My Cringe Worthy Epiphany

 

I almost didn’t post this video. It was filmed back in June – and I initially cringed when I reviewed it. But in the spirit of learning and growth, I decided to share it anyway…

I was in the middle of creating my series on learning to break habits that are hurting you.  And I had this experience that made me realize how we get stuck in habits that work against us in the first place.

It’s kind of embarrassing. But you know what? That’s life.

Often, it’s those awkward, even humiliating moments that provide us with insight, wisdom, or at the very least a little levity.

Maybe you will relate…

To your success!

Diane

 

How to Change a Habit That is Hurting You – Recap and Next Steps

 

Growth is often preceded by discomfort – when it becomes apparent that a change is needed… one that you have the power to make. Yes, there are five steps, but the process is nonlinear and iterative, meaning you can jump in anywhere.

Here’s a review of the five steps I’ve posted about over the last few weeks:

(1)  Make a decision, a declaration and a commitment to yourself.

(2)  Surround yourself with reminders of what you are moving toward.

(3)  Notice how often you engage in the undesired behavior and what the impact is when you do.

(4)  Examine and challenge your assumptions.

(5)  Envision and practice a new way of doing things.

Sometimes you’ll be at step three for a while, noticing how often you’re falling into old patterns (and experiencing the pain of them) before you’re ready to move to step one, making a commitment to change.

Sometimes steps happen simultaneously ­- like when you reflect on your behavior (step three) and envision what you could do differently next time (step five).

And often when you begin figuring out what new habit you’d like to replace your old one with (step five), you begin to become aware of limiting assumptions you can challenge (step four).

This non-linear, iterative process is something that is fueled by insight.

And insight is developed through reflecting on your experiences with the intention of achieving a better outcome (and process). Whenever you endeavor to make a change, a question is launched into the ethers about what you need to do next. The answers come in the form of insight.

Insights often land when you’re doing something that gets you out of your head, like taking a shower, driving, playing ball with your kid or your dog, listening to music, gardening – whatever allows you to zoom out and allow your mind to do what it will.

Most executives are so busy running from one thing to another that they overlook the importance of slowing down and creating space for these insights to land. They often unintentionally perpetuate patterns of behavior keep them from the very results they’re working so hard to create.

You can interrupt that vicious cycle and accelerate your progress by working with a coach.

Engaging in executive coaching will not only help you get clear on your desired results and create a path to achieve them but also assist you in identifying and removing obstacles you may not even be aware of. The process of coaching helps you stay accountable to yourself while being supported through change that can be uncomfortable.

Coaching can take place via a one-on-one engagement and can be enhanced with curriculum-based programs that introduce you to tools and approaches that will expedite your process. If you’re interested in exploring what form of support would be the best fit for you, message me.

Here’s to your continued success!

Diane

The Fallacy of Failure… and How to Rise Above It

“What great thing would you attempt if you knew you could not fail?”

~ Robert H. Schuller

It’s easy to think of shooting for the moon when the idea of crashing to the ground doesn’t enter the picture. We can dream and scheme all we want, but to make our dreams real, we must act. And when we do, the idea of failure has a way of creeping in despite our best attempts to move forward.

Failure means different things to different people. But what’s most debilitating about the idea of it is having to experience or endure some kind of pain – pain of rejection, embarrassment, loss, financial ruin – not to mention its actual physical variations.

The interesting thing about pain is that, thankfully, it is usually finite. It comes and it goes. And while we don’t always have control over whether we experience it, we do seem to play a part in how long it lasts and how uncomfortable it gets.

As a kid, getting immunizations was terrifying. I remember how worked up I would get before the needle even came close to my skin. And I watched my kids do the same thing –screaming or wailing before contact was ever actually made.  But a few seconds later, the injections were completed before they even realized it.

They got off the exam table and immediately went onto other things – except when one of them, in need of a little more sympathy deliberately focused on the blood on the bandage – making the experience into something far more painful than it needed to be.

I think we do the same thing when we contemplate the pain that accompanies what we believe would be “failure”. Our minds have a way of making it far more ominous than it ever is in reality. And if we happen to find ourselves experiencing it, we can also fall into the trap of unwittingly making it more uncomfortable than it needs to be.

But we can also exercise resilience and determination in our ability to bounce back and focus on something that will allow us to move forward despite an otherwise unpleasant experience.

