Never forget YOU are the hero of your own story

 

“Sometimes I just want my life to be more like a fairy tale.”

One of my workshop participants once told me that. And I could relate.

What she meant was, “I wish that I didn’t have to deal with problems… that things would always go my way… that life could be about riding into marmalade sunsets through rolling fields of daisies.”

I couldn’t help but remind her that even the best of fairy tales has conflict and peril and villains and crisis.  If they didn’t, no one would watch (or read) them.

Because they would be pretty boring.

In fact, the arc of most of those stories involves a character that sets off on some kind of journey or quest to find that things are not as easy as initially thought.  An unexpected setback puts the hero on her heels or knocks her down altogether.

She has to pick herself up, dust herself off and persevere.

It is only a matter of time before she faces another more difficult challenge. But she’s learned a thing or two from the last one.  And she relies upon that experience and that wisdom to get her through this one and the next… and the one after that.

Life is like that too.

The major difference between a fairy tale (or an action/adventure movie) and real life is that when you’re watching the character in a story, you are safe in your seat.  And when the peril is your own, you’re in the thick of the action – unsure of what will happen next and whether you’ll come out alright.

But this likely isn’t your first rodeo.

You’ve been through a challenge or two yourself.  And lived to tell about it.  Like the hero in those stories, you too have gained wisdom and insight and strength along the way.

Rainer Maria Wilke once wrote, “The future enters into us, in order to transform itself in us, long before it happens.”

What if the very experiences you have had over the course of your life occurred in perfect order to prepare you for what you would experience in your future?

Why Letting Go of the Old Helps You Succeed With the New (and How to Do It)

 

What is it that you are longing to create in the coming year?

And what do you need to let go of to allow it to fully take root?

Every year, we are encouraged to set New Year’s resolutions.

We are a goal-driven society that is conditioned to seek more. Our egos desire more money, more fame and prestige, and more stuff. A deeper part of ourselves longs for more peace, more meaning, and more purpose in our lives.

We want to move beyond our previous realizations of what we’ve already accomplished to master newer, better ways of doing things (in our lives and our organizations) – and as leaders what we can inspire others to do.

Though it is tempting to think about how we can achieve all of this and what we need to do more of, perhaps what we really need to start with is what we need to do less of… what we need to let go of to create the space for something new to come in.

We are constantly evolving both individually and collectively. 

It is so easy to look to the past to define who we are through the things we’ve already done:  goals we’ve achieved, titles we’ve acquired, creations we have built. Our previous experiences coagulate to form an identity that is easy to confuse with our true nature.

The fact of the matter is,

you are not your accomplishments,

your creations, or the sum of the various roles

you play in your life – manager, director, vice president,

mother, father, friend, son, daughter, etc.

You are much, much more than that.

Your potential is limitless.

And yet, we limit ourselves by these definitions.

They filter the experiences we allow ourselves to have and compel us to define the form that our deepest longings should take. To be happy, we reason – we must get that promotion, achieve this or that particular goal, hit that target. So we continue to go through the motions, doing the kinds of things we’ve always done – on a sort of autopilot.

Some of this may bring satisfaction, and some a growing source of discontentment. We need to attune ourselves to that which brings us the most of what we truly desire and open ourselves to the possibility that what we really want may need to come in a form that has previously been undefined.

In short, we must allow ourselves to surrender what we think we know to fully embrace the mystery unfolding in each of our lives.

Easier said than done, right?

How exactly do you go about letting go of the known when it’s all you know?

We can take our cues from nature. Snakes and other reptiles shed their skin, trees drop their leaves, and caterpillars create cocoons in which their forms entirely dissolve before recreating themselves as butterflies.

Even a fish in a bowl cannot stay in water that contains its excrement – the waste must either be emptied and replaced with new water, or absorbed by something else that will remove it from the fish’s environment.

Without engaging in these renewing processes, these creatures will die. And so it is of us. Many of us are already walking around encased in layers of old, dead stuff that needs to be released.

