Harness the Power of Possibility in Your Work and Your Life

 

“All our dreams can come true, if we have the courage to pursue them.”

~ Walt Disney

Over the holidays, I had the delightful experience of traveling to Disneyland with family.

Every time I go there, it is like stepping into an alternate reality—one where the stresses and anxieties of the week before simply dissolve and the child in me emerges.

I am mesmerized by every intricate detail so carefully attended to by the multitude of people that make Disneyland what it is—from the enchanting castles and belly-dropping rides, to the perfectly manicured gardens and the warm smiles and tireless energy of every cast member.

And I can’t help but revel in a deliciously goose-bump-building thought.

All the wonder, delight and magic of this place—as well as everything that is associated with it (the movies, cartoons, storybooks and associated media)—ALL OF THIS began with a single thought in the mind of a man who took action to make it real.

I don’t know a lot about Walt Disney, but I imagine he was gripped by an idea—a dream that captured his heart and burst inside of him until he was compelled to gather the people and resources to make it happen.

This guy had a vision that couldn’t help but be embraced by others.

It spoke to their hearts and their spirits, and allowed them to be a part of something that does the same for everyone who encounters it. Disneyland is the “happiest place on earth” because it brings out the best in everyone who experiences it. It unleashes the magic each of us carries somewhere deep within us, and the most traditional of fairy tales are about that very subject. Even the performers on the various stages throughout the park sing refrains about looking within to find our heroes. What an amazing creation!

We all get inspirations from time to time. And the more we act on them the more we seem to receive them.

Ideas are a dime a dozen. When was the last time you got one that gave you goose bumps? And what did you do to take it to the next level of creation? Were you overwhelmed, thinking it was too big, or unrealistic to actually achieve? Perhaps it is too big for one person. But what if you were able to create a vision like Walt Disney did, that resonated in the very core of people who would gladly partner with you to make it real?

You have something inside of you that is waiting to be unleashed into the world.

The very act of doing it will rock your world, and that of others as well. Maybe it isn’t a multimillion dollar theme park, or a screenplay, or an organization. But whatever it is will carry the unique essence of you—who you are—and the compilation of everything each of your individual experiences has prepared you for. And if you bring it forward with the intention of making the world a better place, you will.

Who are you to deny that you are meant for greatness?

 The beginning of every new year brings with it questions of what we most want to create in our lives and our work. If you are interested in strategies for better connecting with your vision and taking steps to bring it to fruition in a way that feeds and fulfills you, stay tuned for more information on my upcoming online course and group intensive, The Real Leader’s Guide to Freedom and Flow, or click here to get on the waiting list and get first priority (with no obligation) at the limited spots that will soon be available.

How to Create Moments of Meaning (Even in the Midst of Mania)

 

“You ready for the holidays?”

It’s a question people often ask each other this time of year. I don’t know if I’m ever ready – from the standpoint of having all the boxes checked, anyway.

I know there are people out there – you may be one of them – who finished their holiday shopping weeks ago, had their houses beautifully decorated on or before Thanksgiving day, and seem to find the time to send handmade cards to everyone they know. I have secretly dreamt of being one of those people, and maybe someday I will be.

I tend to identify more with those still scurrying around at the last minute. You know, the ones dashing to the mall on Christmas eve for that one last present they forgot about and return home to feverishly wrap gifts before people come over – all the while swearing that next year will be different.

What I really long for is to simply enjoy every aspect of the holidays.

It is a season of giving, sharing, and celebrating something bigger than ourselves. It brings us together and transforms our everyday lives into something sacred.

And this opportunity is always available to us.

With every gift we buy or wrap, every card we send, or every decoration we hang, we have the ability to infuse it with presence – our ability to be truly engaged not only with whatever it is we are doing, but with the bigger reason of WHY we are doing it – even if we get a late start.

Perhaps the ideal is not in being able to do more things sooner, but to put more of ourselves into the things we are able to do now despite whatever circumstances we find ourselves in.

When people pour their hearts into whatever they are doing, you can feel it. 

The cards that arrive in our mailbox that have been perfunctorily generated don’t seem to move us as much as those people have taken the time to hand write something on – even if it is just our name. Likewise, the gifts that had some element of thought in them often end up meaning more to us than those someone spent a lot of money on. The true spirit of giving is more about the spirit than the gift itself.

