All posts by Diane
How to Stay Cool When Things Get Hot at Work (and life itself)
There are those days…
You know the ones – when everything seems to hit the fan all at once. Sometimes it’s just work, and other times it happens across other areas of your life too. Maybe it’s a bad day. But it could be a tough week, tough month, tough… year?
In times like that, it’s like someone turned up the heat and left it on full blast far too long (kind of like the record-breaking temperatures we had in Phoenix over the entire month of July).
Everything seems to take more effort than it used to. The pressure increases and your energy declines. It might be so hot that you lose your cool and become impatient with people and things (or yourself) in a way that makes things even worse.
If you can relate to any of this, you’ll likely enjoy my latest article in Brainz Magazine, How to Survive Tough Times at Work – Three Tips to Help You Come Out On Top.
And if you’d like more on how to not only survive but thrive during your most challenging times (both at work and at home), check out The Pinocchio Principle Unleashed: The Real Leader’s Guide to Accessing the Freedom & Flow of Your Authentic Genius. Registration is now open!
This program integrates much of the work I’ve done coaching executive clients over the last 25+ years into a thirteen-week curriculum and is especially appropriate for high-achieving professionals experiencing high levels of stress, pressure, and overwhelm.
The fall session will kick off on Thursday 8/31 and run through 11/16. To maximize individualized attention and group interaction, enrollment will be limited to ten people and will close on Friday 8/18.
Learn more and reserve your seat here. Attend with a friend or colleague and you’ll both get $500 off the registration (email me to take advantage of that.)
Want to talk to a real person to get your questions about the program answered? Click here to schedule a brief call directly with Diane.
Here’s to keeping your cool and performing at your best – even in the hottest of times!
How to Have More Good Days at Work – and at Home
Work. Some days are good, and others not so much… Just like life, right?
Since we spend so many of our waking hours working, it’s likely that a good day at work will spill over into your life after work. Unfortunately, a not-so-good day will do that too.
You can’t always change what comes at you in your professional life, but there are some things you can do to have a better experience of it.
What’s interesting is that improving your experience of work won’t just allow you to enjoy your life more. It can also boost your performance, leading not only to greater satisfaction and fulfillment – but also increased effectiveness and better results.
This week’s video expands on that idea and gives you a simple example of how to have more good days at work – and at home. The audio is a snippet of some opening comments from a recent Pinocchio Principle Unleashed group session.
If you enjoy it and want more, I encourage you to check out the full program here: The Pinocchio Principle Unleashed – The Real Leader’s Guide to Accessing the Freedom & Flow of Your Authentic Genius. Registration for the fall session will open soon, and priority enrollment will be given to those on the waiting list.
We all have plenty of work in our lives. Here’s to putting more life into our work – and watching both grow infinitely richer!
FULL VIDEO TRANSCRIPT
One day when my son was 8 years old, he came home from camp with a riddle. He said, “Pretend you’re in a box with four walls all around you and it’s airtight. There’s no handles and no latches. How do you get out?”
“Hmm, I responded. “I don’t know. I think I would punch my way out.”
He said “No.”
“Okay, then I’d use my legs. I’d kick my way out.”
“No.” He was emphatic.
I thought for a moment. “Hmm. Maybe I’d try to chew my way out.”
He was getting more and more irritated with me. “No.”
I was out of ideas, “I don’t know. I give up. How do you get out?”
“Mom,” he said. “If you’re pretending you’re in a box with airtight walls, the way you get out is you STOP PRETENDING.”
Wow, this from an eight year old.
It’s crept into my thinking several times over the years because I think it’s such a great analogy for what we do.
How Beliefs Can Become Boxes
We have these beliefs…
Have you ever thought about how your belief about work shapes your experience of work? To a large degree, we’re pretty much conditioned to believe that work is not supposed to be fun – that work is something that you do in order to earn a living, pay your bills, feed your family, and be a responsible human being. Work is something that you do and you just get through it.
And living… well, living is what you do after work, right?
It’s part of our societal conditioning. Have you ever noticed that?
You Can Break Out of Your Box
The people who enjoy their work are people who have realized that doesn’t have to be true.
“What if I didn’t think that? What if I approached it differently? What if I thought of work as an opportunity for me to do something cool, to contribute to something bigger than me? What if I thought of work as an opportunity to be around people or to partner with people that I really enjoy, or that are really interesting to me, or that I can learn from? What if I think of work as a way that I can somehow grow?”
What a novel idea.