What are you holding onto in your life that has run its course?

What are the old outmoded ways of doing things that no longer bring you energy? What are the things you’ve acquired that you no longer need? What beliefs are you holding onto that are no longer true for you?

Pay attention to the times that you feel constricted, anxious, or tired and in those moments ask what you can let go of. Don’t be afraid of the answer. Though it may frighten you because it introduces an element of the unknown, following these insights will always lead to freedom and liberation.

Your computer can only handle so much data.

If you do not delete old email and get rid of files that have been accumulating over the years, and if you continue to add new programs without deleting old ones, you will find that it becomes sluggish and unresponsive.

Just as freeing up space allows your computer to process things more quickly, so too will clearing your own personal space (whether of things or thoughts) allow you to access new levels of clarity and creativity.

Space invites opportunity.

You will breathe easier, be more present in every action and interaction you partake of, and bring more of who you really are to what you do. And you will open up the space of possibility that will allow something to come in that may surprise and delight you.

So here’s a thought for the New Year: Instead of trying so hard to do more with less, perhaps we can allow ourselves to explore the possibility that in doing less, we can have so much more.

For more on how to affect your own personal and professional transformation, check out The Pinocchio Principle: Becoming a Real Leader – How to Unleash Genius in Yourself and Those You Lead, available in both paperback and Kindle formats.

Ringing in the New Year: Why Looking Back is as Vital as Looking Ahead

 

There is something magical about being at the threshold of a new year.

It’s like climbing to the top of a long staircase to find yourself on a landing, standing before a large glimmering door just waiting to be opened. As you look down, you realize how far you have climbed to get here. Yet, you cannot help but wonder what lies behind the door.

Often, we underestimate the amount of growth we have achieved.

It’s important to take some time to reflect on the unique combination of experiences that have led to both successes and disappointments and the learnings that have accompanied them. Doing so cultivates insight that helps you know what to do in the future.

I often work with people who feel ready for a change but aren’t sure what that change should be. They aren’t necessarily miserable in their jobs or other areas of their lives – they just long for something that will fill them up in ways they haven’t been fulfilled in the past.

When I coach people who feel this way, they sometimes want me to tell them what the next best step is – to give them the answer or a step-by-step process that will lead them to find what they seek. Of course, no person has these answers for another. Our greatest challenge and opportunity is to find them for ourselves.

Each of our lives has a story with perfect order and meaning.

As in a novel or screenplay, each character has a unique relationship to the main character, and every scene has some relevance to his growth and evolution. There will be victories and disappointments as well as twists and turns.

We will have occasion to laugh, cry, and experience a myriad of other emotions that are somewhere in between. And as a result of this perfect combination of events and mini-plots, we discover ourselves to be better people.

When reading a book or watching a movie, the perfect order is often easier to see than it is for the characters enmeshed in the stories we are watching. Yet, the mystery and intrigue, the humor over each misstep, and the courage we see the characters exude to find their way give substance to the story and allow us to leave the book or the theatre feeling moved or inspired in some way.

As you reflect on 2024, can you identify your story’s most pivotal turns? What did you learn from them? Think about your character sketch. What are the endearing qualities you have that make you unique and special? How can you leverage them to build on the previous events to create a story worth telling?

Think also about the people that surround you. In what ways are they helping you grow? What are they teaching you about yourself – whether in joyful or painful ways? And what qualities do they possess that are similar to and different from yours? How do you complement each other, and what might it be that you can create together?

You now sit at the threshold of another chapter in your story.

Contemplate what you have already experienced and ask yourself how you might build upon it to add a bit of intrigue and adventure. Identify the ways that you could add a little lightness and humor. Think about the interplay between the characters and how you could spice things up a little.

We have each been given the makings of a beautiful tale. Open your eyes and survey them the way you would the perfectly planned detail of your favorite movie or novel. Give yourself completely to the adventure, the possibilities, and the humor in your life.

