Share ThisCategory Archives: Navigating Through Change, Challenge & Uncertainty
On the Verge of Transformation
Do you ever feel like you are in the middle of some kind of transformation, but not yet clear on exactly where you are going and what form things are going to take? Speaking from my own experience, it can be a bit unnerving when you are in the thick of it. You may feel as though you’ll never find your way through.
They say it helps to find inspiration from those who have gone before you. On that note, the above video, On the Verge of Transformation, features an interview with a caterpillar. I hope you enjoy it.
Here is what I said in the video:
These live caterpillars came in the mail the other day. My daughter is going to start a butterfly habitat. And when they arrived they were really little — teeny, tiny things. Just a couple of days ago, they started climbing up to the top. You might be able to see, they are starting to hang from the lid.
And I found myself staring at these guys the other day as they were still caterpillars crawling around, wondering if they had any idea what is going to happen to them — that their whole life as they know it is going to end — and if they felt fear. And I wonder, if I could interview a little caterpillar, what would it tell me if I said,
“Hey, do you have any fear about what’s going to happen to you?”
He’d probably look at me and say “Why would I have fear?”
“Because everything you know is about to end.”
And he’d probably say, “Says who?”
And if I said, “But you have no idea what’s going to happen!”
And he could say, “Neither do you.”
And look, they are totally surrendered. If ever there was a position of surrender, it would be hanging upside down while your entire body dissolves into mucus and nothingness and is completely reconstituted — and then to have to find your way out of the chrysalis all on your own. And yet, they do it all the time. It’s part of nature. And they have no fear.
The thought occurred to me that we are always going through our process all the time too. And we get scared, because we have stories about all the things we are going to lose and all the stuff we are going to suffer at. Yet, maybe we can take a cue from the caterpillar. Maybe I can have a little bit of comfort and faith in knowing that just totally surrendering to the process could result in something fantastic and beyond anything I ever could have imagined.
For more on change and transformation:
The Pinocchio Principle: Becoming the Leader You Were Born to Be (book) 
Busting Out of the Box (workshop)
Taking Your Leap, Part I & Part II
Bridging the Gap Between No More and Not Yet
Photo by Colin Stitt from Dreamstime.
Busting Out of the Box
Are you on the verge of something big? Contemplating a change? Or in the midst of one? Ready to light it up and blow the lid off what you’ve previously been able to do — and lead others to do the same?
If so, chances are good that you have encountered RESISTANCE. It might feel like you keep hitting walls or even like the walls are closing in on you. Those walls are part of a box surrounding you that keeps you from your greatest work.
But with a lot of willingness and a little help, YOU CAN BUST THROUGH IT!
If you are a business professional in a formal or informal leadership position that is ready to bust through your box and lead others do the same, check out my new program, Busting Out of the Box. It combines three of the most powerful learning formats that I know of and that my clients have told me they’ve benefitted most from, and it will be custom tailored to fit the unique needs of each small group of five to eight people who participate…
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Personalized One on One Coaching Kickoff
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Interactive Five Hour Small Group Workshop (to be held in the Phoenix area)
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Four Ongoing 90 Minute Group Mastermind Sessions
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Follow up Individualized, Personalized Coaching
WHAT WILL YOU GAIN BY PARTICIPATING?
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Breakthrough results
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Issue resolution
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Individualized attention
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Group synergy
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Focus, accountability and support
For more information, go to www.BustingOutoftheBox.com. For dates, times and locations, call (602) 889-2329.
Taking Your Leap, Part II
This post is the second in a two part article on listening to and answering your call to greatness. (Click here for Part I.) It is also an excerpt from my new book, The Pinocchio Principle: Becoming the Leader You Were Born to Be.
If you are ready to take your leap, I invite you to call me at (602) 889-2329 for a complimentary coaching session to see how I can support you through your transformation. Next week, I’ll post information about a new program I am rolling out specifically designed to help you bust through the barriers that keep you from your greatest work.
Taking Your Leap, Part II
Anytime you make a decision to go out of your comfort zone, to do something that is new or unusual for you, you will most likely experience a tinge of fear, hesitation, or anxiety. This fear may lead you to question your ability, your likelihood of succeeding, and the possibility of your demise – whatever that may mean for you. It is essential to realize that this fear is a part of your journey as a leader.
It is not necessary to overcome this fear. The key is to use it in ways that serve you, rather than hold you back. Remember the last time you stood on a high dive? You may have felt flip flops in your stomach or a strange surge of energy through your core. Perhaps you turned around and climbed back down. Or maybe you stepped forward, entered the unknown, and bravely leaped off the board.