Work is What You Make It
What’s interesting is that people who believe work is a chore, experience it that way. And they get bogged down, and they have so much to do, and they feel like they’re never going to be able to finish it. And it’s one more thing and everything’s going wrong. And then there’s this and there’s that and they can’t wait to go home.
And that person could be working side by side with somebody who believes – even just for that day, even just for that moment, that work is something different. And they will have a whole different experience. They will tell you something entirely different.
It’s not that they won’t have a whole boatload of work to do. It’s not that they won’t have pressure or deadlines and people relying on them and more to do than there’s time to do.
But there’s something about people who believe different things about work that changes the way they interact with everybody. EVERYBODY.
Learning How to Have More Good Days at Work is About Making a Choice
If you think about the last time you went even just to get a cup of coffee… the difference between somebody taking your order that never makes eye contact with you, that’s having kind of a crappy day, that is kind of wearing it on their body and the way that you feel when they serve you…
…the difference between that and somebody who when you walk in, looks you in the eye and asks you how you’re doing and maybe shares something funny or is genuinely interested in you. And really you can tell that when they ask you how you are, it’s not just part of their script. There’s something about their presence that is with you.
I guarantee you they are having a better day than the other person… not because anything different is going on, but because they made a choice to see work differently.
Make YOUR choice.
For more, visit www.UnleashtheExtraordinary.com
IT’S OFFICIAL…!
I’m excited to announce that I’ve recently been accepted as an Executive Contributor for Brainz Magazine! Over the coming months, I’ll be writing regular articles about leadership, business, and mindset for Brainz readers to enjoy – I’ll be sure to share them with you all here too.
WHAT IS BRAINZ MAGAZINE?
Brainz Magazine is a fast-growing global digital publication covering Business, Lifestyle, Mindset, Sustainability, and Leadership topics. The editorial teams have a strong understanding of what their readers are interested in, and the magazine reaches over 300,000 people every week, spanning over 65 countries!
Brainz Magazine is known for inviting top entrepreneurs, small and medium-sized companies, scientists, and influential leaders to contribute to the magazine, which they hand-pick for their expertise. I’m thrilled to have this opportunity to join them – and to connect you with their work as well.
MY FIRST ARTICLE FOR BRAINZ MAGAZINE – ARE YOU FEELING THE BURN?
If you’re struggling to balance the demands of your busy life and feeling overwhelmed, you’re not alone. Burnout is a serious issue that can have a negative impact on your health, well-being, and productivity. And research indicates it is affecting more of us than ever before.
My first article for Brainz Magazine, Can’t Afford to Slow Down? How to Stop Overwhelm and Prevent Burnout Before It Stops You, explores effective strategies to prevent burnout and manage overwhelm, so you can stay focused and energized. Click the link to read the full article and learn how to take control of your work and life – and better lead others to do the same.
I’ll continue to share future Brainz articles that I publish, as well as ongoing videos and posts I’ll keep creating just for you.
HOW CAN I BETTER SERVE YOU?
On that note, I’m curious… what questions, challenges, opportunities, or issues can I help you with? If there’s something you’d like to hear about, let me know and I’ll do my best to address it in an upcoming video, article, or post.
I look forward to hearing from you and am grateful for the chance to serve you.
Here’s to your success!
Diane
Why Being Stuck on Autopilot will Keep You Locked in Overwhelm – and How to Break Out of It
I’ve been thinking lately about how much time we all tend to spend stuck on autopilot. You know, that state where you’re going through the motions, checking boxes, running around doing things… but not really accomplishing all that much.
It’s a state of unconsciousness that leaves you wondering where the day went. Sometimes you may not even remember what you ate for lunch, or how the time just got sucked away.
And when you have a lot on your plate, being stuck in autopilot also means you’ll likely end your days in frustration about how little you got accomplished. And wake up the next day feeling like you’re already behind.
But what if there’s a way to break out of that rut and get back on a path that is not only productive, but enjoyable and satisfying as well?
This week’s video will give you some tips for consciously reclaiming your day and effectively accomplishing your most important tasks with ease and grace.
FULL TRANSCRIPT
Hi there. Diane Bolden, executive coach and author of the Pinocchio Principle: Becoming a Real Leader –How to Unleash Genius in Yourself and Those You Lead.
Have you ever gotten to the end of a day where you felt like you just didn’t do the things that you really wanted to get done? And then you wake up the next morning feeling like you’re already behind and perpetuating that same state of overwhelm, that frustration, that irritation that you had the day before.
