How to Connect, Communicate & Collaborate with Greater Influence & Impact

 

Are there people in your office (or your life) that drive you nuts because they insist on doing things so differently than you do?

We’re led to believe we should treat others the way we want to be treated.  But if one person’s preferences are another’s irritations, using that approach to connect, communicate and collaborate doesn’t always work very well…

When people don’t say and do things the way you’d like them to, you might believe they are intentionally trying to make you crazy – when in reality they are just operating with a style that is different than yours.

This week’s video will give you a leg up on understanding people’s differing styles in a way that’ll transform frustration into appreciation, collaboration and synergy.

And if you’d like to find out what is likely YOUR most dominant behavioral style, take this complimentary 14-question quiz.  Along with your results, I’ll provide you with tips to help you not only understand but also LEVERAGE your unique style to maximize your effectiveness, influence and impact – with others who are both similar to and different from you.

Here’s to your success!

Diane

P.S.  If you know of others who might like to learn about their style  – and how to best connect, communicate and collaborate with others too, you can direct them to www.LearnYourStyle.com to take the complimentary quiz as well.

Overcome Your Limiting Beliefs and Create Your Desired Future

 

It’s pretty indisputable… to create and experience your desired future, you must overcome your limiting beliefs.

Eleanor Roosevelt once said, “The future depends on those who believe in the beauty of their dreams”.  And according to Mahatma Gandhi, “The future depends on what we do in the present.”

I think they are both right.

The thing is, most of us are so busy running around fighting fires that we don’t give a whole lot of thought to what we’d like to create.  And even when we do, those dreams and visions are sometimes accompanied by hesitation, doubt, and even resistance.

The good news is that when your most formidable obstacles are self-generated, you most certainly have the power to rise above them.

In this week’s video, I’ll share some tips on how you can overcome your limiting beliefs that might otherwise stop you in your tracks (or keep you from starting at all) – so that you can move confidently toward the future you most want to experience.

Here’s to the beauty of YOUR dream!

Diane

P.S. The content of this week’s video was drawn from a workshop for visionary and heart centered leaders I recently presented at a Board Retreat for a client.  If you’re interested in bringing a workshop or webinar into your organization, contact us at support@DianeBolden.com.

 FULL TRANSCRIPT:

Hi, Diane Bolden, executive coach and author of The Pinocchio Principle: Becoming a Real Leader – How to Unleash Genius in Yourself and Those You Lead.

A couple weeks ago, I facilitated a workshop for heart-centered and visionary leaders at a retreat for one of my clients. Retreats are such a great way to get a bigger perspective and to begin to connect the dots of where you’re at, where it is you most want to go, what you’re learning along the way, what’s beckoning to you.

But you know what? You don’t have to get away or go someplace fancy in order to have a retreat. You can start by doing that right here, right now.

And it is something that you have to make a conscious decision to do because often, we’re so busy running around, fighting fires, dealing with the crisis of the day that we don’t stop to think about what is it we most want and what we might need to do in order to get it.

Sometimes when you think about what it is that you want, you might experience a feeling of resistance or dread or heaviness – and that’s to be expected because anytime you endeavor to do something that goes beyond your comfort zone and requires that you do something that you haven’t done before, you’re going to be met with resistance.

Oftentimes though, the resistance that we feel is something that we associate with the task and our chances of actually being able to accomplish it, when, in reality, those feelings are really just a product of what we’re thinking about the vision that we’re entertaining in our minds. And that thinking, when you’re not aware of it, tends to run the show…

Thinking that goes something like this, ” I don’t have the time to do that.” When you’re not aware of that limiting belief, you’ll end up acting in ways that make it true because you won’t take the time or make the time.

You might believe something like, ” I’m not really sure I’m cut out to do that,” or, “I don’t know what it is I would need to know” in order to pull that off,” or, “I would have to have everything all figured out, and I am nowhere near being able to do that.” When you believe those things, again, they stop you before you’ll ever even start because if you believe that you don’t have the ability to pull something off, why would you even bother trying?

You might believe something like, “I’m not really sure I can get people to support me.” And again, with that belief, you’re likely not to even ask because you feel like you already know what the answer will be.

The thing is, when you become conscious of what the limiting beliefs are that create that heaviness and tend to stop you in your tracks, you can begin to challenge them. Once you’re aware of limiting beliefs, they tend to lose their power over you.  Awareness opens the door that allows you to overcome your limiting beliefs.  Once you’re aware of a thought that isn’t serving you (and perhaps isn’t even true), you can replace it with something better.

