Enduring a Stormy State of Mind

When I used to get hiccups as a kid, my father would tell me the best way to get rid of them was to wait for the next one.  Surprisingly, more often than not, it actually worked – almost as though inviting in the very thing I wanted to avoid had a way of ushering it out.  As I reflected on the previous week, I realized that I used a similar tactic a few days ago to help me shift out of a very negative state into a more positive one.

It was a tough morning.  My body didn’t want to get out of bed, and even after I managed to get up it felt heavy and encumbered.  My mind matched that state, and everything I turned my attention on seemed to be darkened by a black fog that followed me everywhere I went.  In contrast, it was a gorgeous day outside.  No clouds, a cool bright morning, birds singing, etc., etc.  I decided to go out there and see if it might lift my spirits a bit.

I made myself go running, though I would rather have sat staring zombie like into a cup of coffee.  It was harder than usual and the first several minutes of stiffness that usually give way to a state of flow felt more like an eternity.  I run because I enjoy it, I reminded myself.  But really I just wanted the whole excursion to be over.

I recalled my brother and me on boating outings with our grandparents when we were kids.  Every once in a while, we would anchor the boat near a shore where long, wild reeds would grow and the ground beneath the water would release stinky bubbles of putrid gas when our toes sunk deeply into the soft, squishy mud.  The more we stirred our feet the more rank the odor became.  I laughed as I realized that this foul stench was the closest thing I could think of to compare the state of my mind to at that very moment.

And then I began to become amused.  I was able to distance myself from the state itself and simply observe it, in much the same way that I observe and muse over my children when they wake up grouchy – these precious, sweet little souls who can behave like little %*#*’s at times.  I can be amused with them because I know eventually it will pass.  And in that moment I knew the same thing was true of my own condition.

So I just gave myself to it.  Rather than resisting, I let the negativity bubble up inside of me and just take everything over.  But as I did, try as I might, there was a bigger, stronger part of me that was completely unaffected.  It was the part of me that was observing the whole thing.  The more entertained I became, the less of a foothold those foul emotions and thoughts had.  By the end of my run, I felt calmer, freer, and experiencing a far more productive and constructive state of mind.

We will all have moments when the skies of our minds seem to darken, when the very thing someone did yesterday that didn’t affect us at all will annoy the hell out of us, when even blue skies and babies fail to bring smiles to our faces.  But these moments will eventually  pass.  We need to realize that these states of mind are just that – states.  They pass just like the weather.  And sometimes the best thing we can do is simply allow ourselves to sit in the heart of the storm and watch.  If we can do this for ourselves, we can do this for others too.  Perhaps in this way, we can identify with the part of them that is stronger than the turbulences they are experiencing so that they can do the same for themselves.

Having weathered the storms of our minds, we can appreciate even more deeply the beauty of the clear, clean freshness that follows – and use it as a backdrop on which to create our own rainbows.

Copyright Synchronistics Coaching & Consulting 2010.  All rights reserved.

Embracing Your Vision

“All our dreams can come true, if we have the courage to pursue them.”

~ Walt Disney

Recently, I had the enchanting experience of going to Disneyland with my husband and kids.  It was like stepping into a different world, one where the stresses and anxieties of the previous week simply melted away and the child in me emerged.  I was swept away by every intricate detail that was so carefully attended to by the myriad of people that make Disneyland what it is – from the towering castles and belly dropping rides to the placement of each flowering plant and the energy and appearance of every cast member.

And then I was struck by the thought that everything I was experiencing – all of the wonder and the delight and the fantasy of this place – as well as all that is associated with it – the movies, cartoons, storybooks and extended media – ALL OF THIS began with a single thought in the mind of a man who took action to make it real.  I don’t know much about Walt Disney, but I imagine he was gripped by an idea – a dream and inspiration that captured his heart and burst inside of him until he was compelled to find the people and resources to make it happen.

