My Most Embarrassing Moment

 

This week’s blog post, My Most Embarrassing Moment,  features a video about one of those experiences I’d rather not repeat and why the most powerful lesson from it didn’t come to me until years later.  Below I’ve expanded a bit on the key messages.

One of my most embarrassing moments happened while running on a treadmill at a gym.  When I went to fix my hair, my foot hit the part of the treadmill that wasn’t moving and I lost my balance.  I hit the belt, which was still moving and was catapulted into the middle of the room where other people were working out.  Whether it actually happened or not, it felt as though the room went silent and all eyes were on me.

I’m pretty sure I was bleeding.  Though I was bruised and in a lot of pain, it didn’t come close to the humiliation and embarrassment I was experiencing.   I smiled and nodded as people asked me if I was okay, pulled myself up and somehow hobbled out of there.  To this day, I really don’t like to run on treadmills and tend to avoid them.

The lesson I took from that experience is that treadmills would hurt me.  But there was a far more powerful lesson that I initially missed.   When I fell, I wasn’t in the moment.  My head was somewhere else.  I wasn’t conscious or balanced and as a result, bad things happened.  My belief that treadmills will hurt me and I need to stay away from them is an assumption.  A faulty assumption.

In my new book, The Pinocchio Principle: Becoming the Leader You Were Born to Be, I drew an analogy of assumptions like these to the strings that keep Pinocchio from realizing his dream of becoming real and doing what he really wanted to do.   My assumption that I need to stay away from treadmills is keeping me from what could otherwise be a very enjoyable experience, particularly if I don’t have the luxury of running outside.  I’ve written a whole chapter about how our assumptions keep us from doing the things we really want to do in our lives and how we can dismantle these strings so that we can live and lead in new, powerful ways.

What’s your treadmill story?  Maybe it is something you tried that didn’t go very well and led you to  rule out the whole experience and figure you were no good at it.  Maybe your story is about a person that reminds you of someone from your past with whom you didn’t have a good experience.  In either case, chances are you’re believing things that are not necessarily true and keeping you from something that could be really great.

What would you need to do to be free of that?

Click here if you’d like to order a copy of The Pinocchio Principle, or go to www.PinocchioPrinciple.com for more information.

Become a subscriber at  www.DianeBolden.com and receive my free report:  Ten Traps Leaders Unwittingly Set for Themselves…and How to Avoid Them.

Though comments are currently closed, please feel free to email me at Diane@DianeBolden.com with your feedback, questions and thoughts.  Have a specific challenge you’d like to see a post written about?  Let me know.  I’d love to hear from you!

Why I Wrote “The Pinocchio Principle”

This video is about what led me to write The Pinocchio Principle:  Becoming the Leader You Were Born to Be.  If you cannot see it on the page, click here to view it.  Below I have expanded on the key messages.  I hope you enjoy it!

What I really love about coaching is that it is not about telling people what to do or giving them answers.  The beauty and the magic that happens with coaching is that the client gets connected with something inside of them that has all the answers they need.  It is their inner wisdom – their creativity, ingenuity and resilience.  It is also the seed that contains within it their unique talent, style, energy and passion.  And it is amazing to see it come out.

I seek to do this for myself.  I want to instill it in my kids.  If I could give anything to the world, it would be to show people how to connect to the core of their true selves and to have the courage to bring that to whatever they are doing.  I spend a lot of time reflecting on what I can do to get clearer on the process – and what I might be able to write about that could tell the story.  One day when I was journaling, Pinocchio popped into my writing.

Pinocchio is a universal story – he is an archetype that mirrors so much of what is happening in our lives right now.  Most people think of him as the guy whose nose grew when he lied.  But Pinocchio is a story of a puppet that longed to be real.  He wanted to transcend that stiff, hollow wooden frame and do things in the world that he couldn’t do as a puppet.

So many of us are at a place where we are ready to go beyond the boundaries we have previously set for ourselves – to dig deeper, dream bigger, and fly higher.  We long to shed the strings that keep us tied to illusions that are simply not true – about what we need to do or be to enjoy success, and the limits that we think will keep us from achieving it.  Like Pinocchio, so many of us long to be REAL – who we really are beyond the constraints that keep us bound.

What I love about Pinocchio is that he messed up.  He told lies and then he recognized the consequences.  He landed himself in a cage.  He succumbed to temptation.  He had misstep after misstep.  And yet what the Blue Fairy told him was that to become REAL, he would need to prove himself brave, truthful and unselfish.  And I think the same thing is true for all of us.  Our journeys will be full of obstacles as well – and there will be times of frustration, anxiety and stress.  The experiences we have will activate the courage we have within to be true to ourselves and others and of service in the world, just as Pinocchio’s experiences did for him.

