3 Fundamental Truths to Help You Become What You Most Admire

When Halloween rolls around, it invites the question: if you could be anything for one evening, what would it be?

The tradition invokes a feeling of fantasy. Whether your answer is a super hero or a villain or something in between, the very act of asking the question and imagining a response reminds us that we have the ability, even if for a simple costume party, to explore aspects of ourselves that want to be expressed.

And the invitation to step into a new way of experiencing the world (or projecting what the world experiences of us) doesn’t have to wait for Halloween or stop when it’s over.

Have you ever secretly dreamed of becoming something different than what you are right now? Maybe you’d like to be more of a strategic player, become more visible, make a bigger impact, or lead more people. Perhaps you have visions of learning a new skill, working in a different industry, or serving a different customer base. Or maybe you’d simply like to step into a new way of living and leading – one that allows you to be more confident, calm, and engaging, or less stressed, pressured and anxious.

Regardless of the change you seek, you would not have the desire if you didn’t also have the capability to achieve it. As Napolean Hill once told us, “Whatever you can conceive and believe, you can achieve.” Moving from thought to reality requires that we embrace three simple, yet powerful truths:

• You don’t have to be born with an innate talent to do something in order to learn it,
• You don’t have to eliminate anxiety and doubt in order to perform well, and
• You don’t have to sacrifice who you truly are in order to become who you want to be.

Let’s dig a little deeper into each of these.

You don’t have to be born with an innate talent in order to learn it.

On its face, this statement seems fairly obvious. After all, none of us knew how to walk or talk when we were babies. Many of the things you know how to do today were things you had no idea how to approach at some point in your past. While it is true that some of the things you learned over the course of your life came more easily to you than others, with practice and persistence you were able to increase your proficiency and improve your desired results.

You may think you don’t have the aptitude to learn or become certain things. But the problem may be more in what you are believing than anything. In her ground-breaking book Mindset: The New Psychology of Success, Carol Dweck discusses two different approaches to learning a new skill. Some people operate from a “fixed mindset”, considering talent to be an inborn trait for some (but not others). Others operate with a “growth mindset” which allows for the possibility of learning something that doesn’t come naturally to them. Her research shows that those in the latter group consistently outperform those in the former.

The fundamental difference comes in how those mindsets impact your behavior. With a fixed mindset, you’ll dread failure because you believe it is a reflection of your innate abilities. However, with a growth mindset you’ll be more likely to see things not going well at first as an opportunity to learn and grow in ways that improve your performance. A fixed mindset will lead you to quit before you even start, while a growth mindset will impel you to continue to practice, learn and improve.

The words of Henry Ford come to mind, whether you think you can or you think you can’t, you’re right.

But that doesn’t mean it will come easily, which leads to the next fundamental truth we must embrace.

You don’t have to eliminate anxiety and doubt in order to perform well.

Chances are that whatever you aspire to become is something that is beyond your current zone of comfort. If it wasn’t, you’d already be doing it. As I wrote in The Pinocchio Principle: Becoming a Real Leader, anytime you endeavor to make a change in your life, you will be met with resistance. Whether that resistance takes the form of anxiety or doubt or plain old yellow-bellied fear, no amount of careful learning and preparation will completely alleviate it.

Many of us (myself included) have spent years attempting to hone and refine our skill from a mental level before ever attempting to execute. The irony is the that most impactful and effective way to learn is often to simply do. In doing, we discover what works and what doesn’t and gain an intuitive feel for what we need to adapt to achieve the success we desire. Through trial and error our skill and effectiveness grow.

But the anxiety and the doubt and that little voice in your head that incessantly rattles on in ways that lead you to question your ability and your nerve will continue. If you can see those feelings as signs of progress that you are stepping up your game, you can perform in spite of them – and maybe even begin to appreciate them.

You can also learn to recognize that little nagging voice for what it is: a product of your thoughts and nothing more. As you stop giving it so much of your energy and attention, you may find that you can coexist with it in the same way you tolerate any other irritating but seemingly harmless disturbances, like a rattle in your car or an annoying commercial on the radio.