Then find a way to revel in the joy of living it.

Here’s to a bright, beautiful New Year!

 

For more on reveling in the adventure that is your life, check out The Pinocchio Principle: Becoming a Real Leader, available in both paperback and Kindle formats.

How to Transform Overwhelm and Frustration into Enthusiasm and Engagement

 

Imagine finding yourself face down on the concrete being pummeled by some kind of hard object every thirty seconds or so.

You’re agitated and a little resentful – and you may feel like a bit of a victim.

And then suppose you lift your head and notice that the concrete you are lying on is green. Widening your view, you see that the objects being hurled at you are tennis balls. And they are coming from a machine that is firing them over a net. As you continue to look around, you notice there is a racket within arm’s reach.

And then you remember – ah yes, I signed up to learn how to play tennis.

Getting better at anything is a decision that you make to be in the game.

It’s easy to forget that the game you’re playing is one you chose for yourself when those balls are coming at you full speed, one after the other. But the simple shift of mind that comes from feeling like a victim of your circumstances to someone who has willingly stepped onto the court is one that makes all the difference in the world.

Think of anything in life you feel like you “have to” or “should” do. More than likely with that frame of mind, it will feel heavy and cumbersome. But find something about that same activity that you want or care deeply about, and suddenly everything gets a little lighter.

You find reserves you didn’t think we had. You rise to the occasion. You notice the racket that lies within your grasp and begin to use it to hit some of those balls.

The more you play, the better you get.

Granted, a few balls may slip here and there. And you may hit some in directions that don’t go anywhere near where you intended them to. But the less you care about needing to get it perfect, the more likely it is you’ll want to play the game.

And the more you play, the more of those balls you’ll be able to return.

The more of those balls you’re able to return, the higher your confidence.

And the higher your confidence, the easier and more fun the game gets.

Rest assured, there will be days when it feels like you are being pummeled. But perhaps the reason those balls come at you harder and faster is because you are ready to advance to a whole new level – one that allows you see what you’re really made of. And maybe, just maybe – the only thing you really need to focus on is showing up and being willing to play.

Game on!

How to Unlock the Power of Gratitude

 

Gratitude allows us to interrupt, if only for a moment, what seems like a perpetual condition of restless yearning. From such an early age, we become conditioned to always look for more – to achieve more, to have more, to become more. With such an orientation, even the fruits of our labor are not fully embraced before we feel compelled to run off and do something else.

Gratitude is a state of being rather than doing.

It is a matter of what we focus on. All of our striving and yearning keeps us fixated on what we do not yet have, but desperately want. It leaves us in a state of lack, feeling as though we must compensate for something. Gratitude reverses that and allows us to soak up and truly experience the fullness of what is already ours. In gratitude, we can fully appreciate the richness of life around us – no matter what it looks like. From that state, we can more fully connect with those we love and appreciate and truly enjoy each moment as it unfolds.

Soon the day we call Thanksgiving will be upon us.

It brings with it the opportunity to celebrate – if only for a day – the richness and bounty that is ours. But this state of appreciation and celebration does not need to stop after the day is done.

For all that we want, there is much that we already have.

When you shift your mind into a state of gratitude, you are likely to act in ways that bring more to be thankful for. As you love and appreciate the important people in your life, you become more lovable. As you give your time and attention to others, you realize there is a place within you from which you have much more to give. Even with the things you really want in life, you can begin to realize the small (and big ways) in which those things are already here – and be fully present to the way they are already unfolding, trusting in life’s beautiful mystery.

No matter who you are or what your life is like, you have something to be grateful for.

It has been said that whatever your place your attention, energy, and focus on will expand. Perhaps this is the true art and power of gratitude – our ability to be in a place of joy and abundance and magnify it in such a way that it truly enhances the quality of our own lives, and everyone around us as well.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Diane

P.S. If you find yourself in an environment that is difficult to appreciate or feel that what you really want is a change of some sort, gratitude might be a difficult place to start to begin crafting your desired future.  I work with high achieving executives every day through a curriculum-based coaching program and via one-on-one coaching to help them leverage their experiences to move closer to their ideal vision so they can make a bigger impact doing meaningful, inspiring work and enjoy their lives more – both on and off the job. Message me if you’d like more information.

