Could you be in your own way?

 

What if your most formidable obstacles are between your ears? This week’s video will help you overcome them.

For more on how to get out of your own way (and lead others to do the same), check out UnleashtheExtraordinary.com.

Here’s to your success!

 

Diane

Want to do more? Start by doing less.

 

Want to Do More? Start by Doing Less

We are a goal driven society that is conditioned to seek more.

Our egos desire more money, more fame and prestige, and more stuff. But a deeper part of ourselves longs for more peace, more meaning, and more purpose in our lives. We want to move beyond our previous realizations of what we’ve already accomplished to master newer, better ways of doing things – whether that be what we create in our lives or in our organizations – and as leaders what we can inspire others to do as well.

What if you started with less instead of more?

Just for a moment, consider what you need to let go of to create the space for something new to come in.

You can take your cues from nature. We are officially in the first week of fall – a time of letting go and preparing for regeneration.  Trees shed their leaves, and the energy of plants is directed toward developing a strong root system that’ll help it make it through the winter.

As the days will grow shorter and we spend more time in the dark, it’s fitting to reflect on things you may not be able to see but feel welling up within you.

What are you holding onto that has run its course?

• What are the old, outmoded ways of doing things that no longer bring you energy?
• What things have you acquired that you no longer need?
• What beliefs are you holding onto that are no longer true for you?

In moments that you feel constricted, anxious, or tired ask what you can let go of. Don’t be afraid of the answer. Though it may be uncomfortable because it introduces an element of the unknown, following these insights will always lead to freedom and liberation.

Your computer can only handle so much data, and the same is true of you.

If you don’t delete old emails and files and continue to add new programs without uninstalling old ones, you’ll find that it becomes sluggish and unresponsive. Just as freeing up space allows your computer to process things more quickly, so too will clearing your own personal space (whether of things or thoughts) allow you to access new levels of clarity and creativity.

Space brings freedom.

You’ll breathe easier, be more present in every action and interaction you partake of and bring more of who you really are to what you do. And you’ll open the space of possibility that allows something to come in that may surprise and delight you.

Any work you do on yourself will serve as a form of leadership for others who, like you, seek their own answers and could benefit from your example of unearthing what is possible and allowing it to take form in new and unexpected ways.

Discerning what is and isn’t working and up leveling your game becomes easier and more fun when you have support. When you are ready to go deeper, check out UnleashtheExtraordinary.com.

Do you believe it’s possible?

 

The video below is a follow up to Tuesday’s video about a conversation that had me second guessing something I was passionate about – and why I now know that it was (and always will be) a truth that has the power to transform the way we work and live.

For more on work/life transformation, visit UnleashtheExtraordinary.com.

Here’s to your success!

Diane

How to Leverage a Cringe Worthy Moment

 

A step backward (even a cringe worthy moment) can be used to propel you forward – IF you know how to leverage it. This week’s video will show you how…

 

Here’s to your success!

Diane

How to Change a Habit That is Hurting You – Recap and Next Steps

 

Growth is often preceded by discomfort – when it becomes apparent that a change is needed… one that you have the power to make. Yes, there are five steps, but the process is nonlinear and iterative, meaning you can jump in anywhere.

Here’s a review of the five steps I’ve posted about over the last few weeks:

(1)  Make a decision, a declaration and a commitment to yourself.

(2)  Surround yourself with reminders of what you are moving toward.

(3)  Notice how often you engage in the undesired behavior and what the impact is when you do.

(4)  Examine and challenge your assumptions.

(5)  Envision and practice a new way of doing things.

Sometimes you’ll be at step three for a while, noticing how often you’re falling into old patterns (and experiencing the pain of them) before you’re ready to move to step one, making a commitment to change.

Sometimes steps happen simultaneously ­- like when you reflect on your behavior (step three) and envision what you could do differently next time (step five).

And often when you begin figuring out what new habit you’d like to replace your old one with (step five), you begin to become aware of limiting assumptions you can challenge (step four).

This non-linear, iterative process is something that is fueled by insight.

