Rekindling Your Passion at Work

Last weekend, my family and I went to Disneyland, where we spent two days playing at what has become known as “The Happiest Place on Earth”. And there really is something about that place that allows all your troubles to melt away while the kid in you comes alive. It is easy to be in the moment while you’re there – totally present, completely immersed in the experience, and sharing joy with everyone around you – even people you’ve never met.

It got me to thinking. What is it about Disneyland that is so transformational, and how can we create a similar experience wherever we are?

Now, you might be saying, “Come on, it’s Disneyland!  And people are on vacation when they’re there.  How can you not be happy in a place where there is beauty everywhere you look and where the whole point is to let go and have fun?  And when you are on vacation you’re not pulled in a million different directions and under the same pressure and stress you are every other day – especially at work.”

Yeah, I get that.  But the experiences we have come down to what we allow ourselves to feel and what we are thinking about and believing when we are having them.  So, perhaps it is conceivable that we can learn to deliberately respond to situations in ways that would lead us to draw out the same emotion and energy – no matter where we are. 

I can’t help but think about the people who were (and still are) responsible for creating and running Disneyland.  Their workdays consist of being a part of and contributing to something that evokes the very best in all the millions of people that come into contact with it.  And it seems that they wouldn’t be able to do that if they weren’t bringing the very best of who they are to the experience as well – despite the pressure and tension they surely feel along the way.

I believe part of the wonder and magic we experience when we are at Disneyland is the same wonder and magic that the place was infused with from it’s very beginning — starting with the man called Walt Disney and equally shared by every human being he partnered with from the beginning to bring his incredible vision to life and keep making it better and better.  Walt Disney dared to dream and dream big.  He worked with people who shared his passion to build on this dream by adding their own unique talent, energy and imagination.  They were inspired by the possibility of being a part of something bigger than themselves.

When was the last time you felt inspired in your work?  When was the last time you had passion for your career?  What is it that allows you to feel a sense of wonder and contribution to something bigger? 

If you have lost touch with that, do yourself and everyone around you a favor and take some time to reconnect with it.  Each one of us has something deep inside that we are uniquely qualified and put on this earth to create or do.  When we are young, the energy of our dreams propels us along our path —sometimes blindly, but it gets us off our duffs and into action.  We experience hardships along the way, and will undoubtedly fail again and again.  Life will throw us curve balls and we may find ourselves feeling beaten down and doing what we can to just get by, running from one crisis to another and sometimes going in circles.  At some point, we may check out and take an easier path – one that allows us to go numb and somewhat unconscious.  It may work for awhile, but over time we begin to feel the misery that comes along with abandoning our dreams and letting our passion take the back seat.

 What would it take for you to get excited about what you are doing right now?  What is the bigger why of the work you do every day?  Who does it serve, and how?  If you can’t answer that question, do some digging.  When you can connect those dots to a bigger picture, you may find that what you thought was insignificant is really actually quite meaningful and a vital piece of a larger puzzle you are meant to help assemble.  As you recognize your part and the value you provide, perhaps you’ll be inspired to bring a little more of who you are to what you do by playing more fully, being more present, and connecting more deeply with those who rely on you.

Your passion is like a hidden well with unlimited reserves – in the act of tapping it, you will replenish it in such a way that it multiplies.  And as you unleash it in your work, you will draw out something extraordinary in every human being that comes into contact with it – just like Walt Disney did (and still does).

Sometimes when we are honest with ourselves, we recognize the ways in which we have boarded up that well and consciously or unconsciously do whatever we can to keep it locked.  Something may have happened that led us to doubt our chances of success, or fear the outcome of expressing our greatest ideas or challenging the status quo.  Perhaps we’ve experienced something that led us to harden ourselves out of resentment at a turn of events that was painful – maybe a reorganization, restructuring or layoff.  We may have come to the conclusion that the best way to stay safe was to lay low, going through the motions and getting through the day until we could go home and really live.

Such a reaction may yield dividends in the short term.  We may feel as though we have beaten a system that seemed to be beating us.  Or perhaps we can stay under the radar long enough to avoid what we believe will be more pain.  But in the end we are only cheating ourselves and others.

Walt Disney experienced his share of hardship.  After his failed attempt to be hired as an artist for his local paper, he took an apprenticeship at an Art Studio and ended up getting laid off.  He started two different companies, neither of which were profitable.  He lived in his office because he couldn’t afford rent and hardly had enough money to eat.  Before he was able to complete his “Alice’s Wonderland” film, he declared bankruptcy.  Imagine how many millions of people would have missed out on his unique genius if he gave into his frustration and fear and played small instead.