Lighthouses and Leaders: How to Live Better and Lead Brighter

 

I’ve always been drawn to lighthouses.  And this summer we traveled to visit one of my favorites…

But this trip was unlike previous visits – and it led me to some powerful insights about what lighthouses and leaders have in common.

We look to leaders to light the way.  But sometimes even the mightiest lights begin to dim.  What do you do when that happens?

This week’s video will give you some powerful tips on how you can live better and lead brighter.

You likely have a few of your own practices for refreshing and reviving yourself… I’d love to hear them!  Leave a comment here so others can benefit as well.

Here’s to reigniting your light!

Diane

FULL TRANSCRIPT:

Hi, Diane Bolden, executive coach and author of the “Pinocchio Principle: Becoming a Real Leader – How to Unleash Genius in Yourself and Those You Lead.” And I just wanted to tell you a quick story of something that happened over our summer vacation.

We went up to Northern California and one of our favorite places to visit up there is the Point Reyes Lighthouse. It was built in 1870 and back in its heyday, its light was so bright that it could be seen all the way to the horizon for 24 miles. The path to get there is beautiful. It takes a little while to get to the viewing point but once you do, it’s well worth the trip… …except for the time we were there.

It was so foggy you could barely even make out the lighthouse. I almost didn’t even snap a picture of it. But when I got home, I was really glad I did. Because I was reflecting on the whole nature of lighthouses and I realized that the fog doesn’t really matter.

The whole purpose of a lighthouse is to cut through the fog, to show a path for other people. And the lighthouse doesn’t change the fog… doesn’t take it away. It just shines its light so that other people can find their way. And I think that’s exactly what a leader does.

Regardless of your title, your vocation or your role, you have the ability to show other people a way through the thickest of challenges and to help yourself find your way too. But every once in a while, our lights as leaders start to flicker and dim and it’s really important when that happens that we tend to the light so that we can continue to help other people.

In fact, if your light’s starting to dim, one of the most generous things you can do as a leader is reignite it and do whatever you can to lead brighter. And maybe that just means slowing down long enough to catch your breath or connect the dots or reflect a little on what life’s trying to teach you. Maybe it’s about getting connected with what’s most important to you, what it is that you want, and how you can create more of that.

Maybe it’s about making the decision to recognize and release habits that are no longer serving you or just doing some things that bring you joy. Spending time with people that make you smile and laugh or doing whatever it is that lights you up. Maybe it’s taking a walk in nature or gardening or writing or listening to some great music or playing music.

I don’t know what it is for you, but you probably do. And if your light’s starting to dim a little, chances are you probably haven’t let yourself do it for a while. Regardless of how bright your light is, regularly tending to it will allow you to cut through the deepest of fog so that you can help other people find their path too.

Do you know somebody whose light could use a little brightening? Share this video with them and a little of your own light. And don’t forget to take good care of yourself – so that you too can live and lead brighter.

Don’t Let a Gut Punch Keep You Down

 

If you’ve ever had a major disappointment, you know it can suck the wind right out of you, just like a gut punch. It can also steal your attention and energy and keep it fixated on something you likely have little or no control over. And that has far worse consequences.

Getting the wind knocked out of you is temporary. Eventually your breathing evens out and your bruises heal. But if you allow your attention and energy to be dominated by something that brings you down, you not only forfeit your ability to savor the positive things in your life – you also give away your power.

Why?

Because our brains are wired to take in information that confirms what we already believe, deem to be important, and/or are currently focused on. And they screen out any information that doesn’t match.

So, when you allow your focus to be consumed by something that’s bringing you down, your reticular activating system acts as a filter that allows more information in to match the dominant thought pattern. It’ll also screen out information that could otherwise pull you out of your funk. And that can keep you trapped in a downward spiral.