Sometimes that little voice will ask, “who do you think you are?” which leads us to the third fundamental truth we must embrace to move from desire to reality.

You don’t have to sacrifice who you truly are in order to become who you want to be.

The idea of dressing up implies that we are putting on a mask that eclipses our true identify. But often the things we desire to explore are actually innate parts of ourselves that are ready to emerge. We are drawn to people who exemplify the qualities we want to emulate. Sometimes we are even envious of them.

It is important to honor our own evolution by giving credence to our desire to grow and change and allowing those desires to guide us. They key to being authentic and true to ourselves is to listen to the beat of our own drummer rather than allowing the sheer force of our accumulated patterns, habits and the expectations of others determine our identity. Often the way we have behaved or expressed ourselves over the course of our lives is more a product of what we’ve always done than who we truly are.

So when the idea of trying something new, or exploring a different way of showing up in the world is appealing to you, indulge yourself and see what happens. Finding your own authentic expression is a matter of fine tuning. Try something and see how it feels. You can start by emulating what someone else has done. And then add your own twist. Let go of or tweak what doesn’t work and do more of what feels good to you.

This is what the most impactful of leaders have done throughout the course of history. They start by leading themselves – listening and indulging the desires of their hearts, believing in their ability to grow, evolve and achieve, and finding their own unique expression. And in so doing, they serve as leaders to the rest of us.

So don’t let the fantasy and fun of Halloween stop when October ends. Ask yourself what you’d most like to become and don’t be afraid to see where it takes you. In the words of George Eliot, “It is never too late to be what you could have been.”

If you are interested in more strategies for getting clarity on what you would most like to accomplish, create or become, as well as steps to help you close the gap between desire and reality, download my special report, Why Real Leaders Don’t Set Goals (and what they do instead).

Let purpose reignite your progress

 

Have you ever had a really hard time getting something done? Something big?

When you’re up against a large task or project, it’s easy to become overwhelmed by the details and magnitude of what is before you. And when the project you’re working on requires you to do something new and uncomfortable, it often elicits fear, frustration, and anxiety.

In what is often an unconscious attempt to regain control, we are easily lulled into doing things that we know will be easier and potentially more enjoyable.

Some tasks don’t really need to get done right now (or ever) or should really be delegated to others, but we often prefer those. And then there are the popular time-wasters: surfing the web, making idle conversation, cleaning out your inbox, or my personal favorite – making more lists of everything you think must get done and identifying all the steps you need to take.

That is actually a great thing to do when you’re focused, but in procrastination mode, it becomes planning to plan (and then plan some more) until you have a rock-solid strategy that you never actually execute.

It may feel like you are spinning your wheels – running faster than ever but not getting anywhere.

To break out of that crazy cycle, take some time to revisit your purpose or the larger mission or goal behind what you are doing.

• Get clear about what (or who) the work is for.
• Identify how it will improve the quality of life for yourself or those around you.
• Reflect on the degree to which it will contribute to something greater or allow you to achieve a meaningful goal.

Write it down.

Add to it as you think of additional bonuses. Then, sit for a moment and see if you can envision what it would feel like to satisfy that larger purpose, vision, or goal. See if you can feel it so clearly that you are actually grateful for it.

This simple act will help you reconnect with something inside you that will propel you beyond the minutia. It will give you the courage and strength to walk through your fear or resistance to do something you may not be so good at yet. And it will help you to get back to the joy that comes through the process as well as the attainment of the end goal.

When you approach things this way, all you do will be instilled with a new energy – one that uplifts, delights, and inspires.

Whatever you experience as you work on a project will be what people feel when they partake of the fruit of your efforts. The more you remember this, the more you’ll experience the satisfaction and gratification of having done something truly meaningful that lifts you out of the humdrum and into a place of brilliance.

And all who encounter your work will be better off because of it.

 

How to leverage the fall season to supercharge your success.

