Master Your Mindset and Achieve Your Grandest Visions

 

Imagine that you’ve stepped into your car, turned the key, and shifted into drive. You’ve got your destination in mind, have charted a course to get there and are eager to be on your way. But when you step on the gas, your car only goes a fraction of the speed you were anticipating. Frustrated, you push harder. Your engine revs, but the car doesn’t go any faster.

And then you realize you forgot to take off the parking brake.

Trying to achieve your desired state without getting into the right mindset is a lot like driving with the parking brake on. No matter how grand your vision or bulletproof your plan, it’ll impede your progress and lead to frustration.

What is mindset and why is it important to achieving a desired state?

Mindset is simply the established set of attitudes you hold toward any given thing. It’s a product of what you are believing about yourself and others, what you (or they) are capable of, and what is or isn’t possible, among other things.

Your mindset is important because it determines what you see and consider to be real. And it determines how you’ll behave as a result.

Studies show that our brains process a small percentage of the data we take in.

To make sense of what is happening around us, we focus on what we believe to be true and screen everything else out. So, if you have a belief that something isn’t possible, you’ll give far greater attention and weight to data that suggests it cannot be done than you’ll give to information, encouragement or even proof that suggests it can.

And what you will experience is a self-fulfilling prophecy of sorts. As Henry Ford once said, “Whether you think you can or think you can’t, you’re right.”

So, it’s important to be aware of what you’re believing about the things you endeavor to create, achieve, or become – as well as what you’re believing about yourself and your ability to succeed.

Often our doubts and misgivings are the product of messages we’ve internalized without ever really examining them. When you become aware of a limiting belief and the impact it’s having on what you most want, it begins to lose its power.

And often, when you take the time to examine those beliefs you’ll realize they just aren’t true.

With practice, you can interrupt old, worn-out thoughts that aren’t aligned with your desired outcome or behavior and substitute them for new thoughts that are.

And ultimately, you’ll learn to shift over to a new way of thinking, which will propel you into a new way of acting — one that will help you get where you most want to go.

 If you’d like some support mastering your mindset, consider joining me for my 7 week leadership development program kicking off on September 20. The Pinocchio Principle Unleashed Fast Track will allow you to break out of limiting habits and patterns and lead from a genius mindset.

It’s a compilation of approaches, techniques and tools that my most successful executive coaching clients have utilized over the years. You’ll learn to rise above stress and pressure and take your performance to the next level while enjoying your life more both on and off the job.

Reserve your seat at UnleashtheExtraordinary.com. Enroll with a friend or send a group of people from your organization and save $500 per person.

Here’s to your success!

Diane

P.S. Have you already been through the Pinocchio Principle Unleashed program? Alumni are eligible to re-enroll at a special rate of 80% off registration. And if you register with a guest, they’ll get $500 off the cost of their enrollment.

Email  Support@DianeBolden.com for group or alumni enrollment.

What if the setback is actually the springboard?

I used to believe things happened in a linear way – first this, then that; one building block upon another in a specific order; cause and effect.

I’ve since realized that achieving a larger vision or desire often triggers a chain of seemingly disjointed events that is in reality very connected.

It’s like watching a movie of a glass shattering in reverse motion. The pieces come from all directions, seemingly unrelated, to assemble into a perfect whole.

Each piece is absolutely necessary, in and of itself incomplete and incomprehensibly connected to a bigger picture.

There are often ups and downs and unanticipated occurrences.  And these seemingly divergent paths are absolutely necessary for us to experience the totality of our vision.

Sometimes we’re faced with trials that prepare us as leaders to help others work their way through those challenges – or to learn something we’ll need to know to flourish in our future endeavors.

We may not realize the significance or relevance of these experiences until much later, when in retrospect we become aware of the distinct reason we needed to endure any given challenge, setback, delay, or what originally felt like an irrelevant nuisance.

These obstacles give us a greater perspective on who we are, a larger appreciation for where we’ve been and where we’re going, and compassion for others who experience the same things we have along the way.

In dealing with these challenges, we realize that we’re far greater than we thought we were. And as leaders, we can help others appreciate and leverage their own chaos as well.