It’ll magnify your feelings of disappointment, but that’s not the worst of it. Since action follows thought, it’ll also keep you from recognizing what you could potentially do to rise above it.

But it doesn’t have to…

Here are five tips for turning that dynamic around – so you can bounce back from disappointment more quickly and get yourself back on a positive, productive, and promising trajectory.

1) Notice your state and acknowledge your feeling. Disappointment is real, as are the losses that often accompany them. Often denying those feelings just makes them stronger. Feeling them allows them to move through you more quickly.

2) Identify what you most want now. You can use the disappointment itself as a guiding force. If the thing you most wanted had come to be, what would it have given you? See if you can go deeper by identifying the feeling beneath them that was driving the desire. Perhaps it was a feeling of peace or joy. Maybe it was a sense of accomplishment or progress.

3) Shift your focus to whatever allows you to feel those feelings now. Maybe it’s something you are grateful for in your life. Or the memory of a previous success. The more you can identify with that feeling, the more likely you are to align your thoughts with what you most desire.

4) Shift your attention from what’s out of your control to what’s within your ability to impact. Even asking yourself the question of what you could do to bring your desire to fruition will begin to change your thought pattern and prompt your reticular activating system to search for ideas and solutions.

5) Never underestimate the power your thoughts and actions have on those around you. Use this opportunity to show others the way to rise above their own disappointment and frustration.

No one enjoys a gut punch. It may knock you down, but it doesn’t have to keep you there. With conscious intention, desire, and a willingness to stay in the game you can come back strong – with the mindset and mojo of a winner.

The thrill of the game – in work and life

 

If you’ve ever played video games, you know that the fun is advancing to the next level.

Overcoming the obstacles thrown at you unlocks new features, brings new adventures and leads you to get better at playing the game.

The same is true in life, especially at work.

You likely have ideas, dreams and visions that call to you – whether advancing your career, launching a new project, or making a bigger difference. Every day gives you a new opportunity to reach a little higher and get a little closer.

What if you could approach your personal and work challenges with the same enthusiasm and vigor you might bring to advancing to the next level in a video game?

In real life it’s far too easy to get lured into playing small and staying where you’re at. We don’t intend to do that, of course. Our intentions are often grand. But a myriad of reasons keep us from acting on them.

• We don’t give ourselves permission to dream big (and to pursue those dreams)
• We’re too busy doing things that could/should really be delegated to others
• We don’t know where (or how) to start
• We fear we don’t have what it takes (and stay in our comfort zones instead)
• We’re waiting for the right opportunity (instead of creating one)
• We worry there’s too much to lose if we “fail” (and forget what’s at stake if we don’t try)

Anytime you endeavor to do anything worthwhile, you will meet with resistance.

And while this resistance may take the form of actual obstacles, often it’s our own fear that is the most formidable of them. Because this fear makes the roadblocks appear much more imposing and immovable than they really are.

The good news is that any obstacle you impose upon yourself is within your power to overcome. You must simply decide what you want is more important than your fear. Acting on that courage unlocks something within yourself in much the same way that advancing to the next level of a video game gives you superpowers you didn’t have at the previous level.

It’s true that you have a lot more to lose in real life than you do in video games, but most of the things people are afraid of are far less likely and impactful than the consequences of holding out on the visions and dreams most precious to them.

That’ll kill you silently over time and suck the joy out of living.

A funny thing happens when you muster up the courage to act despite your fear, doubts and resistance. You gain the confidence and competence necessary to respond to challenges in ways you never thought you could, and the resilience to bounce back from any setback and start again.

And you learn and accomplish things that dramatically improve the quality of your own life as well as everyone around you.

Once you learn to work through your fear and other obstacles, you inspire others to do the same.

Every great accomplishment is a result of someone moving through their resistance to go beyond what they’ve done before and achieve what many never dreamed possible.