That’s why I wrote The Pinocchio Principle:  Becoming the Leader You Were Born to Be.  It’s really a road map to help each of us take whatever experience we are having right now and utilize it as a window into ourselves that allows us to tap into whatever we need to rise above any situation that we find ourselves in.  My hope is that it will help you navigate the perils and possibilities of your own personal odyssey so that you can unearth your greatness and bring it into the world in such a way that it blesses your own life as well as that of others.  As you do this for yourself, you will inspire others to do the same – which I believe is the mark of a true leader – regardless of your vocation, title or role.

The Pinocchio Principle: Becoming the Leader You Were Born to Be will be released on 1/11/11 and is now available for preorder at www.PinocchioPrinciple.com.  I will also be working with a small group of eight people to lead them through this process (based on the book) as well.  A few spots still remain.  We’ll meet at my office in Phoenix every other Thursday from 11:30am to 1:00pm from 1/13/11 through 6/16/11.  For more information or to register, go to www.DianeBolden.com/AIAL.html.   The cost is $900 ($75 a session) and payment plans are available.

Become a subscriber at  www.DianeBolden.com and receive my free report:  Ten Traps Leaders Unwittingly Set for Themselves…and How to Avoid Them.

Though comments are currently closed, please feel free to email me at Diane@DianeBolden.com with your feedback, questions and thoughts.  Have a specific challenge you’d like to see a post written about?  Let me know.  I’d love to hear from you!

Paths to Proficiency

“Every master was once a disaster.”

I heard someone say that the other day in a yoga class.  It gave me comfort.  Because I am all too familiar with that awkward, humbling stage that comes with learning something new – when you want to run with the stallions but feel more like a donkey.  It’s a universal phenomenon, really.  Ralph Waldo Emerson reminds us that “Every artist was once an amateur.”

We can all learn a lot about our paths to proficiency by looking at the ways in which we have mastered things over the course of our lives – whether it be how to drive a car, play our favorite sport, or take up a new hobby.  Today, as I was finishing my yoga class, I realized how my experiences on my yoga mat mirror those in my life – and how I can transfer my learnings from one arena to the other.  For what it’s worth, I thought I’d share a few of my insights.

(1) There is power in persistent practice.   Every once in awhile a yoga instructor demonstrates a pose that evokes a “you’ve got to be kidding” response from me.  I always give it a try, and usually the first time I do I look a lot like I feel – completely inept.  There is one pose that I have recently dreaded and just about every time I’ve gone to yoga for the last few weeks, this instructor builds it into the class.  Ugh.  Not again.  But I muster up my strength and give it a shot every time, and I have to say it gradually has become less and less onerous to me.  This morning I was actually able to hold the pose – it was only for a few seconds – but I did it!  And I realize the more I practice, the better I will get at that and the easier and more fun it will become.

Isn’t that like life, though?  Every day there are things you can sail through and then there will be those areas that require a lot of hard work, practice and patience before you can feel even the least bit effective.  But if you keep at it, one day you will surprise yourself with how far you have come.  And everything that led up to that point will be worth it.

(2) Learn from and admire others, but don’t compare yourself to them.  Sometimes this is a thin line.  As a novice, you need to watch people perform so that you can see how things are done.  And even as you get pretty good, you can still learn a lot from others’ examples.  But the minute you begin to compare yourself, you will lose your focus and dilute your effectiveness.  This is true regardless of whether comparing yourself to others makes you feel inferior or superior.  Let me explain.

In yoga, when I watch someone do something to get the proper technique and admire their grace, I can pick up a few tips and then concentrate on getting into my zone so I can do what I need to in the way I need to do it.  But the minute I look over at the person next to me to see if I’m doing better or worse, I lose my balance and fall down.  I have learned that the same thing holds true in my personal and professional life as well.

When we gauge how well we are doing by comparing ourselves to others, the energy and focus that is required to perform effectively becomes scattered.  When you believe you are not measuring up, the confidence that is vital to your success gets sapped.  And if you do not believe you can do something, you will inevitably prove yourself right.  On the other end of the spectrum, when you believe you are outperforming others and become a little too smug, your confidence can turn into arrogance which shifts your focus from what you are doing to how others are perceiving you.  And anything that is more focused on appearances than substance lacks foundation and eventually crumbles.

The best of the best gain their confidence from within – as a product of their effort, focus, and the results that come with effort and focus.  They don’t need to compare themselves to other to know that they are good – or to know that they can get even better.

