My Cringe Worthy Epiphany

 

I almost didn’t post this video. It was filmed back in June – and I initially cringed when I reviewed it. But in the spirit of learning and growth, I decided to share it anyway…

I was in the middle of creating my series on learning to break habits that are hurting you.  And I had this experience that made me realize how we get stuck in habits that work against us in the first place.

It’s kind of embarrassing. But you know what? That’s life.

Often, it’s those awkward, even humiliating moments that provide us with insight, wisdom, or at the very least a little levity.

Maybe you will relate…

To your success!

Diane

 

How to Get Those Engines Running Again

 

Over the last several weeks I’ve been posting tips for leaving and returning from vacation. I took my own advice and prepared those articles to go out while I was enjoying some out of office time of my own.

But now I’m back. And I had a few more insights about how to get back in the swing of things as I navigated my own re-entry. This week’s video features four tips that helped me get back into my groove – and I’m confident they will help you too.

While these suggestions are timely after you’ve returned from being away from the office, they are also entirely fitting for anytime you are having trouble getting something done, approaching a project you’ve been putting off, or stuck in the middle of something that has you feeling stalled.

Here’s to coming back better and brighter!

Diane

A Simple Little Secret for Overcoming Inertia

Is there something you’ve wanted to do that you just can’t get yourself to act on?  You may dream and scheme, and even have a plan for moving forward.  But for whatever reason, you just haven’t been able to execute it.  Overcoming inertia is a common challenge, and it can keep you from your best work.  But it doesn’t have to.

You’re probably familiar with the law of inertia.  According to Merriam Webster, inertia is “…the inherent property of a body that makes it oppose a force that would cause a change in its motion. A body at rest and a body in motion both oppose forces that might cause acceleration.”

So, anytime you aspire to do something different, whether changing a habit or behavior, beginning a new endeavor, or creating anything – overcoming inertia is going to be a necessary and unavoidable part of the process.

It’s a powerful force.  Because it’ll lead you to believe that whatever you are about to do is going to be hard. And you may end up telling yourself stories that’ll keep you stuck.  You might convince yourself that whatever you are about to do is too complicated. Or that it’ll require too much work. Or that you don’t have the talent, energy, or wherewithal to endure it.

But what if the secret to overcoming inertia is to actually use the principle of inertia itself?

What if all you had to do to launch your new endeavor, habit, behavior, creation – or whatever you aspire to do – is just take some small action?

What if you don’t need to have it all figured out? …all your ducks in a row? …a multi-phase plan that maps every requirement, every step, and every contingency?

What if all you need to do is just START something?

Open a word doc and start writing.  Pick up the phone and make a call.  Go for a walk. Just get into action – and create new momentum – that is in alignment with whatever you ultimately want to accomplish.

If inertia is a force that leads us to continue doing what we’ve done before, by definition even the tiniest change in trajectory will begin to create a new force in a different direction.

Perhaps in this way, the smallest actions can ultimately lead to the biggest accomplishments.

I experienced the power of this a while ago, on a cold February day in Phoenix, Arizona.  And on a whim, I filmed a little video to capture my epiphany…

FULL TRANSCRIPT

Hi, Diane Bolden, executive coach and author of “The Pinocchio Principle: Becoming a Real Leader.” And I just finished my morning ride. The thought hit me to shoot a video.

It’s cold here in Phoenix, which is crazy. I know. Wa, wa. But it was 35 degrees this morning, which is cold in Phoenix in February. And I did not want to get out of bed.  And I did not want to ride the exercise bike.  But I did it.

And I had an insight while I was riding that I wanted to share with you. What I realized is that it was hard to get on the bike because I was cold and I had to push through that resistance.

But now I’m warm. I’m actually kind of hot.

And I was thinking about how this is kind of like a metaphor for life… because whenever you start something new, you feel kind of cold.  And you don’t want to.  And there’s a lot of resistance.

[NOTE:  Starting something new requires overcoming inertia – the momentum of whatever you were doing before that may be keeping you from doing what you’d like to do next.  But… you can use the force of inertial to overcome inertia.]

And the more you give yourself to it – the more you allow yourself to kind of be in the game and push, (and I don’t mean push in a negative way, I just mean to get warm, to get your feet wet, to start something somewhere), what’s interesting is the environment doesn’t change…

It’s still very cold outside, and in here, but my body’s warmer and I have the ability to do things that I couldn’t do when I first woke up. And isn’t that just the same thing with life?