Did you know this is officially the first full week of fall? We can take our cues from nature and use this season to supercharge our success. The fall equinox marks the transition between the bright and dark halves of the year – and it brings with it opportunities that are easy to overlook in the hustle and bustle of our daily lives.

It’s a time of letting go and preparing for regeneration. Animals start to hibernate. The leaves fall from the trees – but also, did you know that the energy of plants actually moves from creating and growing new leaves and flowers to developing a really strong root system that’ll help it survive through the winter?

That process also allows perennials to burst forth in spring with vigorous growth and a profusion of flowers. And we can do the same… slowing down long enough to just catch up with ourselves and connect the dots.

I don’t necessarily think we need to hibernate. But taking the time to reflect on where you’ve been, where you’re going, what’s most important to you, and how you can take good care of yourself can be incredibly regenerative.

Here are four questions that can help you supercharge your success this season.

1) What is it that you’ve already accomplished over the year so far that you’re proud of, that you can celebrate? And what is it that’s calling to you in the future? What’s most important to you? What is it that you really want to focus your time and energy on?

2) What are two or three things you’ve learned this year? Maybe it’s a skill you’ve picked up or  an insight as to what’s been getting in your way and how you might overcome that. Perhaps it’s something you’ve learned about yourself or even life.

3) How can you take care of your own root system? What can you do to strengthen and prepare yourself to move forward with greater boldness, ease, and momentum and get where you really want to go in the coming months – and perhaps, even the year ahead?

4) And finally, what is it that you can let go of? What has run its course and is no longer serving you? Maybe it’s a habit or a pattern, or something that you’ve done for a long time that just really isn’t working for you.

Here’s to fall – to all the things that you’ve accomplished and have yet to accomplish; to taking the time to tend to your own root system; and to honoring the passage of seasons within your own work and your life to supercharge your success this season!

Diane

Make the most of your mishaps

 

We all experience our share of mishaps. But with patience and ingenuity, you can turn those setbacks into springboards. This video provides 3 examples of how it’s done. It marks the last day in the countdown to the kickoff of The Pinocchio Principle Unleashed Fast Track launching on 9/20.It’s an excerpt from one of the video lessons in the program.

If you’re thinking about attending, it’s not too late to register. Get more information and save your seat at UnleashtheExtraordinary.com. For alumni or group enrollment, email us at Support@DianeBolden.com.

See how easily you can get unstuck

 

Do you ever feel like you’re at the mercy of your environment?

Imagine a racehorse getting ready for the starting gun, blood pumping, adrenaline rushing, eager to stretch itself beyond the confines of its compartment…

But the gun never goes off. The gate never opens. And the horse is trapped.

Imagine the animal bucking and kicking and expending a tremendous amount of energy railing at its constraints, until finally it foregoes its desire to run and resigns itself to the small, constricted space.

Many executives I’ve worked with over the years have felt like that racehorse in their organizations and their careers.

Maybe you can relate?

Perhaps, like so many…

 …you’re frustrated about how things are going in your organization or feel like work is becoming a grind, but question whether there’s really anything you can do about it and even wonder if you should look for another job.

…you long for more in your career but aren’t sure what it is you really want or how to find it.

…you have a vision or dream of doing something amazing but wonder if you can really pull it off or whether your ideas will be well received.

…you want to play a bigger game but are hesitant because of a recent setback, challenge or disappointment.

…you’d like to infuse new energy in your organization but are discouraged because previous efforts to create an engaged, inspired workplace have fallen flat.

If you can relate to any of the above statements, I have good news for you.

Unlike the racehorse confined to its compartment, you can open your own gate and free yourself from the constraints that keep you feeling trapped.

 And best of all, it doesn’t require anything radical.

You may not have to quit your job, transfer departments, move to Canada, or fire your whole team.

In fact, many executives who do things like that find it’s only a matter of time before they are right back in the scenarios they’ve left — only surrounded by different faces with different names.

The truth is, freeing yourself starts from the inside out, not the outside in. Because even though it seems our biggest constraints are “out there”, most of our biggest obstacles are self-imposed.

