Is this you?

 

High achieving executives, particularly those with a heart for service and contribution, are prone to a very common pitfall…

And it keeps them from doing some of the very things they most pride themselves on.

Take a look at this short video and see if you can relate.

If it strikes a chord and you’d like some assistance avoiding (or recovering from) a similar fate, consider joining me next Friday, September 20 for the kickoff of The Pinocchio Principle Unleashed Fast Track. You’ll have lifetime access to seven modules of practical tips, tools and approaches to help you overcome stress, pressure and overwhelm and lead from a Genius mindset.

And each Friday for the next seven weeks we’ll meet via Zoom for additional training, support and live coaching.

Here’s what one participant had to say about her experience in the Pinocchio Principle Unleashed program:

Diane helped me uncover the thoughts I didn’t realize Iwas having and the things I was holding onto that were getting in the way – answering the question for me about why I couldn’t execute. I was able to let go of a lot of self-blame and really be in the present moment, deliberate about how I want to show up. I feel more intentional and more empowered in my work and my life. And I’m committed to being more thoughtful about creating my schedule and not allowing things to overwhelm me.

 Your greatest gift that you‘ll get if you’ll invest this time is that you’ll reconnect with yourself and find the answers you need – open up your mind and your heart, which is something you can’t do when you’re going a 100 miles an hour. The whole experience was very authentic. Diane is truly invested and engaged in creating something better for the people she works with.

       – Connie Phillips- President and CEO, Lutheran Social Services of the Southwest

Get more information and save your seat at UnleashtheExtraordinary.com.

Let me tell you why…

 

It’s Day 10 in the countdown to the kickoff of The Pinocchio Principle Unleashed Fast Track launching on September 20. It’s a program I’ve taught in some form since 2017.  I’m incredibly passionate about it and thrilled to bring you the Fast Track version. Today, in this short video, I want to share WHY…

Simon Sinek tells us “Happiness comes from what we do. Fulfillment comes from why we do it.”

The fulfillment this program has led others to experience in their work and their lives allows me to find fulfillment in mine as well. Come join me!

The Pinocchio Principle Unleashed Fast Track is a 7-week leadership development program, designed to help high-achieving (and often overextended) executives break out of limiting habits and patterns and lead from a Genius mindset.

It’s a compilation of approaches, techniques and tools that my most successful executive coaching clients have utilized over the years. Through a combination of video and live training and coaching, you’ll learn to rise above stress and pressure and take your performance to the next level – while enjoying your life more both on and off the job.

Get more information and save your seat at UnleashtheExtraordinary.com. Enroll with a friend or colleague and you’ll both save $500. Email us at Support@DianeBolden.com for group or alumni registration.

Here’s to finding your fulfillment!

Diane

P.S.    Have you already been through The Pinocchio Principle Unleashed program? Alumni are eligible to re-enroll at a special rate.

Master Your Mindset and Achieve Your Grandest Visions

 

Imagine that you’ve stepped into your car, turned the key, and shifted into drive. You’ve got your destination in mind, have charted a course to get there and are eager to be on your way. But when you step on the gas, your car only goes a fraction of the speed you were anticipating. Frustrated, you push harder. Your engine revs, but the car doesn’t go any faster.

And then you realize you forgot to take off the parking brake.

Trying to achieve your desired state without getting into the right mindset is a lot like driving with the parking brake on. No matter how grand your vision or bulletproof your plan, it’ll impede your progress and lead to frustration.

What is mindset and why is it important to achieving a desired state?

Mindset is simply the established set of attitudes you hold toward any given thing. It’s a product of what you are believing about yourself and others, what you (or they) are capable of, and what is or isn’t possible, among other things.

Your mindset is important because it determines what you see and consider to be real. And it determines how you’ll behave as a result.

Studies show that our brains process a small percentage of the data we take in.

To make sense of what is happening around us, we focus on what we believe to be true and screen everything else out. So, if you have a belief that something isn’t possible, you’ll give far greater attention and weight to data that suggests it cannot be done than you’ll give to information, encouragement or even proof that suggests it can.

And what you will experience is a self-fulfilling prophecy of sorts. As Henry Ford once said, “Whether you think you can or think you can’t, you’re right.”

So, it’s important to be aware of what you’re believing about the things you endeavor to create, achieve, or become – as well as what you’re believing about yourself and your ability to succeed.

Often our doubts and misgivings are the product of messages we’ve internalized without ever really examining them. When you become aware of a limiting belief and the impact it’s having on what you most want, it begins to lose its power.