(3) Lighten up and have some fun.  In yoga, the instructors are quick to remind people that falling over is par for the course and that the important thing is to just keep on trying – and to play at it.  The people in those classes who seem so good at yoga that they could be teaching the class themselves are the first to tell you about how many times they fell over or how long it took them to get to where they are.  And they will also tell you that they still fall occasionally.  Why?  Because once you master something in yoga, there is always a way to deepen the pose or increase the level of difficulty.  But when you challenge your balance and fall out of it, you learn what you need to do to stay in it longer next time.  That’s how mastery happens.

The same thing is true in life.  When we get all balled up in knots trying to make things perfect and avoiding every possible misstep, we risk becoming stagnant and playing small.  Getting too attached to the results leads us to stiffen up and become consumed with needing things to happen in the exact way we want them to.  Without flexibility, we lose our ability to bend and make the necessary course corrections that allow us to ultimately excel.  If you ever look at the top performers in any industry, sport, or artistic endeavor you will notice that accompanying their intensity is an ability to relax into their game in such a way that it appears easy and natural.  The ability to play at work is another mark of the master.

(4) Replenish yourself regularly.  My favorite part of yoga is the last five minutes of each class.  They call it Shivasana.  It’s where the previous fifty to eighty minutes of stretching, strengthening and balancing give way to lying flat on your back relaxing every muscle of your body.  It is in these last few moments of the class, the instructors will tell you, that all the benefits of the practice take root.  In these moments, the mind becomes clear, and stress and tension melt away.  The end result is a feeling of freshness and revitalized energy that lasts throughout the day.

In our frenetic lives, it is easy to forget about the importance of pausing every once in awhile to make the most of our experiences – whether by giving ourselves a needed break, or simply taking a moment to assess where we are going, to what degree we are still on course, and what, if any, course corrections are necessary.  Being willing to invest our precious time into replenishing ourselves in this way pays handsome dividends – and sometimes the times we think we can’t afford to slow down are in fact the times we cannot afford not to.

My new book, The Pinocchio Principle: Becoming the Leader You Were Born to Be is about getting back to the basics of who you really are, what you are here to accomplish, and how you can unearth your greatness in a way that inspires others to do the same.  It is now available on Amazon.

 

Picture by Vvvstep from Dreamstime.com.

Priorities, Productivity and Perspective

Do you ever feel as though your life is just one big to do list that never gets completed?

Well, if you do you’re not alone.  Many of us feel as though a starting gun goes off at the beginning of the day and the hours that follow seem a lot like a marathon with no finish line.  Some spend their nights dreaming of the things they worked on during the day or what has yet to be done.  And others lie awake thinking about it.  It reminds me of the poor guy in Greek mythology, Sisyphus, who was condemned to roll a great boulder to the top of a hill only to have it roll back down just before he reached the summit.

I was feeling this way recently, and in the midst of the craze I was aware of a longing to escape from the tyranny I had created for myself.  And it really is a self created tyranny. So much of our lives is dictated by the habits and patterns we fall into and the way we think about things.  The danger is when we become so tangled up in routines and thoughts that we forget that we are the ones who created them.  A good coach can help you pinpoint the underlying patterns that are the root of the anxiety you are experiencing – so that you can take steps to alleviate your suffering.   And with practice, we can all learn to do this for ourselves as well.

I don’t know if I have this whole thing licked just yet, but I believe I’m making progress.  I thought it might be helpful to share the process I went through.  Though the solution I came up with may not be the right one for you, the process itself may help you find one that is a perfect fit.

(1)  GET A DIFFERENT PERSPECTIVE. 

When you get to that point where you feel something’s got to give, the most powerful thing you can do is find a way to pull yourself up and out for a bit – so that instead of being immersed in your pattern, you can simply observe it.  I noticed that I was in a continual state of churning — so preoccupied with wanting to keep working at things on my list that I had little patience for anything else that required my attention, including my kids.  I was acting in a way that was inconsistent with my true values.  And I didn’t like what I saw.

It became apparent that I was having trouble shifting gears from achieving my work related goals to giving energy to other equally important parts of my life.  I realized the pressure I was experiencing to finish everything before I could attend to what was next was largely self imposed.  What I really want is to experience a sense of ease and lightness in the things that I do — to enjoy not just the outcome, but also the process of achieving my goals and living my life itself – all areas of my life.

(2)  CREATE A SYSTEM THAT SUPPORTS YOUR NEW PERSPECTIVE. 

