I couldn’t find what I needed, so I created it

 

It was summer of 2004. I had 3 kids under the age of 7. I was working full time. And I was under the illusion that I could be all things to all people. It was a “success formula” that had helped me get ahead for the majority of my life, and I had doubled down on it again and again.

But it wasn’t working anymore.

I was the lead on several prime projects – stuff I’d always dreamed of working on. I’d been given a promotion to do high profile work. I was blessed with a happy marriage and beautiful, healthy children who I love more than anything in the world. By all appearances I was successfully juggling a multitude of balls in the air and seemed to have it fairly well handled.

What most people could not see is that I was struggling… working harder than ever but not really getting anywhere.

I was exhausted. My mind felt dull. Everything took longer. Decisions were harder. And the work I once loved began to feel like a giant burden that was sucking the life out of me.

I didn’t know what to do about it.

As a lifelong learner, I sought solutions that would help me out of my funk. The traditional leadership development resources not only failed to deliver but made me feel worse. I became even more compelled to keep digging the hole that I feared would completely swallow me up.

It’s been said that sometimes you need to create what you most want to be a part of.

I didn’t realize what I was experiencing back then was the precursor of what my life’s work would ultimately have me doing. I had to find guidance in less obvious places and learn to mine my experiences for the insights that would ultimately become keys to my freedom.

And since that time, I’ve had the distinct honor and privilege of working with multitudes of high-achieving executives who are having (or are on the verge of) soul sucking experiences just like mine – and those who want to proactively keep that from happening altogether.

Reflecting on what I’ve seen in my own life and those of the people I’ve been blessed to work with over the years has led me to a realization that becomes stronger each and every day…

The time has come for us to find and institute a better way of living, working, and leading.

That truth has guided me in developing my most recent offering, The Real Leader Academy. I filmed a 6-minute video about it that you can check out below. Be sure to watch the last half as that is where you’ll get all the details and a peek inside the Academy.

It is possible to do great work, enjoy your life both on and off the job, and lead in ways that inspire others to rise to new levels along with you.

Here’s to your success!

Diane

P.S. For more details on the Academy, go to www.RealLeaderAcademy.com.

Life is meant for more than checking boxes…

 

Can you remember the last time you were so excited about something that you could feel the hair on your arms or the back of your neck stand up? Or the giddiness of a five-year-old at the prospect of visiting an amusement park?

Maybe it got you out of bed in the morning or put a little spring in your step.

When the promise of a future state brings a smile to your face or makes your heart beat a little faster, lean in. Give yourself to the dream – and the dream will give itself to you, taking on a life of its own in ways that will surprise and delight you.

Author, philosopher, and civil rights activist Howard Thurman once said, “Don’t ask what the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive and go do it. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive.”

I couldn’t agree more.

Over the last couple years, I’ve been working on a passion project of my own – a career’s worth of seemingly disjointed but synchronistically connected experiences that have come together in delightful ways. You can check it out here.

What is calling to you right now? And how can you make the space necessary for it to reveal itself to you in all its grandeur?

Here’s to pouring some life into your passion projects!

 

Why SMART Goals are Often Dumb

 

Goals are something we are encouraged to stick to. But sometimes the goals we set for ourselves no longer match the direction we find ourselves wanting to go.

Early in my career I (like many driven professionals) was prone to setting SMART goals. You know, “Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Relevant and Timebound”. It’s the conventional teaching we have all heard before.

But after time I came to realize that this approach leaves much to be desired – that in fact, it can actually keep us from getting where we most want to go.

When a goal no longer serves you and you stop wanting to pursue it, you may feel as though you’ve failed. However, the real failure might well be what happens when you stick to a goal that is no longer a fit with what you want, who you are, and the person you are becoming.

Getting where you want to go requires that you have an intense desire to get there. The pleasure and satisfaction of your destination — and your journey — needs to be greater than the pain and discomfort you will endure to get there.

What might start out as a very compelling goal may lose its appeal when your priorities change, and your very preferences and passions begin to change and evolve as well. Sometimes goals that were relevant and appropriate at one point in time will no longer serve you at another.

People grow and evolve at a pace that may not be aligned with the time frames identified in a SMART goal. When you lock yourself into achieving a particular goal, it can become a blinder that keeps you from recognizing and acting on a course of action that is far more aligned with who you really are and want to be.

If you are someone who regularly sets goals, take a moment to determine whether your current goals are working for you. Do they reflect what you really want? …how you are evolving as a person? Do they inspire you — or constrain you?