If you think about a belief like, “I don’t really have the time to do that,” you might recognize, “You know what? I may not have the time to do all of it right away, but I do have the time to take a couple steps here and there – and I can make the time to do it regularly enough that I’ll actually make good progress.”

Something like, “I’m not sure I have what it takes in order to figure that out,” or even, “I need to have it all figured out before I can even start,” when you challenge it, can be shifted into a belief that actually supports you – a belief that says, “I don’t have to have everything all figured out. I just need to figure out the first few steps, and from that vantage point, I’ll know what I need to do next.”

A belief like, “I’m not really sure I could get people to support me” could become something more like, “I’m willing to approach a few people to see what it would take in order to get the support that I would need.”

In a few short months, we’ll be in a whole new year. It’s a great time to begin to take stock of what it is that’s beckoning to you and to create the space you need to incubate those kinds of visions, so that they are more likely to become reality. It’s also a great time to let go of anything that could get in the way of allowing you to achieve those visions and dreams.

The best time for you to recognize and overcome your limiting beliefs is now.

So, take some time to see if you can connect with what it is that you most want to create in the coming months and year, and what it is that you’re believing about that particular vision or dream that could potentially stop you. When you become aware of what those showstoppers are, they lose their power over you. And you can change them into something that actually can facilitate and increase the chances that you’ll meet with the success you desire.

If you’re interested in bringing a workshop or a webinar into your organization, contact us at support@dianebolden.com. Thanks for watching, and here’s to your success.

Four Questions to Supercharge Your Success This Season

 

Did you know that this is officially the first full week of fall? Every time of the year brings gifts that you can leverage to improve your work and your life.  Four simple questions covered below can help you supercharge your success this season…

Fall marks the transition between the bright and dark halves of the year – and it brings with it opportunities that are easy to overlook in the hustle and bustle of our daily lives.

This week’s video will help you make the most of this auspicious time in a way that’ll help you get where you want to go in the coming months (and year ahead).

For more on how let go of the old to make room for the new, check out How to Soften the Pain of Growth.

Here’s to fall… and to leveraging its gifts to not only finish the year strong, but to setting yourself up for continued success in 2024 and beyond!

FULL TRANSCRIPT:

Hi, Diane Bolden, Executive Coach and Author of “The Pinocchio Principle: Becoming a Real Leader How to Unleash Genius in Yourself and Those You Lead.”

Can you believe it’s fall?

I don’t know about you, but I don’t know where the summer went. It seems like time is such a blur.

That’s why I love the changing seasons because they kind of jar us awake and you can’t help but notice because you can see it and you can feel it. The days get shorter, and the nights are longer. The temperature drops. The leaves start to change colors and fall from the trees, and even the air smells different.

It’s a time of letting go and preparing for regeneration. Animals start to hibernate. The leaves fall from the trees – but also, did you know, that the energy of plants actually moves from creating and growing new leaves and flowers to developing a really strong root system that’ll help it make it through the winter?

Fall perennials that are planted grow really strong roots so that in the spring they can burst forward with vigorous growth and a profusion of flowers.

And we can take our cues from nature also… slowing down long enough to just catch up with ourselves and connect the dots.

I don’t necessarily think we need to hibernate, but just being able to kind of reflect on where you’ve been, where you’re going, what’s most important to you, and how you can take good care of yourself is so important.

Here are four questions that can help you supercharge your success this season.

1) What is it that you’ve already accomplished over the year so far that you’re proud of, that you can celebrate? And what is it that’s calling to you in the future? What’s most important to you? What is it that you really want to focus your time and energy on?

2) What are two or three things you’ve learned this year? Maybe it’s a skill that you’ve picked up, maybe it’s an insight as to what’s been getting in your way and how you might overcome that. Maybe it’s something that you’ve learned about yourself or even life.

3) How can you take care of your own root system? What is it that you need to do in order to strengthen yourself and prepare yourself to move forward with greater boldness, and ease, and momentum, and get where it is that you really want to go in the coming months – and perhaps, even the year ahead?

4) And finally, what is it that you can let go of? What is it that perhaps has run its course, and is no longer serving you? Maybe it’s a habit or a pattern, or something that you’ve done for a really long time that just really isn’t working for you.