And insight is developed through reflecting on your experiences with the intention of achieving a better outcome (and process). Whenever you endeavor to make a change, a question is launched into the ethers about what you need to do next. The answers come in the form of insight.

Insights often land when you’re doing something that gets you out of your head, like taking a shower, driving, playing ball with your kid or your dog, listening to music, gardening – whatever allows you to zoom out and allow your mind to do what it will.

Most executives are so busy running from one thing to another that they overlook the importance of slowing down and creating space for these insights to land. They often unintentionally perpetuate patterns of behavior keep them from the very results they’re working so hard to create.

You can interrupt that vicious cycle and accelerate your progress by working with a coach.

Engaging in executive coaching will not only help you get clear on your desired results and create a path to achieve them but also assist you in identifying and removing obstacles you may not even be aware of. The process of coaching helps you stay accountable to yourself while being supported through change that can be uncomfortable.

Coaching can take place via a one-on-one engagement and can be enhanced with curriculum-based programs that introduce you to tools and approaches that will expedite your process. If you’re interested in exploring what form of support would be the best fit for you, message me.

Here’s to your continued success!

Diane

How to Change a Habit That is Hurting You, Part 5

 

You’re committed to making a change, focused on what you’re moving toward, aware of the impact of your current behavior, and challenging the assumptions that have been driving you to it.

But there’s one last step that is crucial to your success.

Envision and practice a new way of doing things.

It is essential to substitute a new behavior for the old one so you can focus more on what you are moving toward than away from.

Chances are you already know what you’d like to do as an alternative. If not, you can ask yourself the question, “What would be a better way of handling situations that have been causing me trouble?”

When you ask a question, your subconscious mind gets busy finding the answer for you. 

You may learn by watching or seeking mentoring from people around you who are masterful in the areas you strive to improve in. You may find yourself drawn to articles, books, workshops or other resources that will help you. You might journal about it and find yourself writing about the answer.

Once you have an idea of what you’d like to do differently, it’s important to practice as often as you can, both physically and mentally. 

As Ralph Waldo Emerson once said, “An ounce of action is worth a ton of theory.”

Action is how you bridge the gap between the future you envision and the state you find yourself in now. But you don’t have to wait until you have all the answers or the confidence of a master to begin. Any action that serves your goal will start building momentum and allow you to learn and make essential adjustments along the way.

Remember to be patient and kind with yourself as you learn a new behavior.

It will probably be somewhat uncomfortable or, at the very least, unnatural at first. You’ll likely not be very good at it right away. And you may find it tempting to simply revert to your old behavior as a result.

But stick with it. Since discomfort accompanies growth, it is an indicator of progress.

With consistent practice, it will get easier and come more naturally, until finally the new behavior is so ingrained that you won’t have to think about it all that much.

If an action doesn’t bring the desired result, you can ask yourself what you could have done differently. Use the experience as data to fine-tune your approach to be more aligned with your desired results.

The steps I’ve been sharing with you over these last few days are a small part of what I teach and coach executives to implement in The Pinocchio Principle Unleashed, a thirteen-week, seven-module virtual leadership development program designed to help business professionals like you maximize your performance, minimize stress and pressure and enjoy a more fulfilling life both on and off the job (and lead others to do the same). Message me for more information if you are interested.

How to Change a Habit That is Hurting You, Part 4

 

Sometimes when you can’t kick a habit that is hurting you, it’s because your behavior is linked to a limiting assumption or belief. It’s like pulling out a weed without removing its root.

Action follows thought and assumptions are thoughts that are like the strings on puppets, controlling their every move. When these assumptions are unexamined, they propel us to engage in actions without thinking.

But when you examine the assumptions linked to a behavior you want to change, you may find that though they are compelling, they are not very logical – and in some cases are downright erroneous.

An assumption that keeps people from taking bold action could be something like “I don’t have what it takes to do what I really want to do,” or “If I try and fail, I’ll be worse off than I am now.”