And whether you have set goals or not, consider the essence of what you most want to achieve, create, or become. Perhaps it is not yet concrete, but rather an inkling of something that is calling to you.

There is wisdom in your desire, even if you cannot yet quantify it, break it down in tangible ways, or even articulate it. In fact, sheer inklings and aspirations can become powerful seeds for the most innovative and ground-breaking accomplishments.

If you’d like more on how to gain the clarity necessary to envision and chart a path to your desired future, download my special report, “Why Real Leaders Don’t Set Goals (and what they do instead)”.

 

Do You Dare to Dream?

 

As children, most of us received mixed messages. You may have been encouraged to follow your heart and give life to your dreams in addition to being conditioned to be practical, hedge your bets, and take the safest route. Over time, many of us have allowed the roar of public opinion – that often tells us our dreams are frivolous, selfish, and unlikely to come to fruition – to silence that small still voice within.

But those among us who have risen against their odds have learned to reverse that process and believe in themselves and their dreams despite the overwhelming evidence around them that would suggest that success is improbable.

Listen closely to the silent whispers of your heart that beckon you to think bigger and act bolder – and to bust out of old paradigms that feel stale or stagnant.

Do what you can to gain clarity on what they are telling you.

And then take action.

For more on taking steps to bridge the gap between where you are and where you want to be – and to receive updates on an upcoming webinar that’ll help you make the most of 2026, download my special report, “Why Real Leaders Don’t Set Goals (and what they do instead)”.

Harness the Power of Your Heart’s Desire

 

We are often encouraged to set goals before we even have a vision of what we want to accomplish. But doing so deprives us of the dream that provides the fuel necessary to achieve those goals.

As you contemplate the year ahead, consider the essence of what you most want to achieve, create, or become.  Perhaps it is not yet concrete, but rather an inkling of something that is calling to you.

Every great accomplishment begins with a dream and a vision.  It requires imagination and an openness to receive its gifts.  As Albert Einstein once told us, “Imagination is everything. It is the preview of life’s coming attractions.”

And imagination is big and amorphous – it’s not easily captured, quantified, or broken down.  It is something that must be welcomed and nurtured.  The reward of having done so is that it will reveal itself to you in ways that make you feel alive with possibility.

There is wisdom in your desire – even if you cannot yet quantify it, break it down in tangible ways, or even articulate it. In fact, sheer inklings and aspirations can become powerful seeds for the most innovative and ground-breaking accomplishments.

What is your vision? And how can you breathe life into it?

If you’d like more on how to gain the clarity necessary to envision and chart a path to your desired future – and to receive updates on an upcoming webinar that’ll help you make the most of 2026, download my special report, “Why Real Leaders Don’t Set Goals (and what they do instead)”. 

 

 

Do it because you LOVE it

 

This week’s video was recorded in the spur of the moment – when I was hit with an epiphany about what allows people to be both successful AND happy. It felt worth sharing, despite the background noise and absolute lack of makeup.

When you click on the image below, you’ll be taken to my LinkedIn page, where the video is posted.

While you’re there, connect with me if you haven’t already. It would be wonderful to have you as part of my professional network.

Here’s to happiness and success – and doing what you love because you love it!

Diane

Unexpected lessons from my cable guy

 

It was one of those days where I had way more to do than time to do it. And my internet was out. The cable guy showed up early and I was happy to see him, though I knew from previous experience this likely wouldn’t be a quick process.

David had a twinkle in his eye and a familiar way about him. Though I hadn’t ever met him, you would never have known that from the way he interacted. He made casual banter while going about his work disconnecting cords and dismantling equipment, the way someone who could do it in his sleep would.

He mused philosophical, reflecting on what a waste of energy getting worked up in traffic is and letting something that bothers you fester and occupy the space of your day. Then he went on to demonstrate in his own unique way what coming back to seize the simplicity of the moment looks like as he continued to troubleshoot the equipment.

Though my cluttered mind reminded me of all the things I could (should?) be doing while he took care of the job he was there to do, something led me to mentally set it all aside and join him in his reverie.

David told me stories of conversations he’d had with other customers who had apparently done the same – people who were getting all spun up had found ways to release their angst and see things differently after simply engaging with him. He relayed stories of being in the service and having the same kind of interactions with his comrades and superiors.

And he shared a conversation he’d recently had with his daughter, who was frustrated about the unusual quantity of rain we’d been getting over the last several days.

