The Art of Conscious Living

The other day I treated myself to a massage.  It was a welcome reprieve and my muscles were sore, so it felt especially good.  Every time I do something like that, I consciously try to be in a state of hyper awareness, where nothing will escape my perception.  I want to enjoy every single second of the experience and do whatever I can to dive into it completely.  In this state, I have often felt as though perhaps it is possible to slow time down.  While the physical act of doing so is improbable (though there are some who believe there is no such thing as time), I do believe that being intensely present allows us to fill each second of our time with more awareness, more enjoyment, more of life’s sweetness than ever.

I contrast this to how I often feel driving home at the end of a long day in traffic (especially if there are screaming kids in the car), cleaning up after my dog or cat, or getting a cavity filled.  Engaged in a somewhat banal or even unpleasant activity such as this, I can to some degree disengage from it altogether, and occupy my mind with other things.  This seems to have a way of speeding everything up and making the whole experience distant and somewhat blurred upon my recollection of it.  I can drive all the way home in this state and not be able to recall a single landmark I passed along the way.

The knowledge that I have the ability to slow down or speed up time for myself in this way is interesting to me.  But what is even more intriguing – and somewhat unsettling – is the thought of how much of my life is spent somewhere between these two extremes, kind of on auto pilot.  How many times in a conversation with someone is my mind somewhere else – scanning my “to do” list, thinking of what I could prepare for dinner, or even contemplating what I want to say next?  How many times when my kids come proudly marching through the door to show me their latest artwork do I half heartedly glance up from what I’m doing and offer feigned enthusiasm?  What I miss in those moments is something I can never get back.

I used to feel it was important to capture special times on film – and lugged around a camera, camcorder (or both) at the kids’ recitals, ball games, or during vacations and holiday events.  Then one day I realized I’d get so caught up in getting the perfect shot that I missed those precious moments altogether.  And they are never quite the same when you watch them on video.  So I began to resist the urge to reach for those devices (or even bring them altogether), and instead simply immerse myself in whatever was going on.  I think the quality of my memories has improved significantly – even if I don’t have a lot of photos or videos to show for it.

What if we lived more of our lives with the kind of presence we have when we don’t want to miss a thing?  How much more in tune would we be with each other?  How much more of each other would we actually experience and enjoy?  How much more trust could we inspire and nurture?  How much more joy could we create?  How many more problems would we solve with solutions that addressed those little things that may have previously escaped our awareness and come back to bite us?   How much more of our very selves could we bring to everything that we do and everyone we are with?  And how much better the world would be because of it!

Perhaps as we become more aware of the degree to which we are really showing up, we can begin to gauge how much of our lives we are truly living.  And then we can consciously create – and enjoy – lives worth living for.

Copyright Synchronistics Coaching & Consulting 2010.  All rights reserved.

The WHO of a Leader

At the beginning of each of my Transformations in Leadership workshops, I ask participants to think of a leader that they admire and would like to emulate.  Each person then shares with the group what it is about the chosen leader that makes him or her stand out.  Some of the participants select historical figures, some modern day civic leaders, athletes, musicians or public figures.  Many talk about a current or previous boss they’ve had.  And still others will speak of a teacher, a coach or a parent.  The interesting thing about the ensuing discussion about the impressive qualities of these leaders is that it is almost never about what leaders do or have done, but rather WHO THEY ARE.

Some of the descriptions that repeatedly top the lists include “honest,” “authentic,” “courageous,” “inspiring,” “sees the best in others and believes in them,” “has vision,” “shows and earns trust and respect,” “communicates directly,” “not afraid to make mistakes,” “humble,”  “connects with people, regardless of title or position,” “walks their talk,” “builds a strong team,” “develops others,” “shares credit,” and the list goes on.

I began my career teaching people classes on how to lead – on subjects like how to create and communicate a compelling vision, how to delegate, set goals, provide performance feedback, resolve conflict, etc.  What I have realized over the years is that the extraordinary leaders are not necessarily the ones who have mastered all these techniques.  They are the ones who have the ability to speak to our hearts as well as our minds, and to awaken something in people that lies dormant, waiting to emerge.  They then nurture and focus it into the creation of something that makes the organization (or the world) a better place for everyone.  Great leaders learn to do this by first doing it for themselves.  The rest they pick up along the way.

Leadership strategies, tools and techniques fall flat unless the people who employ them have strong personal foundations.  Extraordinary leaders have learned over the years who they are and they bring the best of themselves to whatever they are doing.  Much of their wisdom has come from making mistakes and recovering from them in a way that allows others to benefit.  They refuse to be something they are not and have the courage to take a stand.  They care deeply about others, but are independent of the good opinion of others, and therefore are free to be themselves.

The best of the leaders, regardless of the role, title, or vocation, bring out the best in people.  Often they see things in others before they are able to see it in themselves.  From this space, their interaction and communication is always with the person one is becoming – the strong, capable, smart, willing, and resilient contributor who then becomes instrumental in translating vision into reality.  The extraordinary leader knows that anything less than this is an illusion.  Great leaders do not make their people great.  They simply help others to see the possibilities and invite them to the table.  They present us with a vision and a choice and create the space within which we can show up and grow.  The rest, of course, is always up to us.

