Do You Suffer the Curse of Competence? How to Keep it from Stealing Your Success.

Many of us are on the verge of entering new, unchartered territory.

Some are having to do that by necessity, as a result of changing circumstances.  Others are recognizing – and answering – the call to step out and try something we’ve never done before.

Either way, it isn’t easy.  Especially if you are accustomed to (and pride yourself on) being able to do something really well.

Anytime you try something new or different, you will encounter resistance.

To assist you through these vital transitions – and to help you overcome what I call “the curse of competence”, I wanted to share something with you that I teach in my 13 week Pinocchio Principle Unleashed program.

It’s an excerpt from a video on embracing uncertainty and redefining failure.  In less than 6 minutes, you’ll gain a whole new perspective that’ll help you move beyond your greatest resistance to create and enjoy the success you are truly capable of.

 

Interested in enrolling in the spring session of The Pinocchio Principle Unleashed?  Join the waiting list to be the first to hear when registration is open. 

What Can Pinocchio Teach You About Navigating Change and Unleashing Your Genius?

 

As I’ve written in recent posts, change is coming at us right now both from the outside in and the inside out.

And change is naturally somewhat disconcerting.

But it can also be liberating and empowering – if you use it as a doorway to rediscover you who really are at your core – to unleash your GENIUS.

When you access your Genius, you’ll not only unlock your highest levels of performance and advance your career, you’ll also enjoy more freedom and fulfillment both on and off the job.

The Pinocchio Principle: The Real Leader’s Guide to Accessing the Freedom & Flow of Your Authentic Genius, my 13 week signature program, is designed to help high achieving executives do just that.  The fall session is kicking off on Wednesday, September 30.

I believe it’s more timely now than ever.  I filmed a short (5 min) video to tell you why…

You can find all the details about the program here: The Pinocchio Principle: The Real Leader’s Guide to Accessing the Freedom & Flow of Your Authentic Genius. If you have questions or just want to chat about it, you can also schedule a call with me.

But don’t wait long!  The fall session will start on Wednesday, September 30 and I intentionally limit enrollment to a small, intimate size so that each person can have the highest level of support and personalized attention.

Here’s to your Genius!

“I shared before that your program was life changing, but I wanted you to know that is even more true now. I was going through some of my session notes and I had written down some of the characteristics when you are operating in your genius, which I wrote down – trust, faith and curiosity. In a time when it would be so easy to be in fear, judgement and anxiety, I have operated in my genius during this time more than ever before at any point in my life. I have you to thank for that and I am truly grateful. Thank you!”

Porsha M. Caddell, Sr. Manager, Customer Service Business Planning, Southern California Edison

 

 

 

5 Phases of Transformation – and How to Navigate Them

 

We’re all working through our share of change – change that comes to us from the outside in.

But there’s another kind of change that happens from the inside out.

And that feels a little different. It usually comes on gradually – so gradually you may not even notice it at first.

In the video below, I’ll share the five phases of transformation that I’ve observed in my own life as well as the lives of executives I’ve coached over the years. You’ll learn what you can expect in each phase – and I’ll give you some tips for making the most of it, so you can move through it with ease and grace.

Change – even the kind that comes from the inside out – can be unsettling and anxiety producing. But it is a doorway that leads us to some of the greatest gifts life has to offer.

If you’d like some support and guidance navigating through your own transformation, I encourage you to consider joining me and a small group of fellow leaders in the fall session of The Pinocchio Principle Unleashed – The Real Leader’s Guide to Accessing the Freedom & Flow of Your Authentic Genius kicking off on Wednesday, 9/30.

I’ll be personally guiding an intimate group of executives through this process over the next thirteen weeks utilizing a powerful blend of online training, small group mastermind meetings and one-on-one coaching support. Space is limited and there are a few seats remaining.

If you have questions or want to chat about the program, feel free to set up a call.

 

 

3 Tips for Surviving and Thriving in Change

Change seems to be the only constant these days.  You can’t always stop it from happening.  And it may not be something you have a lot of control over.

But there are things you can do to take away the sting of it – and even make the changes coming at you work in your favor.

In this video, I’ll share a story of an unwelcome change I recently had to deal with and what I learned through the experience about what to do – and NOT do.

You’ll come away with 3 tips for not only making the best of the changes coming at you, but also leveraging them in a way that allows you to come out on top.

How to Find Peace in The Midst of Chaos (and why your future self will thank you)

If you stir muddy water, it will become murky and dark.

But if you allow the water to settle, the debris will eventually sink and you’ll be able to see more clearly.

The same is true of each of us.

There’s a lot to be stirred up about right now.  And perhaps that’s why it’s more important than ever for us to find our calm.