After having done it once, depending on your experience, it may have been a bit easier for you to repeat the experience. As leaders, we are repeatedly called to dive into the unknown, in spite of our fears about it. We must use the fear to inform us of the dangers, and to provide us with data that will help us make good decisions. But we must not allow this fear to make our decisions for us.
Having faced our fear and moved forward in spite of it, the experience may be positive or negative. Regardless of the outcome, we must acknowledge the progress we have made. If our experience is less than desirable, we can evaluate it and learn from it. Having had the experience, we are wiser for it – far more than we would be if we simply continued to contemplate taking that leap or safely learn from the experience of others instead. And if we are successful, we can build on this experience and use it as a platform for further growth.
There will always be an abundance of people who will tell you why things cannot be done, what there is to fear, and why it is just not worth the risk. Let them speak, but do not be swayed by their doubt. It is based on their own experience of the world, not yours. If you are to lead, you must set the example for others so that they can see that even when you take a risk and fail, you have moved forward and began progress in a direction that would have otherwise been stunted. If you believe you cannot succeed, you may be right. But if you believe you can, you are halfway there.
When was the last time you took a risk to experience something that has been calling to you – something that you know in your heart is for your highest good (and that of others as well)? What happened when you did? What did you learn? And how have you grown as a result?
What is calling to you now? And what small, sweet step can you take to bring you closer to experiencing the exhilaration of moving bravely in a direction that might just take you and others around you to a new level of mastery?
For more on taking your leap:
The Pinocchio Principle: Becoming the Leader You Were Born to Be
Bridging the Gap Between No More and Not Yet
Jumping Man image by Kashak from Bigstock.com, 2011. Diving Board Image by Carrie Owens from Bigstock.com, 2007.
Taking Your Leap, Part I
This week’s post is the first of a two part article on listening to and answering your call to greatness. It is also an excerpt from my new book, The Pinocchio Principle: Becoming the Leader You Were Born to Be. If you are ready to take your leap, I invite you to call me at (602) 889-2329 for a complimentary coaching session to see how I can support you through your transformation. Stay tuned to hear more about a new program I am getting ready to roll out specifically designed to help you bust through the barriers that keep you from your greatest work.
Taking Your Leap, Part I
The call to something bigger is often ushered in by a period of discomfort, where one slowly begins to realize that the outer world does not match the inner one. We may begin to feel a sort of incongruence accompanied by increasing awareness of our current course of events and what it is all for. A greater purpose looms in the background, but the way things are set up doesn’t quite allow that vision to live. And so it is time for a change.
Some call this an awakening. Others call it a crisis. It is a doorway to greater meaning and contribution, and the beginning of a transformation that happens from the inside out.
Many of us have spent a great deal of our lives trying to live up to what we believe others expect of us. When what others want for us is consistent with what we want for ourselves, this approach is satisfying. Often though, we begin to become aware of the ways in which this approach may no longer serve us.
People, events, or behaviors that used to give us pleasure no longer seem to be enough. Sometimes they become downright anxiety producing. We may begin to question what it is all for. In these times of despair and doubt, if we pay attention to our anxiety and move into it (rather than away from it), we can begin to ascertain the messages it brings to us. When we are destined for something bigger than what we are currently experiencing, the old must lose its appeal before we will make the bold move into something new.
If this is happening to you, do not be disheartened. Simply cultivate awareness and begin to ask yourself the kinds of questions that will empower you to know what you must do next. Questions such as, “What can I do right now to make the most of this situation?” or “How can I reframe what I am seeing so that I get the bigger picture?” can be very illuminating, as they allow us to focus on answers that are often right in front of us.
Don’t be afraid of the answers. You don’t necessarily have to quit your job, change your career or reinvent your whole life to usher in what you are on the brink of. But you will need to begin to see it all a little differently and begin to give heed to inklings, urges and what you may think are just crazy ideas that keep coming to you again and again.
Pay attention to the recurrent dreams and visions you find yourself engaging in. What is it that you have always wanted to do, but for one reason or another have never acted on? Perhaps now is the time to take some small steps to give those ideas life.
For more on taking your leap:
The Pinocchio Principle: Becoming the Leader You Were Born to Be
Bridging the Gap Between No More and Not Yet
Bridging the Gap Between No More and Not Yet
The above video is about a recent meeting I had with a client who is at his own crossroads and an answer that came through the meeting that I believe has relevance to anyone who finds themselves in a similar place. Over the last few weeks it has become increasingly clear that I want to support more people who are ready to answer the call to take things up a notch and choose something bigger for themselves, their teams and organizations.
