Taking Your Leap, Part I

This week’s post is the first of a two part article on listening to and answering your call to greatness. It is also an excerpt from my new book, The Pinocchio Principle: Becoming the Leader You Were Born to Be. If you are ready to take your leap, I invite you to call me at (602) 889-2329 for a complimentary coaching session to see how I can support you through your transformation. Stay tuned to hear more about a new program I am getting ready to roll out specifically designed to help you bust through the barriers that keep you from your greatest work.

Taking Your Leap, Part I

The call to something bigger is often ushered in by a period of discomfort, where one slowly begins to realize that the outer world does not match the inner one. We may begin to feel a sort of incongruence accompanied by increasing awareness of our current course of events and what it is all for. A greater purpose looms in the background, but the way things are set up doesn’t quite allow that vision to live. And so it is time for a change.

Some call this an awakening. Others call it a crisis. It is a doorway to greater meaning and contribution, and the beginning of a transformation that happens from the inside out.

Bouncing Back: Hope for the Hopeless

Have you experienced a disappointment or setback in your recent past that left you reeling? Have you found it difficult to get excited about things and maybe even felt like you needed to make a drastic change in order to bounce back?  If so, this week’s video post is just for you.  Below is a written version of what is in the video.

If you live in Phoenix, you may have noticed that a lot of shrubbery and trees froze over the winter.  They look like they are dead — all dried up and prickly – ugly.  I have a bougainvillea in my back yard that froze  — not a pretty sight.  It’s tempting to pull the whole thing out.   Because it looks like it is dead.  But I know that it is not, because this has happened in the past. And I know that once we trim all the dead stuff off, in the coming weeks, it will come back fuller and even more beautiful than it was last year.

That bougainvillea is a lot like us.  I think a lot of us have experienced what we would call a freeze in our lives at some point – maybe a layoff, a reorganization, or just having the rug pulled out from under you, where you think that nothing is the way you want it to be and you wonder how you will ever recover.  And I think some of us have been in a freeze for a really long time.  We’ve lost the passion in what we do.  We’ve lost the lightness in our step and maybe things have become a bit of a drudge.

You may think you have to change everything to bounce back, just like you might think you have to pull this tree out.  But really, there is wisdom in realizing that sometimes we have the opportunity to trim the dead stuff away and to recognize that there is something underneath it just waiting to break through.  And the freeze is neither good, nor bad.  It just is.  Whatever it is that may have happened to you or me in our past — it’s not good, it’s not bad — it just is.  What we need to realize that there is something within needing to break though and we have an opportunity to trim away the stuff that isn’t working anymore and have faith that in the spring we will bloom fuller, brighter and bigger than we did before.

For more on bouncing back:

Miracles in Disguise

From Frustration to Fruition

Bringing Leadership to Life

Leading Through Uncertainty

Embracing Life’s Uncertainty

Bouncing Back: Perserverance Personified

Leaping Into the Unknown

The Pinocchio Principle: Becoming the Leader You Were Born to Be

Bringing Leadership to Life

The following is an excerpt from my upcoming book, The Pinocchio Principle — Being Real:  Becoming the Leader You Were Born to Be, which will be released on 1/11/11 and will soon be available to pre-order.  I hope you enjoy it!

 Our foundations are shaking.  Corporations are going under.  People are losing their jobs and having difficulty finding new ones.  Frustration is finding its way into every crevice of our daily lives.  The ground that so many stand upon is crumbling.  It can be a scary time.  But these changes can also be an exciting time of adventure and reinvention.

For years, many of us have been living in ways that are inauthentic — doing jobs that are not a match for our true talents, striving to achieve pinnacles of power, prestige or wealth.  And each step has increased the chance of us falling further away from our true selves and from what truly satisfies and nourishes us.  As our foundation collapses, we are forced to ponder what is left, what truly has value, and what is actually genuine and meaningful in our lives.  This dissolving façade, while painful, enables something more powerful to emerge and bring with it gifts that will benefit all of humanity.  We are becoming real again.

