularly enough that I’ll actually make good progress.”

Something like, “I’m not sure I have what it takes in order to figure that out,” or even, “I need to have it all figured out before I can even start,” when you challenge it, can be shifted into a belief that actually supports you – a belief that says, “I don’t have to have everything all figured out. I just need to figure out the first few steps, and from that vantage point, I’ll know what I need to do next.”

A belief like, “I’m not really sure I could get people to support me” could become something more like, “I’m willing to approach a few people to see what it would take in order to get the support that I would need.”

In a few short months, we’ll be in a whole new year. It’s a great time to begin to take stock of what it is that’s beckoning to you and to create the space you need to incubate those kinds of visions, so that they are more likely to become reality. It’s also a great time to let go of anything that could get in the way of allowing you to achieve those visions and dreams.

The best time for you to recognize and overcome your limiting beliefs is now.

So, take some time to see if you can connect with what it is that you most want to create in the coming months and year, and what it is that you’re believing about that particular vision or dream that could potentially stop you. When you become aware of what those showstoppers are, they lose their power over you. And you can change them into something that actually can facilitate and increase the chances that you’ll meet with the success you desire.

If you’re interested in bringing a workshop or a webinar into your organization, contact us at support@dianebolden.com. Thanks for watching, and here’s to your success.