Taking the time to connect the dots of your experiences (even the disappointing or frustrating ones) can lead to some powerful insights about what life may be preparing you for.

It can also generate the resilience and regeneration necessary to work through those obstacles with greater ease and grace.

What’s irritating you right now?

Perhaps the experience you’d rather put behind you contains the very thing you need to get where you ultimately want to go.

The Pinocchio Principle Unleashed Fast Track program kicking off on September 20 can help you make the most of anything life throws at you – not only for yourself but also in service to others. Here’s what Karen Kurtz of Dolese had to say about it:

“What I liked most about The Pinocchio Principle Unleashed Program was that it gave me “permission” to take time out of my day to think about leadership, productivity, habits, etc. and really dig inside and reflect on obstacles that were preventing me from moving forward and the tools I could use to overcome them. The program goes beyond simple leadership principles and jargon and really helps you look inward into what you want and what you want to be. I would recommend it to anyone who needs to sharpen their tool belt and reconnect with their true leadership style.”

For more information or to save your spot, go to UnleashtheExtraordinary.com.

Here’s to your success!

Diane

P.S. Attend with a friend or colleague and you’ll both save $500 on the cost of registration.

Do you work for an organization that has a budget for leadership development? Download the business case for completing the program, which spells out seven powerful ways your organization will experience a return on its investment

From DOING to DONE: The Power of Simplicity & Focus

 

You’ve carved out the time, eliminated the distractions, and sat yourself down to finally do that important work you’ve been meaning to get to.  But you just can’t get yourself to start.

Suddenly, all manner of things become more appealing… checking your inbox, thinking about what you’ll eat for lunch (or dinner), reorganizing the piles on your desk.

Before you know it, your time is up, and you feel like you haven’t really accomplished much.

If that sounds familiar, you aren’t alone. I’ve been there too. And I work with executives all the time who have similar experiences.

One of the most common assumptions people have that keeps them from executing is that they won’t be able to do justice to the work in the time they have.  And when projects are large, sometimes they don’t even know where to start.

A confused mind is not a productive one. So, see if you can make things as simple as possible.

Break it down.

And ask yourself, “In the time that I have right now, what does DONE look like?”

Maybe you don’t have to have the whole problem solved or project completed. Perhaps you just need to do some research to find the answers to a few questions, make a couple of calls, or break out the steps you need to take moving forward.

If you can make the expectations you have of yourself realistic, you may find yourself more inclined to jump in (and less prone to distraction or derailment).

This is consistent with Victor Vroom’s expectancy theory of motivation, which has been a solid operating principle since the 1960’s.  There are three components:

1) The level of perceived satisfaction you’ll have when you achieve a goal.
Check in with your why. What is it about making progress on this thing you’ve set time aside for that is rewarding? How can you make it meaningful to you?

2) Your belief that the effort you put in will allow you to perform.
If your definition of DONE is about moving the needle incrementally forward versus having everything finished (or perfect), you can proceed with greater confidence.

3) The degree to which your performance will allow you reach your desired outcome. If you know the actions you take in the time you have will bring you closer to your ultimate goal, your desire to take that step will increase. (This is why many digital surveys feature progress bars that show how close you are to finishing.)

Never underestimate the power of simplicity. Sometimes you can do more when you focus on less.

Here’s to moving forward!

Diane

Sometimes the Smallest Changes Spark the Biggest Transformations

“How do you like your new office?” my friend asked. I had moved from a small building to a larger one and managed to find a nice little space on the second floor at the top of a winding staircase.

It didn’t take long for me to realize it was likely the ONLY small office, surrounded by much larger suites filled with employees of organizations far bigger than my own.

“I love it. It’s beautiful and quiet… Maybe too quiet sometimes,” I added.

My friend looked puzzled.

I missed walking down the halls of my old building, seeing warm smiles on familiar faces, and engaging in an occasional bit of banter.

“It’s strange,” I told her. People don’t seem to make eye contact. Everyone stares straight ahead and silently goes about their business. It’s like an unwritten code or something.”

“An introvert’s dream.” She replied.

She was right. Kind of.

As an introvert myself, I must admit I’m not one who actively seeks conversation. But something was missing. I just wasn’t feeling very connected.