Why autopilot is a problem
It’s really easy to get stuck in autopilot. And the problem with autopilot is whatever it is that you’re doing is going to be repeated on an ongoing basis. Checking boxes and trying to get through the day and feeling overwhelmed doesn’t necessarily bode itself well to high levels of productivity, to creativity, to ingenuity or to satisfaction and fulfillment.
But what if you could break through that? What if you could have an entirely different experience? What if you could interrupt that autopilot pattern and in its place access a zone where you’re productive or you’re enjoying the work that you’re doing or you’re able to access creativity and think outside of the box?
Well, today I want to share with you a tip that you can try to do just that.
The physical laws that contribute to autopilot and overwhelm
Autopilot is largely a product of the law of inertia which essentially states that an object will remain in motion or at rest unless acted upon by an external force in a way that changes the trajectory. So, if you need to change your trajectory, you’ve got to do a bit of a pattern interrupt.
And there’s another reason why this is so important and that is another law of physics, that basically states things that are similar attract each other. And it’s not necessarily just things, but also thoughts. So, when you’re in a state of overwhelm, when you’re in a state of frustration and irritation and worry and anxiety, chances are likely that you’re going to continue to think in ways that perpetuate that state and you’re going to continue to act in ways that perpetuate that state as well. And if you’re not getting results, you’re likely to continue not getting results and then fretting about having not achieved all the things you really wanted to do.
When you’re stuck in autopilot and overwhelm, try a pattern interrupt
When you do a pattern interrupt, essentially, the best thing to do is to flash forward and to start with the end in mind – to identify for yourself, what would it feel like if you were to get to the end of your day and actually accomplish what you set out to do? Can you imagine feeling that rush of gratitude, of satisfaction, of accomplishment? Can you imagine being able to end your workday and go on to spend time with your family or your friends in a way that you weren’t distracted by the things that were still gnawing at you from work?
Start with the end in mind
Take that feeling a step further. Try and identify – what are the most critical things that you need to have done today? And try to pick no more than three to five things that are really, really important to you. Now take some time to do a little writing – not about the tasks that have yet to be done but see if you can flash forward to the end of your day. See if you can envision that you’ve time traveled and that you’re already the version of yourself that has achieved those critical things you identified that are on your list.
See if you can write a note back to the current version of yourself, sharing with yourself how grateful you are that you were able to accomplish what really needed to be done and how much easier it was than you thought it would be, how relaxed and relieved you feel that you actually accomplished what needed to be done, and how grateful you are for the experience. See if you can capture that. Have fun with it, embellish it a little bit.
And when you’re done, go back to consciously starting your day from a whole different mindset and see what happens.
Bonus tip for when you’re stuck on autopilot
I can give you a tip that will help you to continue to perpetuate this new state of conscious intentional visioning all through your day. I encourage you to work in 50-minute spurts. Set a timer if you need to. Work for 50 minutes. See if you can focus yourself intently on whatever it is that you’re about to do. And at the end of 50 minutes, take at least 5 to 10 minutes to give yourself a little bit of a break. Get up and stretch. Walk around, maybe go outside, take some deep breaths, grab a glass of water, listen to some music, whatever it is that you need to do to give yourself a little bit of a rest and then to come back to your task feeling a little more refreshed.
And before you jump in for another 50 minutes, take a moment and review what you wrote to yourself – that letter from your future self talking about how great you felt after you accomplished all those things and get into that state of feeling. Get into that state of having already accomplished it so that now when you go back to actually doing it, it’s almost as though you’re reliving the memory of what it took in order to get there.
Try it for yourself
As I always tell people, don’t believe what I’m saying because I’m telling you. Try it for yourself and see what happens. I can almost guarantee you that you’ll accomplish a lot more than you thought you could just by starting with the end in mind, interrupting that pattern of autopilot so that you can be more conscious and intentional with your day.
A Simple Little Secret for Overcoming Inertia
Is there something you’ve been wanting to do that you just can’t get yourself to take action on? You may dream and scheme and even have a plan for moving forward. But for whatever reason you just haven’t been able to execute it. Overcoming inertia is a common challenge, and it can keep you from living your dreams. But it doesn’t have to.
You’re probably familiar with the law of inertia. According to Merriam Webster, inertia is “…the inherent property of a body that makes it oppose a force that would cause a change in its motion. A body at rest and a body in motion both oppose forces that might cause acceleration.”
So, anytime you aspire to do something different, whether changing a habit or behavior, beginning a new endeavor, or creating anything – overcoming inertia is going to be a necessary and unavoidable part of the process.