Though our current Covid-19 response is leading us to drive less and stay home more, many of us are having difficulty finding places of peace and stillness. You might feel like you’re working more than ever, now that the lines between work and home are completely blurred.

Throw a kid or two into the mix whose routines (and lives) have been completely upended and you have a perfect mix for chaos.

And of course, there is the ever-present temptation to grab your phone or iPad or fire up the television to tune into the latest news or binge watch those shows on Netflix you’ve been wanting to see.

In addition to our external distractions there is the internal commotion of our never-ending thoughts, worries, and preoccupations.

It’s enough to make your head spin.

But perhaps there is hope amidst the chaos…

I recently read that for the first time in thirty years, the Himalayas are visible from northern India. Air quality has improved in several areas of the world, including right here in the United States. These improvements are said to largely be a product of the coronavirus response that has led to fewer emissions.

What if in addition to cleaning up our air we could find a way to clear our heads as well? 

What if our future depended on it?

In such an unpredictable time as this, one thing is fairly certain: there is no more “business as usual”.  Even after our social distancing and stay at home mandates have been lifted, things are likely to be different moving forward than they’ve ever been in the past.

Out of necessity, much of life as we’ve known it has had to change – often for the better.  Many of the ways we have always done things will likely no longer be effective (or even relevant).

We have the opportunity to reinvent ways of working and being that weren’t serving us all that well and chart a new course into our future.

Now more than ever, we must cultivate the insight necessary to know what we need to do next. 

And insight is a product of slowing down, quieting our minds and tuning in to ourselves and each other.  It requires us to cut through the noise and create space for new ideas to land.

The best way to do that is to practice presence.

What exactly is presence?

The word present derives from the Latin past participle praesse meaning “to be before one”, from the roots pra – pre + esse – to be.

Presence is a state of being that’s achieved when we are truly in the moment, allowing it to unfold without judging it, labeling it, or getting lost in our thoughts about what it means or what we believe should be happening.

Presence allows us to cut through the clamor of our preoccupations, worries and fears so that our true selves can emerge. It is a gateway through which our intuition and inner wisdom enters and expresses itself.

A moment of presence is a state of grace that can produce great insights that help us to truly learn from our experiences, make the most of our opportunities and rise to our challenges in creative ways.

In moments of presence, we know who we really are and what we are truly capable of.

Have you ever noticed that people tend to match each other’s intensity and tone when they are together?

Comments about trivial matters are often matched with similar banter. Expressions of fear or dread often elicit responses that are equally charged, and expressions of anger have a way of provoking reactions that people later regret.

In a similar manner, moments of presence when shared with others can evoke powerful responses that can be revealing and transformational.

This is because when you are truly present with another human being you create a space that allows that person’s true self to come out as well.

This is why the best leaders have learned to become comfortable with silence.  They listen more than they talk, and to allow themselves to become instruments that help others to recognize their own greatness – not necessarily through anything that say or do, but rather through moments of presence that are created and shared with others.

So how does one cultivate a moment of presence?

It is really rather simple, though far easier said than done.

1) The first step is to be still.

That’s right. Sit still. I know it goes against everything you were probably taught about getting things done and being useful. But do it anyway.

You can practice now, while you read this. Become aware of your breathing, of the space you are sitting in, of the weight of your body and how it feels in this moment. Feel the life inside you and trace it to each part of your body. Listen to the sounds around you. Take a deep breath. Let it out slowly.

2) Become aware of your thoughts.

Observe the activity of your mind as it continues to process whatever is there – thoughts like, “this is silly, really – I have way too much to do to be sitting here, doing this…” and “I have to remember to call so and so back today,” and “What did my [boss, colleague, friend, etc.] mean when he/she said…”.

Recognize that you are not your thoughts, but rather the thinker of your thoughts. Simply watch them parade around, without getting sucked into them. Feel how much bigger you are than all of that. Continue to breathe it in.

3) There really is no step three.

Simply continue to repeat steps one and two, immersing yourself more deeply into the experience with each breath.

You don’t need to do this for an extended period of time, unless you want to. Often even a couple of minutes are sufficient to bring you to a more intense state of awareness and aliveness.

 In these moments of presence, you will experience things on a different level – one that allows you to respond from a deeper, wiser part of yourself. And when you are with others, you will bring out that deeper, wiser part of them as well.

The wonderful thing about practicing presence is that it creates a fertile landing place for creativity and new ideas.  The more often you do, the more frequently you may find yourself receiving inklings (often when you least expect them) about solutions to even the most confounding of problems.

Presence is incredibly powerful to practice with others as well, and a wonderful thing to engage in with the family members in your home (who you are likely seeing more of than ever before). The process is the same, except that you expand your awareness to take in the other person as well.