A few days later I was washing my hands in the lady’s room. A woman came out of the stall and proceeded to the sink next to mine. Something welled up in me. Before I knew what I was doing, I heard myself break the silence, suddenly blurting out a clumsy greeting.

“How are you today?”

She looked up, somewhat startled, and stared blankly at me. For a moment, I was reminded of how it felt to be an awkward teenager.

“I’m fine,” she replied after what seemed an eternity. “How are you?”

“I’m great. I’m kind of new here, and I noticed that people don’t really talk to each other much – it’s like an elevator where everyone faces forward and never interacts. And I started to do that too. But I thought it might be nice to try something different today.”

Her face softened, and her eyes brightened. “Yeah, you’re right. I’m just running all the time from thing to thing and so preoccupied.”

“I know that feeling,” I responded, thinking of how many times I was kind of relieved to not have to engage with anyone.

“It really is nice to just be able to talk like yourself, isn’t’ it?” she said.

I found her choice of words interesting. We both relaxed a bit and became a little more conscious. After exchanging names and talking ever so briefly, we each went our way.

And in that moment, the trajectory of my day (and perhaps that of days to come) was changed.

As I reflected on the interaction later, I realized how easy it is for all of us to just take as given the circumstances we find ourselves in – the social norms, the cultural conditioning, the perceived constraints of our day-to-day lives.

Some of those norms serve us. But every once in a while, you might recognize one you’d like to bump up against and challenge in some small, perhaps even unperceivable way.

Do it. You may find you’re not the only one who wants to break through those unwritten rules.

Sometimes the smallest changes spark the biggest transformations – even if only in yourself.

Here’s to busting out of your box!

How to Connect, Communicate & Collaborate with Greater Influence & Impact

 

Are there people in your office (or your life) that drive you nuts because they insist on doing things so differently than you do?

We’re led to believe we should treat others the way we want to be treated.  But if one person’s preferences are another’s irritations, using that approach to connect, communicate and collaborate doesn’t always work very well…

When people don’t say and do things the way you’d like them to, you might believe they are intentionally trying to make you crazy – when in reality they are just operating with a style that is different than yours.

This week’s video will give you a leg up on understanding people’s differing styles in a way that’ll transform frustration into appreciation, collaboration and synergy.

And if you’d like to find out what is likely YOUR most dominant behavioral style, take this complimentary 14-question quiz.  Along with your results, I’ll provide you with tips to help you not only understand but also LEVERAGE your unique style to maximize your effectiveness, influence and impact – with others who are both similar to and different from you.

Here’s to your success!

Diane

P.S.  If you know of others who might like to learn about their style  – and how to best connect, communicate and collaborate with others too, you can direct them to www.LearnYourStyle.com to take the complimentary quiz as well.

Today’s the day! Join me at noon PST…

 

It’s Friday… the day we all wait for.  A threshold between our work and personal lives.

What if you could spend an hour learning how to better integrate those two worlds in a way that enhances both?

Join me TODAY from noon to 1 pm PST for a free one-hour webinar that will shed some light on how to unleash your very best performance at work while also enjoying more satisfaction and fulfillment – both on and off the job.  (Details below).

Here’s what one senior executive had to say about learning to better integrate work and life:

What I liked about The Pinocchio Principle Unleashed is that while it is professionally career-oriented, structured, and measured, it incorporates lots of the human aspect too. That makes it fun. It makes you really reflect, provoke deep thoughts, and be more prepared to deal with your day-to-day stuff both at work and outside of work. It is holistic. It’s a well-rounded approach to how one could grow and develop as a human being as well as professionally as a leader.

 Diane’s style is very personal and highly engaged. She puts a lot of thought into her examples and has a knack for using just the right one at the right time. The content is excellent, and the tools are so useful. It has helped me to become more aware of what triggers me and how to self-direct so that I can stay in a state of flow and not fall into old reactive patterns that keep me from being effective. This has benefited me immensely, both personally and professionally.

Dr. Islam Salama, CEO, Hyperion Technologies

TODAY’S THE DAY!  Come join me from noon to 1 pm PST, when I’ll be sharing some of the same concepts I teach in The Pinocchio Principle Unleashed program. 