With the dramatic changes the world is experiencing, perhaps now more than ever, it is time for each of us to recognize that we no longer need to rely on others to show us the way to genuine “success” — however it is to be defined.  We are wired for it.  It is in our blood, in our DNA, in our spirits.  We have everything we need to get there.  And to find ourselves, we must become engaged in the greatest adventure of our lives.  In fact, we have already begun this adventure, and through it we are reaching a place of creative tension, where the plot thickens and we are sitting on the edge of our seats to see what will happen next.  We are the stars of our own shows, the heroes of our own stories.

The changes for greater peace and true prosperity and the happiness we have been praying for are coming about.  Lasting change must come from the inside out.  Our world is made up of many nations, many communities, and at its core, many people.  The truest change must start from within each of us.  We can no longer wait for something or someone to rescue us, to solve all our problems, or to make right what is not working.

The greatest thing a leader can do is help us unearth our own authentic leadership so that we, in turn, can do the same for others.  True leadership is about bringing out the best in people.  We can all be leaders.  And we all must be.  There is something greater ready to emerge.  And it is within each of us.  It is the treasure we have been dancing around in our own backyards.

The old structures are crumbling to make way for the new.  And as uncomfortable and challenging as it is, this falling away is an essential part of our own renewal and liberation from whatever no longer serves us, to everything that allows us to bring to fruition our greatest visions and dreams.  Seeds cannot sprout from hardened ground.  The ground must first become soft and fertile.  And that is what is happening now.  The old protection mechanisms we relied upon may have kept away the things we feared, but they also kept us from our greatest selves.  In the end, we will realize we never really needed that protection anyway.  We are much stronger than we thought we were.  And now is the time to truly experience that strength, that fortitude, that determination, and that grace.

My new book, The Pinocchio Principle — Being Real:  Becoming the Leader You Were Born to Be is a road map to help you navigate the perils and possibilities of your personal odyssey.  Using Pinocchio as a metaphor, it blends wisdom, inspiration and humor and includes numerous stories and examples of personal and professional transformation as well as practical tips and tools that will help you become a true leader to others in the only way possible:  by starting with yourself.  To hear about free upcoming promotional events such as teleseminars, videos and speaking engagements, subscribe to my free monthly ezine at www.DianeBolden.com – you’ll also receive my free report on 10 Traps Leaders Unwittingly Create for Themselves – and How to Avoid Them.

Though comments are currently closed, please feel free to email me at Diane@DianeBolden.com with your feedback, questions and thoughts.  Have a specific challenge you’d like to see a post written about?  Let me know.  I’d love to hear from you!

Leading Through Uncertainty

How do I motivate and inspire my team in the midst of uncertainty that could lead to the whole department being eliminated?  I mean, I’m not even sure I’ll have a job myself!

This is a question a client of mine recently asked.  A tough one.  I didn’t have an immediate answer for him.  He didn’t want to blow smoke in their faces or hand them a bunch of rose colored glasses.  Nor should he.  It is a scary time for a lot of people right now.  And there are no easy answers.  But in times of uncertainty, it is more important than ever to rest in the certainty that each one of us has what it takes to rise above anything life may bring us.

This is what the greatest leaders have done throughout history.  It’s easy to lead when things are stable and successful.  It’s when all chaos breaks loose and the chances of survival are slim that the world’s heroes have risen up to help people remember who they are and to rise up to their most daunting challenges.

Here are three things to remember when you find yourself in a situation similar to the one my client was in:

(1) There is nothing that will come your way that you cannot handle.  If you want proof, consider the fact that you are still here.  Think back to the last struggle or setback you faced.  What did you do?  How did you get through it?  What did you learn?  In retrospect, what would you tell yourself in order to help you get through that?  And what will you tell yourself now?

Sometimes it helps to think of the worst case scenario.  What would you do?  Really.  What would you do?  If you sit with that question and allow yourself to remain calm, you will find an answer.  Because when you get quiet, you summon up that which is timeless within you – that which will not change with the uncertainty, but rather grow stronger in the face of it – your inner strength, resilience, creativity and ingenuity.  Benjamin Franklin said it well many years ago:  “To be thrown upon one’s own resources, is to be cast into the very lap of fortune; for our faculties then undergo a development and display an energy of which they were previously unsusceptible.”

Getting connected to your core strength is essential and must be done before you can provide any real inspiration and motivation to others.  Your confidence will emanate at a level that people will feel – before you even say a word.