Ask yourself the question, what do I need to do to align my actions with my new way of thinking?  What new habits or patterns can I create that will better serve me?  I had to remind myself that finishing everything on my to do list is a pipe dream that only leads to disappointment.  I remembered my own advice to clients – use your never ending “to do” list as a “maybe I’ll do list” so that your mind can rest in knowing that nothing is going to fall through the cracks.  With that in mind, I created the following system for myself:

• Each day, I identify a list of my top three to five priority tasks from my “maybe I’ll do list” as well as some additional items that would be great to do but okay to leave undone if necessary.  I enter these things on a “THINGS TO DO TODAY” list on my calendar in an appointment slot at the beginning of the day.  I also create a “THINGS I DID TODAY” entry as an appointment slot at the end of the day.
•  Throughout the day, as I accomplish things, I transfer them from my “THINGS TO DO” list to my “THINGS I DID” list, and take delight as the former list gets smaller while the latter grows larger.  (It’s even a bigger thrill for me than checking a box!)
•  At the end of the day I spend twenty minutes to stop, assess and plan for the next day.  I acknowledge myself for what I have completed.  I look at what remains on my “THINGS TO DO LIST” for that day and transfer any incomplete items to my  “THINGS TO DO” list for the next day (which leaves my THINGS TO DO list for that day blank and gives me a feeling of closure  – woo hoo!).  I take a look at my calendar and my “maybe I’ll do list”  to assess what my priorities are for the following day and add them to the next day’s list.  Then I clean off my desk and go pick up my kids.

Granted, there will be days where all heck breaks loose and I’m unable to follow my system the way I’ve planned it.  And that’s OK.  The more I follow it, the more engrained and natural it will become.  My goal is to change my feeling of being out of control to become more intentional and conscious about the way I use my time.  So any little change will be progress.  I encourage you to be kind to yourself as you endeavor to change your habits and patterns as well.

(3) BEGIN WITH THE END IN MIND

You can start this before you go to bed at night.  Envision yourself waking with energy, enthusiasm and inspiration.  I like to take a quick glance at my “THINGS TO DO LIST” for the next day with gratitude that I will have everything I need to accomplish it.  I believe this allows my subconscious mind to begin working on things while I sleep – which will potentially  lead to new insights when I awaken.

As you begin your day,  get very clear on what you’d like to experience by day’s end — and every moment in between and see if you can experience that state before you even begin.  See if you can remember the last time you were in your productive zone, where you accomplished more than you thought possible.  Move into that feeling and replicate it for yourself.  If you find yourself becoming anxious, stressed, or slipping into old patterns, come back to your intention and desired perspective,  take a deep breath and let it inform your action.

The important thing is to tap into your inner genius to find the answers you most need.  I’ve found this to be so important that I’ve written a book about it.  It’s called The Pinocchio Principle ~ Being Real: Becoming the Leader You Were Born to Be and it will be released on 1/11/11.  I’ve also decided to work with a small group of eight people to lead them through this process (based on the book) as well.  A few spots still remain.  We’ll meet at my office in Phoenix for 90 minutes twice a month for a period of six months, beginning in January.  Contact me at Diane@DianeBolden.com if you are interested in participating.  The cost is $900 ($75 a session) and payment plans are available.

Stay tuned for more information and subscribe to my free monthly ezine at www.DianeBolden.com to hear about free upcoming events, videos and teleseminars.

Though comments are currently closed, please feel free to email me at Diane@DianeBolden.com with your feedback, questions and thoughts.  Have a specific challenge you’d like to see a post written about?  Let me know.  I’d love to hear from you!

In Search of Greatness: Finding Your Zone

Last night Tom Petty was in town and I was lucky enough to get a last minute opportunity to watch him perform.  Chuck Berry – at age 83 – was the opening act.  He moved and grooved and belted out his tunes with just as much energy and passion that he did fifty years ago.  And then TP and the Heartbreakers took the stage.  They rocked the house.  People were out of their seats from the very first song and transported to a place that transcended time and space – where worries, tension and stress simply melt away.

I love to watch people who have mastered their craft enter their zones.  They are mesmerizing.  Uplifting.  Inspiring.  Fascinating to watch.  And their energy is contagious.  They have the ability to connect with people they’ve never even seen before and somehow leave them in a better state than they were before.  Their impact on us remains long after we have parted ways.

It’s easy to see this state of grace in people who perform – like musicians, actors, athletes, speakers, dancers, etc.  But any of us can get into a zone that allows us to experience a state of flow, where we become one with the work in such a way that it can feel effortless and transformational.  And that can have a powerful impact on everyone around us as well.

As I watched Tom Petty perform, I noticed  three major things about him that I believe are key to finding your zone – no matter who you are or what you do.

(1)  Don’t take yourself too seriously.