And the spirit of giving and celebration doesn’t have to end in December.

We have the ability to enrich every moment of our lives with it. Albert Camus once said, “Real generosity toward the future lies in giving all to the present.” That means forgetting about all our preoccupations and busyness and being right here, right now – truly engaged in the purpose of whatever it is we are doing and deeply connected to whoever we are with.

In business and in life, this practice separates the most truly prosperous and successful people from all the rest. They have a knack for making others feel valued and for infusing meaning into whatever it is they do or invite others to do. They spend their time doing what is most important and pour their hearts and souls into it. As a result, they are living examples of whatever they believe most strongly in.

Perhaps this is the true art of giving, living, and leading – one that transcends holidays and spills over into our every day lives.

It’s never too late to start bringing more presence and engagement into your life amidst the frenzy of a crazy schedule and ongoing demands, despite the time of year. Stay tuned for more information on my upcoming online course and group intensive, The Real Leader’s Guide to Freedom and Flow, or click here to get on the waiting list and get first priority (with no obligation) at the limited spots that will soon be available.

Wishing you and yours a beautiful and blessed holiday!

 

Why Believing Is Seeing – Regardless Of Proof

 

One day when my kids were younger, they had a play date with some friends. I heard one of them telling the other that Santa Claus wasn’t real. My son, who was eight years old at the time, vehemently defended the jolly old man, with elaborate explanations of why something not easily proven was worth believing in anyway.

It reminded me of my own childhood.

I had to laugh, as I flashed back to one of my own experiences with a little girl in my neighborhood who made fun of me for believing that a fat man in a red coat actually came down my chimney every year. I was so mad that, when she wasn’t looking, I broke all her crayons and put them back in the box (and spent the rest of the holiday season worrying that I had just put myself on the naughty list).

I have since learned that it is okay if everyone doesn’t believe what I do.

And if he hasn’t already, my son will learn that too. But he is the one who taught me something that day. I was buoyed by his unwavering belief and faith in something he’s never really seen and inspired by his example.

I can’t help but believe that those who trust in something magical will experience that magic in ways the skeptics will not. And I think the same is true in life.

There will always be someone around to tell us what cannot be done.

And there will also always be people who, upon being so told, will do it anyway. Their faith, determination, and belief in something they have yet to see will allow them to persevere until their dreams become reality.

One of my favorite authors on personal and spiritual growth, Alan Cohen, once said “You do not need to get others to believe in your truth. You just need to live it.”

Trust, faith, and perseverance go a long way.

In a world where much is uncertain and the old success formulas no longer seem to work, I believe it is more important than ever to trust in what we know to be true in hearts, even if our minds cannot figure it all out. It may go against what we have been conditioned to believe, see, and do – but perhaps this makes it even more important.

To bust out of old paradigms that keep us from realizing our greatness, perhaps we need to stop questioning what is possible and start challenging our limits instead. As we do, we will begin to make manifest that which we previously only dreamed was possible and, through our example, show others the way to rise.

Believing what we want to see is especially important when creating our future. But it is only one component of a vital process I’ll be covering in my upcoming online course and group intensive, The Real Leader’s Guide to Freedom and Flow. Stay tuned for more information or click here to get on the waiting list and get first priority (with no obligation) at the limited spots that will soon be available.

 

Could You Be in the Presence of Greatness?

 

Who is your favorite performer?

Some of the most memorable performances I’ve had the opportunity to enjoy have been Springsteen concerts. The Boss. I’ve stood in the sold out stadiums before the show started along with thousands of other people waiting eagerly for the music – and the magic – to begin.

And Springsteen really does create magic. In a matter of minutes, he seems to effortlessly transform the entire building and everyone in it into a kind of portal that vibrates with possibility, energy, and spirit. Throughout the rest of the evening, he takes his audience right into the music with him and allows everyone to become a part of it.

I have never left a Springsteen concert feeling anything less than incredibly inspired and somehow renewed – as though some part of me I didn’t even know I had woke up while I was there and begged to be released into the world.

A Curious Thought…

The last time I saw Bruce in concert I was musing over the fact that he, like all of us, has at one time or another most likely ordered a hamburger at a fast food joint or stood in line at the grocery store. And I reveled over what it would be like to be standing there behind him – perhaps before he recognized his own inner genius and believed in it enough to write and record the music that would inspire others to give life to their own.