I have decided to take on seven additional leadership coaching clients. If you are ready to get serious about moving forward, I invite you to call me at (602) 889-2329 for a complimentary thirty minute coaching session that will allow both of us to determine whether working together would be a good fit. I have been told that I should charge for these sessions and at some point I may. But for now, they are available at no cost.
Stay tuned for info on an intensive program I’m getting ready to launch that will integrate a small group workshop experience with private coaching and a group mastermind. Or, give me a call and I’ll tell you about it myself.
Here’s what I said in the video:
I had a meeting with a client the other day that made a really big impact on me because he is in a place I find myself in. And I think a lot of us are in it. It’s what I call Limbo Land. Limbo Land is the place you get to where everything you’ve done up until now worked beautifully. You could think yourself through any situation. You’ve mastered your craft. Maybe you’ve had a lot of education or training, and several promotions and by all appearances seem to have arrived. And yet nothing is working. Things are falling apart.
And the more you do what you’ve always done, not only the less effective you are, but the less happy and satisfied you are. It is a point of pain that causes you to want more. And what causes even more pain — I saw it in my client and I see it in myself — is wanting to move forward using everything that got you where you are and realizing that it is not working anymore.
So, the question is, how do you get from here to wherever it is you are supposed to go next? And the frustrating thing about that is that when you are in Limbo Land is that you have NO IDEA where you are supposed to go next. You just know that it is somewhere different than where you are now. And it is beckoning.
Now, that’s the exciting part about it: there’s something that is beckoning. And when you get out of the fear, you can start to feel the exhilaration of it, which is where my client started to go yesterday. I found myself getting really excited for him – and really excited for myself. Because what’s just around the corner, I think, is going to blow our minds. We just can’t figure out how to get there.
SO, in the absence of the answers, what I’m beginning to understand and rely on is that we can go do desire. The desire is about what we want. What do we want to move toward?
I’m finding that what excites me about moving forward is not doing things for myself anymore. Because everything I did up to a certain point was about getting ME successful, to get ME well known, to propel MYSELF. And it’s not enough anymore. I want to do something that is going to help other people in some way. I have no idea what that’s going to be. And that’s exactly where my client is too. It’s scary as hell. But you know, if I can just stay in the place of what would it feel like to get there, that might be enough to help me overcome my fear, and to power on and to do something I never realized I could do.
How about you?
Why I Can’t Promote My New Book Just Yet
A NOTE FROM DIANE:
I almost didn’t post the above video. It’s personal. And it was recorded in a fragile moment. But then I remembered how comforted I have felt by messages from people who were courageous enough to talk about the challenges and frustrations they were working through. And I decided, the hell with it. I’m going to put the video up. If it lifts the hearts of just one or two people, it’ll be worth it.
If you’ve ever been in a spot where, despite having access to an overwhelming amount of information and people that seem to have it all figured out, you just can’t seem to find any answers — know that you are not alone. And please also know, that you too will find your way.
Here is the written version of what I said in the video:
People have been asking me, What have you done to promote your book? Do you have a publicist? Are you going on tour?
I wrote this book — The Pinocchio Principle: Becoming the Leader You Were Born to Be. It took me six years to write it. It’s been out for three months. And I can’t get myself to promote it. I can’t get myself to do anything with it. And I know that I should.
So the other day, I was watching a webcast from someone talking about how to become a best seller — how to become a trusted advisor. And I began to fill my head with all these things I thought I should be doing. I found myself taking copious notes. And I got to this point where I couldn’t watch it anymore. I had to turn it off. Something got into me and I literally had to go cry. And I cried so hard I almost threw up.
After all that passed, I realized that the reason that I can’t promote my book yet is that I’m looking so hard outside of myself for people to tell me what to do in an arena where I don’t feel like I have the answers. And the irony is that the book I wrote is about how to trust your inner wisdom and how to navigate through your challenges and your uncertainty.
And so when I got done crying I had to start laughing. Because it’s kind of funny that I actually already have the workbook I need. It’s right here [in the book I’ve poured my heart into for the last six years].
The truth of the matter is that this book isn’t really as much for you as it is for me. And before I can really promote it — before I can feel as though it will be of value to people, I need to live it. And that’s what I’m going to do.
For more on finding your way:
Finding Your Answer In the Midst of Chaos
The video above was born of a desire to capture not only the feeling of frustration and chaos, but also a way to rise above it . Below is a transcript of what I said (minus the demonstration). And at the end of the transcript are links to other resources on finding answers in the midst of chaos.