This guy had a vision that couldn’t help but be embraced by others.  It spoke to their hearts and their spirits and allowed them to be a part of something that did the same for everyone who came into contact with it.  Disneyland is the “happiest place on earth” because it brings out the best in everyone who experiences it.  It unlocks the magic each of us carry at some level in our being, and the most traditional of the fairy tales are about that very subject.  Even the performers in the various stages throughout the park sing refrains about looking within to find our heroes.  What an amazing creation!

Each of us gets these inspirations from time to time.  Ideas are a dime a dozen.  When was the last time you got one that made your hair stand on end?  And what did you do to take it to the next level of creation?  Did you dismiss it?  Think it was too big, or unrealistic to actually achieve?  Perhaps it is too big for just you.  But what if you were able to create a vision like Walt Disney did, that resonated in the very core of people who would gladly come to your aid to make it real?

You have something in you that is waiting for you to unleash it into the world.  The very act of doing it will rock your world, and that of others as well.  Maybe it isn’t a multimillion dollar theme park, or a screen play, or an organization.  But whatever it is will carry the uniqueness of you – who you are – and the compilation of everything each of your individual experiences has prepared you for.  And if you bring it forward with the intention of making the world a better place, you will.

Who are you to deny that you are meant for greatness?

Copyright Synchronistics Coaching & Consulting 2010.  All rights reserved.

Getting Out of Overwhelm

The last several weeks have been fraught with technical challenges that almost had me throwing my computer through the window or taking a sledgehammer to it. Fortunately, I was able to resist my destructive urges and instead come to a realization that led me to some vital insights about better leveraging my time without losing my head (and other things that are important to me). Recognizing I’m not the only one who faces productivity issues, I decided to write about what I learned in my May ezine.  Below is an excerpt of the full article, Getting Out of Overwhelm, with a link to read more.

If you would like to have these monthly articles emailed to you directly, you can subscribe at www.dianebolden.com  (and I’ll also send you my special report on 10 Traps Leaders Unwittingly Create for Themselves, and How to Avoid Them.)

Getting Out of Overwhelm

Do you ever feel as though there just aren’t enough hours in the day to get everything done?

Time is an interesting concept. On some days it seems to fly by and on others it drags. At times you might feel as though you have been muddling through something for hours with nothing to show for it, and at others you may find yourself experiencing a sudden burst of productivity and energy that allows you to do in a short amount of time what may have previously taken you several hours or even days. What is the differentiator? Wouldn’t it be great if there were some kind of lever you could pull inside yourself to get you into that productive zone?

Sometimes I just wish there were a lever to get me out of the zone that keeps me spinning from one thing to the next without making much progress on anything. Seems I’ve been in that place a lot lately. And curious by nature, I have done my best to pay attention to what I’ve been experiencing so that I can somehow make heads or tails of it. At times like these, often my surroundings have a way of reflecting back to me my own state. In this particular case, my computer was the perfect mirror.  Read more…

Copyright Synchronistics Coaching & Consulting 2010.  All rights reserved.

The Art of Conscious Living

The other day I treated myself to a massage.  It was a welcome reprieve and my muscles were sore, so it felt especially good.  Every time I do something like that, I consciously try to be in a state of hyper awareness, where nothing will escape my perception.  I want to enjoy every single second of the experience and do whatever I can to dive into it completely.  In this state, I have often felt as though perhaps it is possible to slow time down.  While the physical act of doing so is improbable (though there are some who believe there is no such thing as time), I do believe that being intensely present allows us to fill each second of our time with more awareness, more enjoyment, more of life’s sweetness than ever.

I contrast this to how I often feel driving home at the end of a long day in traffic (especially if there are screaming kids in the car), cleaning up after my dog or cat, or getting a cavity filled.  Engaged in a somewhat banal or even unpleasant activity such as this, I can to some degree disengage from it altogether, and occupy my mind with other things.  This seems to have a way of speeding everything up and making the whole experience distant and somewhat blurred upon my recollection of it.  I can drive all the way home in this state and not be able to recall a single landmark I passed along the way.