Would I Know That I Was Standing in the Presence of Greatness?

Could I somehow feel it? Or would I move through the rest of my day unaware of how close I’d come to magic? And then I began to wonder about the people I actually do stand in line behind in the grocery store these days. Who’s to say that one of them isn’t destined to touch the lives and transform the worlds of many as well with their own unique talents and passions?

Do You Know Greatness When You See It?

In December of 2007, the Washington Post persuaded Joshua Bell, one of the finest classical musicians in the world to be part of a social experiment. On a cold January morning, this internationally acclaimed virtuoso stood leaning against a wall next to a trash can in a Washington D.C. metro station with a baseball hat on his head playing some of the most intricate pieces ever written with a violin worth over $3 million dollars.

Over the course of the forty-five minutes that he played, a total of 1,097 people passed by this musician who only two days prior played a sold out theater in Boston’s Symphony Hall where the seats averaged $100. Only seven people stopped and stayed – most of them only for a minute or two. Twenty seven gave money, mostly change, for a total of $32 and some cents. He ended each piece with no applause, no acknowledgement of his performance – or even his existence.

If people could be in the presence of someone like Joshua Bell while he was performing without stopping to appreciate and savor it for even a moment, perhaps it is also feasible that we are in the presence of greatness every day in some way – without even knowing.

It could be in the person who serves you your morning coffee, the guy in the cubicle next to you, one of your own children.

Maybe it could even be the person who stares back at you in the mirror.

See it First Using Your Minds Eye

 

Do you recall a time in your life where you may have doubted yourself or ability to handle a situation?

Utilizing the imagination while formulating a plan or task can lead you to success.

Watch this video for tips on using your minds eye to envision success.

If you would like to learn more about building confidence, being authentic, and moving beyond old patterns that keep you from fully enjoying your life, check out my book, The Pinocchio Principle: Becoming a Real Leader, available at Amazon.com or BarnesandNoble.com.

 

Be the Light in the Darkness

 

Sometimes despite our best efforts, things go awry.  

Be the source that raises the level of energy of those around you. Utilize Desire, focus and courage to help yourself and others. 

Watch this video for tips on becoming the light in darkness for those around you.

If you would like to learn more about building confidence, being authentic, and moving beyond old patterns that keep you from fully enjoying your life, check out my book, The Pinocchio Principle: Becoming a Real Leader, available at Amazon.com or BarnesandNoble.com.

 

How to Embrace Your Brilliance (without becoming arrogant)

 

The lights are dimming and the crowd begins to hush.

Music blares from all corners of the dark, expansive room. A spotlight illuminates the stage and cuts a circle in the red velvet curtain that falls from the ceiling above. In front of that curtain are proud parents and antsy siblings squirming in their seats, eager to be entertained. And behind it are nervous school children with hearts pumping and nerves tingling.

Throughout their grade school years each of my kids have appeared in a variety of shows along with many of their friends and fellow students. They practiced for months. And I was one of a myriad of parents that toted children back and forth from rehearsal to rehearsal where the kids gradually perfected their acts and readied themselves for the spotlight. Finally their time would come.

As with every talent show, there were those who burst onto the stage with contagious energy and bright smiles, soaking up every ounce of the experience. And there were others who walked onto the platform and suddenly shrunk inside themselves, painfully aware that an entire auditorium of people were staring at them, watching and waiting expectantly.

I think every one of us has likely been in both categories at one time or another.

Maybe not in a talent show, or on any kind of stage at all. But in our own everyday lives. In the theatre of our work, in the arena of our interaction with others — colleagues, customers, bosses, friends and acquaintances. Sometimes we rise to the occasion and we are present, effusive, bright and shining with enthusiasm and warmth. And other times, perhaps we sink inside ourselves — intimidated, nervous, awkward and doubtful.

In the latter scenario, there is no judge more critical than the one that lives in our own heads. Allowing it to hijack our attention, we quietly exit the scene while our bodies remain, vacant and taking up space. We nod our heads and smile, hear what others say and even comment sometimes. But we are far more engaged in an internal dialogue that has us believing we are not good enough, that we must be a little more of this or less of that. It has us planning and evaluating what we will say in response to a person who hasn’t even finished speaking, their words eclipsed by the roar of preoccupation going on between our own ears.

This is a dismal state to be in.