Do you ever get so frustrated that you can’t take it anymore? Find yourself in a situation where you have NO IDEA what to do? So mad. All you want to do is get away. You want to leave. You want to escape. But you can’t. You’re stuck. And the more you panic, the tighter everything gets. The more trapped you feel. The more angry you are. And it gets worse. And WORSE.
Maybe it’s a conflict — a difficult conversation. Maybe someone just dropped a bomb on you — gave you feedback that was kind of painful. Or maybe someone just told you to get your project done in a day instead of a week. Maybe the rug just got pulled out from under you. Who knows?
We have this every day. I have this. And the more I resist, the more I LOSE IT. I lose my head. I lose touch with anything that might help me get out of the situation.
But you know what? Maybe, instead of trying to GET AWAY and make things happen just the way WE want them to, we can just relax, take a deep breath, reconnect, take another look and realize… Hey, you know what? It’s not as bad as I thought. I was making a lot of stuff up when I was panicking. But when I look at it and relax — when I connect, I realize I have everything I need.
And then, I find my answer. And so will you.
For more information on finding answers in the midst of chaos:
Bouncing Back: Hope for the Hopeless
Have you experienced a disappointment or setback in your recent past that left you reeling? Have you found it difficult to get excited about things and maybe even felt like you needed to make a drastic change in order to bounce back? If so, this week’s video post is just for you. Below is a written version of what is in the video.
If you live in Phoenix, you may have noticed that a lot of shrubbery and trees froze over the winter. They look like they are dead — all dried up and prickly – ugly. I have a bougainvillea in my back yard that froze — not a pretty sight. It’s tempting to pull the whole thing out. Because it looks like it is dead. But I know that it is not, because this has happened in the past. And I know that once we trim all the dead stuff off, in the coming weeks, it will come back fuller and even more beautiful than it was last year.
That bougainvillea is a lot like us. I think a lot of us have experienced what we would call a freeze in our lives at some point – maybe a layoff, a reorganization, or just having the rug pulled out from under you, where you think that nothing is the way you want it to be and you wonder how you will ever recover. And I think some of us have been in a freeze for a really long time. We’ve lost the passion in what we do. We’ve lost the lightness in our step and maybe things have become a bit of a drudge.
You may think you have to change everything to bounce back, just like you might think you have to pull this tree out. But really, there is wisdom in realizing that sometimes we have the opportunity to trim the dead stuff away and to recognize that there is something underneath it just waiting to break through. And the freeze is neither good, nor bad. It just is. Whatever it is that may have happened to you or me in our past — it’s not good, it’s not bad — it just is. What we need to realize that there is something within needing to break though and we have an opportunity to trim away the stuff that isn’t working anymore and have faith that in the spring we will bloom fuller, brighter and bigger than we did before.
For more on bouncing back:
Bouncing Back: Perserverance Personified
The Pinocchio Principle: Becoming the Leader You Were Born to Be
How Do You Know If It’s Really a Sign?
My last couple of posts (A Story about Signs, Synchronicity & Meaningful Coincidences and Another Story about Signs, Synchronicity & Meaningful Coincidences) featured videos about experiences I had that gave me the courage I needed to take action toward something that I was excited about and a little scared of. The signs were clear and empowering. But sometimes we get signs or have experiences that are not so supportive or uplifting. And other times the signs we get are conflicting. What do you make of THAT?
Well, on that note, I have another story to tell you. Shortly after I gave my notice six years ago to leave my cushy job and start my own business, I met some friends/colleagues for dinner and was excited to tell them the news of my recent decision. I was still reeling from the sudden turn of events and though I was thrilled about the leap I had just taken, I was also feeling a bit nervous and vulnerable (as most people do when they move out of their comfort zones). I was hoping that they would give me added encouragement and support.
Unfortunately, they did not. In fact, they were quite adamant with their cautionary tales about several people they knew who had left their stable jobs only to find themselves barely scraping by and lamenting their decisions. GREAT. This is NOT what I wanted to hear. And it bothered me that two people I respected and admired — who were in fact successful independent consultants in their own right — were chastising me for my decision instead of congratulating me. (Yes, there was a little ego in there too.)
I left the restaurant feeling beaten and discouraged. I began to question myself and doubt my abilities. I worried that I had made a costly mistake. Was this a sign?
The next day I went running on a canal bank near my house, which I frequently do to clear my head and tune in to something bigger than myself. I reflected on the previous evening’s conversation. I felt the worry well up inside of me and ran harder and faster as though I could possibly outrun it. Did I make the right decision?