Here’s the link: https://us02web.zoom.us/j/84361908256?pwd=S0pmRDY2L0NTc29rMDUyVTQ1U2RwUT09

To ensure that you’ll get a calendar notice and increase the chances that we can reach you in case of any additional technical difficulties, be sure to register in advance.

You’ll learn:

• Why many high-achieving executives tend to unwittingly hinder their own and others’ performance (and how to keep that from happening)
• Puppet vs. Genius: Which are you leading from (and at what cost)?
• How to progress smoothly through a five-phase approach that unlocks the very best performance in yourself and others – while minimizing stress, pressure, and overwhelm

I’ll also give you a sneak preview of The Pinocchio Principle Unleashed, a 13-week leadership development program designed to help you overcome stress, pressure and overwhelm so you can maximize your effectiveness, make a bigger impact, and enjoy your work and your life more.

Can’t attend? No problem.  Simply respond to this email and I’ll make sure you get a link to the recording.

Here’s to unleashing your Genius!

Diane

P.S. Interested in registering for The Pinocchio Principle Unleashed program? We’ve moved the deadline to Friday 8/25.  Get more details and enroll here.

Sometimes you just need a new perspective…

 

We’ve all experienced that feeling of banging our heads against the wall trying to figure something out or move beyond an imposing obstacle. It’s frustrating when solutions elude you – or when what used to work just doesn’t anymore.

What would it be worth to be able to lead and solve problems in a whole new, more effective way?

Join me tomorrow (Friday 8/18) from noon to 1pm PST for a free one-hour webinar and learn how a few simple shifts can open you up to a whole new level of effectiveness and clarity.  (Details below).

Here’s what one person had to say about learning and integrating these concepts…

“I have more tools in my toolbox of well-being and how to view any particular problem, whether faced with it on a personal level or on a professional level. I feel like I’m on a new plane of consciousness and I have a more optimistic and wider view of my own capabilities and life. I’ve been able to connect to my own intuition more readily and more often by practicing what we’ve done in this course and spending time talking with Diane. I think it’s very powerful.  My leadership has opened up.”

 Scott Munger, Chief Operations Officer, Omicron Technologies

Below you’ll find all the info you need to join me on tomorrow’s webinar.  I hope to see you there! 

Here’s the link: https://us02web.zoom.us/j/84361908256?pwd=S0pmRDY2L0NTc29rMDUyVTQ1U2RwUT09

To ensure that you’ll get a calendar notice and increase the chances that we can reach you in case of any additional technical difficulties, be sure to register in advance.

You’ll learn:

• Why many high-achieving executives tend to unwittingly hinder their own and others’ performance (and how to keep that from happening)
• Puppet vs. Genius: Which are you leading from (and at what cost)?
• How to progress smoothly through a five-phase approach that unlocks the very best performance in yourself and others – while minimizing stress, pressure, and overwhelm

I’ll also give you a sneak preview of The Pinocchio Principle Unleashed, a 13-week leadership development program designed to help you overcome stress, pressure and overwhelm so you can maximize your effectiveness, make a bigger impact, and enjoy your work and your life more.

Can’t attend? No problem.  Simply respond to this email and I’ll make sure you get a link to the recording.

Here’s to unleashing your Genius!

P.S. Interested in registering for The Pinocchio Principle Unleashed program? We’ve moved the deadline to Friday 8/25.  Get more details and enroll here.

How to Contain the Spread of… FEAR (even amidst a pandemic)

To say we are living in a time of great challenge and uncertainty would be a major understatement.

There’s no dispute that we’re currently facing a virus over which we have very little control.

But there is another contagion being propagated that we have every ability to contain. 

And that is FEAR.  

Fear does funny things to people. At its worst, it produces panic — a physical state that literally disables the brain’s ability to think clearly. There is seemingly no other explanation for the current shortage of toilet paper.  It just isn’t rational.  But the greater the shortage, the higher the demand.

When people are in fear, they bypass their ability to think and are easily influenced by mass hysteria and knee jerk reactions. They also tend to put their own needs above those of others.