In the midst of all the cruel self-judging, that part of us that is brilliant and loving, warm and engaging in whatever way is uniquely ours is dismissed. Or perhaps disallowed. How could we let it come forth while we banter about in our heads that we need to be anyone other than who we really are?

At the variety shows, I really don’t believe the audience would judge a poor kid standing speechless or stuttering at the edge of the stage — but rather would cheer him on, showering him with beams of encouragement and love, silently wishing for him to loosen up, forget about the audience and have a little fun and just be himself. And perhaps it is that way in our arenas as well.

When we withhold ourselves, we cheat others of knowing the brilliance of who we really are.

But before we cheat them of it, we cheat ourselves. Many of us are taught and conditioned to be humble and avoid the appearance of arrogance. But we confuse arrogance with self-love, which is actually a prerequisite to humility. True arrogance is the product of someone who has no self-love, and tries desperately to convince others he is superior and worthy of the very thing he denies himself of.

True humility occurs when we embrace our own greatness and love ourselves.

A healthy self-love keeps us from having to worry about how we are coming across or what others think of us, because we already know we have value. In embracing our own value and allowing our brilliance to shine, we light the way for others to do the same.

It is this brilliance that will transform our world. 

It brings with it the creativity and ingenuity to rise up to our challenges and allow us to do things we never thought we could. Far from being self-absorbed, sharing our brilliance in this way is the most generous and loving thing we could do for others.

But before we can do it for them, we must do it for ourselves.

So the next time you find yourself engaging in a vicious dialogue that has you believing you are anything less than who you are and keeps you from bursting onto the scene, recognize that for what it is — an old pattern that isn’t doing you or anyone else any favors. The less you feed that dialogue, the less “self absorbed” you are and the more generous you can be with your brilliance.

The audience begs you: come onto the stage, forget that you are being watched, have a little fun being who you really are — and show us all how to truly shine.

How to Stay Confident Around People Who Intimidate You

 

Most of us have people in our lives that for whatever reason lead us to temporarily lose access to our fully functioning brains.   You may find that in their presence, words suddenly escape you.  Or worse, they seem to pour out of you like diarrhea or projectile vomit, leaving you to feel even more uneasy.  Perhaps you unexpectedly develop a stutter.  Maybe you become unusually clumsy, or suddenly fixated on how large your nose (or some other part of your body) feels. These are the kind of things that happen when we are intimidated by someone.

People intimidate us for a number of reasons.

Intimidation can be triggered by someone with an explosive temper, or a person who tends to be critical of you.  It could come on when you are around someone you really want to be liked by.  And sometimes it happens when you are in the presence of people who seem to have all the things in life that you do not, from stunning physical attributes to lavish material possessions to prestigious job titles.  But there is one common denominator present when you find yourself intimidated by another person and believe it or not, it has very little to do with any of the previous factors I mentioned.

The root of all intimidation lies in what you are believing about yourself in any given moment.

It is easy to conclude that the problem exists somewhere out there.

You might think it’s the way someone looks at you, or responds (or doesn’t respond) to you.  And you might even believe – if so and so wasn’t in my life, I would be so much more confident and self assured.  But the problem isn’t other people – not even people who may intentionally be trying to tear you down a notch.  You may think their hurtful messages are to blame.

But the trouble isn’t hearing hurtful messages from others.

That wouldn’t explain why people are intimidated by those they envy or really want to be liked by – who may never actually say anything at all. The reason people intimidate us is that in their presence we are telling ourselves that we are simply not good enough, attractive enough, rich enough, powerful enough, articulate enough, smart enough, skinny enough, athletic enough – or ENOUGH altogether.

And worse, we are believing it.

When you believe you’re inadequate, you will cut yourself off from your brilliance.  Sometimes it’s just a little kink in the hose that still allows a small portion of your competence or grace or talent to come through.  And other times it’s just an all out blockage.  It’s not that all those wonderful things about you have gone away.  You just temporarily have trouble accessing them.  And then you may panic and find that things get even worse.

So how do you remove the blockage?

What can you do to avoid becoming intimidated and losing confidence?

Well, the interesting thing about intimidation is that the root of it is also the remedy.

When you find yourself going down Intimidation Street, you can stop and redirect yourself down a more positive path simply by becoming aware of and eventually changing your thoughts. I admit that this is much easier said than done. However, as with so many things in life, it gets better and better with practice.