Because what it really comes down to is what your experiences – regardless of the way they turn out – have given you, rather than cost you. People who have accomplished extraordinary things in the world are the first to tell you that what many refer to as “failure” has plagued them time after time.  And many will tell you those experiences were prerequisites for their success.

What differentiates them from those who allowed “failure” to defeat them is that they picked themselves up, figured out what they could learn, and moved forward armed with a new awareness, a new understanding, and a renewed commitment to their greatest dreams and visions.

What great thing can YOU achieve today, knowing that you simply cannot fail?

You’ve created a compelling vision. Now what?

 

You’ve created a compelling vision. Now what?

Vision provides the guiding principle around which actions organize themselves. It makes the act of planning much more organic and natural. You can start by asking yourself a few simple questions:

• What major milestones would I need to accomplish to make my vision a reality?
• What steps would I need to take to achieve each of these milestones?
• What actions or habits could I institute to enhance or speed my progress?
• What would I need to learn that I don’t already know, and how could I gain that knowledge?
• What, if anything, do I need to stop doing that could impede or derail my progress?

The answers to these questions may come like a downpour in a brainstorming session. They could also continue to drop in and reveal themselves slowly, over time. Your ability to receive and discern these answers will be greatly enhanced when you create space to receive ongoing insight.

Often, we’re so busy moving from one thing to the next and preoccupied by thought that we fail to notice critical pieces of information, creative ideas and solutions that land softly in the corners of our minds. The noise in our heads has a way of drowning them out and the multitude of things in our line of sight obstructs our view.

There will never be a shortage of things competing for your attention. Just as you need not answer the phone every time it rings, you also do not need to allow your attention to be hijacked by everything that demands it. Instead, you can be intentional about what you allow to occupy your mind and consume your vital energy.

Creating space happens on both the physical and mental realms. Physical space is created when you block time on your calendar to work toward your vision and treat it with the same regard you would time with a client. Mental space is created when you refuse to engage with thoughts that are bringing you down or clouding your optimism.

It’s easy to believe that to make progress, you must quell your anxiety, overcome your resistance and turn negativity into positivity. But as I teach in “The Pinocchio Principle Unleashed: The Real Leader’s Guide to Accessing the Freedom & Flow of Your Authentic Genius”, when your thinking is in a low state, no amount of additional thinking will help. It only adds to the problem and blocks your innate creativity, ingenuity and resilience.

You don’t have to feel well to perform well.

Thoughts come and go. When you resist the temptation to engage with thoughts that bring you down, they eventually pass in the same way water becomes clear when it settles. Sometimes the very act of doing things without thinking too much about them brings new insights and leads you to do the very thing you worried you couldn’t – much more proficiently than you ever imagined.

So, hold your vision close, ask yourself powerful questions, and create the space to receive your answers.

Here’s to making your vision a reality!

How to Transform Overwhelm and Frustration into Enthusiasm and Engagement

 

Imagine finding yourself face down on the concrete being pummeled by some kind of hard object every thirty seconds or so.

You’re agitated and a little resentful – and you may feel like a bit of a victim.

And then suppose you lift your head and notice that the concrete you are lying on is green. Widening your view, you see that the objects being hurled at you are tennis balls. And they are coming from a machine that is firing them over a net. As you continue to look around, you notice there is a racket within arm’s reach.

And then you remember – ah yes, I signed up to learn how to play tennis.

Getting better at anything is a decision that you make to be in the game.

It’s easy to forget that the game you’re playing is one you chose for yourself when those balls are coming at you full speed, one after the other. But the simple shift of mind that comes from feeling like a victim of your circumstances to someone who has willingly stepped onto the court is one that makes all the difference in the world.

Think of anything in life you feel like you “have to” or “should” do. More than likely with that frame of mind, it will feel heavy and cumbersome. But find something about that same activity that you want or care deeply about, and suddenly everything gets a little lighter.

You find reserves you didn’t think we had. You rise to the occasion. You notice the racket that lies within your grasp and begin to use it to hit some of those balls.

The more you play, the better you get.

Granted, a few balls may slip here and there. And you may hit some in directions that don’t go anywhere near where you intended them to. But the less you care about needing to get it perfect, the more likely it is you’ll want to play the game.

And the more you play, the more of those balls you’ll be able to return.

The more of those balls you’re able to return, the higher your confidence.

And the higher your confidence, the easier and more fun the game gets.