It seems that we are at a kind of crossroads where the tension is mounting.  The deviations and quick fixes that used to work for us are no longer satisfying.  The pain that comes from denying our greatest dreams and visions is beginning to intensify and more and more people are asking how they can create lives of meaning and significance.  Some of the people I talk to believe they need to leave their jobs to do what they really want to do.  Others see opportunities where they can make a bigger difference but just don’t know how to start and fear that taking action could be put themselves at risk somehow.

I strongly believe that we can all make a difference right where we are — no matter where we are or who we are — and that we have everything within ourselves that we need to succeed.

I have been so fascinated with the question of how people can tap their inner reserves to reconnect with their passion, wisdom, creativity and unique talent (and how I can do this for myself as well), that I wrote a book about it.  It is called The Pinocchio Principle: Becoming the Leader You Were Born to Be  and it is now available on Amazon.  For more information or to download an excerpt, go to http://www.PinocchioPrinciple.com.

* Source: www.disneydreamer.com.

My Most Embarrassing Moment

 

This week’s blog post, My Most Embarrassing Moment,  features a video about one of those experiences I’d rather not repeat and why the most powerful lesson from it didn’t come to me until years later.  Below I’ve expanded a bit on the key messages.

One of my most embarrassing moments happened while running on a treadmill at a gym.  When I went to fix my hair, my foot hit the part of the treadmill that wasn’t moving and I lost my balance.  I hit the belt, which was still moving and was catapulted into the middle of the room where other people were working out.  Whether it actually happened or not, it felt as though the room went silent and all eyes were on me.

I’m pretty sure I was bleeding.  Though I was bruised and in a lot of pain, it didn’t come close to the humiliation and embarrassment I was experiencing.   I smiled and nodded as people asked me if I was okay, pulled myself up and somehow hobbled out of there.  To this day, I really don’t like to run on treadmills and tend to avoid them.

The lesson I took from that experience is that treadmills would hurt me.  But there was a far more powerful lesson that I initially missed.   When I fell, I wasn’t in the moment.  My head was somewhere else.  I wasn’t conscious or balanced and as a result, bad things happened.  My belief that treadmills will hurt me and I need to stay away from them is an assumption.  A faulty assumption.

In my new book, The Pinocchio Principle: Becoming the Leader You Were Born to Be, I drew an analogy of assumptions like these to the strings that keep Pinocchio from realizing his dream of becoming real and doing what he really wanted to do.   My assumption that I need to stay away from treadmills is keeping me from what could otherwise be a very enjoyable experience, particularly if I don’t have the luxury of running outside.  I’ve written a whole chapter about how our assumptions keep us from doing the things we really want to do in our lives and how we can dismantle these strings so that we can live and lead in new, powerful ways.

What’s your treadmill story?  Maybe it is something you tried that didn’t go very well and led you to  rule out the whole experience and figure you were no good at it.  Maybe your story is about a person that reminds you of someone from your past with whom you didn’t have a good experience.  In either case, chances are you’re believing things that are not necessarily true and keeping you from something that could be really great.

What would you need to do to be free of that?

Click here if you’d like to order a copy of The Pinocchio Principle, or go to www.PinocchioPrinciple.com for more information.

Become a subscriber at  www.DianeBolden.com and receive my free report:  Ten Traps Leaders Unwittingly Set for Themselves…and How to Avoid Them.

Though comments are currently closed, please feel free to email me at Diane@DianeBolden.com with your feedback, questions and thoughts.  Have a specific challenge you’d like to see a post written about?  Let me know.  I’d love to hear from you!

Seven Powerful Lessons for Living that I Learned by Writing a Book

 

Well, my new book, The Pinocchio Principle: Becoming a Real Leader finally went to print on Tuesday, 1/11/11. The process of writing has been a truly rewarding experience full of highs and lows and as intensely humbling as it has been exhilarating. As I’ve reflected back on some of the things I’ve learned along the way, I was struck by how applicable these lessons are to life in general. And, being a writer and a coach, I feel compelled to share them in the hopes that they will be of value to you — if only in some small way.

Lesson #1:  When you commit yourself to something that you want with all of your heart, a series of events is set into motion that allows you to get what you most need. However, some of these events may not necessarily be what you originally wanted.