Here are three ways to redirect your negative thoughts about yourself to something more positive:

 (1) Think of someone in your life in whose presence you feel really good about yourself.

Go ahead and try it right now. See if you can place yourself in that person’s presence and feel the way you do when you are together. You might find that you are sitting up straighter and holding your head higher just at the thought. Know that when you are with that person, you are the same you that you are when you are with people who intimidate you.

See if you can envision being in the presence of someone who intimidates you while you are feeling the way you feel when you are around someone you feel loved and admired by. Imagine how much easier it would be to interact with others while you are in this state. Practice this in your mind often.

The next time you are around someone who intimidates you, use the exact same process.

Treat every interaction as an opportunity to build this muscle for yourself. And before you know it, you will find that your behavior will become more consistently confident and self assured. You may also notice that the things that used to send you into a tailspin no longer really bother you.

(2) The next time you find yourself feeling intimidated, notice what you are believing.

Then ask yourself if it is really true. This may be difficult to do when you are standing in front of someone, so if it’s easier you can wait until the moment has passed. You may find when you reflect on the situation that you felt the way you did when you were a kid and realize that those feelings are no longer relevant.

You may be believing that there is something you need to do or be to win someone’s affection or approval when in reality you just need to relax and be yourself and let go of needing so much to be liked by others. You may be believing that the other person is thinking something negative about you that is purely conjecture you are poisoning your mind with.

When you notice and begin to challenge your assumptions, they lose their hold on you.

It’s kind of like being in a haunted house after the lights have been switched on. You can go back there when it’s dark again, but it’ll never scare you the way it might have before.

(3) See if you can shift your focus from what you think you need to what you can give.  

As I mentioned before, we get intimidated when we feel we are lacking in some way. And then we tend to act in ways that will allow us to get what we think we need to feel better. Often that comes in the form of someone’s approval or affection. Think of what kinds of things you think you need from others in order to feel more confident. Is it a smile? Is it a compliment? Is it someone paying attention to you? A little appreciation or support?

See if you can find a way to give to someone else that which you believe you need.

And do it in such a way that you are not expecting anything in return other than to be of service to another human being. In other words, don’t give to get. Give because it makes you feel good. When you do this, you will find yourself reconnected with the reserves that you are most in need of. Because when you give something – even if it is something you think you don’t have – you realize that by the very nature of giving it to others, you become an abundant supply.

“Those who bring sunshine to others cannot keep it from themselves.” – Anonymous

 If you would like to learn more about building confidence, being authentic, and moving beyond old patterns that keep you from fully enjoying your life, check out my book, The Pinocchio Principle: Becoming a Real Leader, available at Amazon.com or BarnesandNoble.com.

 

Image courtesy of Marcus74id at FreeDigitalPhotos.net.

How to Develop More Confidence

 

Every day offers us a new challenge and an opportunity to see what we are made of.

Some days more than others.  Think of all the resources you have at your disposal to rise up to these challenges.  You have your intellect, style, wit, humor, strength, resilience, patience.  You have friends and colleagues, family members, and other special people in your life.  You have your possessions, your resources, your health, your savings, your home.

When you get down to the bottom of things, one of your most valuable resources – which allows you to enrich every other aspect of your life, is the way in which you view yourself and what you believe you are capable of.  This one thing plays a monumental role in determining your fate, because it drives your actions and responses to everything that happens to you.

This quality is confidence.

You know it when you see it, don’t you?  A confident person walks into a room and doesn’t have to say a thing.  They wear their faith in themselves and their abilities like comfortable clothing.  They do not need to be arrogant or assuming.  They are at ease in their own bodies.

What exactly is confidence?  And how do you get it?

Some would say confidence is being able to show others that you know what you are doing, that you have what it takes to succeed, that you are in control.  Others speak of confidence from the standpoint of having courage to do things that require a high degree of skill, knowledge, strength, coordination, or that may entail some degree of risk.  Still others would say confidence is the ability to inspire trust in others.  Merriam Webster defines confidence as “a feeling or consciousness of one’s powers or of reliance on one’s circumstances” and “faith or belief that one will act in a right, proper or effective way.”

Confidence is something that must come from the inside out.