Letting go of things can be hard, even when they no longer serve us because they’re comfortable and they’re familiar. I actually wrote an article about that a few years ago, which I’ll put a link to below. It’s called “How to Soften the Pain of Growth.”

But in the meantime, here’s to fall – to all the things that you’ve accomplished and have yet to accomplish; to taking the time to tend to your own root system; and to honoring the passage of seasons within your own work, and your life to supercharge your success this season!

Thanks for watching.

Why Being Stuck on Autopilot will Keep You Locked in Overwhelm – and How to Break Out of It

 

I’ve been thinking lately about how much time we all tend to spend stuck on autopilot.  You know, that state where you’re going through the motions, checking boxes, running around doing things… but not really accomplishing all that much.

It’s a state of unconsciousness that leaves you wondering where the day went.  Sometimes you may not even remember what you ate for lunch, or how the time just got sucked away.

And when you have a lot on your plate, being stuck in autopilot also means you’ll likely end your days in frustration about how little you got accomplished.  And wake up the next day feeling like you’re already behind.

But what if there’s a way to break out of that rut and get back on a path that is not only productive, but enjoyable and satisfying as well?

This week’s video will give you some tips for consciously reclaiming your day and effectively accomplishing your most important tasks with ease and grace.

FULL TRANSCRIPT

Hi there. Diane Bolden, executive coach and author of the Pinocchio Principle: Becoming a Real Leader –How to Unleash Genius in Yourself and Those You Lead.

Have you ever gotten to the end of a day where you felt like you just didn’t do the things that you really wanted to get done? And then you wake up the next morning feeling like you’re already behind and perpetuating that same state of overwhelm, that frustration, that irritation that you had the day before.

Why autopilot is a problem

It’s really easy to get stuck in autopilot. And the problem with autopilot is whatever it is that you’re doing is going to be repeated on an ongoing basis. Checking boxes and trying to get through the day and feeling overwhelmed doesn’t necessarily bode itself well to high levels of productivity, to creativity, to ingenuity or to satisfaction and fulfillment.

But what if you could break through that? What if you could have an entirely different experience? What if you could interrupt that autopilot pattern and in its place access a zone where you’re productive or you’re enjoying the work that you’re doing or you’re able to access creativity and think outside of the box?

Well, today I want to share with you a tip that you can try to do just that.

The physical laws that contribute to autopilot and overwhelm

Autopilot is largely a product of the law of inertia which essentially states that an object will remain in motion or at rest unless acted upon by an external force in a way that changes the trajectory. So, if you need to change your trajectory, you’ve got to do a bit of a pattern interrupt.

And there’s another reason why this is so important and that is another law of physics, that basically states things that are similar attract each other. And it’s not necessarily just things, but also thoughts. So, when you’re in a state of overwhelm, when you’re in a state of frustration and irritation and worry and anxiety, chances are likely that you’re going to continue to think in ways that perpetuate that state and you’re going to continue to act in ways that perpetuate that state as well. And if you’re not getting results, you’re likely to continue not getting results and then fretting about having not achieved all the things you really wanted to do.

When you’re stuck in autopilot and overwhelm, try a pattern interrupt

When you do a pattern interrupt, essentially, the best thing to do is to flash forward and to start with the end in mind – to identify for yourself, what would it feel like if you were to get to the end of your day and actually accomplish what you set out to do? Can you imagine feeling that rush of gratitude, of satisfaction, of accomplishment? Can you imagine being able to end your workday and go on to spend time with your family or your friends in a way that you weren’t distracted by the things that were still gnawing at you from work?

Start with the end in mind

Take that feeling a step further. Try and identify – what are the most critical things that you need to have done today? And try to pick no more than three to five things that are really, really important to you. Now take some time to do a little writing – not about the tasks that have yet to be done but see if you can flash forward to the end of your day. See if you can envision that you’ve time traveled and that you’re already the version of yourself that has achieved those critical things you identified that are on your list.

See if you can write a note back to the current version of yourself, sharing with yourself how grateful you are that you were able to accomplish what really needed to be done and how much easier it was than you thought it would be, how relaxed and relieved you feel that you actually accomplished what needed to be done, and how grateful you are for the experience. See if you can capture that. Have fun with it, embellish it a little bit.

And when you’re done, go back to consciously starting your day from a whole different mindset and see what happens.