3 Fundamental Truths to Help You Become What You Most Admire

When Halloween rolls around, it invites the question: if you could be anything for one evening, what would it be?

The tradition invokes a feeling of fantasy. Whether your answer is a super hero or a villain or something in between, the very act of asking the question and imagining a response reminds us that we have the ability, even if for a simple costume party, to explore aspects of ourselves that want to be expressed.

And the invitation to step into a new way of experiencing the world (or projecting what the world experiences of us) doesn’t have to wait for Halloween or stop when it’s over.

Have you ever secretly dreamed of becoming something different than what you are right now? Maybe you’d like to be more of a strategic player, become more visible, make a bigger impact, or lead more people. Perhaps you have visions of learning a new skill, working in a different industry, or serving a different customer base. Or maybe you’d simply like to step into a new way of living and leading – one that allows you to be more confident, calm, and engaging, or less stressed, pressured and anxious.

Regardless of the change you seek, you would not have the desire if you didn’t also have the capability to achieve it. As Napolean Hill once told us, “Whatever you can conceive and believe, you can achieve.” Moving from thought to reality requires that we embrace three simple, yet powerful truths:

• You don’t have to be born with an innate talent to do something in order to learn it,
• You don’t have to eliminate anxiety and doubt in order to perform well, and
• You don’t have to sacrifice who you truly are in order to become who you want to be.

Let’s dig a little deeper into each of these.

You don’t have to be born with an innate talent in order to learn it.

On its face, this statement seems fairly obvious. After all, none of us knew how to walk or talk when we were babies. Many of the things you know how to do today were things you had no idea how to approach at some point in your past. While it is true that some of the things you learned over the course of your life came more easily to you than others, with practice and persistence you were able to increase your proficiency and improve your desired results.

You may think you don’t have the aptitude to learn or become certain things. But the problem may be more in what you are believing than anything. In her ground-breaking book Mindset: The New Psychology of Success, Carol Dweck discusses two different approaches to learning a new skill. Some people operate from a “fixed mindset”, considering talent to be an inborn trait for some (but not others). Others operate with a “growth mindset” which allows for the possibility of learning something that doesn’t come naturally to them. Her research shows that those in the latter group consistently outperform those in the former.

The fundamental difference comes in how those mindsets impact your behavior. With a fixed mindset, you’ll dread failure because you believe it is a reflection of your innate abilities. However, with a growth mindset you’ll be more likely to see things not going well at first as an opportunity to learn and grow in ways that improve your performance. A fixed mindset will lead you to quit before you even start, while a growth mindset will impel you to continue to practice, learn and improve.

The words of Henry Ford come to mind, whether you think you can or you think you can’t, you’re right.

But that doesn’t mean it will come easily, which leads to the next fundamental truth we must embrace.

You don’t have to eliminate anxiety and doubt in order to perform well.

Chances are that whatever you aspire to become is something that is beyond your current zone of comfort. If it wasn’t, you’d already be doing it. As I wrote in The Pinocchio Principle: Becoming a Real Leader, anytime you endeavor to make a change in your life, you will be met with resistance. Whether that resistance takes the form of anxiety or doubt or plain old yellow-bellied fear, no amount of careful learning and preparation will completely alleviate it.

Many of us (myself included) have spent years attempting to hone and refine our skill from a mental level before ever attempting to execute. The irony is the that most impactful and effective way to learn is often to simply do. In doing, we discover what works and what doesn’t and gain an intuitive feel for what we need to adapt to achieve the success we desire. Through trial and error our skill and effectiveness grow.

But the anxiety and the doubt and that little voice in your head that incessantly rattles on in ways that lead you to question your ability and your nerve will continue. If you can see those feelings as signs of progress that you are stepping up your game, you can perform in spite of them – and maybe even begin to appreciate them.

You can also learn to recognize that little nagging voice for what it is: a product of your thoughts and nothing more. As you stop giving it so much of your energy and attention, you may find that you can coexist with it in the same way you tolerate any other irritating but seemingly harmless disturbances, like a rattle in your car or an annoying commercial on the radio.