What do I mean by that?  Every day we face challenges and opportunities that allow us to exercise confidence.  We can do things today that we were unable to do last year, or maybe even last week.  When we get to a point where we no longer question our abilities and simply execute the task at hand in a manner that is fitting to the situation, one could say we are acting with confidence.

Exercising confidence does not require that anyone else believe we know what we are doing, or even that they witness us doing anything at all.  It requires us to do what must be done at any given time, utilizing the resources at our disposal and calling on our own strengths, ingenuity, and discernment to do it.

 It is easy, however, to fall into the trap of trying to gain confidence from the outside in.

We often go about our tasks with an eye on the perceptions of others and allow their reactions to determine our confidence level.  A positive response increases our confidence, and a negative one decreases it.  When we repeatedly engage in behavior like this, we will subjugate our ability to perform and stunt our inherent talent by interrupting its natural flow.

Imagine yourself standing in a room trying to balance on one foot while holding the other in your hand and looking up at the ceiling.  Now add about fifteen to twenty people to the room who are trying to do the same thing.   If you worry about whether you look good and imagine that everyone is staring at you, you will lose your balance (and your confidence).  If, however, you center yourself and focus on the task at hand, you will find your core strength and a sense of calm, and you will achieve your goal.  It may take awhile, but you will get there.

“It is very easy in the world to live by the opinion of the world. It is very easy in solitude to be self-centered.  But the finished man is he who in the midst of the crowd keeps with perfect sweetness the independence of solitude.”

~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

This phenomenon becomes more complex when we assign value to others’ perceptions.

The opinion of someone we highly regard may weigh more heavily than someone we don’t.  And strangely, getting validation from someone who doesn’t seem to think well of us can have more significance than hearing praise from people who are our biggest fans.  Why?  I think we tend to focus our attention on that which mirrors our own thinking.  Criticism stings the most when it amplifies our own self doubt.   And when we find ourselves craving acknowledgement from others, it is likely because we are withholding it from ourselves.

As we go about trying to win approval, we allow others to define our sense of self.

And as a result, we grow ever more unaware of the treasure that sits in our own back yards.  We leave our true fortunes to seek things that glitter and fade.  The harder we try to win the confidence and validation of others, the further we will get from achieving it and the more deeply buried our inherent riches become.

Rather than acknowledging evidence that is all around us which confirms that we are competent, creative, talented, worthy and capable of achieving great things, we waste our energy focusing on what we believe is lacking.  As a result, we pay attention to data that validates our feelings of inadequacy, which leads us to act in ways that sub optimize our potential.  This further erodes our confidence and we risk locking ourselves in vicious cycles of deteriorating performance and eroding self assurance.

Confidence is an inside job because we cannot expect others to believe in us if we do not believe in ourselves.

To be truly free, we must become independent of the opinion of others.

This does not mean we stop seeking feedback or valuing input and suggestions.  It simply requires that we learn to become unattached to others’ approval and instead draw upon our own inner reserves. When we stop seeking validation, we find our centers again and learn from our own experiences and inner wisdom.

Practice and simple adjustments allow us to find our zone, listen to our intuition and slowly perfect our game.  Becoming quietly confident, we lose the need to prove that we are right, defend our honor or value, and impress others.  We simply do what is ours to do in any given moment and judge our success on the merits of the work itself.

When we truly go within to discover and unearth our own value, a funny thing happens. 

Over time, we will come to be surrounded by people who mirror our own positive assessment of ourselves.  Criticism may still come, but it will no longer have the sting it once did.  Void of the emotional charge, we can take feedback for what it is – data that helps us to see something we may have missed, so that we can make a course correction if necessary.

No longer basing our value of ourselves on what others think of us, we can refocus the energy we spent seeking validation into helping others recognize their own value.  In modeling this behavior, our increased confidence in ourselves engenders confidence both in and from others, and we can truly lead.

When we have confidence in ourselves, we regain a sense of power and faith.

No matter what happens in the uncertain world around us, we know we have what it takes to rise above our challenges and turn them into opportunities.   We act in ways that show others they too have the ability to shape the world around them by starting with themselves.

“As soon as you trust yourself, you will know how to live.”

~ Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

This article contains excerpts from my book  The Pinocchio Principle: Becoming a Real Leader now available in both ebook and paperback formats on Amazon.

Yoga image courtesy of arztsamui / FreeDigitalPhotos.net.