First, put your phone down.  Turn off your IPad, computer, television and/or any other device that could potentially steal your attention and focus.

Then, look into the eyes of the person in front of you, and listen to what they are saying. But listen to what they are not saying as well.

Presence is more about being than doing. So, allow yourself to truly BE with another, devoid of judgments, labels, and agendas. When you listen from this place, you are like water to a thirsty plant, allowing others to open up and soak in needed nutrients.

And in this space, they may just find the answers they seek as well – not because you are giving them, but because you have created a space that is illuminating for everyone.

For more on practicing presence, cultivating insight, and reinventing the way you live and lead, check out The Pinocchio Principle Unleashed: The Real Leader’s Guide to Accessing the Freedom & Flow of Your Authentic Genius.  Registration for the fall session will open soon (and if you join the waiting list, you’ll have first dibs on the limited seats that will become available).

 

 

 

Image by Gordon Johnson from Pixabay.

Three Tips for Leading Through Uncertainty

 

In the midst of change, challenge and uncertainty as massive as what are collectively facing, every one of us is being called upon to exercise a very important kind of leadership.  Whether you are at the helm of an organization, a team, a community or a family, people are likely looking to you for strength and guidance – at a time when you, yourself are seeking it as well.

In times of uncertainty, it is more important than ever
to hold fast to the conviction that each one of us has what it takes to rise above anything life may bring us.

This is what the greatest leaders have done throughout history. It’s easy to lead when things are stable and successful. It’s when all chaos breaks loose and the chances of survival are slim that the world’s heroes have inspired people to remember who they are and rise up to their most daunting challenges.

Here are three things to remember to help you summon true leadership in yourself and others:

(1) Nothing will come your way that you cannot handle.

If you want proof, consider the fact that you are still here. Think back to the last struggle or setback you faced. What did you do? How did you get through it? What did you learn? In retrospect, what would you tell yourself in order to help you get through that? And what will you tell yourself now?

Sometimes it helps to think of the worst-case scenario. What would you do? Really. What would you do? If you sit with that question and allow yourself to remain calm, you will find an answer.

Because when you get quiet, you summon that which is timeless within you – that which will not change with the uncertainty, but rather grow stronger in the face of it – your inner strength, resilience, creativity and ingenuity.

Benjamin Franklin said it well many years ago: “To be thrown upon one’s own resources, is to be cast into the very lap of fortune; four our faculties then undergo a development and display an energy of which they were previously unsusceptible.”

Getting connected to your core strength is essential and must be done before you can provide any real inspiration and motivation to others. Your confidence will emanate at a level that people will feel – before you even say a word.

(2) Once you have reconnected with your own inner reserves, help others reconnect with theirs.

Extraordinary leaders connect with people at a deeper level. They see not only what each person they lead has done in the past, but also what they are capable of in the future.

In times of chaos and uncertainty, people need to be reminded of their strengths because trying times tend to lead us to doubt ourselves and forget how very capable and strong we really are.

Think about the people who look to you for guidance and support. What has each of them done in the past that has impressed you? What are their natural talents – the things they are so good at that they make look easy? What do they tend to do that has a positive impact on themselves and everyone around them?

Maybe it is a sense of humor. Perhaps it is an ability to foresee obstacles no one anticipated and create a plan for overcoming them. Maybe it is an ability to think outside the box, a dogged determination to make things work, or a natural tendency to partner with others.

What is it that gives you faith that no matter what happens, this person will rise above it? Speak to it with sincere appreciation and encouragement. Help that person to embody those qualities once again.

When you focus on the positive attributes in others, you help them recognize they have greatness within and catalyze their potential. This is what is needed most in times of change, challenge and uncertainty.

(3) Keep people’s focus (including your own) on possibilities rather than frustrations.

As with everything in life, whatever you focus on has a way of becoming amplified. When you allow yourself to become consumed with fear and doubt, your brain has a way of finding things that feed those states.  As a result, you’ll find there seems to be even more to be afraid of or frustrated by.

This phenomenon often happens without your conscious awareness, and it is a vicious cycle that can keep you falling deeper and deeper into despair.

Reversing this cycle requires a conscious effort.

When you notice you are feeling upset by a certain thought, the first step is to become aware of the thought that has caused the reaction and deliberately choose another one to focus on. There is always something positive or hopeful to focus on. Sometimes finding it takes a bit of work, but that effort will be met with rich rewards.

A man named Ambrose Redmoon once said “Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the judgment that something else is more important.”

So, figure out what is more important – more worthy of your attention and energy and focus on that. As you do, your innate talents and strengths will rise to the occasion.

As you shift your attention from obstacles to opportunities and put your energy on what is possible, you’ll see solutions that previously evaded you and recognize that you are capable of far more than you initially realized. And when you act from this frame of reference, you’ll inspire others to do the same.