Copyright Synchronistics Coaching & Consulting 2010.  All rights reserved.

If you liked this post, you may also enjoy Leadership Lit Up, and Igniting a Spark and Fanning the Flames.  Download these and other articles for free at www.DianeBolden.com/articles. While you are there, you can subscribe to receive a new feature article each month.  You will also receive my free report on 10 Traps Leaders Unwittingly Create for Themselves – and How to Avoid Them.

In the Presence of Greatness

Some of the most memorable performances I’ve had the opportunity to enjoy have been Springsteen concerts.  The boss.  I’ve stood in the sold out stadiums before the show started along with thousands of other people waiting eagerly for the music – and the magic – to begin.

And Springsteen really does create magic.  In a matter of minutes, he seems to effortlessly transform the entire building and everyone in it into a kind of portal that vibrates with possibility, energy, and spirit.  Throughout the rest of the evening, he takes his audience right into the music with him and allows everyone to become a part of it.  I have never left a Springsteen concert feeling anything less than incredibly inspired and somehow renewed – as though some part of me I didn’t even know I had woke up while I was there and begged to be released into the world.

The last time I saw Bruce in concert I was musing over the fact that he, like all of us, has at one time or another most likely ordered a hamburger at a fast food joint or stood in line at the grocery store.  And I reveled over what it would be like to be standing there behind him – perhaps before he recognized his own inner genius and believed in it enough to write and record the music that would inspire others to give life to their own.

Would I know that I was standing in the presence of greatness?  Could I somehow feel it?  Or would I move through the rest of my day unaware of how close I’d come to magic?

And then I began to wonder about the people I actually do stand in line behind in the grocery store these days.  Who’s to say that one of them isn’t destined to touch the lives and transform the worlds of many as well with their own unique talents and passions?

In December of 2007, the Washington Post persuaded Joshua Bell, one of the finest classical musicians in the world to be part of a social experiment.  On a cold January morning, this internationally acclaimed virtuoso stood leaning against a wall next to a trash can in a Washington DC metro station with a baseball hat on his head playing some of the most intricate pieces ever written with a violin worth over $3 million dollars.

Over the course of the forty five minutes that he played, a total of 1,097 people passed by this musician who only two days prior played a sold out theater in Boston’s Symphony Hall where the seats averaged $100.  Only seven people stopped and stayed – most of them only for a minute or two.  Twenty seven gave money, mostly change, for a total of $32 and some cents.  He ended each piece with no applause, no acknowledgement of his performance – or even his existence.

If people could be in the presence of someone like Joshua Bell while he was performing without stopping to appreciate and savor it for even a moment, perhaps it is also feasible that we are in the presence of greatness every day in some way – without even knowing.  It could be in the person who serves you your morning coffee, the guy in the cubicle next to you, one of your own children.  Maybe it could even be the person who stares back at you in the mirror.

Copyright Synchronistics Coaching & Consulting 2010.  All rights reserved.

If you liked this post, you may also enjoy Leader, Know Thyself and Give Presence.  Download these and other articles for free at www.DianeBolden.com/articles.  While you are there, you can subscribe to receive a new feature article each month.  You will also receive my free report on 10 Traps Leaders Unwittingly Create for Themselves – and How to Avoid Them.

ABOUT THIS BLOG

The more I work with people, the more I realize how very similar and connected we all are.   At one time or another, we all ponder deeper questions of who we are, what it all means, and how we can take what we’ve got and use it to make an impact in some small (or large) way.  More and more, people seem to be focusing their energy and attention on creating a life of meaning and significance and bringing more of who they really are to what they do.

This act of bringing out the very best of ourselves and others and focusing unique talents, strengths and energy into something that contributes to a greater good is what I call leadership.  It transcends vocation, title and role.  And it is more important now than ever.

Every day gives us a new opportunity to learn more about what we are capable of, what is possible, and how we can become part of something greater than ourselves.  We learn both through our disappointments and our successes, as well as those of others.  The best leaders habitually look beneath the surface to behold something greater and find a way to leverage it.  There is much to be said on the convergence of life, learning and leadership.  And that is exactly what this blog is about.

I believe there is something to be gained from collectively musing and reflecting on every day experiences.  Perhaps by examining seemingly unrelated events, we can understand and appreciate the synchronistic current that seems to pulse through all of our lives.  In the process we can unearth and harness the raw potential that lies waiting to be rediscovered within each of us – and in so doing, practice true leadership.

I don’t have all the answers.  It seems no one really does.  But I do have a lot of questions.  And sometimes all it takes to find what we seek is curiosity coupled with the awareness that these answers come from many sources.  May this blog be one more source of that wisdom – through the collective pondering and musing of a community of seekers like me and all the people I have had the good fortune to cross paths with over the course of my life.

Welcome friends, and Namaste.

For more on learning from and leveraging your everyday experiences, download Life’s Perfect Classroom at www.DianeBolden.com/articles and subscribe to the Synchronistically Speaking ezine while you are there.