It’s a powerful force. Because it’ll lead you to believe that whatever you are about to do is going to be hard. And you may end up telling yourself stories that’ll keep you stuck. You might convince yourself that whatever you are about to do is too complicated. Or that it’ll require too much work. Or that you don’t have the talent, energy, or wherewithal to endure it.
But what if the secret to overcoming inertia is to actually use the principle of inertia itself?
What if all you had to do to launch your new endeavor, habit, behavior, creation – or whatever you aspire to do – is just take some small action?
What if you don’t need to have it all figured out? …all your ducks in a row? …a multi-phase plan that maps every requirement, every step, and every contingency?
What if all you need to do is just START something?
Open a word doc and start writing. Pick up the phone and make a call. Go for a walk. Just get into action – and create new momentum – that is in alignment with whatever you ultimately want to accomplish.
If inertia is a force that leads us to continue doing what we’ve done before, by definition even the tiniest change in trajectory will begin to create a new force in a different direction.
Perhaps in this way, the smallest of actions can ultimately lead to the biggest of changes.
I experienced the power of this myself a few weeks ago, on a cold February day. And on a whim, I filmed a little video to capture my epiphany…
FULL TRANSCRIPT
Hi, Diane Bolden, executive coach and author of “The Pinocchio Principle: Becoming a Real Leader.” And I just finished my morning ride. The thought hit me to shoot a video.
It’s cold here in Phoenix, which is crazy. I know. Wa, wa. But it was 35 degrees this morning, which is cold in Phoenix in February. And I did not want to get out of bed. And I did not want to ride the exercise bike. But I did it.
And I had an insight while I was riding that I wanted to share with you. What I realized is that it was hard to get on the bike because I was cold and I had to push through that resistance.
But now I’m warm. I’m actually kind of hot.
And I was thinking about how this is kind of like a metaphor for life… because whenever you start something new, you feel kind of cold. And you don’t want to. And there’s a lot of resistance.
[NOTE: Starting something new requires overcoming inertia – the momentum of whatever you were doing before that may be keeping you from doing what you’d like to do next. But… you can use the force of inertial to overcome inertia.]
And the more you give yourself to it – the more you allow yourself to kind of be in the game and push, (and I don’t mean push in a negative way, I just mean to get warm, to get your feet wet, to start something somewhere), what’s interesting is the environment doesn’t change…
It’s still very cold outside, and in here, but my body’s warmer and I have the ability to do things that I couldn’t do when I first woke up. And isn’t that just the same thing with life?
We start off and we’re cold. The environment doesn’t change, the circumstances don’t change. But if you allow yourself to get in the game and to get a little warm, and to move a little bit, you might find that you change.
And when you do, you’re capable of doing things you maybe didn’t think you could.
There Are No Missed Opportunities
Do you believe in “once in a lifetime opportunities”?
A lot of people will try to convince you to move on something because you’ll never have another chance…
Maybe you’ve even tried to convince yourself of that.
It creates a lot of pressure. And when you decide to pass something up, you may worry or regret what feels like missed opportunities. That can suck up a lot of wasted energy.
This week’s video will give you a different perspective – one that will save you a lot of frustration and help you to recognize that you may know more than you think you do.
FULL TRANSCRIPT:
Hi. Diane Bolden, Executive Coach and author of The Pinocchio Principle Unleashed – Becoming a Real Leader: How to Unleash Genius in Yourself and Those You Lead.
Have you ever regretted not taking action on something? Maybe it was something you’ve been wanting to do, but you just didn’t feel ready. Maybe the timing just wasn’t right. Maybe you just couldn’t get yourself to do it.
And then you might have beat yourself up or wondered, “Did I make the right decision?” Because there’s so much pressure put on us for not passing up that “once in a lifetime opportunity”.
But I don’t buy that. I don’t see life that way. Experiences in my own life, as well as that of many clients I’ve worked with bear a different truth – life doesn’t give up on us. And there are no missed opportunities.
Ancient philosopher/poet Rumi – “What you seek is seeking you.” So, if you’re meant to do something, you’ll have numerous opportunities to say yes. Like the waves in an ocean, one right behind the other.
Life prepares us for the grand things we do by giving us the not so grand little opportunities for growth. And when you’re not ready for something, you’ll have chances to prepare yourself.
And ultimately, many grand opportunities.
So, if something you really want hasn’t happened, or if you’ve passed up an opportunity to engage with it, don’t despair. You’re that much closer to the next one…
And it WILL come.