Rest assured, there will be days when it feels like you are being pummeled. But perhaps the reason those balls come at you harder and faster is because you are ready to advance to a whole new level – one that allows you see what you’re really made of. And maybe, just maybe – the only thing you really need to focus on is showing up and being willing to play.

Game on!

Navigating Transitions: From Crossroads to Clarity – COME JOIN ME!

 

Are you at a crossroads, seeking more meaning and fulfillment in your work and life?

Join me on Friday June 21 at 2 pm EDT/11 am PDT for an empowering LinkedIn Live workshop designed to help you transform your insights into actionable reality.

In this dynamic session, you’ll gain valuable tools, approaches, and ideas that you can immediately implement to create positive change.

This workshop will guide you through the process of:

• Understanding the Current State: Explore the widespread desire for change, as many people navigate transitions, seek new opportunities, and strive for greater fulfillment. We’ll touch on the phenomenon of the Great Resignation and what people are truly searching for.

• Identifying Common Traits of Change Makers: Learn what unites those who are ready to forge new paths. Discover how letting go of the familiar and embracing uncertainty can lead to incredible opportunities for personal and professional growth.

• Overcoming Barriers: Address the common obstacles that stand in the way of progress, such as busyness, resistance to change, and self-doubt. Gain insights on how to break free from unfulfilling patterns and move towards your goals with confidence.

• Gaining Clarity and Creating a Vision: Learn practical strategies to slow down, check in with yourself, and connect the dots between your experiences and aspirations. Capture insights and begin honing your vision for the future.

This workshop is perfect for individuals and leaders ready to step into their potential, overcome obstacles, and craft a clear vision for their future. Whether you’re at a personal or professional crossroads, this session will provide you with the inspiration and practical guidance you need to move forward.

Join me and discover how to turn transitions into opportunities for clarity and transformation – register today!  Can’t make it on the 21^st? Register anyway and I’ll send you information on any additional broadcasts.

How to Keep Your Goals from Stunting Your Growth

 

Ask any corporate executive what their goals are, and they’ll likely describe targets they’re shooting for or milestones they aim to hit along the way. Goals are easy – they’re often prescribed or assigned. They’re logical and analytical and concrete.

But ask someone what their vision is, and you’ll likely get a whole different reaction.

Visions are amorphous – they require us to go beyond linear thinking to engage the heart. Vision requires us to check in with what we really want and why – to envision possibilities that we may not yet know how to achieve.

And vision is what activates the energy in people and organizations necessary to persevere through the tough stuff in service to something meaningful and compelling.

If you compare a vision to a goal, it may seem like pie in the sky.  Visions are dreamy portrayals of what is possible. Goals on the other hand are rigid and time bound and practically pragmatic. We often place too much emphasis on goals and bypass vision altogether, which leads us to constrain ourselves and put a lid on what we could otherwise conceive and achieve.

What visioning offers that goal setting hinders is the ability to think big. It allows you to transcend what you believe is possible to envision a future without knowing exactly how you will get there.

And that is really important. Because if all you do is what you already know, you will fail to create anything innovative or groundbreaking.

The Wright brothers didn’t know how they would get their creation to fly. NASA didn’t know how to put a man on the moon. Martin Luther King didn’t know how racial equality could be accomplished. In each of these cases, it was a vision that stretched their minds and informed the steps they would take to make their dreams reality.

Vision provides the guiding principle around which actions organize themselves.

It allows us to break out of our little boxes and illuminates answers and possibilities we may not have otherwise seen. We often find these answers as we go along and realize in retrospect that we never could have anticipated them.

Much like a river flows steadily toward the larger body of water that is its ultimate destination, vision propels us forward to find our way through uncertainty and unchartered territory.

A compelling vision identifies not only what you are moving toward, but also why. The bigger why provides you with inspiration you need to move beyond obstacles and other difficulties that would otherwise lead you to abandon your efforts.

You can find your vision with conscious intention and discernment. And if you are diligent in carving out the time to reflect on what is beckoning to you and give it the space to speak, your vision will find you.

For more on creating your vision and taking steps to bridge the gap between where you are and where you want to be, download my special report, “Why Real Leaders Don’t Set Goals (and what they do instead)”.