Regardless of your title, position or role, you have an opportunity to practice REAL leadership at a time when people around you need it the most.  Don’t underestimate the impact you can have on yourself and others.  Remember:

(1) Nothing will come your way that you cannot handle.

(2) Once you have reconnected with your own inner reserves, help others reconnect with theirs.

(3) Keep people’s focus (including your own) on possibilities rather than frustrations.

For more tips on navigating through change and uncertainty, check out my book, The Pinocchio Principle: Becoming a Real Leader – How to Unleash Genius in Yourself and Those You Lead, available on Amazon.com and BarnesandNoble.com.

How to Contain the Spread of… FEAR (even amidst a pandemic)

To say we are living in a time of great challenge and uncertainty would be a major understatement.

There’s no dispute that we’re currently facing a virus over which we have very little control.

But there is another contagion being propagated that we have every ability to contain. 

And that is FEAR.  

Fear does funny things to people. At its worst, it produces panic — a physical state that literally disables the brain’s ability to think clearly. There is seemingly no other explanation for the current shortage of toilet paper.  It just isn’t rational.  But the greater the shortage, the higher the demand.

When people are in fear, they bypass their ability to think and are easily influenced by mass hysteria and knee jerk reactions. They also tend to put their own needs above those of others.

Fear triggers our instinct for self-preservation, leading us to scan our environment for anything that indicates that danger is present.

But when we’re gripped by fear, we just don’t see things clearly.  And the more fear there is, the more evidence there seems to be to suggest there is something to fear, which of course elicits more fear.

Fear narrows the aperture of the lens we view things through.  In other words, we are only seeing a small fraction of the entire picture.  It’s like staring at a dot on the wall by smashing your face against it.  The dot is all you’ll see, even though the room you are in is exponentially larger than the small dot right in front of you.

• You’ll put your attention on what is wrong, rather than what is right.
• You’ll spend more time and energy on describing, complaining about, and magnifying the problem than on finding the solution.
• You’ll be more concerned with what you can get rather than what you have to give.
• You’ll focus more on what is out of your control than on things you are able to influence.
• You’ll tend to feel helpless rather than hopeful – and you’ll act in ways that lead others to feel that way too.

But each of us has the power to turn this fear response around.  And it is imperative that we do it now.

Though most of us have never lived through a pandemic as extensive as COVID-19, we have all likely weathered a few storms over the course of our lives.

And we’ve not only lived to tell about it, but also learned a thing or two along the way.  In times like these it is essential to draw upon that wiser, calmer part of ourselves that knows this too will pass – and that we can rise to these challenges with courage and grace.

I call this vital part of ourselves Genius.  Here are three simple ways to activate it:

1.  Do whatever you can to quiet your mind and calm yourself down.

When fear hijacks your system, your thinking will be cloudy, and your body will be on high alert.  The cortisol that gets released will increase your heart rate and blood pressure.  Your neural activity will be diverted from the most highly developed part of your brain to the most primal.

As a result, you’ll experience a fight, flight or freeze response.  You’ll be prone to seeing dangerous things that aren’t there – and inclined to screen out helpful things that are.

To counter that reaction, take some deep breaths.  Get oxygen flowing back into your cells.  Then, ask yourself a question that moves your neural activity back into your prefrontal cortex, the part that allows you to think deeply and make good decisions.

A question like, “What do I really want?” or “What could I do to make this situation better?” will help you get back on the right track.

The more you can quiet your mind, the more space you’ll create for inspiration and answers to come in – and the more likely you will be to recognize and act on them when they do.  Rather than unconsciously reacting, you can respond with thoughtful intention.

2.  Choose curiosity over judgment.

Once you’ve come to a fixed conclusion about something, you are not likely to consider other perspectives.  Cognitive science tells us that confirmation bias leads us to take in information that aligns with our current beliefs and screen anything that contradicts them out.

And from that mindset, you’ll run the risk of behaving in ways that make things worse.

But while judgment narrows your aperture and keeps you in a fixed position, curiosity opens it and allows you to get unstuck.  Your lens zooms OUT rather than IN.

Instead of only seeing that small black dot, you’ll take in more of your surroundings.  In place of the wall that once blocked your progress, you’ll see possibilities and solutions that can move you forward.

Notice anything you may currently be believing that could be shutting you down or causing more stress – and challenge it.  Ask yourself, “Is it really true?”.  Rather than paying attention to what your eyes are showing you, get curious and ask, “What am I NOT seeing?”

3.  Shift your focus from what you stand to lose to what you have to gain.

In the face of this international calamity, we have all had to make sacrifices.  Life as we know it has drastically changed.