A Question Worth Considering

We stepped out into the crisp January air, her small, sweet  hand wrapped in mine.  She smiled with her whole body as we began our walk to the park.  Each of my steps was two or three for her.  We paused often to smell flowers and watch bugs zig zag across the sidewalk.  The sun’s rays danced on the leaves of the elm trees above us and filtered softly onto our shoulders.  The birds showered us with song.

It was a brand new day.  A brand new year, for that matter.  And we were seizing it.

My morning with my three year old niece was a liberating one.  It took us twenty glorious minutes to make our way a few hundred yards from the house my husband grew up in to the old elementary school grounds down the street.  When we got there, Lucy stretched her arms out like wings and ran joyfully across the playground as the wind playfully tossed her wavy blond locks and almost seemed to lift her off the ground.  She was freedom personified.  Sheer joy.  Exuberance.

And I thought, this is what I want more of in my life.

Maybe it was the week of vacation that preceded our little walk that allowed me to forget about all the thoughts that had furiously competed for my attention before we left for our trip.  Perhaps it was being a few hundred miles away from home and all the things that needed to be done – tasks yet to be finished and those yet to come.  Or maybe it was the sheer inspiration of my beautiful little companion that allowed me to be fully and completely present, immersing myself in each moment and allowing it to unfold without any interference on my part.  I felt alive.  Vibrant.  Happy.

We tottered on balance beams, skipped across hopscotch squares, and visited a coop of chickens, watching them peck at the ground and contemplating what each bird’s name should be.  But the highlight of our little jaunt was the tall, spiraling slide that crowned the jungle gym.  Lucy had decided she wanted to ride down on my lap.  We got half way up and stopped.  She looked up to our destination, and then down from where we had started and said, “That’s high.”

“Yes, it is sweetie,” I replied.  “We don’t have to go up there if you don’t want to.”

She looked at me for a moment and then wrinkled her brow with determination and resolve.  “I want to slide!”

“OK then.  Here we go…”  We climbed the last couple of steps and squatted onto the platform. Lucy sat tall on my lap, brimming with courage and delight.  “One, two, three!”  As we let go and spiraled down the slide, the squeal of her laughter brought a wild and uninhibited smile to my face.

And I thought again, this is what I need more of in my life.  Maybe this is what we all need more of in our lives.

I know.  It’s easy for a three year old to experience sheer joy and bliss at the very prospect of being alive.  They have no responsibilities, no bills to pay, no people depending on them.  They have yet to experience heartbreak, disappointment, and disillusionment.  And let’s face it – our adult lives are a lot more complicated than a day at the park playing hopscotch and watching bugs and chickens.  I still can’t help but think about it.

Now, back at my desk, staring at my Outlook calendar, I can still feel  the childlike wonder and euphoria of that day.  It begs the question, how can I bring more of that to my life?  To my work?  To the world?

This question has begun to deepen and grow roots.  It has taken on a life of its own.  It peeks out from my computer screen and beckons to me.  It lands softly in my mind as I drive to and from appointments.  It jumps out of file folders and onto my desk.  It takes a seat at the table when I meet with my clients.  And it brings with it more questions…

What if we could somehow strip our daily activities of the assumptions and heaviness they have accumulated over the years and approach things with the same sense of curiosity and delight that little Lucy did on that beautiful January morning?

Could we rediscover and ignite our passion for living in all the many areas of our lives – including the countless hours we spend at work?

Could we find a way to mute the thoughts that keep us from being totally present with people in our lives so that we could really be with them?

Could we let go of our preconceived ideas of how things are supposed to be and allow them to unfold the way they need to, trusting that we will summon whatever resources are necessary to deal with things as they come?

Could we respond to situations that push us out of our comfort zones with the fortitude and tenacity that Lucy displayed on the towering spiral slide?

Imagine what life would be like if we did…  How much more joy we would experience.  How creative we could be.  How courageous and resilient.  How our relationships would deepen and grow.  How meaningful our work would become.

I, for one, think it’s a question worth considering.  And just maybe, the very attention we put on the question will begin to illuminate the answers we need most.

I’d love to hear your thoughts.

For more on reconnecting with your childlike sense of wonder and joy, check out my book  The Pinocchio Principle: Becoming a Real Leader now available in both ebook and paperback formats on Amazon.

Photo courtesy of Jens Schott Knudsen.