The knowledge that I have the ability to slow down or speed up time for myself in this way is interesting to me.  But what is even more intriguing – and somewhat unsettling – is the thought of how much of my life is spent somewhere between these two extremes, kind of on auto pilot.  How many times in a conversation with someone is my mind somewhere else – scanning my “to do” list, thinking of what I could prepare for dinner, or even contemplating what I want to say next?  How many times when my kids come proudly marching through the door to show me their latest artwork do I half heartedly glance up from what I’m doing and offer feigned enthusiasm?  What I miss in those moments is something I can never get back.

I used to feel it was important to capture special times on film – and lugged around a camera, camcorder (or both) at the kids’ recitals, ball games, or during vacations and holiday events.  Then one day I realized I’d get so caught up in getting the perfect shot that I missed those precious moments altogether.  And they are never quite the same when you watch them on video.  So I began to resist the urge to reach for those devices (or even bring them altogether), and instead simply immerse myself in whatever was going on.  I think the quality of my memories has improved significantly – even if I don’t have a lot of photos or videos to show for it.

What if we lived more of our lives with the kind of presence we have when we don’t want to miss a thing?  How much more in tune would we be with each other?  How much more of each other would we actually experience and enjoy?  How much more trust could we inspire and nurture?  How much more joy could we create?  How many more problems would we solve with solutions that addressed those little things that may have previously escaped our awareness and come back to bite us?   How much more of our very selves could we bring to everything that we do and everyone we are with?  And how much better the world would be because of it!

Perhaps as we become more aware of the degree to which we are really showing up, we can begin to gauge how much of our lives we are truly living.  And then we can consciously create – and enjoy – lives worth living for.

Copyright Synchronistics Coaching & Consulting 2010.  All rights reserved.

Creating Your Ideal Job

“Whatever you do in this life, take time to sit quietly and let the world tell you what it needs from you.  Take a moment to honestly understand what your gifts are – you all have them.  The way you choose to live your life brings meaning to your life.” 

~ Ann Reed

 It is amazing to me the number of people in this world who stay in jobs that they are miserable doing.  They often rationalize that must make the best of it, but in refusing to consider the options that are right before them, they may not even realize what the “best” is.  When you allow yourself to stagnate, ignoring the impulses and desires you may have to bust out of your self created constraints, you also unintentionally block the energy that you could be freeing up in those who surround you, whether they be your direct reports, your peers, your customers, your family members, or even your boss.  You do not do the world any favors by playing small.

You possess an inborn talent that allows you to do something in a way that no one else can.  When you find this talent and apply it to an area of opportunity or need within an organization, you can create a job for yourself that will reward you with immense gratification and joy.  You will be able to achieve extraordinary results with ease, and accomplish things that no one previously realized was possible.  And you will serve a vital function for the organization or community of which you are a part, which will in turn provide you with a deep sense of meaning and purpose.

The key to doing this is to pay attention to what you work on that gives you extreme satisfaction and joy and seems to come naturally to you.  It’s easy to downplay our strengths – to rationalize that they are no big deal, that everyone can do what you believe are silly little things as well as you can.  The truth is that not only can not everybody do those things with the level of skill and quality of results that you can, but also that not everybody would want to.

Creating your ideal job or opportunity is a lot like looking for the perfect candidate for a job – except in reverse.  When companies look to hire someone, they do well to spend some time identifying the specific qualifications the ideal candidate will possess – attributes, experience, behaviors, styles, skills, etc.  When creating the ideal opportunity, you are that ideal candidate spelling out the distinct responsibilities and type of work that would be a perfect match for your talents.  The more specific and concrete the job description and ideal candidate description, the more likely a company will find their person.  And the more specific and concrete your picture of the ideal opportunity for you, the more likely it will come finding you.