And often, when you take the time to examine those beliefs you’ll realize they just aren’t true.

With practice, you can interrupt old, worn-out thoughts that aren’t aligned with your desired outcome or behavior and substitute them for new thoughts that are.

And ultimately, you’ll learn to shift over to a new way of thinking, which will propel you into a new way of acting — one that will help you get where you most want to go.

 If you’d like some support mastering your mindset, consider joining me for my 7 week leadership development program kicking off on September 20. The Pinocchio Principle Unleashed Fast Track will allow you to break out of limiting habits and patterns and lead from a genius mindset.

It’s a compilation of approaches, techniques and tools that my most successful executive coaching clients have utilized over the years. You’ll learn to rise above stress and pressure and take your performance to the next level while enjoying your life more both on and off the job.

Reserve your seat at UnleashtheExtraordinary.com. Enroll with a friend or send a group of people from your organization and save $500 per person.

Here’s to your success!

Diane

P.S. Have you already been through the Pinocchio Principle Unleashed program? Alumni are eligible to re-enroll at a special rate of 80% off registration. And if you register with a guest, they’ll get $500 off the cost of their enrollment.

Email  Support@DianeBolden.com for group or alumni enrollment.

Is the way you’re working not really working for you?

 

 

I’ve been talking with a lot of people who feel like the way they’ve been working over the last several years just isn’t working for them anymore.  Can you relate?

Some had become accustomed to seventy and eighty-hour work weeks.  They were used to pushing through exhaustion, getting to the end of the day with nothing left in the tank, and starting the next one with very little sleep.  Their family life suffered, as well as their own sanity.

Work they once enjoyed had begun to suck the life out of them.

Covid brought things to a head for a lot of us.  We were reminded of our own mortality – of the preciousness of life, and our desire to live it fully.  It seeded a desire to seek greater freedom and fulfillment in our work and our lives and to create necessary change.

But for many (maybe even you?), there is still a compulsion to push harder even though you’ve reached a point of diminishing returns. Perhaps you’ve slipped off your groove and seem to be spinning your wheels, going faster than ever but not really getting anywhere – except more stuck.

If this is true for you, it’s not your fault.  We have been conditioned to believe the harder we work and the busier we are, the more successful we’ll be… and that slowing down to take care of ourselves is a sign of weakness.

Old habits, patterns and beliefs die hard.  But they can be replaced with better ones.

I invite you to participate in a think tank that is eager to find a better way, to unlearn old self-defeating habits and patterns and replace them with new ones, and in so doing unleash genius in yourself and others.

You can find out more about this groundbreaking 7-week leadership development program kicking off on September 20 at UnleashtheExtraordinary.com.

Here’s what a previous participant had to say:

“I’ve really benefitted from the tools and approaches taught in The Pinocchio Principle Unleashed program and often found I was able to immediately apply a concept or tool covered in a lesson or a group meeting to something unfolding at work.  I’ve kept myself from falling into traps that used to keep me overextended and replaced old unconscious ways of working with better communication, prioritization, delegation and daily routines.

Integrating what I’ve learned in the program has also helped me stay positive and not get pulled down by things around me – and as a result have a beneficial impact on others as well. I’m living my life much more consciously and intentionally both at work and home and feeling so much happier, even as lines between work and family are becoming increasingly blurred.

I’m thrilled that people in my team have also gone through the program and will continue to do so, because I believe it’s helped us restructure and reinvigorate the way we do business to maximize our strengths and better serve our customers.”

Julie Patrick, Senior Account Executive, Employer Advocates

Feeling constrained at work (and life)?

 

If you’ve ever felt like you’re at the mercy of your environment, you may be craving more freedom in your work (and your life). Do you ever…

…feel encumbered by everything on your plate and worry that if you slow down for a minute everything could come crashing down?

…experience pressure to achieve stellar success and believe you’re only as good as your last accomplishment?

…get preoccupied with what people – your boss, peers, subordinates, even your customers think of you and exert a lot of energy trying to manage their perceptions?

…feel constrained by corporate politics and compelled to say and do things to keep yourself safe, while holding back on sharing what you really think (or who you really are)?

Most of us occasionally think and act in ways that keep us feeling trapped because it may seem doing so leads to success (or prevents “failure”). But despite your best efforts, that automatic reaction will keep you from what you most want – and eventually suck the life out of you.