In the spirit of there being no missed opportunities… though the spring session of The Pinocchio Principle Unleashed is now full, you can get on the waiting list for fall. And if you’re interested in bringing the program in house, inquire at Support@DianeBolden.com.
Ever Feel Like Work is a Chore?
A third of your time on the planet is spent at work. Why would you do something that makes you feel… dead before your time?
So many of us feel like work is a chore, which Merriam Webster defines as “an unpleasant but necessary task”. It gets lumped in there with all the other things we dread but make ourselves do anyway – washing dishes, picking up the dog (or cat) poop, taking out the trash.
It’s interesting that Webster’s definition of the word “work’ has a similar connotation: “a task or tasks to be undertaken; something a person has to do”.
So, you could argue that the words “work” and “chore” go hand in hand. And if your previous experiences validate a belief that work is a chore the association will be even stronger. So strong that it leads to a common expectation that work is a necessary evil, a thing to be endured, something laborious and heavy.
Neuroscientific research has shown us that it is often our expectations themselves that shape our experience of reality. And that can keep you stuck in a perpetual loop of believing that work is a chore and a resulting experience that proves it to be true.
Over time, perpetual loops feel a lot like hamster wheels – you’ll expend a ton of energy, feel a lot of frustration, and not really get anywhere.
(And if you are a leader, you may be unintentionally setting that tone for your whole organization.)
But you can turn that all around and change your world for the better. It doesn’t require a lobotomy. And it doesn’t necessarily mean you need to quit your job. This video will give you a glimpse of just how easy that simple shift could be.
If you want more on revitalizing your work from the inside out, consider enrolling in the spring session of The Pinocchio Principle Unleashed: The Real Leader’s Guide to Accessing the Freedom & Flow of Your Authentic Genius. This exclusive 12-week leadership development program is now in its 7th year, with over a hundred happy alumni.
Participants for this video-based, small group coaching program are carefully selected and capped at no more than ten. Registration will open on February 15th, and priority will be given to those on the waiting list. For more information or to be considered for enrollment, go to www.UnleashtheExtraordinary.com.
Feeling stuck? Refocus on your GOAL…
Research indicates that 80% of New Year’s resolutions fail by the beginning of February. And if you’re thinking to yourself, “That’s why I don’t ever SET them,” you are not alone.
BUT… we all have goals and dreams and visions that are important to us. And achieving them isn’t always easy. If you’re feeling stuck or stymied, you may begin to get discouraged. You might judge yourself or beat yourself up – which certainly doesn’t help the situation.
But the solution for getting back in the game and on the path to achievement may not be as difficult as you think. Perhaps all you need do is refocus on your goal, or better yet shift your focus to something even more compelling…
This video is about getting back in the game after you’ve lost some of your steam – or when your best laid plans have gone awry. I’ve shared from my own personal experience (one that seems quite common) what I’ve found to be the biggest derailer – and how to avoid and/or overcome it.
Why refocus on your goal? Because your dreams, visions, and heartfelt intentions are too important to let feeling stuck get in the way. Watch the video to learn a powerful approach for getting out of the mire and back on the road to success.
And if you’d like more guidance on how to follow through on your most important intentions, visions and dreams – download my special report: Why Real Leaders Don’t Set Goals… (and what they do instead).
You’ll learn:
1.) why goals in and of themselves are insufficient
2.) a simple, compelling, and far more effective approach to achievement
3.) how to minimize the chance that your plans will be derailed
4.) how to master your mindset to achieve your dreams.
Here’s to your success!
This caught me off guard…
Quite ironically, right after I launched my newest on demand course on navigating change, challenge and uncertainty, I was hit by a sudden (and quite undesired) curve ball.
I filmed a little video before the holidays to capture some insights that came to me through the experience.
No matter how aspirational and planful you are as you usher in the new Year, life will inevitably bring unexpected twists and turns. My hope is that this video can help you bounce back from the kind of change you would never actually wish for yourself.
Eckharte Tolle once said, “Some changes look negative on the surface, but you will soon realize that space is being created in your life for something new to emerge.”
Here’s to EMERGING in 2023!
Diane
P.S. You can find my latest on-demand course here: Navigating Change, Challenge & Uncertainty: How to Unleash Unprecedented Performance in Unchartered Territory
3 Things I Learned in My Garage About Navigating Change
Sometimes the greatest insights come to you in the strangest places.
In the midst of inevitable twists and turns, I found myself in my garage…
…surrounded by relics of the past and inklings about the future.
And I realized a few things about the nature of change – and how best to endure it.
So I filmed a little video to capture these thoughts for you…