Even if all you can begin to do right now is entertain the idea that perhaps there is something grander out there for you, that is aligned with your talent, interests and passion, you will begin to mobilize energy in ways you could not before.  The more you can inwardly make it real for yourself, the more it will outwardly come to be.  As you move toward unleashing your true talent and being open to the opportunities that begin to present themselves to you, you will see the way to lead others –  inspiring them to bring out the best in themselves by giving them an example of how it is done.

Copyright Synchronistics Coaching & Consulting 2010.  All rights reserved.

A Change in Perspective

As I write this post, it is about 5:30 pm on a Wednesday afternoon and I’m sitting on my patio gazing over my back fence at a brand new twenty foot high three car garage that recently took the place of what used to be a spectacular mountain view.  I write about this incident because it set into motion some interesting and curious events that led me through an array of emotions.  My perspective initially produced sadness, irritation, anger and disgust, which gradually gave way to complacency and ultimately – though I never would have believed it – transformed not only into acceptance, but gratitude.

Now, believe me, if this post had been written the day after we met the man – a developer – who moved into the house across the alley from us – my tone and words would have been quite different.  We were shocked and outraged.  Wanting to be neighborly, my husband and I introduced ourselves.  With a very matter of fact manner , the man led us to his back yard and explained his plans.  Our efforts to become better acquainted were met with the words “You all are being very gracious, but it is not like I’m asking your permission.”  I remember watching his lips move but not quite receiving the impact of his words until we got back home and almost simultaneously uttered to each other – “Did he really say that?!”

To be fair, the man is a competitive water skier, and a large structure to house his equipment is apparently a necessity for him.  It is his property after all, and he has every right to build what he wants there – though it seems a bit peculiar that the new construction was reserved for his various vehicles while he apparently has elected to use the existing garage as his living quarters.  The other strange thing is that this monstrously high structure actually eviscerated his own view of the mountain – a detail that I didn’t actually notice until the initial anger subsided and my mind became curiously reflective.

But the event spun a whole series of reactions into play.  Over the initial few weeks after we met the man, we were consumed with bitterness which cast a long, dark shadow over our usually very happy household.  We couldn’t look out the window without feeling irritation and decided that we didn’t want to live in a continual state of anger.  So we began looking for a new house.  Our initial efforts were somewhat non eventful, but we did actually end up finding something not far from our old home that we really liked.  It was a short sale.  We made an offer that got accepted after what seemed like an excruciatingly long period of waiting during which we put our current home on the market for sale or lease.

When the sign went up in our front yard, I felt an intense sadness that grew more and more pronounced when people came into the house to view it.  My husband and I both were struck with how much we loved our home, the memories we shared in it (including watching all three of our children grow from babies to toddlers and beyond), and the things we did over the years to make it our own – not the least of which was a fairly substantial remodel.

The realization that we were actually moving was bittersweet.  There were many things the new house offered that the old one didn’t, and we were excited about the possibilities.  But we began to notice that the longer things played out, the less enamored we were and the more we became focused on what we would be losing.   Well, as luck would have it, the sellers defaulted on their contract and we ended up canceling the sale.

And now, I couldn’t be happier!  The monstrosity across the alley that once produced feelings of bitterness and resentment is a constant reminder for me to count my blessings and remember what is truly important in my life.  I am grateful to have a home at all – which I realize is more than many people have right now.  But I am most grateful  for the new appreciation and insight this change in perspective have given me on my power to frame and reframe the experiences that determine how I feel on any given day.  And to recognize that the old adage – home is where the heart is – is really true.  The degree to which my heart is open is exclusively dependent on me and everything I see really is a matter of perspective.  Makes me wonder what else I might be seeing that has an entirely new and empowering interpretation I have not yet landed on…

The Birth of a New Creation

Well, I finally finished writing the book I’ve been working on for the last four years – the first draft that is.  I’m well aware that the real work is only just beginning.  The whole creative process has reminded me of actually physically giving birth in so many ways, though my gestation period with the book was more than four times longer.  Come to think of it, so was the labor.