Why Believing Is Seeing – Regardless Of Proof

One day when my kids were younger, they had a play date with some friends. I heard one of them telling the other that Santa Claus wasn’t real. My son, who was eight years old at the time, vehemently defended the jolly old man, with elaborate explanations of why something not easily proven was worth believing in anyway.

It reminded me of my own childhood.

I had to laugh, as I flashed back to one of my own experiences with a little girl in my neighborhood who made fun of me for believing that a fat man in a red coat actually came down my chimney every year. I was so mad that, when she wasn’t looking, I broke all her crayons and put them back in the box (and spent the rest of the holiday season worrying that I had just put myself on the naughty list).

I have since learned that it is okay if everyone doesn’t believe what I do.

And if he hasn’t already, my son will learn that too. But he is the one who taught me something that day. I was buoyed by his unwavering belief and faith in something he’s never really seen and inspired by his example.

I can’t help but believe that those who trust in something magical will experience that magic in ways the skeptics will not. And I think the same is true in life.

There will always be someone around to tell us what cannot be done.

And there will also always be people who, upon being so told, will do it anyway. Their faith, determination, and belief in something they have yet to see will allow them to persevere until their dreams become reality.

One of my favorite authors on personal and spiritual growth, Alan Cohen, once said “You do not need to get others to believe in your truth. You just need to live it.”

Trust, faith, and perseverance go a long way.

In a world where much is uncertain and the old success formulas no longer seem to work, I believe it is more important than ever to trust in what we know to be true in our hearts, even if our minds cannot figure it all out. It may go against what we have been conditioned to believe, see, and do – but perhaps this makes it even more important.

To bust out of old paradigms that keep us from realizing our greatness, perhaps we need to stop questioning what is possible and start challenging our limits instead. As we do, we will begin to make manifest that which we previously only dreamed was possible and, through our example, show others the way to rise.

Wishing you the happiest of holidays and a bright blessed New Year!

 

If you want to enjoy more meaning and fulfillment along with stellar results all year round (both at work and at home),  The Pinocchio Principle Unleashed:  The Real Leader’s Guide to Accessing the Freedom & Flow of Your Authentic Genius can help you achieve it.

This exclusive 13-week leadership development experience goes beneath the surface of what most programs deliver, to help you learn to unleash genius in yourself and those you lead.

The Spring 2022 session will kick off in April.  Enrollment will be limited to eight participants.  Join the waiting list to have access to registration before it opens to the public.

Wishing you and yours a beautiful and blessed holiday!

 

 

 

 

 

3 Vital Steps for Personal and Professional Transformation

Though the Halloween parties and trick or treaters have come and gone, as I wrote in my last post, 3 Fundamental Truths to Help You Become What You Most Admire, you can continue to enjoy the fun and intrigue of stepping into the version of yourself you most want to explore. Every day brings with it a fresh opportunity to transform in ways that allow you to create, achieve or experience a new way of living and leading – and become more of who you truly are.

But how do you get from here to there? Last week’s article was about how to overcome the mental barriers that can keep you from even entertaining the idea of dressing up to become a better you. This week we’ll explore what you can do to play in this new arena once you’ve made that critical decision to step into a whole new level of possibility.

(1) GET CLARITY ON WHAT YOU ARE MOVING TOWARD AND WHY

Creating a compelling vision can be daunting to some because it often leads people to think they need to know exactly what everything will look like and all (or many) of the steps they need to take to get there. But the beauty of having a vision is that you don’t need to have it all figured out. You just have to want it. And getting clarity on your vision is more a matter of tuning in than crafting something that doesn’t yet exist.

When you want to move toward something, whatever it is you desire already lives and breathes in your mind. While you may not be able to describe every nuance of what it will look or feel like, chances are there are aspects of it that are quite vivid in your imagination. The more time you spend and the more freedom you give yourself to play with that vision, the more it will flesh itself out.

Just as important as tuning into what the vision looks and feels like is strengthening your connection to WHY you want it. The more it speaks to your values and deepest desires, the more meaning your vision will have and the more it will fuel you with the energy necessary to bring it into reality. This leads us to the next step.

(2) LET YOUR VISION INFORM YOUR ACTIONS

Vision provides the guiding principle around which actions organize themselves. When you start from a powerful and compelling vision, the act of planning becomes much more organic and natural. You can start by asking yourself a few simple questions:

• What major milestones would I need to accomplish to make my vision a reality?
• What steps would I need to take to achieve each of these milestones?
• What actions or habits could I institute to enhance or speed my progress?
• What would I need to learn that I don’t already know, and how could I gain that knowledge?
• What, if anything, do I need to stop doing that could impede or derail my progress?