The idea for writing The Pinocchio Principle floated into my head and onto a page in my journal almost six years ago. I dabbled at it – wrote a little here and there, sometimes in long spurts and other times in trickles. It went back and forth from my desk to my shelf again and again. In the latter part of 2009 I began to feel increasing frustration as I never seemed to have the uninterrupted blocks of time I needed to really concentrate and bring the book to life. Lo and behold, in the coming months I saw some of my largest coaching and consulting contracts come to an end. By January of 2010 my practice had become sizably reduced. I initially experienced frustration, disappointment and sadness. And then I realized that I had been given the gift of time and space. Three months later the first draft of manuscript was finished.

Lesson #2: Everything always takes longer than you think it will (note that it took another nine months for me to get from a first draft to a finished book).

This is actually a fairly well known adage called Hofstadter’s Law. Hofstadtler adds that his law holds even when you take into account Hofstadtler’s law. This is especially true when you are doing something you have never done before. You will not know what you don’t know. And mistakes will be made. If you beat yourself up for them, you will only prolong your suffering — and your delays. However, if you acknowledge and embrace these difficult lessons, you will move forward with far more confidence and lightness. You will also have a lot more fun. And so will everyone else who comes into contact with you and your work.

Lesson #3: Everything you do will be infused with whatever you are feeling when you do it.

Before I fully embraced lesson number two, I would try to power forward in spite of the fact that what I really needed to do was slow down. Anything I wrote in that state felt awkward, forced and completely devoid of the energy and passion I wanted to invoke. And I ultimately ended up having to rewrite those passages anyway. When I learned to reconnect with my intention of wanting my readers to feel uplifted and inspired, the words that fell onto the page came far more easily — and often in ways that uplifted and inspired me as well.

Pay attention to the energy you pour into the projects you work on. If you feel resentful or irritated as you go about your tasks, chances are the project will invoke those same feelings in everyone who comes into contact with it. Choose to infuse your work with love and positive intentions and see if people respond in a different way.

Lesson #4: The paradox of success is that only when you forget about yourself and your ego needs and focus on what you can give to others will you actually find what you seek.

As soon as I began to worry about what others might think of what I was writing (or of me), my writing fell apart. It was as though my left hand was writing while my right hand was grabbing hold of my wrist and keeping it from moving the pen across the page. I became too wrapped up in my own self image and needing to look good, which completely disconnected me from my true purpose. And as a result, the inspiration came to a complete halt. However, as soon as I became conscious of these egocentric thoughts and deliberately refocused myself on wanting to deliver something that would truly help my readers, I was able to get back into the flow.

I believe the same is true with anything we do. As soon as we worry about what others will think of us, we fall flat on our faces and end up experiencing the very things we most fear. When we shift our focus from what we can get to what we can give, we have a far more fulfilling experience — and so does everyone else.

Lesson #5: There is power in partnership.

I couldn’t have written this book without the aid of an unbelievable number of people who may not realize how invaluable their assistance really was. My coach helped me recognize the pitfalls I was stumbling into and guided me gently back onto my path. My editor reworded sentences to make the ideas to become crisper, clearer and more engaging. My husband and a number of clients and friends were kind enough to read passages of my manuscript and give me feedback, and the more eyes I had viewing the pages, the better the work became. Friends who had written their own books shared sage advice that guided me along my path. My designer showed amazing patience as I continue to revise cover after cover.  Just as, if not more powerful than help in the mechanics of putting the book together was the support, love and encouragement I constantly felt from everyone along the way. Sometimes just talking through a concept helped me realize what I really needed to say and allowed me to more clearly articulate myself.

If you don’t have people around you who can be a sounding board, a coach, a mentor, a cheerleader – even a shoulder to cry on at times, I highly encourage you to seek people out who can support you in this way and rely on them often.

Lesson #6: Whenever you ask a question, you gain access to the answers you seek.

I actually wrote about this process in The Pinocchio Principle. Whatever you focus your attention on becomes illuminated. If you focus your mind on a question, you will find that the answers you seek begin to appear in various ways, often repetitively. They may come in the form of signs, information that you happen to come across, conversations you find yourself in, and even images that enter your mind. But you must pay attention in order to discern these answers, or you may miss them.

Some of the questions I held in my mind as I wrote The Pinocchio Principle included the following:

• How do you breathe life back into work and truly tap your highest potential?  And how can you help others to do the same?
• How can you be who you really are (and succeed) in a world that seems to want you to be someone else?
• How can you successfully navigate through uncertainty (and help others to do the same) when everything around you seems to be falling apart?
• How do you tap into your creativity and inner wisdom in such a way that you are able to find the answers you most need at any moment?

The act of writing The Pinocchio Principle allowed me to find the answers I was seeking in such a way that I realized in the end my truest reward was simply having written it —regardless of whether anyone actually purchased a copy or not.