It started with the glow of an idea.  I don’t know if it showed up in my face as it may have when I was pregnant with each of my three children, but I felt it throughout my body.  The idea inspired and uplifted me and began to take on a life of its own.  As it continued to take form and I scribbled down notes that would flesh out the initial concepts, the excitement grew.

Once there was no mistaking that I would be bringing the book into the world, morning sickness set in.  When I wasn’t working on the manuscript, I felt a gnawing sense of uneasiness that beckoned me to devote time at my computer.  And when I was writing, I often had the insatiable urge to eat – especially when I felt as though the words I needed just weren’t coming fast enough.  This of course, was occasionally followed by nausea and stomach cramps.  Thankfully, no maternity clothes were necessary.

I learned that just as you cannot rush the development of a baby’s hand or ear, it is also true that you simply cannot force inspiration.  I found that my best writing came when I relaxed enough into the process to get out of my head and let something bigger come through me.  It became clear over the many months that followed that it was not mine to determine what the creation would look like or to fret over whether I was doing a good enough job with it.  It was an idea – a seed – that was within me but had surely originated from something greater.  The best thing I could do was to get out of the way and let the thing evolve as it needed to.  When I learned to content myself with simply being a vessel, things went much more smoothly.

And then as I got to the last few chapters, my level of urgency and excitement went through the roof.  I couldn’t stop writing.  Several nights a week, I woke up at two, three or four in the morning and after lying in bed wide awake for twenty or thirty minutes, simply got up and went to my computer.  The labor had begun.  And it soaked up every ounce of attention and energy I had.  I stalled on the final chapter.  I wanted the thing out – free and clear.  After writing a couple of lame sentences I fooled myself into thinking perhaps it was done.  And then I had another contraction, this one so strong and powerful that it wiped those last two sentences out and left three pages of afterword in their place.

For a week or so, the manuscript lay sleeping peacefully, breathing softly, wrapped in swaddling.  Thoroughly and completely exhausted, I couldn’t bring myself to do much of anything.   And then I realized the little guy needs care and feeding to survive.  I hired an editor to help me nurse it.  The poor thing probably has a lopsided head from being in the birth canal so long.  It needs suctioning and baby wipes and probably a good lukewarm bath too.

And I find myself now in much the same place I did after my first child was born – with the blissful yet sobering knowledge that I am now a parent – or, well, an author.  That this little thing needs me to help it make its way in the world – to support its head until its muscles are strong enough to lift it on its own, and to nurture it to the place that others can hold and enjoy it as much as I do.  Just as there are seemingly millions of books, articles and blogs written on how to raise a child, the myriad of opinions and recommendations on next steps with the manuscript are completely overwhelming.  I comfort myself with the thought that with each of my three children I felt that same sense of panic and wonder.  And that with love, dedication and an occasional bit of sleep I ended up learning everything I needed to know along the way.  I have to believe this creation will be no different.

Its name is The Pinocchio Principle ~ Becoming Real:  Authentic Leadership for the 21^st Century.  Welcome to the world, little one!

Copyright Synchronistics Coaching & Consulting 2010.  All rights reserved.

Harnessing the Power of Thought

As many of you already know, I’ve been working on writing a book on authentic leadership for over three years now (and I’m almost done!) The process of writing has illuminated many things for me, one of which is the power I believe each of us has to create the reality we experience. Last week, I wrote an entire chapter on that. And I found myself musing over the fact that while many of the experiences I’ve envisioned for myself have come to be, others have not. As I pondered the reasons for that, this month’s ezine article, Harnessing the Power of Thought, emerged. Below is an excerpt and you can click the link to read the full article.

Harnessing the Power of Thought

“There are powers inside of you which, if you could discover and use, would make of you everything you ever dreamed or imagined you could become.”