Don’t get me wrong – I’m not saying organizational constraints aren’t limiting. It’s just that until you address your own impediments, you’ll likely never see the way to rise above all the other ones.

Over the last 25 years I’ve worked with hundreds of executives to recognize and open the gates that have kept them from the freedom, fulfillment and success they crave. Today marks Day 3 in the countdown to the launch of The Pinocchio Principle Unleashed Fast Track kicking off on Friday 9/20, a 7-week leadership development program that can help you do the same.

 The Pinocchio Principle Unleashed will help you…

 …move beyond the frustrations and irritations that bring you down and breathe new life into your work, allowing you to see and act on possibilities you never realized were there.

…gain clarity into what you most want in your career and what you can do from where you are to make a bigger impact doing meaningful work you are passionate about.

…access a new level of confidence in yourself and your abilities that will help you navigate a course and unleash the level of performance necessary to bring your most precious dreams and visions to life.

…learn to leverage your experiences (including those you’d rather forget) to gain valuable insight on the best way to get where you most want to go.

And having experienced a resurgence of your own engagement, you’ll naturally lead others to reignite their enthusiasm and effectiveness in ways that previous organizational initiatives couldn’t.

Find out more and save your seat at UnleashtheExtraordinary.com. Respond directly to this email with with questions – or for group or alumni enrollment.

I’d love to help you move beyond your perceived limitations to reach a whole new level of success that is truly meaningful to you. Don’t wait another minute to free yourself from the illusion of being trapped by your circumstances. Save your seat today!

Here’s to your success!

Diane

Is this you?

 

High achieving executives, particularly those with a heart for service and contribution, are prone to a very common pitfall…

And it keeps them from doing some of the very things they most pride themselves on.

Take a look at this short video and see if you can relate.

If it strikes a chord and you’d like some assistance avoiding (or recovering from) a similar fate, consider joining me next Friday, September 20 for the kickoff of The Pinocchio Principle Unleashed Fast Track. You’ll have lifetime access to seven modules of practical tips, tools and approaches to help you overcome stress, pressure and overwhelm and lead from a Genius mindset.

And each Friday for the next seven weeks we’ll meet via Zoom for additional training, support and live coaching.

Here’s what one participant had to say about her experience in the Pinocchio Principle Unleashed program:

Diane helped me uncover the thoughts I didn’t realize Iwas having and the things I was holding onto that were getting in the way – answering the question for me about why I couldn’t execute. I was able to let go of a lot of self-blame and really be in the present moment, deliberate about how I want to show up. I feel more intentional and more empowered in my work and my life. And I’m committed to being more thoughtful about creating my schedule and not allowing things to overwhelm me.

 Your greatest gift that you‘ll get if you’ll invest this time is that you’ll reconnect with yourself and find the answers you need – open up your mind and your heart, which is something you can’t do when you’re going a 100 miles an hour. The whole experience was very authentic. Diane is truly invested and engaged in creating something better for the people she works with.

       – Connie Phillips- President and CEO, Lutheran Social Services of the Southwest

Get more information and save your seat at UnleashtheExtraordinary.com.

Let me tell you why…

 

It’s Day 10 in the countdown to the kickoff of The Pinocchio Principle Unleashed Fast Track launching on September 20. It’s a program I’ve taught in some form since 2017.  I’m incredibly passionate about it and thrilled to bring you the Fast Track version. Today, in this short video, I want to share WHY…

Simon Sinek tells us “Happiness comes from what we do. Fulfillment comes from why we do it.”

The fulfillment this program has led others to experience in their work and their lives allows me to find fulfillment in mine as well. Come join me!

The Pinocchio Principle Unleashed Fast Track is a 7-week leadership development program, designed to help high-achieving (and often overextended) executives break out of limiting habits and patterns and lead from a Genius mindset.

It’s a compilation of approaches, techniques and tools that my most successful executive coaching clients have utilized over the years. Through a combination of video and live training and coaching, you’ll learn to rise above stress and pressure and take your performance to the next level – while enjoying your life more both on and off the job.