There is a wiser, stronger part of you that’ll show you a better way. It’s present and playful, creative and courageous, and capable of achieving extraordinary things.

We’re conditioned to keep this version of ourselves at bay, though it offers our truest source of sustainable fuel. We often don’t even realize what great lengths we go to hold ourselves down.

What would it look like if you let more of this side yourself come out at work?

Imagine a reality where you…

… are less preoccupied and more present, have clarity to efficiently and effectively get the most important things done, and access innovative solutions that would otherwise elude you.

…are buoyed by energy, enthusiasm and confidence rather than overcome with fear and doubt.

…worry less about what people think of you and enjoy stronger, deeper connections with people who are important to you, allowing you to have greater influence and stronger relationships.

…bring more of who you really are to what you do, allowing your organization and everyone around you to benefit from your unique perspective, talents and wisdom – and through your example unleash the talent and passion of people around you.

That is a state of freedom and flow. And it’s entirely within your reach. The first step is simply to envision what that would feel and look like in your life and open yourself to the possibility of achieving it.

If you’d like some support accessing and sustaining that way of working and living, consider joining me in my upcoming program kicking off on September 20.

The Pinocchio Principle Unleashed Fast Track: The Real Leader’s Guide to Accessing the Freedom & Flow of Your Authentic Genius is a seven-week leadership development program designed for high achieving professionals who are ready to reclaim their freedom, unleash their Genius, and through their example pave the way for others to do the same. Registration is now open.

You can read more about it at UnleashtheExtraordinary.com

P.S. Do you work for an organization that has a budget for leadership development? Download the business case for completing the program, which spells out seven powerful ways your organization will experience a return on its investment.

How to Break Out of Overwhelm and Lighten Your Load

 

 

Have you ever noticed that your experience directly reflects your state of mind?

When you feel heavy and bogged down, everything you do becomes harder and more cumbersome.

You may think the way you feel is a result of your experiences, and that’s true — the more you have to do, the more overwhelmed you’ll feel. But the reverse also applies — the more overwhelmed you feel, the more you are likely to act in ways that exacerbate it. You might procrastinate, overcomplicate things, or waste energy resisting and worrying.

If you focus on evidence suggesting you’ll never rise above the way you are feeling, you’ll trap yourself in vicious circles where you’ll continue to see what you want to rise above and feel the frustration of being unable to break free.

In fact, your frame of mind with everything you do has a direct effect on whether the experience of doing it will be exhilarating and satisfying or frustrating and heavy. 

The stories we tell ourselves have a way of coming true. The way out of the traps we set for ourselves is to start not with our experiences, but our thoughts.

The fundamental shift must come not in what you do, or even how you do it, but what you are thinking, believing and allowing yourself to feel about what you are doing. 

To that end, setting an intention or statement of your desired experience can be very powerful. If you want greater freedom and joy, more meaning and satisfaction, and heightened effectiveness, you must align your thoughts around enjoying those experiences before you even start.

And you need to become diligently aware of the degree to which your thoughts stay aligned with your overarching intention. When they drift, you can return to them, remember what you really want, and align yourself with the state you wish to be in again.

In this way, you can break the vicious cycle of allowing your experiences to bring you down in ways that result in more lousy experiences — and begin anew. Your actions align with your thoughts, and you’ll find yourself coming up with creative ways to simplify, get focused on what is most important, and get it done while enjoying yourself in the process – and sharing your joy with everyone around you.

Looking for a better way to lighten your load?

Check out The Pinocchio Principle Unleashed Fast Track: The Real Leader’s Guide to Accessing the Freedom & Flow of Your Authentic Genius, an exclusive 7-week leadership development program designed to help high achieving (and often overextended) leaders minimize pressure and stress so they can access their best work — and enjoy their lives more both on and off the job.

Registration for the fall session is now open! The program will kick off on Friday 9/20 and go through November 1. Visit UnleashtheExtraordinary.com for more information or to reserve your seat.

Sometimes the Smallest Changes Spark the Biggest Transformations

“How do you like your new office?” my friend asked. I had moved from a small building to a larger one and managed to find a nice little space on the second floor at the top of a winding staircase.

It didn’t take long for me to realize it was likely the ONLY small office, surrounded by much larger suites filled with employees of organizations far bigger than my own.

“I love it. It’s beautiful and quiet… Maybe too quiet sometimes,” I added.

My friend looked puzzled.

I missed walking down the halls of my old building, seeing warm smiles on familiar faces, and engaging in an occasional bit of banter.