We start off and we’re cold. The environment doesn’t change, the circumstances don’t change. But if you allow yourself to get in the game and to get a little warm, and to move a little bit, you might find that you change.

And when you do, you’re capable of doing things you maybe didn’t think you could.

The Secret to Success No One Ever Talks About in Business

 

I filmed this week’s video 13 years ago but didn’t share it widely back then because I wasn’t sure it would be perceived as relevant to business executives. All these years later, after conversations and work with thousands of executives, I’ve realized that not only is it fitting, but that its relevance transcends time, industry, vocation, and position.

I can say that definitively because it is about one of the most fundamental forces leaders and organizations can harness and nurture within their organizations (and themselves): the undeniable, irrefutable and universal power of LOVE.

While it’s not likely something you’ll learn about in business school, or see on a job description, or even hear talked about all that much, you’ll feel it in the organizations that have sustained success over the longest periods.

It’s shared by their employees, their customers, and anyone who interacts with them or their people. It leads to repeat business, recruitment and retention of the best and brightest talent, and performance at the highest levels.

It is the one thing that grows the more that it is given (and received). It pulls people out of their slumps, gets them to believe in themselves and each other, and leads them to find the strength and resilience they need to overcome any obstacle.

This force draws people in and opens them to new possibilities. It transcends fear and allows them to feel safe, to unearth their greatest potential, and to connect more deeply to others.

Utilizing and perpetuating love doesn’t require an advanced degree, decades of experience or a formal title and yet, it is the one thing that has allowed the most influential leaders of all time create monumental leaps of progress – by inspiring the human spirt to go above and beyond what we previously thought possible.

It’s as powerful for communities as it is for companies and the individuals within them. And it is the one thing we all have the ability to generate regardless of our circumstances, experiences, limitations or doubts.

I would venture to say we need it now more than ever – and we must each take the opportunity not only to seek it, enjoy it, create it, and share it, but also to BECOME it.

Lighthouses and Leaders: How to Live Better and Lead Brighter

 

I’ve always been drawn to lighthouses.  And this summer we traveled to visit one of my favorites…

But this trip was unlike previous visits – and it led me to some powerful insights about what lighthouses and leaders have in common.

We look to leaders to light the way.  But sometimes even the mightiest lights begin to dim.  What do you do when that happens?

This week’s video will give you some powerful tips on how you can live better and lead brighter.

You likely have a few of your own practices for refreshing and reviving yourself… I’d love to hear them!  Leave a comment here so others can benefit as well.

Here’s to reigniting your light!

Diane

FULL TRANSCRIPT:

Hi, Diane Bolden, executive coach and author of the “Pinocchio Principle: Becoming a Real Leader – How to Unleash Genius in Yourself and Those You Lead.” And I just wanted to tell you a quick story of something that happened over our summer vacation.

We went up to Northern California and one of our favorite places to visit up there is the Point Reyes Lighthouse. It was built in 1870 and back in its heyday, its light was so bright that it could be seen all the way to the horizon for 24 miles. The path to get there is beautiful. It takes a little while to get to the viewing point but once you do, it’s well worth the trip… …except for the time we were there.

It was so foggy you could barely even make out the lighthouse. I almost didn’t even snap a picture of it. But when I got home, I was really glad I did. Because I was reflecting on the whole nature of lighthouses and I realized that the fog doesn’t really matter.

The whole purpose of a lighthouse is to cut through the fog, to show a path for other people. And the lighthouse doesn’t change the fog… doesn’t take it away. It just shines its light so that other people can find their way. And I think that’s exactly what a leader does.

Regardless of your title, your vocation or your role, you have the ability to show other people a way through the thickest of challenges and to help yourself find your way too. But every once in a while, our lights as leaders start to flicker and dim and it’s really important when that happens that we tend to the light so that we can continue to help other people.

In fact, if your light’s starting to dim, one of the most generous things you can do as a leader is reignite it and do whatever you can to lead brighter. And maybe that just means slowing down long enough to catch your breath or connect the dots or reflect a little on what life’s trying to teach you. Maybe it’s about getting connected with what’s most important to you, what it is that you want, and how you can create more of that.