Offices, schools, stores, restaurants and other establishments are closed (or have limited access). Travel has been halted.  The market is taking a hit. Your daily routine has likely been obliterated.  The safety of people you love (and you, yourself) is in question.  And as a result, social distancing has become an imperative.

But amidst all this, there are things to be optimistic about.

• • For many of us, the crazy hustle bustle that compelled us to run from one thing to another is giving way to opportunities to slow down, rest and find our bearings.
  • Our true priorities are coming into focus, allowing us to find more meaning and purpose in the things that we do and the way that we do them.
  • Though we cannot always be in each other’s physical presence, we can stay connected. We can (and must) lean on our advancing technology to communicate with, support and care for one another without being in the same room.
  • We are facing a collective challenge that has the power to bring us together despite our differences. As we worry less about ourselves and find ways to help each other, we activate reserves of strength and resilience we may not have realized we had.
  • When nothing is certain, anything is possible. We can view the current disruptions we must deal with as opportunities to find better ways of doing things we never had reason to evaluate.  We can be more intentional and conscious in everything we do.

In summary,

1. Do whatever you can to quiet your mind and calm yourself down.

2. Choose curiosity over judgment.

3. Shift your focus from what you stand to lose to what you have to gain.

As you take these steps to become more connected with your own Genius, you’ll hold a space for others to do the same.  Your ability to remain calm and optimistic will rub off.  And you’ll not only quell the virus of fear but also proactively extend the hope and optimism that will allow us to prevail both individually and collectively.

Now THAT’s something worth spreading.

For more on connecting with your Genius, check out The Pinocchio Principle: Becoming a Real Leader – How to Unleash Genius in Yourself and Others.

Did you enjoy this article?  Share with someone who could benefit from reading it: https://dianebolden.com/2020/03/19/how-to-contain-the-spread-of-fear-even-amidst-a-pandemic/

 

*Image: Pixabay 2020

5 Ways for Executives to be Less Operational and More Strategic

As we ponder what 2020 will bring, an adage comes to mind: the only thing that’s certain is change.

You can plan and prepare all you want, but the best way to be agile in a shifting environment is to stay connected to the undercurrent of emerging events and patterns – and utilize ingenuity to find the best way to rise to the coming challenges and opportunities.

And, whether you realize it or not, we’ve all been conditioned to tune out or disregard this vital source of intelligence.

The reason is, these days the speed of change (and innovation) moves very quickly …

And it becomes far too easy to rely on plans and approaches that were designed in the past, using old ways of thinking.

In the end utilizing information that is no longer relevant comes with heavy opportunity costs.

Albert Einstein once said “The intuitive mind is a sacred gift, and the rational mind it’s faithful servant. We have created a society that honors the servant and has forgotten the gift.”

This seems especially true in corporate America, where systems, processes and standard operating procedures are often revered as a means to minimize risk, variation and chaos and exert control over our environment. People go to great lengths to plan and research best practices, set guidelines in place and create controls that ensure people follow them.

And when it’s time to execute – you put your head down and run from one thing to the next, juggling multiple priorities and putting out fires, only stopping to troubleshoot when things don’t go to plan…  There never seems to be enough time to pause long enough to determine whether the path you’re running on or the tactics you’re engaging in will get you to where you want to go.

After many conversations with colleagues and clients, it’s a clear consensus that real leaders are ready for a revolution of sorts. It’s time to capitalize on the opportunity to create positive change at all levels of an organization, from top down, to bottom up, because…

If the route you’re taking isn’t aligned with your desired destination, moving faster won’t do you any favors. And relying on your plan to tell you where to go next won’t either.

When you put more importance on the tactics than you do on the strategy and cling to a plan without continually reevaluating it, you have sacrificed the strategic in the name of the operational.

As an executive coach, this is one of the major challenges I work with executives to overcome. Operational is clean. It has defined edges and finite solutions. You can check the boxes and feel a sense of closure and control with an operational approach.

Strategic on the other hand can be a bit messier. It involves stepping into uncertainty to address challenges and opportunities that are new and unfamiliar. There is usually no one right answer. It often involves taking steps out of your comfort zone. And it requires that you slow down instead of speeding up, something that most of us tend to resist because slowing down flies in the face of what we’ve been conditioned to do.

To avoid this discomfort, many executives prefer being busy to being strategic. It gives them the illusion of being productive and the burst of adrenaline that is a nice (yet ultimately unsatisfying and addictive) placebo for real progress.

But busyness isn’t going to help you hit the target necessary to advance your business. Because until you slow down long enough to assess your environment and allow your intuitive mind to partner with your rational mind, you may not even realize what your true target is, let alone how to get there.