The answers to these questions may come like a downpour in a brainstorming session you have with yourself. They could also continue to drop in and reveal themselves slowly, over time. Your ability to receive and discern these answers will be greatly enhanced with the third vital step to personal and professional transformation.

(3) CREATE SPACE TO RECEIVE ONGOING INSIGHT

Often we are so busy moving from one thing to the next, and so preoccupied by thought that we fail to notice critical pieces of information, creative ideas and solutions that land softly in the corners of our minds. The noise in our heads has a way of drowning them out and the multitude of things in our line of sight obstructs our view.

There will never be a shortage of things competing for your attention. It is important to realize that just as you need not answer the phone every time it rings, you also do not need to allow your attention to be hijacked by everything that demands it. Instead, you can be intentional about what you allow to occupy your mind and consume your vital energy.

Creating space happens on both the physical and mental realms. Physical space is created when you block time on your calendar to work toward your vision and treat it with the same regard you would time with a client or other vital stakeholder. Mental space is created when you refuse to engage with thoughts that are bringing you down or clouding your optimism.

It is easy to believe that to make progress, you must quell your anxiety, overcome your resistance and turn negativity into positivity. But as I teach in The Pinocchio Principle Unleashed: The Real Leader’s Guide to Accessing the Freedom & Flow of Your Authentic Genius, when your thinking is in a low state, no amount of additional thinking will help. It only adds to the problem and blocks your innate creativity, ingenuity and resilience. You’ll likely feel bad about feeling bad, and throw yourself into an unnecessary (and easily avoided) downward thought spiral.

You don’t have to feel well to perform well. Thoughts come and go. When you resist the temptation to engage with thoughts that bring you down, they eventually pass in the same way water becomes clear when it settles. Sometimes the very act of doing things without thinking too much about them opens up new insights and leads you to do the very thing you worried you couldn’t – much more proficiently than you ever imagined.

Personal and professional transformation doesn’t need to be a heavy, serious endeavor. The most powerful visions are those that have us moving toward something we desire because we want it, but know that even if it didn’t come to pass, our innate well-being is not at stake.

There is nothing to fix and nothing to fear. So have some fun exploring the possibilities. The more you play at it, in much the same way you play at dressing up for Halloween, the less pressure you’ll put on yourself – and the more space you create for your transformation to occur.

For more on how to bring your grandest dreams and visions into reality, download my special report Why Real Leaders Don’t Set Goals (and what they do instead) and stay tuned for more tools, techniques and tips to come.

What is Your Personal and Professional Blueprint?

 

Have you ever driven by a construction site and wondered what was being built? 

You may have seen people working diligently, each focused on their own specific task.  Maybe there were steel girders, half constructed walls, and unidentifiable objects at various stages of completion.

Upon first glance, it likely appears chaotic and messy.

But amidst the sawdust and cement blocks, something pulls it all together.  Though we may not know exactly what the larger plan is, over time the construction starts to take shape and we begin to recognize a room here, and another there.  Soon we can start to surmise the purpose and function of each room.

As the walls are plastered and paint is applied, the appearance becomes neater.

And suddenly, it is completed in all its glory – a stunning compilation of raw materials, sweat, and focused action.

Perhaps we too build things in this way.  It is nice to know in advance exactly what we are building.  But at times things may feel chaotic, disconnected and random.  We have some experiences that uplift us and others that disappoint.  Often we are without an explanation of why certain events and experiences are taking place.

But maybe underneath it all, there is a larger plan at work.

One that will reveal itself over time.  As we undertake each new experience, another wall is constructed and a new room is being built.

What if we were willing to experience our lives with the same wonder and curiosity with which we look upon that building undergoing construction?  And what if we were able to engender that same enthusiasm and optimism in everyone around us?

Are you willing to entertain the thought that somewhere within you there is a perfect blueprint of everything your life and your leadership will bring about?

And can you delight in the mystery of its gradual unfolding?

 

“A rock pile ceases to be a rock pile the moment a single man contemplates it, bearing within him the image of a cathedral.” 

-Antoine de Saint-Exupery

 

Blueprint image by Pete  from Pixabay.

Construction image by Free-Photos from Pixabay