Lesson #7:  Every dream worth pursuing will require you to go beyond what you believe to be your limits and push you out of your comfort zone.

There will be times when you question whether you really have what it takes to succeed.  You will have days where you feel as though the work you do comes easily and carries you away in a flow of its own.  And you will also have days where you will (literally or figuratively) sit and stare catatonically, immersed in the feeling of being completely, utterly stuck.

I have always believed that we are never given more than we are able to handle.  The discovery I made in this process is that sometimes you have to be pushed to your edge to realize just how much you are actually capable of.  The frustration, anxiety and doubt eventually do pass, but you may have to sit with them for awhile before they leave.  They are like clouds that temporarily block the sun and cast shadows everywhere you look, only to help you better appreciate the bright beautiful light of day that was really there all along.

Click here if you’d like to order a copy of The Pinocchio Principle, or go to www.PinocchioPrinciple.com for more information.

Become a subscriber at  www.DianeBolden.com and receive my free report:  Ten Traps Leaders Unwittingly Set for Themselves…and How to Avoid Them.

Though comments are currently closed, please feel free to email me at Diane@DianeBolden.com with your feedback, questions and thoughts.  Have a specific challenge you’d like to see a post written about?  Let me know.  I’d love to hear from you!

The True Gift of Giving

“All which I abandon, all which I give, I enjoy in a higher manner through the fact that I give it away. To give is to enjoy possessively the object which one gives.”

~ Jean-Paul Sartre, philosopher

I had a roommate in college who was down in the dumps for a few weeks.  Her usually delightful demeanor had become heavy and a little dark.  She was going through one of those slumps we all encounter from time to time.  One day when I came home from class, there was a envelope taped onto our door.  As I looked around the building we lived in, I noticed similar envelopes hanging on other doors.  This one had my name on it, handwritten.  I tore it open and found a piece of notebook paper upon which was written one of the the most heartfelt notes I had ever read.

It was signed “from someone who appreciates you deeply” and as I read it, I found myself falling into the page while small tears began to collect at the corners of my eyes.  The author of the note had recounted things I had done over the last several weeks – many of of which I thought were insignificant  –  that made a difference in that person’s life.  There were kind, warm words of praise and gratitude as well as encouragement and inspiration.  Whoever wrote that note apparently thought I was special and took the time to tell me why in such a way that it profoundly touched me.  I looked up and saw someone across the hall reading her note and watched as her face began to light up.

When I opened the door, I found my roomate sitting contentedly writing in her journal and sipping a cup of tea.  She looked up and smiled for what seemed the first time in weeks.

“Did you get one of these notes?’ I asked her.

“No,” She responded with a grin.

And then it hit me.  She was the one who wrote the notes.  She didn’t admit it at first, but I finally got it out of her.

“What led you to do this?” I asked her.  “It must have taken you hours!”

“I was tired of feeling tired and sad and lonely,” she said.  I was sick of my gloomy little world.  And I decided that if I couldn’t make it better for myself, maybe I could make it better for someone else. “

She had started with one note.  And then she wrote another.  And then another.  And it felt so good, she said, that she decided she’d just write until she didn’t feel like writing anymore.

That was over twenty years ago.  And it still inspires me.    She taught me more through her actions that I would have learned by reading ten books that day.  I don’t think she intended it at the time, or even realized it until she started writing her notes, but the gift she gave to everyone in that building ended up being something that benefitted her just as much as everyone else.  And my guess is that it is still benefitting her and everyone else – because I know it’s still meaningful and significant to me.

Gandhi said “You must be the change you want to see in the world”.  Richard Bach wrote “We teach what we most need to learn.”  And Maya Angelou tells us, “I have found that among its other benefits, giving liberates the soul of the giver.”  Perhaps this is one of the true gifts in giving – that when we get outside of ourselves to touch another human being, it has a way of bringing us gently back to ourselves so that we too receive the gift.  And it holds true even when we think we have nothing left to give.

When our egos get the best of us and we think nothing will ever go the way we want it to, we can transcend a state of wanting by moving into a state of giving.  Think of something you want right now, in this moment.  What is it that “something” will give you?  Most likely it is a feeling – perhaps a feeling of contentment, satisfaction, prosperity, abundance, or joy.  Now, see if there is something you can do for another person to help them experience those things.  Often when we give to others, we find we already had that which we were seeking.  We realize the thing we thought we needed is a means to an end that we have already arrived at.