Maybe it’s about making the decision to recognize and release habits that are no longer serving you or just doing some things that bring you joy. Spending time with people that make you smile and laugh or doing whatever it is that lights you up. Maybe it’s taking a walk in nature or gardening or writing or listening to some great music or playing music.

I don’t know what it is for you, but you probably do. And if your light’s starting to dim a little, chances are you probably haven’t let yourself do it for a while. Regardless of how bright your light is, regularly tending to it will allow you to cut through the deepest of fog so that you can help other people find their path too.

Do you know somebody whose light could use a little brightening? Share this video with them and a little of your own light. And don’t forget to take good care of yourself – so that you too can live and lead brighter.

How to Have More Good Days at Work – and at Home

 

Work.  Some days are good, and others not so much…  Just like life, right?

Since we spend so many of our waking hours working, it’s likely that a good day at work will spill over into your life after work.  Unfortunately, a not-so-good day will do that too.

You can’t always change what comes at you in your professional life, but there are some things you can do to have a better experience of it. 

What’s interesting is that improving your experience of work won’t just allow you to enjoy your life more. It can also boost your performance, leading not only to greater satisfaction and fulfillment – but also increased effectiveness and better results.

This week’s video expands on that idea and gives you a simple example of how to have more good days at work – and at home.  The audio is a snippet of some opening comments from a previous Pinocchio Principle Unleashed group session.

Though enrollment for the fall program has now closed, the Executive Track (an individualized version that blends the curriculum with 1:1 coaching) is available anytime.

You can also bring the group program into your organization and customize it to meet your unique needs. Get more information or join the waiting list to be notified of the next group session at UnleashtheExtraordinary.com.

We all have plenty of work in our lives.  Here’s to putting more life into our work – and watching both grow infinitely richer!

 

FULL VIDEO TRANSCRIPT

One day when my son was 8 years old, he came home from camp with a riddle. He said, “Pretend you’re in a box with four walls all around you and it’s airtight. There’s no handles and no latches.  How do you get out?”

“Hmm, I responded.  “I don’t know. I think I would punch my way out.”

He said “No.”

“Okay, then I’d use my legs. I’d kick my way out.”

“No.” He was emphatic.

I thought for a moment. “Hmm. Maybe I’d try to chew my way out.”

He was getting more and more irritated with me. “No.”

I was out of ideas, “I don’t know. I give up. How do you get out?”

“Mom,” he said.  “If you’re pretending you’re in a box with airtight walls, the way you get out is you STOP PRETENDING.”

Wow, this from an eight year old.

It’s crept into my thinking several times over the years because I think it’s such a great analogy for what we do.

How Beliefs Can Become Boxes

We have these beliefs…

Have you ever thought about how your belief about work shapes your experience of work? To a large degree, we’re pretty much conditioned to believe that work is not supposed to be fun – that work is something that you do in order to earn a living, pay your bills, feed your family, and be a responsible human being. Work is something that you do and you just get through it.

And living… well, living is what you do after work, right?

It’s part of our societal conditioning. Have you ever noticed that?

You Can Break Out of Your Box

The people who enjoy their work are people who have realized that doesn’t have to be true.

“What if I didn’t think that? What if I approached it differently? What if I thought of work as an opportunity for me to do something cool, to contribute to something bigger than me? What if I thought of work as an opportunity to be around people or to partner with people that I really enjoy, or that are really interesting to me, or that I can learn from? What if I think of work as a way that I can somehow grow?”

What a novel idea.

Work is What You Make It

What’s interesting is that people who believe work is a chore, experience it that way. And they get bogged down, and they have so much to do, and they feel like they’re never going to be able to finish it. And it’s one more thing and everything’s going wrong. And then there’s this and there’s that and they can’t wait to go home.

And that person could be working side by side with somebody who believes – even just for that day, even just for that moment, that work is something different. And they will have a whole different experience. They will tell you something entirely different.

It’s not that they won’t have a whole boatload of work to do. It’s not that they won’t have pressure or deadlines and people relying on them and more to do than there’s time to do.

But there’s something about people who believe different things about work that changes the way they interact with everybody. EVERYBODY.

Learning How to Have More Good Days at Work is About Making a Choice

If you think about the last time you went even just to get a cup of coffee… the difference between somebody taking your order that never makes eye contact with you, that’s having kind of a crappy day, that is kind of wearing it on their body and the way that you feel when they serve you…

…the difference between that and somebody who when you walk in, looks you in the eye and asks you how you’re doing and maybe shares something funny or is genuinely interested in you. And really you can tell that when they ask you how you are, it’s not just part of their script. There’s something about their presence that is with you.