~Orison Marden Swett

The above quote is one of many I have seen over the years that references our ability to create that which we most desire. In his beautiful book “As a Man Thinketh”, first published in 1901, James Allen writes “Dream lofty dreams, and as you dream, so shall you become. Your Vision is the promise of what you shall one day be; your ideal is the prophecy of what you shall at last unveil.” Henry David Thoreau wrote “If one advances confidently in the direction of his dreams, and endeavors to live the life which he has imagined, he will meet with success unexpected in common hours.” And Napoleon Hill affirmed, “What the mind of man can conceive and believe, it can achieve.”

This power is not the result of a magic pill or some kind of sorcery. Rather than being something we must rely on others for, it is a gift we are all born with that we gradually learn to utilize as we become more and more aligned with what is most true within us. This gift is quite simply the strength of the feeling we generate when we identify with something so specifically that we take it to be real. With sustained and unwavering belief, whatever we hold in our minds and our hearts in this way becomes our reality.

As a teenager I began to read a lot about the power of positive thinking and visualization. I was enthralled by stories of athletes who would spend time imagining themselves sinking those critical shots to go on at game time and perform exactly as they rehearsed in their minds. I utilized affirmations of positive intent around the person I was becoming and the wonderful things that were coming into my life. I played with creating vision boards for myself, made from large poster paper with various pictures of things I wanted to have or symbols that represented experiences I longed for glued onto it. I created movies in my head that featured me performing anything from sports to public speaking powerfully and passionately with great success. Many of these visions and dreams have come true over the years. And some have not.

I have reflected at length on what it might be that differentiated the dreams and visions that came to fruition from those that didn’t. And I have come to the conclusion that there are three significant factors… click here to read the full article 

 

The WHO of a Leader

At the beginning of each of my Transformations in Leadership workshops, I ask participants to think of a leader that they admire and would like to emulate.  Each person then shares with the group what it is about the chosen leader that makes him or her stand out.  Some of the participants select historical figures, some modern day civic leaders, athletes, musicians or public figures.  Many talk about a current or previous boss they’ve had.  And still others will speak of a teacher, a coach or a parent.  The interesting thing about the ensuing discussion about the impressive qualities of these leaders is that it is almost never about what leaders do or have done, but rather WHO THEY ARE.

Some of the descriptions that repeatedly top the lists include “honest,” “authentic,” “courageous,” “inspiring,” “sees the best in others and believes in them,” “has vision,” “shows and earns trust and respect,” “communicates directly,” “not afraid to make mistakes,” “humble,”  “connects with people, regardless of title or position,” “walks their talk,” “builds a strong team,” “develops others,” “shares credit,” and the list goes on.

I began my career teaching people classes on how to lead – on subjects like how to create and communicate a compelling vision, how to delegate, set goals, provide performance feedback, resolve conflict, etc.  What I have realized over the years is that the extraordinary leaders are not necessarily the ones who have mastered all these techniques.  They are the ones who have the ability to speak to our hearts as well as our minds, and to awaken something in people that lies dormant, waiting to emerge.  They then nurture and focus it into the creation of something that makes the organization (or the world) a better place for everyone.  Great leaders learn to do this by first doing it for themselves.  The rest they pick up along the way.

Leadership strategies, tools and techniques fall flat unless the people who employ them have strong personal foundations.  Extraordinary leaders have learned over the years who they are and they bring the best of themselves to whatever they are doing.  Much of their wisdom has come from making mistakes and recovering from them in a way that allows others to benefit.  They refuse to be something they are not and have the courage to take a stand.  They care deeply about others, but are independent of the good opinion of others, and therefore are free to be themselves.