Bonus tip for when you’re stuck on autopilot

I can give you a tip that will help you to continue to perpetuate this new state of conscious intentional visioning all through your day. I encourage you to work in 50-minute spurts. Set a timer if you need to. Work for 50 minutes. See if you can focus yourself intently on whatever it is that you’re about to do. And at the end of 50 minutes, take at least 5 to 10 minutes to give yourself a little bit of a break. Get up and stretch. Walk around, maybe go outside, take some deep breaths, grab a glass of water, listen to some music, whatever it is that you need to do to give yourself a little bit of a rest and then to come back to your task feeling a little more refreshed.

And before you jump in for another 50 minutes, take a moment and review what you wrote to yourself – that letter from your future self talking about how great you felt after you accomplished all those things and get into that state of feeling. Get into that state of having already accomplished it so that now when you go back to actually doing it, it’s almost as though you’re reliving the memory of what it took in order to get there.

Try it for yourself

As I always tell people, don’t believe what I’m saying because I’m telling you. Try it for yourself and see what happens. I can almost guarantee you that you’ll accomplish a lot more than you thought you could just by starting with the end in mind, interrupting that pattern of autopilot so that you can be more conscious and intentional with your day.

There Are No Missed Opportunities

 

Do you believe in “once in a lifetime opportunities”?

A lot of people will try to convince you to move on something because you’ll never have another chance…

Maybe you’ve even tried to convince yourself of that.

It creates a lot of pressure.  And when you decide to pass something up, you may worry or regret what feels like missed opportunities.  That can suck up a lot of wasted energy.

This week’s video will give you a different perspective – one that will save you a lot of frustration and help you to recognize that you may know more than you think you do.

FULL TRANSCRIPT:

Hi.  Diane Bolden, Executive Coach and author of The Pinocchio Principle Unleashed – Becoming a Real Leader: How to Unleash Genius in Yourself and Those You Lead.

Have you ever regretted not taking action on something?  Maybe it was something you’ve been wanting to do, but you just didn’t feel ready.  Maybe the timing just wasn’t right.  Maybe you just couldn’t get yourself to do it.

And then you might have beat yourself up or wondered, “Did I make the right decision?”  Because there’s so much pressure put on us for not passing up that “once in a lifetime opportunity”.

But I don’t buy that.  I don’t see life that way.  Experiences in my own life, as well as that of many clients I’ve worked with bear a different truth – life doesn’t give up on us.  And there are no missed opportunities.

Ancient philosopher/poet Rumi – “What you seek is seeking you.”  So, if you’re meant to do something, you’ll have numerous opportunities to say yes.  Like the waves in an ocean, one right behind the other.

Life prepares us for the grand things we do by giving us the not so grand little opportunities for growth.  And when you’re not ready for something, you’ll have chances to prepare yourself.

And ultimately, many grand opportunities.

So, if something you really want hasn’t happened, or if you’ve passed up an opportunity to engage with it, don’t despair. You’re that much closer to the next one…

And it WILL come.

In the spirit of there being no missed opportunities… though the spring session of The Pinocchio Principle Unleashed is now full, you can get on the waiting list for fall.   And if you’re interested in bringing the program in house, inquire at Support@DianeBolden.com.

Ever Feel Like Work is a Chore?

 

A third of your time on the planet is spent at work.  Why would you do something that makes you feel… dead before your time?

So many of us feel like work is a chore, which Merriam Webster defines as “an unpleasant but necessary task”.  It gets lumped in there with all the other things we dread but make ourselves do anyway ­– washing dishes, picking up the dog (or cat) poop, taking out the trash.

It’s interesting that Webster’s definition of the word “work’ has a similar connotation: “a task or tasks to be undertaken; something a person has to do”.

So, you could argue that the words “work” and “chore” go hand in hand.  And if your previous experiences validate a belief that work is a chore the association will be even stronger.  So strong that it leads to a common expectation that work is a necessary evil, a thing to be endured, something laborious and heavy.

Neuroscientific research has shown us that it is often our expectations themselves that shape our experience of reality.  And that can keep you stuck in a perpetual loop of believing that work is a chore and a resulting experience that proves it to be true.

Over time, perpetual loops feel a lot like hamster wheels – you’ll expend a ton of energy, feel a lot of frustration, and not really get anywhere.