Sometimes that little voice will ask, “who do you think you are?” which leads us to the third fundamental truth we must embrace to move from desire to reality.

You don’t have to sacrifice who you truly are in order to become who you want to be.

The idea of dressing up implies that we are putting on a mask that eclipses our true identify. But often the things we desire to explore are actually innate parts of ourselves that are ready to emerge. We are drawn to people who exemplify the qualities we want to emulate. Sometimes we are even envious of them.

It is important to honor our own evolution by giving credence to our desire to grow and change and allowing those desires to guide us. They key to being authentic and true to ourselves is to listen to the beat of our own drummer rather than allowing the sheer force of our accumulated patterns, habits and the expectations of others determine our identity. Often the way we have behaved or expressed ourselves over the course of our lives is more a product of what we’ve always done than who we truly are.

So when the idea of trying something new, or exploring a different way of showing up in the world is appealing to you, indulge yourself and see what happens. Finding your own authentic expression is a matter of fine tuning. Try something and see how it feels. You can start by emulating what someone else has done. And then add your own twist. Let go of or tweak what doesn’t work and do more of what feels good to you.

This is what the most impactful of leaders have done throughout the course of history. They start by leading themselves – listening and indulging the desires of their hearts, believing in their ability to grow, evolve and achieve, and finding their own unique expression. And in so doing, they serve as leaders to the rest of us.

So don’t let the fantasy and fun of Halloween stop when October ends. Ask yourself what you’d most like to become and don’t be afraid to see where it takes you. In the words of George Eliot, “It is never too late to be what you could have been.”

If you are interested in more strategies for getting clarity on what you would most like to accomplish, create or become, as well as steps to help you close the gap between desire and reality, download my special report, Why Real Leaders Don’t Set Goals (and what they do instead).

Let purpose reignite your progress

 

Have you ever had a really hard time getting something done? Something big?

When you’re up against a large task or project, it’s easy to become overwhelmed by the details and magnitude of what is before you. And when the project you’re working on requires you to do something new and uncomfortable, it often elicits fear, frustration, and anxiety.

In what is often an unconscious attempt to regain control, we are easily lulled into doing things that we know will be easier and potentially more enjoyable.

Some tasks don’t really need to get done right now (or ever) or should really be delegated to others, but we often prefer those. And then there are the popular time-wasters: surfing the web, making idle conversation, cleaning out your inbox, or my personal favorite – making more lists of everything you think must get done and identifying all the steps you need to take.

That is actually a great thing to do when you’re focused, but in procrastination mode, it becomes planning to plan (and then plan some more) until you have a rock-solid strategy that you never actually execute.

It may feel like you are spinning your wheels – running faster than ever but not getting anywhere.

To break out of that crazy cycle, take some time to revisit your purpose or the larger mission or goal behind what you are doing.

• Get clear about what (or who) the work is for.
• Identify how it will improve the quality of life for yourself or those around you.
• Reflect on the degree to which it will contribute to something greater or allow you to achieve a meaningful goal.

Write it down.

Add to it as you think of additional bonuses. Then, sit for a moment and see if you can envision what it would feel like to satisfy that larger purpose, vision, or goal. See if you can feel it so clearly that you are actually grateful for it.

This simple act will help you reconnect with something inside you that will propel you beyond the minutia. It will give you the courage and strength to walk through your fear or resistance to do something you may not be so good at yet. And it will help you to get back to the joy that comes through the process as well as the attainment of the end goal.

When you approach things this way, all you do will be instilled with a new energy – one that uplifts, delights, and inspires.

Whatever you experience as you work on a project will be what people feel when they partake of the fruit of your efforts. The more you remember this, the more you’ll experience the satisfaction and gratification of having done something truly meaningful that lifts you out of the humdrum and into a place of brilliance.

And all who encounter your work will be better off because of it.