(2)  Once you have reconnected with your own inner reserves, help others reconnect with theirs as well.  Extraordinary leaders have the ability to connect with people at a deeper level.  They see not only what each person they lead has done in the past, but also what they are capable of doing in the future.  In times of chaos and uncertainty, people need to be reminded of their strengths because trying times tend to lead us to doubt ourselves and forget how very capable and strong we really are.

Speaking to people in terms of what they are capable of as a group can be helpful, but speaking to each person individually will have a far more powerful impact.  Think about each person you lead.  What has he or she done in the past that has impressed you?  What natural talents have you noticed – what does each person do that seems to come easily?  What does each tend to do that has a positive impact on themselves and everyone around them?  Maybe it is a sense of humor.  Perhaps it is an ability to foresee obstacles no one anticipated and create a plan for overcoming them.  Maybe it is an ability to think outside the box, a dogged determination to make things work, or a natural tendency to partner with others.  What is it that gives you faith that no matter what happens, this person will rise above it?  Speak to it with sincere appreciation and encouragement.  Help that person to embody those qualities once again.

(3)  Keep people’s focus (including your own) on possibilities rather than frustrations.  As with everything in life, whatever we focus on has a way of becoming amplified.  When we allow ourselves to become consumed with fear and doubt, our brains have a way of finding things that feed those states and we find that there seems to be even more to be afraid of or frustrated by.  This phenomenon often happens without our conscious awareness, and it is a vicious cycle that can keep us falling deeper and deeper into despair.

Reversing this cycle requires a conscious effort.  When we notice we are feeling upset by a certain thought, the first step is to become aware of the thought that has caused the reaction and deliberately choose another one to focus on.  There is always something positive or hopeful to focus on.  Sometimes finding it takes a bit of work, but that effort will be met with rich rewards.  A man named Ambrose Redmoon once said “Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the judgment that something else is more important.”  We need to figure out what is more important – more worthy of our attention and energy and focus on that.  As we do, our innate talents and strengths have a way of rising to the occasion.

With any change that brings uncertainty, there is a process of renewal involved.  The old must fall way in order for the new to be revealed.  This is true in nature as well as in our communities, organizations and in our very selves.  We can focus on what we are losing and experience a great deal of sadness and grief, or we can focus on what is newly emerging around us – and within us.  Sometimes the most difficult changes are the very things we need to experience to get closer to what we really want in life.  We may not realize the gifts change and uncertainty bring for weeks, months, and even years.  But we can recognize how it has served us in the past and trust in the process, in each other, and in ourselves.

“What the caterpillar calls the end of the world the master calls a butterfly.” 

~  Richard Bach

 My new book, The Pinocchio Principle ~ Being Real: Becoming the Leader You Were Born to Be  is about reconnecting to your inner reserves and drawing upon them to give life to your greatest visions and dreams.  It will be released on January 11, 2011 and will soon be available to pre-order.  Stay tuned for more information and subscribe to my free monthly ezine at www.DianeBolden.com to hear about free upcoming events, videos and teleseminars – and to receive my free report on 10 Traps Leaders Unwittingly Create for Themselves – and How to Avoid Them.

Though comments are currently closed, please feel free to email me at Diane@DianeBolden.com with your feedback, questions and thoughts.  Have a specific challenge you’d like to see a post written about?  Let me know.  I’d love to hear from you!

Leader, Know Thyself

Feel like there’s got to be more to being a leader than running from meeting to meeting, repeatedly fixing the same problems, and beating your head against a wall trying to get people and things to change?

“You must be the change you wish to see in the world.” ~ Gandhi

We’ve all been to a lot of classes – whether on leadership or related subjects – where we sit passively and listen to someone teach us things from a workbook or a PowerPoint presentation. Some of these classes may have infused us with new ideas and inspirations, others may not have. Either way, the chief challenge is coming back to our daily work and implementing what we have learned. Class or no class, putting into practice the ideas and insights we get on a daily basis is a challenge. It is a challenge because it calls for us to integrate them into a way of doing things that we have established for ourselves over a long period of time.

In order to change, grow or improve in any way, we must consciously look at ourselves – at what is working and at what is not. Often we are so accustomed to running from project to project and meeting to meeting, that we aren’t even aware of the dynamics at play under the surface. This frenetic approach leads to a pattern of similar results, similar experiences, and inevitably similar frustrations, and often the feeling that there has to be more to it than this.