“It’s strange,” I told her. People don’t seem to make eye contact. Everyone stares straight ahead and silently goes about their business. It’s like an unwritten code or something.”

“An introvert’s dream.” She replied.

She was right. Kind of.

As an introvert myself, I must admit I’m not one who actively seeks conversation. But something was missing. I just wasn’t feeling very connected.

A few days later I was washing my hands in the lady’s room. A woman came out of the stall and proceeded to the sink next to mine. Something welled up in me. Before I knew what I was doing, I heard myself break the silence, suddenly blurting out a clumsy greeting.

“How are you today?”

She looked up, somewhat startled, and stared blankly at me. For a moment, I was reminded of how it felt to be an awkward teenager.

“I’m fine,” she replied after what seemed an eternity. “How are you?”

“I’m great. I’m kind of new here, and I noticed that people don’t really talk to each other much – it’s like an elevator where everyone faces forward and never interacts. And I started to do that too. But I thought it might be nice to try something different today.”

Her face softened, and her eyes brightened. “Yeah, you’re right. I’m just running all the time from thing to thing and so preoccupied.”

“I know that feeling,” I responded, thinking of how many times I was kind of relieved to not have to engage with anyone.

“It really is nice to just be able to talk like yourself, isn’t’ it?” she said.

I found her choice of words interesting. We both relaxed a bit and became a little more conscious. After exchanging names and talking ever so briefly, we each went our way.

And in that moment, the trajectory of my day (and perhaps that of days to come) was changed.

As I reflected on the interaction later, I realized how easy it is for all of us to just take as given the circumstances we find ourselves in – the social norms, the cultural conditioning, the perceived constraints of our day-to-day lives.

Some of those norms serve us. But every once in a while, you might recognize one you’d like to bump up against and challenge in some small, perhaps even unperceivable way.

Do it. You may find you’re not the only one who wants to break through those unwritten rules.

Sometimes the smallest changes spark the biggest transformations – even if only in yourself.

Here’s to busting out of your box!

Performance Management Doesn’t Have to Be Painful

Do you dread doing performance appraisals? (…or any kind of performance management?)

If so, you’re not alone. It’s rarely an experience people look forward to – whether on the receiving, or the giving end. But it doesn’t have to be.

It’s true that many performance appraisal systems don’t do much to motivate and inspire even the strongest of performers (and are often seen as a necessary evil). But if you feel your hands are tied as a result, you will dramatically underestimate the power of your leadership.

Over the years, in the myriad of 360 feedback interviews I’ve done for my executive clients, it almost never fails that at least one (and usually many more) of their directs indicate they would really like to have more feedback, coaching, and mentoring on what they could do better…

Which is interesting – because they don’t just say they want more POSITIVE feedback. They say they want the CONSTRUCTIVE kind too.

They want to know what their leader sees them as capable of achieving – what heights their manager envisions them potentially reaching. And they want to know what they need to do (or stop doing) to close the gap between where they are and where they could be.

These conversations are undoubtedly something that should happen more than once or twice a year. But even if, like many leaders, you have not yet made good on your intentions to have those conversations more often, you can start anytime.

You can start now.

Here are some questions worth considering that can help you turn otherwise unpleasant feedback conversations into valuable ignitors of performance.

• What do you see each of your people capable of achieving?
• What, if anything might they be doing that could get in their way?
• How can you bring limiting behaviors or patterns to their attention in a way that helps them recognize (1) how their current behavior is getting in their way, (2) why making a change will help them to succeed, (3) what they need to do differently, (4) what gives you the confidence they can turn things around?
• What coaching, mentoring, learning/development opportunities, and/or other support can you make available to help them bridge the gap?

Performance feedback conversations don’t have to be a drag.

If you were walking around with a giant weight tied to your back that you didn’t realize you were carrying, you’d be grateful to someone who helped you recognize how to release it. Especially if that person was also able to hold a vision of what you could achieve if you let it go – and where you might be able to go without it.

As a leader, you can do that for other people all day, every day.

Here’s to your success – and your ability to help others succeed too!

Diane

How to Keep Your Dream Alive (despite doubt, hesitation and other obstacles)

 

Do you have a vision you aspire to make real? No matter what the day/week/month brings… hold strong and continue to breathe life into it. And don’t let your doubt or hesitation steal its fire.

As children, most of us received mixed messages. You may have been encouraged to follow your heart and give life to your dreams in addition to being conditioned to be practical, hedge your bets, and take the safest route. Over time, many of us have allowed the roar of public opinion – that often tells us our dreams are frivolous, selfish, and unlikely to come to fruition – to silence that small still voice within.