Malcolm Gladwell echoed the wisdom of Albert Einstein his iconic book Blink: The Power of Thinking Without Thinking. He wrote, “The key to good decision making is not knowledge. It is understanding. We are swimming in the former. We are desperately lacking in the latter.”

Knowledge is the product of absorbing information. Understanding is the product of insight. And insight comes from the integration of information with experience, from slowing down long enough to practice reflection and discernment.

And that’s an important key to successfully navigating the changing landscape of “business as usual”.

We live in an age of information. You can find an abundance of resources – articles, books, dissertations, webinars, workshops, best practices, etc. on any given topic. This information tends to be descriptive of what worked in the past to address the challenges faced by people and organizations whose situations are rarely identical to our emerging challenges and opportunities.

Acting on information without discernment is like taking someone else’s prescription given for a diagnosis that you aren’t entirely certain matches your own.

And yet all too often we move full speed ahead with seeming solutions that don’t really address the true underlying problems (and often make the problem worse). Ask yourself how many times have you’ve overlooked, disregarded or suppressed inklings or rumblings that told you something is just not right.

It happens to the best of us, because we get so attached to our plans that we resist (consciously or unconsciously) anything that could potentially interfere or slow us down.

Sometimes the inklings come from within, accompanied by a sense of incongruence. It might feel as if you are wearing someone else’s clothes while trying to convince yourself that they fit just fine, even though they are way too tight. But in the name of efficiency (and because you think slowing down to address it is a luxury you can’t afford), you press on anyway.

Other times the rumbles come from others within the organization, people who aren’t so attached to the predetermined plan, who are a little closer to the real problems and issues and have a sense of what needs to be done to address them.   And they are all too often shushed by others (usually a few levels above in the hierarchy) who measure performance based on how well predetermined plans are implemented and adhered to.

So how do you turn this short-sighted, self-defeating old way of thinking dynamic around?

Here are five practical tips to get you moving in a new, more progressive and productive direction:

• Carve out time regularly for yourself to reflect, integrate and think strategically. Block this time on your calendar and hold it sacred in the same way you would a meeting with your boss or your most important customer. It doesn’t have to be a large block of time. The important thing is to slow down long enough to consider how things are going and to determine whether your approach is aligned with your desired goal. Identify what, if any, tweaks to your plan are necessary, and write down your ideas.

• Put just as much weight on the questions as you do the answers. Ask, “What are the problems I am/we are trying to solve? Could they be symptoms of a larger issue that has not yet been addressed? What are we seeing? What are we not seeing? How can we get the information and knowledge necessary to truly understand the problem and what needs to be done to effectively address it?”

• Encourage dialogue. This is a big one. Give people who are closest to the challenges and issues that are being addressed an opportunity to communicate with those who have the bigger, more strategic picture. Take steps to integrate top down and bottom up approaches by creating a forum for discussing emerging patterns, trends, problems and opportunities and dialoguing about what the best approaches and solutions may be.

• Welcome and embrace dissent. This may not be comfortable at first, but the more you can encourage people who have concerns with the current course of action to speak up, and give them opportunities to constructively express those concerns, the more likely you’ll gain the support and momentum you need to move forward. When you value people’s perspectives and contributions by listening with an open mind and a willingness to act, you’ll also have access to information that will dramatically increase your chances of success.

• Use discernment. When looking to best practices or considering recommendations from experts, determine whether they are truly a good fit (and to what degree they should be tweaked or tailored to meet the specific needs of the organization) before they are implemented.

The tendency to act operationally instead of strategically and overlook, disregard or suppress the very insight that will lead you to the best solutions and innovations, is only one of many common practices that are being challenged and improved on within the emerging real leader revolution. The focus of these new conversations and perspectives is helping both executives and the organizations they are a part of to unleash unprecedented performance, make a bigger impact and enjoy a greater sense of meaning and fulfillment in their work and their lives.

This translates into increased profitability, greater market share and stronger relationships with customers who become their biggest advocates.

If you are interested in learning more about how to liberate yourself and your organization from unproductive, self-defeating and potentially damaging ways of doing business as usual, visit www.RealLeaderRevolution.com and download your free copy of The Real Leader Revolution Manifesto.

Are You a REAL Leader? What Pinocchio Can Teach You About Becoming One

I’m thrilled to announce the re-release of my book, The Pinocchio Principle: Becoming a Real Leader with a brand new cover! In addition to a new image, the revised cover sports a new subtitle: “How to Unleash Genius in Yourself and Those You Lead”.

Often when I tell people that I wrote a leadership book called The Pinocchio Principle, they assume it must have something to do with ethics. It’s understandable, since the first thing most of us think of when we hear “Pinocchio” is a puppet whose nose grew when he lied. Pinocchio could easily be used as a metaphor for people who lie through their teeth while their proverbial noses grow…

And… it’s also easy to see why some might think it is a commentary on the importance of honesty in leadership.