And an assumption that keeps people from delegating to/empowering others and truly leading might be “If I don’t do this myself, it’s not going to get done right (or at all).”

Assumptions like these get us into more trouble than they prevent and have us acting in ways that reinforce the assumption.

In the first case, if you assume that you can’t do something, you’ll act with hesitation (if at all), and your wavering will keep you from performing or lead you to make things much harder than they need to be. You may look to your lack of results as confirmation that your assumption was correct, but the real problem is the impact the assumption itself had on your ability to act with confidence.

In the second case, if you don’t believe others can handle something (or that you are better off doing it yourself), you’ll likely not properly set them up for success, build their confidence or remove obstacles that could keep them from achieving results. And when they are unable to execute properly, you’ll see their lack of success as data that confirms your initial assumption.

Identifying these assumptions can be tricky because they’re often so engrained we don’t even realize they’re operating.

But if you stop to reflect on what you believe about the situation, yourself, or others you can begin to become aware of them. And then you can change the thinking that perpetuates the habit you’re trying to rise above.

The steps I’ve been sharing with you over these last few days are a small part of what I teach and coach executives to implement in The Pinocchio Principle Unleashed, a thirteen-week, a seven-module virtual leadership development program designed to help business professionals like you maximize your performance, minimize stress and pressure and enjoy a more fulfilling life both on and off the job (and lead others to do the same). Message me if you are interested in learning more.

Next week, I’ll share the fifth and final step of How to Change a Habit That is Hurting You.

Here’s to your success!

How to Change a Habit That is Hurting You, Part 3

 

 

Did you know that what might feel like a step backward can dramatically enhance your forward progress? It’s true, but only if done right. Here’s how.

The third step to changing a habit that’s hurting you is to notice how often you engage in the behavior you want to change and what the impact is when you do.

That can be rather painful, because you already know what habits you want to change and how they are hurting you. Yet chances are that you’re still engaging in them more often than you’d like – almost as though you cannot help yourself.

But you’re simply observing the effect of being on autopilot.

Your habits become defaults that allow you to do things without a lot of thought or effort. That’s a good thing when a behavior serves you, like brushing your teeth or working out in the morning. But when those engrained habits lead you to regret your actions later, you have to slow things down so that you’re more conscious of what you’re doing and where it’s getting you.

The good news is that initially, you don’t have to recognize what are often knee jerk reactions in the moment. You can replay the events in your mind later and recognize that you were in the grip of an automatic response.

You can notice what triggered the behavior. And you can begin to envision strategies for interrupting the pattern, like taking a breath, stepping away for a moment, and getting realigned with your true intention and desire.

In addition to what led you to engage in a problematic habit, pay attention to how you felt afterward. Recognize how it impacted the rest of your day, or week. Become aware of how it may have affected people you care about and made you feel about yourself.

The more pain you associate with behavior you seek to rise above, the stronger your commitment will become to rise above it.

Taking time regularly to mentally review your actions will help you catch yourself engaging in old behaviors that aren’t serving you. You’ll find that over time, you’ll go from realizing it hours or days later to recognizing it moments after it happened, to catching yourself in the act, and eventually to keeping yourself from doing it at all.

The steps I’ve been sharing with you over these last few days are a small part of what I teach and coach executives to implement in The Pinocchio Principle Unleashed, a thirteen-week, seven-module virtual leadership development program designed to help business professionals like you maximize your performance, minimize stress and pressure and enjoy a more fulfilling life both on and off the job (and lead others to do the same).

This process can be applied in many areas of your life to integrate your best and worst experiences in ways that allow you to leverage what you learn – and become stronger as a result.

Next week I’ll cover step four of How to Change a Habit That is Hurting You.

How to Change a Habit That is Hurting You, Part 2

 

You’ve made a commitment to yourself, and you are determined to change that self-defeating habit once and for all. What do you do next?

STEP TWO: Surround yourself with reminders of what you are moving toward.

Though you may not have already experienced the pleasure you will gain by moving beyond your old habit and engaging in something new, your mind can help you to imagine it and make it real for you. It does this in much the same way that it can also magnify your fears and come up with all kinds of scenarios that could have you shaking in your boots.