Fear triggers our instinct for self-preservation, leading us to scan our environment for anything that indicates that danger is present.

But when we’re gripped by fear, we just don’t see things clearly.  And the more fear there is, the more evidence there seems to be to suggest there is something to fear, which of course elicits more fear.

Fear narrows the aperture of the lens we view things through.  In other words, we are only seeing a small fraction of the entire picture.  It’s like staring at a dot on the wall by smashing your face against it.  The dot is all you’ll see, even though the room you are in is exponentially larger than the small dot right in front of you.

• You’ll put your attention on what is wrong, rather than what is right.
• You’ll spend more time and energy on describing, complaining about, and magnifying the problem than on finding the solution.
• You’ll be more concerned with what you can get rather than what you have to give.
• You’ll focus more on what is out of your control than on things you are able to influence.
• You’ll tend to feel helpless rather than hopeful – and you’ll act in ways that lead others to feel that way too.

But each of us has the power to turn this fear response around.  And it is imperative that we do it now.

Though most of us have never lived through a pandemic as extensive as COVID-19, we have all likely weathered a few storms over the course of our lives.

And we’ve not only lived to tell about it, but also learned a thing or two along the way.  In times like these it is essential to draw upon that wiser, calmer part of ourselves that knows this too will pass – and that we can rise to these challenges with courage and grace.

I call this vital part of ourselves Genius.  Here are three simple ways to activate it:

1.  Do whatever you can to quiet your mind and calm yourself down.

When fear hijacks your system, your thinking will be cloudy, and your body will be on high alert.  The cortisol that gets released will increase your heart rate and blood pressure.  Your neural activity will be diverted from the most highly developed part of your brain to the most primal.

As a result, you’ll experience a fight, flight or freeze response.  You’ll be prone to seeing dangerous things that aren’t there – and inclined to screen out helpful things that are.

To counter that reaction, take some deep breaths.  Get oxygen flowing back into your cells.  Then, ask yourself a question that moves your neural activity back into your prefrontal cortex, the part that allows you to think deeply and make good decisions.

A question like, “What do I really want?” or “What could I do to make this situation better?” will help you get back on the right track.

The more you can quiet your mind, the more space you’ll create for inspiration and answers to come in – and the more likely you will be to recognize and act on them when they do.  Rather than unconsciously reacting, you can respond with thoughtful intention.

2.  Choose curiosity over judgment.

Once you’ve come to a fixed conclusion about something, you are not likely to consider other perspectives.  Cognitive science tells us that confirmation bias leads us to take in information that aligns with our current beliefs and screen anything that contradicts them out.

And from that mindset, you’ll run the risk of behaving in ways that make things worse.

But while judgment narrows your aperture and keeps you in a fixed position, curiosity opens it and allows you to get unstuck.  Your lens zooms OUT rather than IN.

Instead of only seeing that small black dot, you’ll take in more of your surroundings.  In place of the wall that once blocked your progress, you’ll see possibilities and solutions that can move you forward.

Notice anything you may currently be believing that could be shutting you down or causing more stress – and challenge it.  Ask yourself, “Is it really true?”.  Rather than paying attention to what your eyes are showing you, get curious and ask, “What am I NOT seeing?”

3.  Shift your focus from what you stand to lose to what you have to gain.

In the face of this international calamity, we have all had to make sacrifices.  Life as we know it has drastically changed.

Offices, schools, stores, restaurants and other establishments are closed (or have limited access). Travel has been halted.  The market is taking a hit. Your daily routine has likely been obliterated.  The safety of people you love (and you, yourself) is in question.  And as a result, social distancing has become an imperative.

But amidst all this, there are things to be optimistic about.

• • For many of us, the crazy hustle bustle that compelled us to run from one thing to another is giving way to opportunities to slow down, rest and find our bearings.
  • Our true priorities are coming into focus, allowing us to find more meaning and purpose in the things that we do and the way that we do them.
  • Though we cannot always be in each other’s physical presence, we can stay connected. We can (and must) lean on our advancing technology to communicate with, support and care for one another without being in the same room.
  • We are facing a collective challenge that has the power to bring us together despite our differences. As we worry less about ourselves and find ways to help each other, we activate reserves of strength and resilience we may not have realized we had.
  • When nothing is certain, anything is possible. We can view the current disruptions we must deal with as opportunities to find better ways of doing things we never had reason to evaluate.  We can be more intentional and conscious in everything we do.