While being truthful to oneself and others is a vital part of being a “real” leader, the reason I chose Pinocchio as a metaphor goes much deeper than his nose.

You see, the underlying narrative is, Pinocchio is a puppet who longs to become REAL. 

Like Pinocchio, at our core we too have a burning desire to become real, (authentic, resourceful, truer to ourselves, in better service to others, etc.) to bring into creation the greatness that resides somewhere within us.

After all, you were born with these impulses — to give form to your distinctive blends of talent, energy, passion and style.

We all come into the world equipped with far more than we are immediately able to utilize or even comprehend. And though these rich parts of ourselves are always there, they have a way of becoming latent over time.

Throughout your career, you’ve no doubt come across people who have a special way of tapping into that well of available greatness.

They seem to effortlessly draw forth bits of the magic, access energy reserves, continually improve skills and pursue their passions. These are the people we love to watch and be around — they do what they do so well that it is an art.

As they tap their inner reserves and unleash their own greatness, they inspire each of us to do the same… and that’s what sets them apart and elevates them to the level of “Real Leadership”.

In Walt Disney’s rendition of Pinocchio, the puppet encounters a blue fairy. She tells him, “When you prove yourself to be brave, truthful, and unselfish, Pinocchio, then you will become a real boy.”  You can imagine what Pinocchio might have been thinking upon hearing these words. What are these things this fairy speaks of? How do I get them? What must I do? How long will it take? Where do I start?

With the promise of a dream fulfilled, he endeavors to do whatever is necessary. And the odyssey begins. The twists and turns it takes are trials we can all relate to, and challenges that are a part of our human experience.

The qualities that the blue fairy encourages Pinocchio to demonstrate are not things he must acquire. They are attributes he already possesses. But to activate them, he must endure a series of events that allow him to realize these qualities are there and to exercise them accordingly.

In order to return to himself—his true self—Pinocchio must endure a journey of trials and tribulations that first lure him away from himself. And the same kind of drama seems to unfold in one way or another for each of us.

You have — within you — an animating Genius.

This Genius yearns to take different forms depending on the circumstances. Real Leaders could be defined as those whose Genius longs to create something for the greatest good, which is ultimately accomplished for, with and through others.

It has a keen ability to look around, see possibilities and utilize resources in a way that brings something into existence that benefits others, whether that is a family, a community, a non-profit organization, a corporation, or the world at large.

To accomplish this, leaders have the distinct charge of working with others in a way that brings out their best — that allows those we can impact to find the Genius within them and apply it in service of accomplishing a common goal.

However, before you can bring out Genius in others, you must start with yourself.

Many times the primary meaning of “to lead” is associated with directing something on a given course, or being in charge, and this can be one of the functions of leadership. But the essence of leadership is much more than that. The Merriam Webster Dictionary has the following entry as the first definition listed for the word “lead”: “a: to guide on a way especially by going in advance.”

If one of the essential functions of a leader is to bring out the best in others, this definition would suggest doing so requires that leaders first bring out the best in themselves. This, in and of itself, is the very same odyssey our friend Pinocchio finds himself on: To discover and liberate within himself what is real — divinely inspired Genius — and to courageously apply it in a way that is truthful and unselfish.

I wrote The Pinocchio Principle: Becoming a Real Leader to serve as a roadmap for bringing out the best in yourself and others. My desire is to help you bring to fruition your greatest dreams and visions and better navigate through the perils and possibilities along the way. The book was written to help you:

• Better differentiate what is true within yourself from the conditioning that would have you acting in ways that are inauthentic and self-defeating.
• Gain clarity on your unique call to leadership and leverage your experiences to prepare for something bigger.
• Explore navigational tools that will help you determine the extent to which you are on or off course and the direction you need to take next on your journey to becoming a Real Leader.
• Recognize and prevent assumptions and beliefs (your strings) that keep you from your best work so that you can utilize ego in service to something greater.
• Recognize and steer clear of the elusive promises (Pleasure Island) that divert you from your truest fulfillment.
• Face your greatest fears (the belly of the whale) in a transformational way that will reunite you with your own determination, courage and heroism.
• Rediscover the power that lies within (the fairy’s wand) to create and live your dreams.
• Find ways to return to the quiet places within yourself that nurture and inform your greatest visions.

The ultimate odyssey is always that of self-discovery. Every challenge, every opportunity gives you a chance to learn more about who you really are and to utilize your inherent gifts in service to something greater than yourself.