Take control of your mind in advance. Envision the change you are making and what you imagine it will bring you.

If you are trying to get control of your temper, imagine what it will feel like to be able to calmly engage in discussion with someone without losing your head. Envision yourself shaking hands with people and leaving meetings feeling as though you have strengthened relationships rather than damaged them.

See if you can find a symbol or image that helps you to move into that feeling whenever you look at it. And put that visual reminder somewhere where you will see it often.

Maybe you are wanting to break the habit of staying in your comfort zone rather than taking the bold actions you dream about – like expanding your business, going after a new market, creating a new program or product, or creating and empowering a solid team that can do more together than you ever could alone.

Envision what acting on your dream will give you and see if you can experience it in your mind as though it has already happened.

Find pictures that evoke those feelings for you and get you excited and motivated to take steps to make it happen. Look at them every day, several times a day and feel those feelings when you do.

The key to transformation comes when you move from seeing the future you want to create to embodying it.

When you feel as though you are getting sucked back into old behaviors you are trying to leave behind, or when you are discouraged about your progress use your reminders to bring you back to your intention and recommit to yourself. Then take action in the new direction you want to move in.

The steps I’ve been sharing with you over these last few days are a small part of what I teach and coach executives to implement in The Pinocchio Principle Unleashed, a thirteen-week, a seven-module virtual leadership development program designed to help business professionals like you maximize your performance, minimize stress and pressure and enjoy a more fulfilling life both on and off the job (and lead others to do the same).

There is a whole lesson dedicated to visioning and embodying your future that participants have told me has been instrumental in helping them create and achieve what they most want to achieve and experience. Message me if you’d like more information.

Next week, I’ll share step three of How to Change a Habit That is Hurting You.

Here’s to your success!

How to Change a Habit That is Hurting You, Part 1

 

The first step to changing a habit may be working against you is to make a decision, a declaration and a commitment to yourself.

There is power in willingness. I’m talking about more than good intentions here, though that is where it all starts. People are at the threshold of change when the pain of one behavior becomes greater than its payoff. But for that momentum to take hold, the perceived payoff of the change must be greater than the seeming pain of giving something up.

The trouble is you may not really know what that payoff will be. And though you also may not know what that change will entail, your mind will be off and running creating scenarios that have you believing it’ll be far harder than anything you can imagine.

And that can become a real showstopper if you aren’t ready for it.

It’ll keep you from getting out of bed in the morning. It’ll have you playing small when you are on the verge of bold, courageous action. It’ll make the old beaten path you’ve been traveling seem preferable to heading into the uncertainty of whether you will be able to do whatever you are learning to do in place of your old behavior.

So, you have to make a commitment to yourself.

You must get really clear in your mind that you will no longer tolerate your old way of doing things and decide that you will do whatever it takes to move beyond it.

It helps if you write it down. And it also helps if you tell someone else about it – someone who can remind you of all the reasons you are doing it, of what you have to gain, and of what you are rising above and why.

Think about a habit you would like to move beyond.

• How has it been hurting your effectiveness? Your credibility? Your peace of mind?
• What would you gain by rising above it?
• What could you do if you no longer fell into that pattern of behavior?
• How would you feel?

Are you ready to make a change?

If so, make a commitment right now to yourself. Write it down and then share it with someone who will support you as you endeavor to carry that commitment out.

As promised, in coming weeks I’ll continue to deliver to you a five-step process for changing habits that are getting in the way of your success – the impact you can make and the satisfaction and fulfillment you can enjoy both on and off the job.

These steps are a small part of what I teach and coach executives to implement in The Pinocchio Principle Unleashed, a thirteen-week, seven-module virtual leadership development program designed to help business professionals like you maximize your performance, minimize stress and pressure, and enjoy a more fulfilling life both on and off the job (and lead others to do the same).

Next week I’ll share with you the second step to breaking a habit that is hurting you.

Here’s to your success!