I guarantee you they are having a better day than the other person… not because anything different is going on, but because they made a choice to see work differently.

Make YOUR choice.

For more, visit www.UnleashtheExtraordinary.com

Make the most of your mishaps

 

We all experience our share of mishaps. But with patience and ingenuity, you can turn those setbacks into springboards. This video provides 3 examples of how it’s done. It marks the last day in the countdown to the kickoff of The Pinocchio Principle Unleashed Fast Track launching on 9/20.It’s an excerpt from one of the video lessons in the program.

If you’re thinking about attending, it’s not too late to register. Get more information and save your seat at UnleashtheExtraordinary.com. For alumni or group enrollment, email us at Support@DianeBolden.com.

How to keep life’s obstacles from stopping you

Imagine that you’re cruising along in your car headed smoothly toward your destination. And then traffic slows to a stop.

Is there an accident ahead? Construction? Some other impediment?

No worries. Your GPS has an alternate route that’ll get you exactly where you need to go.

What if you could find your way around life’s roadblocks with the same ease and efficiency as your GPS system?

You can!

The video below will show you how. It marks Day 2 in the countdown to the kickoff of The Pinocchio Principle Unleashed Fast Track launching on 9/20…

It’s an excerpt from one of the video lessons in the program. If you’re thinking about attending, it’s not too late to register. Get more information and save your seat at UnleashtheExtraordinary.com. For alumni or group enrollment, email us at Support@DianeBolden.com.

Are you on autopilot?

 

The beauty of a habit is that it allows you to take automatic action without thinking all that much about it. Unfortunately, that is also the DOWNSIDE.

More about that in this video – which marks Day 4 in the countdown to the kickoff of The Pinocchio Principle Unleashed Fast Track launching on 9/20…

This week, pay attention to what automatic behaviors and patterns you are falling into, and notice to what degree they are helping or hindering you.

If you’d like some support unlearning old habits and patterns and swapping them out for something more aligned with your desired results, consider joining me the next seven Fridays from 1 to 2:30 pm EDT for The Pinocchio Principle Unleashed Fast Track.

The program is a compilation of tools, techniques and approaches my most successful executive coaching clients have utilized over the years. It’s designed to help high achieving (and often overextended) executives rise above old habits and patterns and lead from a Genius mindset.

In addition to the group meetings, the program includes lifetime access to seven modules of video and audio content and bonus access to my Navigating Change, Challenge & Uncertainty self-study.

Get more information and save your seat at UnleashtheExtraordinary.com. For alumni or group enrollment, email us at Support@DianeBolden.com.

Is this you?

 

High achieving executives, particularly those with a heart for service and contribution, are prone to a very common pitfall…

And it keeps them from doing some of the very things they most pride themselves on.

Take a look at this short video and see if you can relate.

If it strikes a chord and you’d like some assistance avoiding (or recovering from) a similar fate, consider joining me next Friday, September 20 for the kickoff of The Pinocchio Principle Unleashed Fast Track. You’ll have lifetime access to seven modules of practical tips, tools and approaches to help you overcome stress, pressure and overwhelm and lead from a Genius mindset.

And each Friday for the next seven weeks we’ll meet via Zoom for additional training, support and live coaching.

Here’s what one participant had to say about her experience in the Pinocchio Principle Unleashed program:

Diane helped me uncover the thoughts I didn’t realize Iwas having and the things I was holding onto that were getting in the way – answering the question for me about why I couldn’t execute. I was able to let go of a lot of self-blame and really be in the present moment, deliberate about how I want to show up. I feel more intentional and more empowered in my work and my life. And I’m committed to being more thoughtful about creating my schedule and not allowing things to overwhelm me.

 Your greatest gift that you‘ll get if you’ll invest this time is that you’ll reconnect with yourself and find the answers you need – open up your mind and your heart, which is something you can’t do when you’re going a 100 miles an hour. The whole experience was very authentic. Diane is truly invested and engaged in creating something better for the people she works with.

       – Connie Phillips- President and CEO, Lutheran Social Services of the Southwest

Get more information and save your seat at UnleashtheExtraordinary.com.