As I teach in The Pinocchio Principle Unleashed: The Real Leader’s Guide to Accessing the Freedom & Flow of Your Authentic Genius program, it’s only when you give yourself completely to the journey and find meaning in each step along the way, that you will truly live.

It’s your example and the unique contributions you make in the world that defines you as a Real Leader.

Now, more than ever, Real Leaders are differentiating themselves from people who simply hold fancy titles or have multitudes of people reporting to them. They exist at all levels of an organization, and they have the ability to transform it in ways that will allow it to achieve unprecedented levels of success.

Real Leaders are those who unleash Genius in themselves and others.  If you’d like to learn more about how to do that, grab your copy of The Pinocchio Principle: Becoming a Real Leader.  You can get your paperback copy on Amazon, and if you prefer Kindle, mark your calendar — next week only (11/11 through 11/15/19) in celebration of the book’s re-release, the price of the Kindle version will be reduced from $9.99 to $2.99.

Feeling Stuck? Learn How to Access Your Best Answers

My recent article, “How to Meet Change, Challenge and Uncertainty with Courage and Grace” discussed the importance of shifting from a reactive mode that is (often unthinkingly) triggered by fear and conditioning to the conscious, thoughtful, and intentionally constructive response that is characteristic of Real Leadership.

Today, I’d like to give you a concrete tool for helping you do just that – one that I often share in my presentations and workshops and also work with participants in The Pinocchio Principle Unleashed: The Real Leader’s Guide to Accessing the Freedom & Flow of Your Authentic Genius program to apply. It’s called Using the Wisdom of Hindsight in the Present.

Are you in the midst of some kind of change or challenge right now? What is occupying your thoughts and energy these days? Think about it until you can come up with a concrete example of something you may be struggling with – or simply in the process of working through.

See if you can tune into the way this challenge is leading you to feel. Frustration? Uneasiness? Doubt? Worry? Can you put your finger on what is most unnerving about the situation at hand?

Now, think back to another time that you have felt this same way. A time when you had to work through an earlier challenge. One that was perhaps equally difficult and/or anxiety provoking – or even worse than the issue you are currently facing.

Can you recall what you were thinking at the time? What were you telling yourself? What questions were you asking yourself? What worries were plaguing you? What doubts were eroding your confidence?

Imagine that you can go visit that younger version of yourself and share some advice. What would you tell yourself? What do you wish you would have known back then that you know now? What encouragement would you provide? What would you tell yourself to stop, start or continue?

You may want to pause for a moment and write that advice down.

Chances are the advice you would give to your younger self is pretty darn good guidance for you now. Rainer Maria Wilke once wrote, “The future enters into us, in order to transform itself in us, long before it happens.”

What if the very experiences you have had over the course of your life happened in perfect order to prepare you for what you would experience in your future?

What if those challenges that that left you stumped or feeling uneasy or pushed you to your edge served the purpose of helping you to discover in yourself a strength you didn’t know you had – and develop a muscle that would allow you to lift heavier weight and move bigger mountains?

Much of my work as a coach is helping people connect the dots of their own experiences in ways that help them see they have exactly what it takes to successfully address and rise above their current issues and obstacles. It is not uncommon for people to realize that what they thought was unchartered territory at its core is in fact something they are not all that unfamiliar with.

Even something you may have written off as “failure” may reveal rich insights and answers if you take the time to identify what you learned in your past that you can potentially apply to your present.

Most of us don’t pause long enough to realize the ways life has prepared us for what we face. We are all too quick to want to forget about the frustrations and anxieties of the past rather than leverage them in ways that allow us to learn and grow. And when presented with what feels like an insurmountable challenge, we tend to think we need to speed up rather than slow down.

So, you have to make a deliberate, concerted effort to turn that pattern around.

When you do that using The Wisdom of Hindsight in the Present process, you’ll begin to recognize that the biggest source of anxiety and frustration is largely based on conjecture and hypothetical situations.

You’ll also realize as you examine your past, that you likely have concrete data – evidence-based proof that you have what it takes to successfully navigate through uncertainty, to think on your feet, and to find solutions where it appeared none existed.

In so doing, you’ll shift from doubt to confidence – from what you don’t know to what you do know. And you’ll focus on what is in your control to influence rather than all the things that are beyond it.

From that mindset, you are infinitely more likely to access the courage, confidence, ingenuity, determination and resilience necessary to be successful in any situation. You’ll be more likely to see solutions to the problems that once confounded you – and to lead and inspire others to do the same.

This is the essence of Real Leadership.

If you are interested in learning more about Real Leadership and how you can unearth it in yourself and your organization,  download your copy of The Real Leader Revolution Manifesto, my most recent white paper on how to stop doing business as usual and start liberating the power of the human spirit to achieve unprecedented and sustainable success.