There is.

The truth is, you already possess within you the most significant core essentials you need in order to be successful. The question is, are you using them? And are you using them to the best of your ability? If the answer is no, it doesn’t matter how many new tools you acquire or methodologies you learn. Our chief challenge is not to continue looking to others for solutions and answers, but instead to take the time to tap that part of ourselves that remains our purest potential. The prerequisite for being an effective leader of others is to learn to lead ourselves.

This blog post is an excerpt from a longer article, titled “Leader, Know Thyself – Unearthing Your Best Work”.  Click here to read the full article, which includes practical steps for bringing out your best.  For more articles on Boosting Creativity, Productivity and Effectiveness, visit www.DianeBolden.com/solutions.  While you are there, you can subscribe to receive a new feature article each month.  You will also receive my free report on 10 Traps Leaders Unwittingly Create for Themselves – and How to Avoid Them.

A Change in Perspective

As I write this post, it is about 5:30 pm on a Wednesday afternoon and I’m sitting on my patio gazing over my back fence at a brand new twenty foot high three car garage that recently took the place of what used to be a spectacular mountain view.  I write about this incident because it set into motion some interesting and curious events that led me through an array of emotions.  My perspective initially produced sadness, irritation, anger and disgust, which gradually gave way to complacency and ultimately – though I never would have believed it – transformed not only into acceptance, but gratitude.

Now, believe me, if this post had been written the day after we met the man – a developer – who moved into the house across the alley from us – my tone and words would have been quite different.  We were shocked and outraged.  Wanting to be neighborly, my husband and I introduced ourselves.  With a very matter of fact manner , the man led us to his back yard and explained his plans.  Our efforts to become better acquainted were met with the words “You all are being very gracious, but it is not like I’m asking your permission.”  I remember watching his lips move but not quite receiving the impact of his words until we got back home and almost simultaneously uttered to each other – “Did he really say that?!”

To be fair, the man is a competitive water skier, and a large structure to house his equipment is apparently a necessity for him.  It is his property after all, and he has every right to build what he wants there – though it seems a bit peculiar that the new construction was reserved for his various vehicles while he apparently has elected to use the existing garage as his living quarters.  The other strange thing is that this monstrously high structure actually eviscerated his own view of the mountain – a detail that I didn’t actually notice until the initial anger subsided and my mind became curiously reflective.

But the event spun a whole series of reactions into play.  Over the initial few weeks after we met the man, we were consumed with bitterness which cast a long, dark shadow over our usually very happy household.  We couldn’t look out the window without feeling irritation and decided that we didn’t want to live in a continual state of anger.  So we began looking for a new house.  Our initial efforts were somewhat non eventful, but we did actually end up finding something not far from our old home that we really liked.  It was a short sale.  We made an offer that got accepted after what seemed like an excruciatingly long period of waiting during which we put our current home on the market for sale or lease.

When the sign went up in our front yard, I felt an intense sadness that grew more and more pronounced when people came into the house to view it.  My husband and I both were struck with how much we loved our home, the memories we shared in it (including watching all three of our children grow from babies to toddlers and beyond), and the things we did over the years to make it our own – not the least of which was a fairly substantial remodel.

The realization that we were actually moving was bittersweet.  There were many things the new house offered that the old one didn’t, and we were excited about the possibilities.  But we began to notice that the longer things played out, the less enamored we were and the more we became focused on what we would be losing.   Well, as luck would have it, the sellers defaulted on their contract and we ended up canceling the sale.

And now, I couldn’t be happier!  The monstrosity across the alley that once produced feelings of bitterness and resentment is a constant reminder for me to count my blessings and remember what is truly important in my life.  I am grateful to have a home at all – which I realize is more than many people have right now.  But I am most grateful  for the new appreciation and insight this change in perspective have given me on my power to frame and reframe the experiences that determine how I feel on any given day.  And to recognize that the old adage – home is where the heart is – is really true.  The degree to which my heart is open is exclusively dependent on me and everything I see really is a matter of perspective.  Makes me wonder what else I might be seeing that has an entirely new and empowering interpretation I have not yet landed on…