“It’s all right if you love me.  It’s all right if you don’t.”  Classic line from a classic Tom Petty song.  I imagine the first time he performed, he probably cared a lot about what people thought of him.  Most of us have gotten hooked into worrying about the opinion of others at one time or another.  Wanting to win approval and admiration isn’t a crime.  And there is nothing wrong with desiring success.  But getting too attached to it can have adverse effects.  It’ll trip you up and keep you from entering your zone.  There is a sweet spot that Tom Petty and other great masters of their crafts have found – one that allows them to play at success without becoming preoccupied with it.  The paradox is that letting go of the intense need for success seems to have a way of somehow unlocking the gates for it to come in – and it makes everything a lot more fun.

(2)  Be WHERE you are.

The timeless place Tom Petty transported his audience to was largely a product of his own ability to completely immerse himself in what was taking place around him in each moment.  He could not have been more present.  In this state, we do not fret over things that happened yesterday or worry about what might happen tomorrow.  We simply allow things to unfold around us in such a way that we can remain tuned in and turned on.  We connect with our intuition.  We act on our insights and learn to improvise.  Rather than waiting for the “right opportunity” to do what we love, we begin where we are and allow everything that we do to be an expression of love in and of itself.  And we create a space that connects us to others in profound ways.

(3)  Be WHO you are.

Tom Petty’s voice is distinctive.  And so is his style.  Maybe he found it immediately.  Maybe, like many of us, he started out by emulating someone else before he discovered that what came naturally to him worked better than anything else he tried.    Great artists often learn by studying and duplicating the work of other artists.  But the best of the best eventually break out of the mold and find their unique form.  The same is true for each of us.  We begin our lives by learning from and  mirroring others, but at some point the time comes for us to step into and embrace our uniqueness.  Gradually, we learn to trust that the gifts we have each been given are there for a reason and find ways to put them to use.  As we believe in ourselves and our ability to contribute to something greater than ourselves, our work – like that of Tom Petty and Chuck Berry – becomes an inspiration to others.

As I was leaving the stadium after the concert had ended, I noticed a man on the street playing his heart out on a tenor sax.   Taped to the pole he was standing next to was a large cardboard sign on which was written in bold black letters the words:

“YOU HAVE GREATNESS WITHIN YOU.

SHARE IT WITH THE WORLD.

BELIEVE IN YOURSELF AND YOUR DREAMS

AND THEY WILL COME TRUE.”

I couldn’t agree more.

My new book, The Pinocchio Principle ~ Becoming Real: Authentic Leadership for the 21st Century is about unleashing your greatness.  It will be released on January 11, 2011 and will soon be available to pre-order.  Stay tuned for more information and subscribe to my free monthly ezine at www.DianeBolden.com to hear about free upcoming events, videos and teleseminars.

Though comments are currently closed, please feel free to email me at Diane@DianeBolden.com with your feedback, questions and thoughts.  Have a specific challenge you’d like to see a post written about?  Let me know.  I’d love to hear from you!

Outwitting Overwhelm – from Frustration to Freedom

If you’ve been following my blog for the last few weeks, you may have noticed that many of the posts have been about getting unstuck, overcoming procrastination and overwhelm, and moving forward.  That’s because these are challenges I’ve been working through lately.  And one of the best ways I know to find answers and solutions to my challenges is, well, to write about them.  I think it’s because writing about something requires you to hold a question in your mind that allows you to access answers.  Sometimes my answers come through writing, and sometimes they come through in other ways.

One of the insights I received came through watching my nine year old son do his homework.  There is a dynamic there that has both fascinated and frustrated me.  The kid is really smart.  And his homework is really not that hard.  He could sit down and finish it in a matter of minutes.  But the second he pulls it out of his backpack, something happens that literally freezes him in his tracks.  It’s as if a huge mountain has suddenly erupted out of the page and grown into a formidable and intimidating barrier between what he needs to do and his ability to get it done.

He sits and stares at the paper.  He complains about the work it requires him to do.  He worries that he’s not going to be able to do it right (or at all).  And then any little thing that captures his attention suddenly absorbs every ounce of energy and focus he has.  A bug.  A little drop of water on the counter.  The way the numbers on the digital clock change with each minute.  Thin air has even captivated him in this state.  And hours can go by before he has mustered enough courage and motivation to even raise a pencil to paper.

“Ryan,” my husband and I tell him, “in the time you take to complain and fuss about it, you could have it finished!”  “You can easily do this – you are so smart!”  we tell him.  Amazing.  None of that seems to get through.

And then I realized that my son is a mirror image of me when I get overwhelmed.

It’s not that the tasks are all that hard or the obstacles too entirely difficult to overcome.  It’s that somehow my mind enlarges them to several times their normal size so that it feels as though I am getting ready to tackle Mount Everest when in reality I only need to take a little stroll around the block.  I tell myself stories (sometimes consciously and other times unconsciously) about how difficult things will be – especially things I’ve never done before.  And I get sucked into the crazy fallacy I have battled my entire life that has me believing I need to get everything perfect.  Before I even realize what’s going on, I feel totally fatigued – can’t even think straight.  And then I need to just sit for awhile – or go find something to do that is easy, so I can check a box and feel as though I have accomplished something, anything.