I have written about this phenomenon (and why it is so vital to leadership) at length in my upcoming book, The Pinocchio Principle: Becoming the Leader You Were Meant to Be, which will be released on 1/11/11.  For more information, go to www.PinocchioPrinciple.com.   If you pre-order, I’ll send you an autographed copy!

A few spots still remain in my upcoming Adventures in Authentic Leadership small group coaching series.  You’ll have the opportunity to apply the concepts in The Pinocchio Principle to make ongoing progress toward your specific goals, aspirations, and challenges with support, feedback and accountability.  The series kicks off on 1/13/11 and will meet every other Thursday from 11:30am to 1pm at my office in central Phoenix.  Read more…

Become a subscriber at  www.DianeBolden.com and receive my free report:  Ten Traps Leaders Unwittingly Set for Themselves…and How to Avoid Them.

Though comments are currently closed, please feel free to email me at Diane@DianeBolden.com with your feedback, questions and thoughts.  Have a specific challenge you’d like to see a post written about?  Let me know.  I’d love to hear from you!

Why I Wrote “The Pinocchio Principle”

This video is about what led me to write The Pinocchio Principle:  Becoming the Leader You Were Born to Be.  If you cannot see it on the page, click here to view it.  Below I have expanded on the key messages.  I hope you enjoy it!

What I really love about coaching is that it is not about telling people what to do or giving them answers.  The beauty and the magic that happens with coaching is that the client gets connected with something inside of them that has all the answers they need.  It is their inner wisdom – their creativity, ingenuity and resilience.  It is also the seed that contains within it their unique talent, style, energy and passion.  And it is amazing to see it come out.

I seek to do this for myself.  I want to instill it in my kids.  If I could give anything to the world, it would be to show people how to connect to the core of their true selves and to have the courage to bring that to whatever they are doing.  I spend a lot of time reflecting on what I can do to get clearer on the process – and what I might be able to write about that could tell the story.  One day when I was journaling, Pinocchio popped into my writing.

Pinocchio is a universal story – he is an archetype that mirrors so much of what is happening in our lives right now.  Most people think of him as the guy whose nose grew when he lied.  But Pinocchio is a story of a puppet that longed to be real.  He wanted to transcend that stiff, hollow wooden frame and do things in the world that he couldn’t do as a puppet.

So many of us are at a place where we are ready to go beyond the boundaries we have previously set for ourselves – to dig deeper, dream bigger, and fly higher.  We long to shed the strings that keep us tied to illusions that are simply not true – about what we need to do or be to enjoy success, and the limits that we think will keep us from achieving it.  Like Pinocchio, so many of us long to be REAL – who we really are beyond the constraints that keep us bound.

What I love about Pinocchio is that he messed up.  He told lies and then he recognized the consequences.  He landed himself in a cage.  He succumbed to temptation.  He had misstep after misstep.  And yet what the Blue Fairy told him was that to become REAL, he would need to prove himself brave, truthful and unselfish.  And I think the same thing is true for all of us.  Our journeys will be full of obstacles as well – and there will be times of frustration, anxiety and stress.  The experiences we have will activate the courage we have within to be true to ourselves and others and of service in the world, just as Pinocchio’s experiences did for him.

That’s why I wrote The Pinocchio Principle:  Becoming the Leader You Were Born to Be.  It’s really a road map to help each of us take whatever experience we are having right now and utilize it as a window into ourselves that allows us to tap into whatever we need to rise above any situation that we find ourselves in.  My hope is that it will help you navigate the perils and possibilities of your own personal odyssey so that you can unearth your greatness and bring it into the world in such a way that it blesses your own life as well as that of others.  As you do this for yourself, you will inspire others to do the same – which I believe is the mark of a true leader – regardless of your vocation, title or role.

The Pinocchio Principle: Becoming the Leader You Were Born to Be will be released on 1/11/11 and is now available for preorder at www.PinocchioPrinciple.com.  I will also be working with a small group of eight people to lead them through this process (based on the book) as well.  A few spots still remain.  We’ll meet at my office in Phoenix every other Thursday from 11:30am to 1:00pm from 1/13/11 through 6/16/11.  For more information or to register, go to www.DianeBolden.com/AIAL.html.   The cost is $900 ($75 a session) and payment plans are available.

Become a subscriber at  www.DianeBolden.com and receive my free report:  Ten Traps Leaders Unwittingly Set for Themselves…and How to Avoid Them.

Though comments are currently closed, please feel free to email me at Diane@DianeBolden.com with your feedback, questions and thoughts.  Have a specific challenge you’d like to see a post written about?  Let me know.  I’d love to hear from you!