In summary,

1. Do whatever you can to quiet your mind and calm yourself down.

2. Choose curiosity over judgment.

3. Shift your focus from what you stand to lose to what you have to gain.

As you take these steps to become more connected with your own Genius, you’ll hold a space for others to do the same.  Your ability to remain calm and optimistic will rub off.  And you’ll not only quell the virus of fear but also proactively extend the hope and optimism that will allow us to prevail both individually and collectively.

Now THAT’s something worth spreading.

For more on connecting with your Genius, check out The Pinocchio Principle: Becoming a Real Leader – How to Unleash Genius in Yourself and Others.

Did you enjoy this article?  Share with someone who could benefit from reading it: https://dianebolden.com/2020/03/19/how-to-contain-the-spread-of-fear-even-amidst-a-pandemic/

 

*Image: Pixabay 2020

When the Road You’re On Isn’t Getting You Where You Really Want to Go

 

Have you ever achieved a goal that wasn’t as fulfilling as you thought it would be?

Maybe it was a target you wanted to meet, a possession you longed to acquire, or a promotion you were hoping to receive.  You kept your eye on the ball and hunkered down to do whatever it took to get there.  When obstacles presented themselves, you busted through them and may have felt as though you were repeatedly banging your head against a wall.  “The reward for your exhaustion would be the sweet taste of victory in the end,” you may have told yourself.

I did.  And when I got to the top of the hill I was climbing I realized the mountain I was scaling was not mine, but someone else’s.

What if it didn’t have to be that hard?

It’s not that we want to avoid hard work, which really does have its rewards.  It’s about enjoying the journey a little more.  And if we didn’t insist on having to blaze the trail in front of us, we might find that off in the distance a lovely path is being revealed – if only we would stop long enough to pay attention.

When I take on new clients, they are often in the same state I have often found myself in. 

They have worked hard to get somewhere, but they know in their hearts there is something greater available to them.  Perhaps they haven’t been getting the results they wanted, have been experiencing a great deal of stress or even burnout, or are just ready for a change.  During times like these often the best thing we can do is not to speed up, but to slow down – way down.

If the path you’re running on isn’t getting you where you want to go, moving faster won’t do you any favors.

The best leaders are not those who have all the answers, but rather the best questions. 

• What are the possibilities?
• What are the opportunities?
• How are we uniquely positioned to make the most of them?
• In what ways can we leverage our strengths to rise up to our challenges?

In asking such questions, these leaders bring to the surface answers, insights and knowledge people hold inside that allow great things to happen.  Rather than imposing a vision on others, they allow it to develop collectively, with the knowledge that they can’t possibly see and accomplish everything singlehandedly.

Before these great leaders can do this for others, they must do it for themselves. 

So I challenge you (and myself as well) to focus on asking the important questions and to be still long enough to hear the answers.

In Native American cultures, young adults are sent on vision quests. 

These rituals involve sending the youth on a journey, packed with provisions that allow basic needs to be met.  Instructions are simply to wander around and find a place that calls to them.  Upon doing so, further direction is simply to sit and reflect.  The belief behind this is that we do not necessarily need to actively find our vision.  When we quiet ourselves and pay attention, our visions find us.

A vision quest doesn’t have to be all consuming.

In our complex society, few of us have the time to go wander around the desert and sit for indefinite periods of time.  So we need to make the time in our busy schedules to connect the dots.  This may be a few minutes here and there.  You may find yourself repeatedly daydreaming about something, or playfully entertaining an idea or possibility that will not allow itself to be dismissed.

These are critical pieces of information that can be vital to our journeys.

Like pieces of a puzzle, they eventually come together to reveal a bigger picture.  Pay attention to them, and do whatever is necessary to nurture and protect them. Capture these thoughts on paper or in your computer and add to them as new ideas continue to emerge.  Some of these nuggets will become more valuable to you than others – like gold in the miner’s pan, they will begin to shine amongst the grains of sand.