But those among us who have risen against their odds have learned to reverse that process and believe in themselves and their dreams despite the overwhelming evidence around them that would suggest that success is improbable.

“If you lose hope, somehow you lose the vitality that keeps life moving, you lost that courage to be, that quality that helps you go on in spite of it all.

And so today I still have a dream.”

~ Martin Luther King

The beginning of each year brings with it the question of what you will focus your time, energy, and resources on accomplishing. It is an optimal time to reacquaint yourself with your dreams and visions, your purpose and values, and the question of how you can become a living example of that which you most admire.

You may be quite sure of what it is you would like to create, do, have, or become. Or perhaps you have only small pieces of a bigger puzzle that has not yet come together.

We all have different talents and strengths, diverse styles and passions – along with a unique combination of experiences (for better or worse) that allows us to discover and apply them to create something bigger than ourselves. You may not know exactly what form it will take, but if you pay attention to the whispers and yearnings of your heart, you’ll begin to make out the shape of something that beckons to you.

The power of your dream will be bolstered by the degree to which your vision expands beyond your own interests to those of others around you. Spend some time contemplating where you feel most drawn and why.

When you land on something that will allow your gifts to align with those of others to accomplish complementary goals, you’ll join forces with something much greater than yourself. It will lift you up when your energy is low and sustain you through moments of doubt and fear.

If you’d like some support in learning how you can leverage your unique style to best connect and collaborate with others to make your vision real, take advantage of a special Happy New Year offer.

For a limited time when you enroll in the Leverage Your Style Behavioral Style Self Study, you’ll have complimentary access to Navigating Change, Challenge & Uncertainty: How to Unleash Extraordinary Performance in Unchartered Territory. Go to www.MeetChangeWithStyle.com for more information (including the curriculum for each course) and to enroll.

You’ll also receive a research-backed, highly validated Target Training International assessment that’ll provide you with a comprehensive 20+ page report about your specific style, including your strengths and areas of opportunity.

Here’s to the power of YOUR dream!

The One Gift Everyone Needs Most (and No One Gets Enough Of)

 

Regardless of your holiday budget, there’s a gift you can share that transcends all others and won’t cost you a thing. One could argue it’s the one thing that no one gets enough of and everyone needs the most…

It’s the gift of presence, a state that allows us to truly bring out the best in ourselves so that we can do the same for others.

When you give presence, everyone benefits – including you.

You can experience it wherever you are — whether in a meeting, running an errand, sitting at your desk, or in a conversation. It has the power to transform the way you experience your daily life and what it allows you to create for yourself and others — without really DOING anything at all.

Can you recall the last time you felt totally and completely attended to?

Chances are it wasn’t when someone was giving you advice or telling you what to do. It may not have even been when someone was serving you or watching you tear open a gift. Yet when we think of giving something to others our minds often immediately jump to what we can do, say or buy for someone. Many times, the best gift we can give someone is that of our presence.

What exactly is presence?

The word present derives from the Latin past participle praesse meaning “to be before one”. It’s a state of being that’s achieved when you’re truly in the moment, allowing it to unfold without judging it, labeling it, or getting lost in your thoughts about what it means or what you believe should be happening next (or instead).

Presence allows us to cut through the clamor of our preoccupations, worries and fears so that our true selves can emerge. It’s a gateway through which our intuition and inner wisdom enters and expresses itself. A moment of presence is a state of grace that allows us to receive powerful insights that help us make the most of our opportunities and rise to our challenges in creative ways.

It’s a gift that keeps on giving.

 In these moments of presence, you’ll experience things on a different level – one that allows you to respond from a deeper, wiser part of yourself. And when you are with others, listening deeply and making them the center of your attention you will bring out that deeper, wiser part of them as well.

This is why the best leaders have learned to become comfortable with silence, to listen more than they talk, and to allow themselves to become instruments that help others to recognize their own greatness – not necessarily through anything that say or do, but rather through moments of presence that are created and shared with others.

In a world where everything moves so fast and people often feel overlooked and unheard, presence is one of the greatest gifts you can give.

It has the capacity to transform ordinary everyday life into precious moments that’ll become treasured memories. And since it’s a gift that’ll give as much to you as it will to others, it makes giving as wonderful as getting – no matter the time of year.

Here’s to your presence! Wishing you and yours a beautiful holiday.