So now I know where my son gets it.  Instead of trying to teach him.  I have decided to allow him to be my teacher.  In addition to showing me what is standing in my way, he has reminded me that all the words in the world don’t make a difference when you are trying to teach someone to do something you have not yet mastered.  Kids learn through action, not words.   And so do adults.

So if I’m going to do even a lick of good for this kid, (and my other kids, and my clients, and anyone else I might want to help), I have got to get busy working on myself.  But how do you overcome a lifetime of perfectionistic  patterns that keep you from taking the action necessary to achieve your grandest visions and goals?

With this question at the top of my mind, I went for a run.  As with just about any of my runs, the first fifteen minutes was hard.  I was tired and stiff.  It wasn’t fun.  But I powered through it.   And then I got into my zone.  My legs felt lighter.  My breathing evened out.  My head began to clear.  I started to enjoy myself.  And I ran a little faster and a little harder.  It felt good.

And then I had a second, equally powerful insight.  To break out of the perfectionism trap – to get out of overwhelm, to free myself from my own self-created prison, I simply need to get into action.  To take even one small step toward my desired goal – with the knowledge that at first it may be uncomfortable, stilted, far from pretty, less than perfect.  And then to take another, and another and another.  Until finally I reach my zone.  I have a feeling the more diligence and effort I put into those initial steps, the more quickly I will get through that “warm up” period and into a place where I can actually make headway – and – dare I say it – even have some fun?! 

So that’s my simple plan.  And I’m sticking to it.  And when I need a little more motivation and inspiration, I’m going to go hang out with my son for awhile.

“Life is like riding a bicycle.  To keep your balance, you must keep moving.” 

~ Albert Einstein

  Copyright Synchronistics Coaching & Consulting 2010.  All rights reserved.

If you liked this post, you may enjoy other articles written about Boosting Creativity, Productivity & Effectiveness.  Download these and others for free at www.DianeBolden.com/solutions.  While you are there, you can subscribe to receive a new feature article each month.  You will also receive my free report on 10 Traps Leaders Unwittingly Create for Themselves – and How to Avoid Them.

Though comments are currently closed, please feel free to email me at Diane@DianeBolden.com with your feedback, questions and thoughts.  Have a specific challenge you’d like to see a post written about?  Let me know.  I’d love to hear from you!

Getting Unstuck – The Power of Purpose

Do you ever have trouble getting something done?  Something big?

(Or maybe something that feels big?)

When faced with a rather large task or project, it is easy to get bogged down in the details and the heaviness that comes with them.  We can experience what feels like a never ending process of having to check a bunch of boxes to advance something toward completion.  And when the project we are working on requires us to do something new – something uncomfortable and challenging – it is easy to get mired in feelings of fear, frustration and anxiety.  All of these things can keep us feeling stuck.

Our focus goes from the joy of getting something done to the frustration of having something undone.  In this state, many of us tend to become rather mechanized, as we try to get clear on the steps before us and what we need to do to accomplish them.  We can also put a lot of pressure on ourselves, beating ourselves up for any lack of progress and failing to recognize and acknowledge ourselves for what we have done.

We may become easily distracted by things that we know will be easier and potentially more enjoyable – tasks that don’t really need to get done right now (or at all), and things that may really be more appropriately delegated to others.  We can get sucked into unproductive activities, such as surfing the internet, engaging in idle conversation, taking several coffee breaks, or – my personal favorite – making more lists of all the things we need to do and identifying the steps we need to take in order to get them done.  This is actually a great practice when we are focused, but in a procrastination mode it can become relegated to planning to plan – and then plan some more – until we have a rock solid strategy that we never actually implement.

It may feel as though you are spinning your wheels  – running like heck,

but not getting a whole lot of traction.

I know this, of course, because I have experienced it myself.  Many times.  And I have worked with a lot of people who fall into this pattern as well to recognize what’s happening and shift into something that will get them back on a more productive track.

One of the most powerful things I have found to break out of a “spinning your wheels” cycle is to take a few moments to revisit your purpose – or the larger mission or goal you have which relates in some way to what you are doing.

• Get clear about what – or who – the work is for.
• How will it improve the quality of life for yourself or those around you?
• In what way will it help people, contribute to something greater, or allow you to achieve a meaningful goal for yourself?