In the next moment, a sign caught my eye. It was a mile marker placed on the side of the canal by a running club for people who were training for an upcoming 10K. Beneath the number on the sign, there was a quote. It said “Those who believe it cannot be done should get out of the way of those who are doing it.”
I felt the hair on my arms stand up. The worry gave way to relief and then laughter. I knew this little sign was for me.
Here’s what I learned from that. When it is really a sign that has significance, it will resonate with your inner wisdom – not your inner critic. It will make you feel strong, at peace, and calm. The sign or experience itself isn’t as important as the feeling it evokes and the messages we intuit.
There have been times when I was considering a course of action that wasn’t right for me. As I reflect on what might have been signs that confirmed an inner knowing that I should not proceed, those signs were never shameful or disparaging. Rather, they simply heightened my awareness of an incongruence I was already experiencing on some level – kind of like the way I’ve felt after trying something on that I really wanted to wear, but just didn’t fit right, or playing the piano and landing on a note that was in the wrong key.
Sometimes I paid attention to those little signs, and sometimes I didn’t — perhaps a story for another post. Suffice it to say that when I paused long enough to ask, listen, and really discern what was going on, it made all the difference in the world.
For more information on Signs, Synchronicity and Meaningful Coincidences:
A Story About Signs, Synchronicity and Meaningful Coincidences
Deciphering Signs, Synchronicity and Meaningful Coincidences
Another Story About Signs, Synchronicity and Meaningful Coincidences
The Pinocchio Principle: Becoming the Leader You Were Born to Be
Another Story About Signs, Synchronicity & Meaningful Coincidences
This week’s post features a video of an even more unbelievable story than the last one I shared with you — about a series of seemingly random and recurring events that had a profound impact on me. These experiences provided the courage and the nudge I needed to take action on something that simultaneously excited and terrified me — leaving my stable, well paid job to launch my dream of having my own business. Below is a written version of the story (as it appears in my new book The Pinocchio Principle: Becoming the Leader You Were Born to Be), minus a few details I added in the above video version.
For years I worked as an internal consultant and executive coach for a large corporation in a job I loved. Gradually, I began to recognize my longing to break out to start my own business and have more flexibility and time to spend with my family. Initially, I dismissed these yearnings as something everyone encounters. Then I began looking into what it would take to actually start a corporation. Though I daydreamed of the possibilities, the thought of leaving my job altogether seemed impractical since I was enjoying my work and had wonderful working conditions. I reasoned that I would stay there unless things changed to the point that I didn’t enjoy it anymore.
I kept waiting for things to take a turn for the worse — for someone to tell me I couldn’t do the work I was passionate about anymore, or for the organization to be restructured in such a way that was no longer optimal for me. None of that happened. In fact, things just seemed to get better and better there. Still, these visions and dreams continued to beckon. They became more and more pronounced, until finally I began to seriously entertain the notion of taking action on them.
I began to find screws everywhere I went. I walked across the kitchen floor and stepped on one. An elevator opened up and I saw another one on the floor in front of me. They were turning up when I cleaned my kids’ rooms, and in other odd places. In a meeting, a co-worker and I were pouring over some documents when a tiny screw popped out of her reading glasses and landed on the papers in front of us. Initially, I didn’t think anything of finding these screws. But after several occurrences, I became curious as to whether there could be significance.
One day while on the phone with a very good friend, I related my experiences. “Maybe you’re screwed,” she joked. “Or I have a few screws loose?” I retorted. She suggested we look up the definition of a screw in the dictionary. As she went to get her dictionary, I wandered around the house, phone in hand, straightening things up. When she came back to the phone, among the many definitions she read was one that said “something that must be turned or acted upon in some manner.” As she said the words, I reached into the small drawer of a sewing table in our living room and felt my hand wrap around a zip-lock bag. I lifted the bag out of the drawer to find — you guessed it — a bag of screws in assorted sizes.
This act held profound meaning for me, as it seemed to be the crowning event of a series of seemingly coincidental incidents that became more and more pronounced until they finally got my attention. Whether it was my subconscious mind, the screws, or both, I felt sure there was a message for me. The following week, I gave my notice at work (and didn’t encounter any more screws after that).
For more information on Signs, Synchronicity and Meaningful Coincidences:
A Story About Signs, Synchronicity and Meaningful Coincidences (the first one)
Deciphering Signs, Synchronicity and Meaningful Coincidences
The Pinocchio Principle: Becoming the Leader You Were Born to Be