Get more information and save your seat at UnleashtheExtraordinary.com. Enroll with a friend or colleague and you’ll both save $500. Email us at Support@DianeBolden.com for group or alumni registration.

Here’s to finding your fulfillment!

Diane

P.S.    Have you already been through The Pinocchio Principle Unleashed program? Alumni are eligible to re-enroll at a special rate.

Master Your Mindset and Achieve Your Grandest Visions

 

Imagine that you’ve stepped into your car, turned the key, and shifted into drive. You’ve got your destination in mind, have charted a course to get there and are eager to be on your way. But when you step on the gas, your car only goes a fraction of the speed you were anticipating. Frustrated, you push harder. Your engine revs, but the car doesn’t go any faster.

And then you realize you forgot to take off the parking brake.

Trying to achieve your desired state without getting into the right mindset is a lot like driving with the parking brake on. No matter how grand your vision or bulletproof your plan, it’ll impede your progress and lead to frustration.

What is mindset and why is it important to achieving a desired state?

Mindset is simply the established set of attitudes you hold toward any given thing. It’s a product of what you are believing about yourself and others, what you (or they) are capable of, and what is or isn’t possible, among other things.

Your mindset is important because it determines what you see and consider to be real. And it determines how you’ll behave as a result.

Studies show that our brains process a small percentage of the data we take in.

To make sense of what is happening around us, we focus on what we believe to be true and screen everything else out. So, if you have a belief that something isn’t possible, you’ll give far greater attention and weight to data that suggests it cannot be done than you’ll give to information, encouragement or even proof that suggests it can.

And what you will experience is a self-fulfilling prophecy of sorts. As Henry Ford once said, “Whether you think you can or think you can’t, you’re right.”

So, it’s important to be aware of what you’re believing about the things you endeavor to create, achieve, or become – as well as what you’re believing about yourself and your ability to succeed.

Often our doubts and misgivings are the product of messages we’ve internalized without ever really examining them. When you become aware of a limiting belief and the impact it’s having on what you most want, it begins to lose its power.

And often, when you take the time to examine those beliefs you’ll realize they just aren’t true.

With practice, you can interrupt old, worn-out thoughts that aren’t aligned with your desired outcome or behavior and substitute them for new thoughts that are.

And ultimately, you’ll learn to shift over to a new way of thinking, which will propel you into a new way of acting — one that will help you get where you most want to go.

 If you’d like some support mastering your mindset, consider joining me for my 7 week leadership development program kicking off on September 20. The Pinocchio Principle Unleashed Fast Track will allow you to break out of limiting habits and patterns and lead from a genius mindset.

It’s a compilation of approaches, techniques and tools that my most successful executive coaching clients have utilized over the years. You’ll learn to rise above stress and pressure and take your performance to the next level while enjoying your life more both on and off the job.

Reserve your seat at UnleashtheExtraordinary.com. Enroll with a friend or send a group of people from your organization and save $500 per person.

Here’s to your success!

Diane

P.S. Have you already been through the Pinocchio Principle Unleashed program? Alumni are eligible to re-enroll at a special rate of 80% off registration. And if you register with a guest, they’ll get $500 off the cost of their enrollment.

Email  Support@DianeBolden.com for group or alumni enrollment.

Is the way you’re working not really working for you?

 

 

I’ve been talking with a lot of people who feel like the way they’ve been working over the last several years just isn’t working for them anymore.  Can you relate?

Some had become accustomed to seventy and eighty-hour work weeks.  They were used to pushing through exhaustion, getting to the end of the day with nothing left in the tank, and starting the next one with very little sleep.  Their family life suffered, as well as their own sanity.

Work they once enjoyed had begun to suck the life out of them.

Covid brought things to a head for a lot of us.  We were reminded of our own mortality – of the preciousness of life, and our desire to live it fully.  It seeded a desire to seek greater freedom and fulfillment in our work and our lives and to create necessary change.