You don’t have to take several hours to do this.  Just stop yourself for a few moments and ask, when this project/task/ initiative is finished, what bigger goal or purpose will it accomplish?  What would you like to accomplish?  Write it down.  Add to it as you think of additional bonuses.  Now, sit for a moment and see if you can envision what it would feel like to satisfy that larger purpose, vision or goal.  See if you can feel it so clearly that you are actually grateful for it.

This simple act will help you reconnect with something that will fuel you beyond the minutia.  It will give you the courage and strength to walk through your fear or hesitation to do something that you may not be all that good at yet.  And it will help you to get back to the joy that comes through the process  as well as the achievement of the end goal.

When you go about accomplishing things in this way, all that you do will become infused with a new energy – one that uplifts, delights and inspires.  Whatever you are experiencing as you work on something will be the same thing people will experience when they partake of the fruit of your efforts.  The more we keep this in mind on a daily basis, the more we will experience the satisfaction and gratification of having done something truly meaningful – something that lifts us out of the mundane and into a place of magnificence.  And everyone that comes into contact with our work will be better off because of it.

Copyright Synchronistics Coaching & Consulting 2010.  All rights reserved.

If you liked this post, you may enjoy other articles written about Boosting Creativity, Productivity & Effectiveness.  Download these and others for free at www.DianeBolden.com/solutions.  While you are there, you can subscribe to receive a new feature article each month.  You will also receive my free report on 10 Traps Leaders Unwittingly Create for Themselves – and How to Avoid Them.

Though comments are currently closed, please feel free to email me at Diane@DianeBolden.com with your feedback, questions and thoughts.  Have a specific challenge you’d like to see a post written about?  Let me know.  I’d love to hear from you!

Getting Connected ~ What Intuition and the Internet Have in Common

“Intuition will tell the thinking mind where to look next.”  ~ Jonas Salk

I have been marveling a lot lately over the power of the internet.  I feel so old when I explain to my kids that when I was in school, doing a research paper meant spending hours in a library pouring over books and periodicals to get the required information.  Now, all they need to complete their papers and projects is a computer that has internet access.  The idea that you can tap into a vast reservoir of data, selectively identify what you want to read about, and have it delivered to your screen in a matter of seconds is truly amazing.  And now, it’s so commonplace that most of us no longer really think all that much about it – we just expect it.

And then I began to realize that this process of connecting to something bigger is not unlike what we do when we move from using logical, analytical thought to a more intuitive knowing – going from our heads to our guts. When we are in our heads, we utilize the data that we can see, feel, touch, hear, and taste.  It’s a lot like being in a library or using a computer that is off line – we only have access to the data that is stored in the immediate vicinity – much of which can be irrelevant or outdated.  And we often have to do a lot of manual work to get it.  We spend a lot of time trying to figure stuff out and make things happen the way we think they should.  When they don’t, we tend to get frustrated, try harder to get everything to fit, and ultimately feel as though we just keep hitting walls.  The frustration can lead us to cut ourselves off even more from our intuition, which like the internet, has access to far greater things than what we might realize.

When we access our intuition, we hook up to knowledge that goes beyond what we can immediately see, feel, hear, touch or taste. We can access information that links us to others – which allows us to feel connected to them – to hear not only the words they are saying, but also what they are not saying but feeling.  We can access information that is in the realm of possibilities – about opportunities that are all around us and what we might need to do to leverage and act on them.  We can also access warnings about options that are not in our best interest or will lead us to experience something that is not aligned with where we most want to go.  When we are in our heads, we are inclined to resist or overlook these promptings because they are not “rational” or explainable.

I believe that  our connection to something greater than ourselves allows us to not only receive data, but also to send it – in much the same way we do a search on the internet. When we are in need of a given piece of data, we enter a search term and then receive a variety of links that give us more information about that subject.  Similarly, when we decide on an overarching intention, like wanting clarity, peace, or a mutually satisfying resolution to conflict or challenge, we send a signal to the vast field beyond our heads that gathers information and energy aligned with that intention and brings it into our awareness. We access a field of infinite creativity and wisdom from which some of the greatest inventions and ideas of our time originated.

For some people the information delivered via intuition is easily decoded, like words on a screen.  But for most of us, it is delivered in the form of an inkling, a feeling or a strong prompting to do one thing or another.  Or perhaps it might come in the form of a sign or object that takes on increased meaning – or an experience that in some way relays information, like seeing a movie or having a conversation with another person that is somehow related to our inquiry or intention. When we act on these promptings, things have a way of falling into place such that our intention comes to pass.