(And if you are a leader, you may be unintentionally setting that tone for your whole organization.)

But you can turn that all around and change your world for the better.  It doesn’t require a lobotomy.  And it doesn’t necessarily mean you need to quit your job.  This video will give you a glimpse of just how easy that simple shift could be.

 

 

If you want more on revitalizing your work from the inside out, consider enrolling in the spring session of The Pinocchio Principle Unleashed: The Real Leader’s Guide to Accessing the Freedom & Flow of Your Authentic Genius.  This exclusive 12-week leadership development program is now in its 7^th year, with over a hundred happy alumni.

Participants for this video-based, small group coaching program are carefully selected and capped at no more than ten.  Registration will open on February 15^th, and priority will be given to those on the waiting list.  For more information or to be considered for enrollment, go to www.UnleashtheExtraordinary.com.

Feeling stuck? Refocus on your GOAL…

 

Research indicates that 80% of New Year’s resolutions fail by the beginning of February.  And if you’re thinking to yourself, “That’s why I don’t ever SET them,” you are not alone.

BUT… we all have goals and dreams and visions that are important to us.  And achieving them isn’t always easy.  If you’re feeling stuck or stymied, you may begin to get discouraged.  You might judge yourself or beat yourself up – which certainly doesn’t help the situation.

But the solution for getting back in the game and on the path to achievement may not be as difficult as you think.  Perhaps all you need do is refocus on your goal, or better yet shift your focus to something even more compelling…

This video is about getting back in the game after you’ve lost some of your steam – or when your best laid plans have gone awry.  I’ve shared from my own personal experience (one that seems quite common) what I’ve found to be the biggest derailer – and how to avoid and/or overcome it.

Why refocus on your goal?  Because your dreams, visions, and heartfelt intentions are too important to let feeling stuck get in the way.  Watch the video to learn a powerful approach for getting out of the mire and back on the road to success.

And if you’d like more guidance on how to follow through on your most important intentions, visions and dreams – download my special report: Why Real Leaders Don’t Set Goals… (and what they do instead). 

You’ll learn:

1.) why goals in and of themselves are insufficient

2.) a simple, compelling, and far more effective approach to achievement

3.) how to minimize the chance that your plans will be derailed

4.) how to master your mindset to achieve your dreams.

 Here’s to your success!

 

This caught me off guard…

 

Quite ironically, right after I launched my newest on demand course on navigating change, challenge and uncertainty, I was hit by a sudden (and quite undesired) curve ball.

I filmed a little video before the holidays to capture some insights that came to me through the experience.

No matter how aspirational and planful you are as you usher in the new Year, life will inevitably bring unexpected twists and turns.  My hope is that this video can help you bounce back from the kind of change you would never actually wish for yourself.

Eckharte Tolle once said, “Some changes look negative on the surface, but you will soon realize that space is being created in your life for something new to emerge.”

Here’s to EMERGING in 2023!

Diane

P.S. You can find my latest on-demand course here:  Navigating Change, Challenge & Uncertainty: How to Unleash Unprecedented Performance in Unchartered Territory

3 Things I Learned in My Garage About Navigating Change

 

Sometimes the greatest insights come to you in the strangest places.

In the midst of inevitable twists and turns, I found myself in my garage…

…surrounded by relics of the past and inklings about the future.

And I realized a few things about the nature of change – and how best to endure it.

So I filmed a little video to capture these thoughts for you…

 

The Way We’ve Been Working Isn’t Working Any More

 

Are you familiar with what’s being called The Great Resignation?  With resignations and job openings at an all time high, companies are competing to hire and retain top talent.  But much of that talent is feeling overwhelmed, overextended and burned out.

Because THE WAY WE’VE BEEN WORKING ISN’T WORKING ANY MORE.

We are at an unprecedented time with regard to work/life integration challenges.  Telecommuting allowed us more time at home, but for many it blurred the lines between our work and personal lives, skewing it toward work and leaving many feeling chewed up and spit out.

While it’s becoming clear we cannot go back to the way things were, we must find a way to chart a path that’ll get us where we really want to go – and redesign the way we work from the inside out.

There has never been a better opportunity for leaders to rise up and blaze a new trail.  But before they can lead others, they must first do it for themselves.  This video was created for those who feel compelled to answer that call.

Are you one of them?

Watch the video to find out, then visit www.UnleashtheExtraordinary.com for more details.