The best of the leaders, regardless of the role, title, or vocation, bring out the best in people.  Often they see things in others before they are able to see it in themselves.  From this space, their interaction and communication is always with the person one is becoming – the strong, capable, smart, willing, and resilient contributor who then becomes instrumental in translating vision into reality.  The extraordinary leader knows that anything less than this is an illusion.  Great leaders do not make their people great.  They simply help others to see the possibilities and invite them to the table.  They present us with a vision and a choice and create the space within which we can show up and grow.  The rest, of course, is always up to us.

Copyright Synchronistics Coaching & Consulting 2010.  All rights reserved.

If you liked this post, you may also enjoy Leadership Lit Up, and Igniting a Spark and Fanning the Flames.  Download these and other articles for free at www.DianeBolden.com/articles. While you are there, you can subscribe to receive a new feature article each month.  You will also receive my free report on 10 Traps Leaders Unwittingly Create for Themselves – and How to Avoid Them.

The Art of Affluence

A few weeks ago in a karate class I heard a marvelous Zen story that spoke to the incessant yearning we all feel from time to time to be more, do more, and have more.  This desire at times gives us the strength we need to power through some of life’s most imposing obstacles.  At other times, it has a way of creating obstacles of its own.  How can we use our aspirations in ways that work for us, and help others in the process?  That is the subject of an article called The Art of Affluence that I wrote for my February ezine.  Below is an excerpt with a link to the full article.  I hope you enjoy it!

A wise master was walking along the sandy banks of a lazy river, breathing deeply, enjoying the feel of sunshine on his skin, and taking in the beauty all around him.  Just across the river one of his students was walking anxiously back and forth, scanning the perimeter of the river and the surrounding land.  When the student saw his master, he began waving his arms and shouting, “Master! Master!”  The Master looked up and waited silently for his student to continue.  “Master,” said his student, “How do I get to the other side?”  The master simply replied, “You are already there!”

One of the many things this Zen story speaks to is the desire we all have to be more, do more, and have more.   And one thing people throughout history can’t ever seem to get enough of is money.

Wealth has been used as a scorecard for success throughout the ages.  From its conception, its lure has led many to do things that are not in the best interests of others.  We have been conditioned to believe that it is the key to freedom, happiness, and security.   People often take jobs that are not truly aligned with their talents because they fear that without them, they will not have the money they need to satisfy their basic needs.  Many seek positions of leadership because of the increased pay it has to offer and all the things they could buy as a result.

Money has also allowed organizations and people to expand their level of influence, improve the quality of services and products they offer, and attract key talent that will allow their visions to become  reality.  It allows programs to be created and perpetuated that improve the quality of life within communities and the world at large.  It pays our bills and puts food on the table.  And it allows us to travel and buy things of beauty and utility that can become the source of inspiration and joy.

There is nothing wrong with wealth, just as there is nothing wrong with prestige, power or pride.  The key is the manner in which these needs are met, and where the desire for them originates.  If the aspiration is for a greater purpose – one that is not solely self serving, the desire is aligned with a higher good and the resulting outcome will be as well.

If the motive is not in the best interests of others, it is more aligned with ego and likely to lead to objectionable behavior, such as greed, envy, insensitivity, arrogance, and paranoia.  Those who attain what they seek in an effort to serve others are far more likely to sustain it.  Those whose motives and tactics are more aligned with serving themselves alone will live in fear of the inevitable loss of their fleeting success.

Often people are drawn to formal positions of leadership for what they have to offer – power, control, prestige, and higher pay.  These things feed the ego, which would have us believe our inherent value is equated with them and that the more we have, do or achieve, the more successful we are.  The problem is that no matter how much power, control, prestige, and money we acquire, it never seems to be enough.  Life becomes a series of races, battles, and games to be won with little time left to savor the victories, which are often short lived.  Click here for the full article.

If you’d like to receive new articles each month as soon as they are published, go to www.DianeBolden.com to subscribe.  You will also receive my free report on 10 Traps Leaders Unwittingly Create for Themselves – and How to Avoid Them.

Copyright Synchronistics Coaching & Consulting 2010.  All rights reserved.