But for many (maybe even you?), there is still a compulsion to push harder even though you’ve reached a point of diminishing returns. Perhaps you’ve slipped off your groove and seem to be spinning your wheels, going faster than ever but not really getting anywhere – except more stuck.

If this is true for you, it’s not your fault.  We have been conditioned to believe the harder we work and the busier we are, the more successful we’ll be… and that slowing down to take care of ourselves is a sign of weakness.

Old habits, patterns and beliefs die hard.  But they can be replaced with better ones.

I invite you to participate in a think tank that is eager to find a better way, to unlearn old self-defeating habits and patterns and replace them with new ones, and in so doing unleash genius in yourself and others.

You can find out more about this groundbreaking 7-week leadership development program kicking off on September 20 at UnleashtheExtraordinary.com.

Here’s what a previous participant had to say:

“I’ve really benefitted from the tools and approaches taught in The Pinocchio Principle Unleashed program and often found I was able to immediately apply a concept or tool covered in a lesson or a group meeting to something unfolding at work.  I’ve kept myself from falling into traps that used to keep me overextended and replaced old unconscious ways of working with better communication, prioritization, delegation and daily routines.

Integrating what I’ve learned in the program has also helped me stay positive and not get pulled down by things around me – and as a result have a beneficial impact on others as well. I’m living my life much more consciously and intentionally both at work and home and feeling so much happier, even as lines between work and family are becoming increasingly blurred.

I’m thrilled that people in my team have also gone through the program and will continue to do so, because I believe it’s helped us restructure and reinvigorate the way we do business to maximize our strengths and better serve our customers.”

Julie Patrick, Senior Account Executive, Employer Advocates

Feeling constrained at work (and life)?

 

If you’ve ever felt like you’re at the mercy of your environment, you may be craving more freedom in your work (and your life). Do you ever…

…feel encumbered by everything on your plate and worry that if you slow down for a minute everything could come crashing down?

…experience pressure to achieve stellar success and believe you’re only as good as your last accomplishment?

…get preoccupied with what people – your boss, peers, subordinates, even your customers think of you and exert a lot of energy trying to manage their perceptions?

…feel constrained by corporate politics and compelled to say and do things to keep yourself safe, while holding back on sharing what you really think (or who you really are)?

Most of us occasionally think and act in ways that keep us feeling trapped because it may seem doing so leads to success (or prevents “failure”). But despite your best efforts, that automatic reaction will keep you from what you most want – and eventually suck the life out of you.

There is a wiser, stronger part of you that’ll show you a better way. It’s present and playful, creative and courageous, and capable of achieving extraordinary things.

We’re conditioned to keep this version of ourselves at bay, though it offers our truest source of sustainable fuel. We often don’t even realize what great lengths we go to hold ourselves down.

What would it look like if you let more of this side yourself come out at work?

Imagine a reality where you…

… are less preoccupied and more present, have clarity to efficiently and effectively get the most important things done, and access innovative solutions that would otherwise elude you.

…are buoyed by energy, enthusiasm and confidence rather than overcome with fear and doubt.

…worry less about what people think of you and enjoy stronger, deeper connections with people who are important to you, allowing you to have greater influence and stronger relationships.

…bring more of who you really are to what you do, allowing your organization and everyone around you to benefit from your unique perspective, talents and wisdom – and through your example unleash the talent and passion of people around you.

That is a state of freedom and flow. And it’s entirely within your reach. The first step is simply to envision what that would feel and look like in your life and open yourself to the possibility of achieving it.

If you’d like some support accessing and sustaining that way of working and living, consider joining me in my upcoming program kicking off on September 20.

The Pinocchio Principle Unleashed Fast Track: The Real Leader’s Guide to Accessing the Freedom & Flow of Your Authentic Genius is a seven-week leadership development program designed for high achieving professionals who are ready to reclaim their freedom, unleash their Genius, and through their example pave the way for others to do the same. Registration is now open.

You can read more about it at UnleashtheExtraordinary.com

P.S. Do you work for an organization that has a budget for leadership development? Download the business case for completing the program, which spells out seven powerful ways your organization will experience a return on its investment.