Notice also the synchronicities that occur all around you that help make your visions real. These may be chance encounters with people uniquely connected or qualified to help you, valuable information that effortlessly comes your way, and little serendipities that allow you to feel as though you are in the flow of something bigger than yourself.  Chances are, you will be.

Enjoy the ride!

If you are interested in additional strategies for helping you navigate a path aligned with who you truly are – one that leads to lasting freedom and fulfillment, I invite you to check out The Pinocchio Principle Unleashed: The Real Leader’s Guide to Accessing the Freedom & Flow of Your Authentic Genius.  Registration for the fall session is now open!

This 13-week leadership development program is designed to help high achieving professionals bring out their very best performance in such a way that fills them up rather than depleting them – and allows them to make a bigger impact doing meaningful, inspiring work while leading others to do the same. 

The program will kick off in late September and go through early December.  Enrollment is limited, so save your seat as soon as you can.

How to Get What You Really Want

 

“What do you really want?”

I ask my clients and myself this question. We answer:

• I want things to go my way.
• I want to come out on top.
• I more wins and fewer losses.
• I want my problems to disappear.
• I want to be profitable.
• I want to be successful.
• I want to be respected.

All understandable, relatable.

But the follow-up question is just as important.

“What would that give you?”

This one stumps people. But the answer is usually something about getting peace of mind, satisfaction, happiness and a feeling that all is as it should be in the world.

What if you could have that now?

Sign you up, right?

It starts by recognizing that that the quality of your day – the feeling of getting what you want – is a direct reflection of your thoughts.

Here’s an example of what I mean.

You are about to go into a high-pressure meeting.

You know what you need to do to come out on top. Of course, you want to win, you want to be respected and your agenda dictates that the meeting must unfold in a certain way. Already your mind has created a definition of winning, of GETTING WHAT YOU WANT, that involves you playing your part and others in the meeting playing the part you have imagined for them.

If things don’t go exactly the way you envision, you are disappointed.

You may feel disrespected. If they do go your way, and someone else loses in the process because they must bow to your agenda, then the victory of that win is likely to fade quickly, leading you to seek another win.

What if you go into that same high-pressure meeting with a different mindset?

A mindset that views the meeting through the lens of all parties winning – even if the way to do that was not part of your original agenda? Go into the meeting seeking the best solution for everyone and watch what happens.

Up leveling your mindset allows you to see new possibilities and get better results.

Your mind will begin to entertain the thought that there could actually be a solution in which everyone wins. As a result, you will listen more intently. You will ask different questions. You will be more genuinely interested in what others have to say, because they are an important part of your solution. You will show respect others, and in so doing receive respect.

If you hold the intention of a meeting that everyone walks away from feeling better than when it started, you’ll go into that meeting with a quiet confidence, faith, trust and patience. You’ll take comfort in the wisdom of the group. You’ll start to find you are NOW getting what you want.

It sounds too easy.

Magical even. It’s no wonder since we’re conditioned to believe that we have to do something to get what we want, whether that’s money, respect or peace.

Let’s start again.

Think about whatever your mind if most occupied with and ask the question, What do I really want?

And then, what would that give me?

Take those questions to a higher level, one in which everyone involved benefits in some way.

Feel the ultimate end state as though it has already happened, even though you have no idea how it will happen. Can you rest in the certainty that things will happen in everyone’s best interest?

Let it flow.

Then as you go about your day or face this situation, let your actions flow from the state of mind you wish to achieve. Over time, you’ll realize that instead of having to see it to believe it, what you see will be a direct reflection of what you believe. Allow yourself to believe in the highest possible good for everyone, let go of how it will happen and watch miracles unfold in your life and those of everyone around you.

You won’t have to do anything to achieve that peace of mind, satisfaction and a feeling that all is as it should be because you already possess it.

This process is just one of the many techniques taught in The Pinocchio Principle Unleashed: The Real Leader’s Guide to Accessing the Freedom & Flow of Your Authentic Genius to help you get the results you want with less stress and greater fulfillment. This exclusive 13-week leadership development program kicks off the week of April 1st and is limited to the first 25 people who enroll. Reserve your spot today!