He paused to show me a picture on his phone of what appeared to be a placid lake softly reflecting the moon and stars and colored lights that hovered around it the way an impressionist’s painting would portray. It was a comforting scene of peace and tranquility.

“My daughter loves this,” he said. And I loved it too.

When his daughter had finished lamenting the inconvenience of the rain, he reminded her of that picture – something he had sent her a day or two earlier. And he explained that it was a reservoir they both drove by all the time, a sight which was quite unremarkable when it was dry.

He pointed out that the picture she loved was full of the very rain that was bringing her down.

David’s face beamed as he put his phone back in his pocket and returned his attention to testing the new equipment he had just installed, his work in my space almost done.

Every once in a while, someone or something comes along to bring you back to a place of presence. It’s an experience that interrupts the automatic and unconscious patterns that keep us from seeing beyond the mundane, trap us in our heads, and have us running to do things we’ve completely disconnected from without even realizing it.

David did that for me on that day. And I often reflect on the experience as a reminder that the people we interact with, the things we do, the very routines we engage with every day have a level of depth and beauty that we all too easily miss. That is, unless we make the decision to open our eyes, our hearts, and our minds to see beyond appearances and be in the moment.

Thank you David Rogers, for reconnecting me with the power of presence and perspective – and changing the trajectory of a day that may have otherwise had me racing to the end in a haze that would keep me from remembering what I even did.

And also, thank you for fixing my internet.

Want to do more? Start by doing less.

 

Want to Do More? Start by Doing Less

We are a goal driven society that is conditioned to seek more.

Our egos desire more money, more fame and prestige, and more stuff. But a deeper part of ourselves longs for more peace, more meaning, and more purpose in our lives. We want to move beyond our previous realizations of what we’ve already accomplished to master newer, better ways of doing things – whether that be what we create in our lives or in our organizations – and as leaders what we can inspire others to do as well.

What if you started with less instead of more?

Just for a moment, consider what you need to let go of to create the space for something new to come in.

You can take your cues from nature. We are officially in the first week of fall – a time of letting go and preparing for regeneration.  Trees shed their leaves, and the energy of plants is directed toward developing a strong root system that’ll help it make it through the winter.

As the days will grow shorter and we spend more time in the dark, it’s fitting to reflect on things you may not be able to see but feel welling up within you.

What are you holding onto that has run its course?

• What are the old, outmoded ways of doing things that no longer bring you energy?
• What things have you acquired that you no longer need?
• What beliefs are you holding onto that are no longer true for you?

In moments that you feel constricted, anxious, or tired ask what you can let go of. Don’t be afraid of the answer. Though it may be uncomfortable because it introduces an element of the unknown, following these insights will always lead to freedom and liberation.

Your computer can only handle so much data, and the same is true of you.

If you don’t delete old emails and files and continue to add new programs without uninstalling old ones, you’ll find that it becomes sluggish and unresponsive. Just as freeing up space allows your computer to process things more quickly, so too will clearing your own personal space (whether of things or thoughts) allow you to access new levels of clarity and creativity.

Space brings freedom.

You’ll breathe easier, be more present in every action and interaction you partake of and bring more of who you really are to what you do. And you’ll open the space of possibility that allows something to come in that may surprise and delight you.

Any work you do on yourself will serve as a form of leadership for others who, like you, seek their own answers and could benefit from your example of unearthing what is possible and allowing it to take form in new and unexpected ways.

Discerning what is and isn’t working and up leveling your game becomes easier and more fun when you have support. When you are ready to go deeper, check out UnleashtheExtraordinary.com.

Don’t let them stop you

 

Ever have a conversation that stopped you in your tracks? This video is about one of those pivotal moments that took the wind out of my sails for a while – until I realized I could generate the energy I needed from a different source. Maybe you can relate…

For more on overcoming life’s potential showstoppers, visit UnleashtheExtraordinary.com.

Here’s to your success!

Diane

My Cringe Worthy Epiphany

 

I almost didn’t post this video. It was filmed back in June – and I initially cringed when I reviewed it. But in the spirit of learning and growth, I decided to share it anyway…

I was in the middle of creating my series on learning to break habits that are hurting you.  And I had this experience that made me realize how we get stuck in habits that work against us in the first place.

It’s kind of embarrassing. But you know what? That’s life.

Often, it’s those awkward, even humiliating moments that provide us with insight, wisdom, or at the very least a little levity.

Maybe you will relate…

To your success!

Diane