Unlike our computers, I believe we are always connected to this larger field, whether we want to be or not.  When we acknowledge and rely on this connection, keeping our thoughts focused on what we want most in life, we will experience a sense of flow, peace and deep satisfaction that comes from experiences we draw to ourselves that match those thoughts. When we fail to recognize the power of this connection, and allow our minds to become consumed with frustration, doubt, anxiety and fear, this same dynamic seems to draw to us additional data, experiences and challenges that match our state of mind – and we find ourselves mired deeper and deeper in frustration.

So the next time you catch yourself feeling anxious  or stressed about anything – frustrated over not being able to solve a problem, resolve a conflict, address an emerging issue or challenge – make a conscious decision to move from your head to your gut, and then balance the two.   Decide what you want to experience and let that be your guiding intention. Your gut intuition will allow you access to ideas and possibilities that are just outside the boundaries of your mind, and your head will help you process and act on that information in a way that brings you the results you desire.

Copyright Synchronistics Coaching & Consulting 2010.  All rights reserved.

If you liked this post, you may enjoy other articles written about Boosting Creativity, Productivity & Effectiveness. Download these and others for free at www.DianeBolden.com/solutions.  While you are there, you can subscribe to receive a new feature article each month.  You will also receive my free report on 10 Traps Leaders Unwittingly Create for Themselves – and How to Avoid Them.

Leader, Know Thyself

Feel like there’s got to be more to being a leader than running from meeting to meeting, repeatedly fixing the same problems, and beating your head against a wall trying to get people and things to change?

“You must be the change you wish to see in the world.” ~ Gandhi

We’ve all been to a lot of classes – whether on leadership or related subjects – where we sit passively and listen to someone teach us things from a workbook or a PowerPoint presentation. Some of these classes may have infused us with new ideas and inspirations, others may not have. Either way, the chief challenge is coming back to our daily work and implementing what we have learned. Class or no class, putting into practice the ideas and insights we get on a daily basis is a challenge. It is a challenge because it calls for us to integrate them into a way of doing things that we have established for ourselves over a long period of time.

In order to change, grow or improve in any way, we must consciously look at ourselves – at what is working and at what is not. Often we are so accustomed to running from project to project and meeting to meeting, that we aren’t even aware of the dynamics at play under the surface. This frenetic approach leads to a pattern of similar results, similar experiences, and inevitably similar frustrations, and often the feeling that there has to be more to it than this.

There is.

The truth is, you already possess within you the most significant core essentials you need in order to be successful. The question is, are you using them? And are you using them to the best of your ability? If the answer is no, it doesn’t matter how many new tools you acquire or methodologies you learn. Our chief challenge is not to continue looking to others for solutions and answers, but instead to take the time to tap that part of ourselves that remains our purest potential. The prerequisite for being an effective leader of others is to learn to lead ourselves.

This blog post is an excerpt from a longer article, titled “Leader, Know Thyself – Unearthing Your Best Work”.  Click here to read the full article, which includes practical steps for bringing out your best.  For more articles on Boosting Creativity, Productivity and Effectiveness, visit www.DianeBolden.com/solutions.  While you are there, you can subscribe to receive a new feature article each month.  You will also receive my free report on 10 Traps Leaders Unwittingly Create for Themselves – and How to Avoid Them.

Getting Out of Overwhelm

The last several weeks have been fraught with technical challenges that almost had me throwing my computer through the window or taking a sledgehammer to it. Fortunately, I was able to resist my destructive urges and instead come to a realization that led me to some vital insights about better leveraging my time without losing my head (and other things that are important to me). Recognizing I’m not the only one who faces productivity issues, I decided to write about what I learned in my May ezine.  Below is an excerpt of the full article, Getting Out of Overwhelm, with a link to read more.

If you would like to have these monthly articles emailed to you directly, you can subscribe at www.dianebolden.com  (and I’ll also send you my special report on 10 Traps Leaders Unwittingly Create for Themselves, and How to Avoid Them.)

Getting Out of Overwhelm

Do you ever feel as though there just aren’t enough hours in the day to get everything done?

Time is an interesting concept. On some days it seems to fly by and on others it drags. At times you might feel as though you have been muddling through something for hours with nothing to show for it, and at others you may find yourself experiencing a sudden burst of productivity and energy that allows you to do in a short amount of time what may have previously taken you several hours or even days. What is the differentiator? Wouldn’t it be great if there were some kind of lever you could pull inside yourself to get you into that productive zone?

Sometimes I just wish there were a lever to get me out of the zone that keeps me spinning from one thing to the next without making much progress on anything. Seems I’ve been in that place a lot lately. And curious by nature, I have done my best to pay attention to what I’ve been experiencing so that I can somehow make heads or tails of it. At times like these, often my surroundings have a way of reflecting back to me my own state. In this particular case, my computer was the perfect mirror.  Read more…

Copyright Synchronistics Coaching & Consulting 2010.  All rights reserved.